• @[email protected]
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    10722 days ago

    Of course. No way they are going to poison themselves without poisoning everyone else around them alongside.

  • @UnderpantsWeevil
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    7522 days ago

    You all simply don’t know the incredible sensation of a ninja poisoning your coffee right after sex.

    • hswolf
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      822 days ago

      Was the ninja there before, during or after the sex? What exactly was his participation? Did he have ninja credentials?

  • @[email protected]
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    6122 days ago

    I don’t think there’s a smoker alive who doesn’t know it’s bad for them and a lot of them would like to quit. It’s a sad thing.

    • @[email protected]
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      4722 days ago

      Most smokers I’ve talked to get really defensive about it. “it’s not that bad! Sugar is worse for you! It’s not like you exercise or anything! I don’t smoke as much as so-and-so!”

      It’s pathetic, really. I’d respect them more if they could just own “this is bad for me and everyone around me.”

      • @[email protected]
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        1722 days ago

        It’s probably a really painful thing to lot of them. It’s like someone defending being fat, they must know it’s unhealthy and have likely tried to do something about it, without success, so now someone mentioning it just causes them to be defensive. Of course there’s no passive diabetes so in that respect smoking is a lot worse since it affects others too.

        • @wreckedcarzz
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          622 days ago

          personal rant

          “we’ve tried nothing, and we are all out of ideas” comes to mind

          I had a relative who was a smoker; I’d visit and they would try to keep it out of sight, but everyone knew. As the years went on, it became more and more of a problem (financially and health), and many tried to push back and help, support, them. Fought like a child at every step. Fucking developed copd and still didn’t seem to give a fuck, wheezing and struggling with each breath, until just a couple of years before they died; when it was way too god-damn late to do shit about it.

          I don’t want to sound like a heartless bastard, but some stupid fucks just won’t listen to any reason, and so they need to feel the consequences of their actions. This person would likely still be alive and in decent health, even years later, if they stopped being so fucking defensive/lying/deflective about it.

          I get yeah it’s hard - I’m a fucking stroke ‘survivor’ who is suffering every day I’m alive, incapable of doing basic tasks and body control, stuck in the prison that is my own malfunctioned body and brain, so don’t go crying to me about how hard it is to do things - but you know what’s harder? Waking up in the morning when you’re dead.

          • @[email protected]
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            622 days ago

            I have very little patience for people who can’t or won’t do the hard thing. Like, yeah withdrawal is going to suck but sometimes you have to do something unpleasant to get something better.

            I mostly keep it to myself though. A lot of people have this problem. Not just about smoking.

            Conversations like

            “I’m so tired I don’t know why.”

            “When did you go to sleep and get up?”

            “Uh sleep at like 3am and up at 7am.”

            “Well that explains it. Why up so late?”

            “… YouTube videos.”

            “You should probably stop staying up so late watching videos so you’re not exhausted all day.”

            “No.”

            But I mostly keep it to myself because there’s not really anything I can do to make someone listen.

      • @UnderpantsWeevil
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        622 days ago

        Sugar is worse for you!

        I’ve heard not uncompelling arguments to this effect. But I’m also not downing a 64oz big gulp every day.

    • @UnderpantsWeevil
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      22 days ago

      I don’t think there’s a smoker alive who doesn’t know it’s bad for them

      I wish this was true. But I live in a country full of people who are more afraid of vaccines than horse roundworm drugs.

      There’s still a rump base of Americans convinced climate change, seat belts, dinosaur bones, and warnings on cigarette boxes are an evil trick by the communists in government.

      • @RedWeasel
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        122 days ago

        Unfortunately the plan isn’t working. That rump of Americans are dying to slowly. /jk-ish

    • @[email protected]
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      22 days ago

      There’s rarely a mutation that vastly increases healing/cleaning of lung tissue. They get quite old, despite smoking. What do i know, maybe somwhere around 1/100? Not the one-in-a-billion kind of rare.

      Edit: guess it was this?

    • @ladicius
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      3422 days ago

      When I stopped smoking more than 10 years ago I immediately had a surplus of 300 EUR free cash per month. Two packs a day at 5 EUR per pack at that time.

      Being healthier, not stinking like a wet ash tray and having more and better sex are other features of stopping smoking.

        • @ladicius
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          22 days ago

          More active, more attractive, more fun with harder boner*.

          *Seriously. Smoking does something with your blood flow that does not help with erections.

          • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod
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            722 days ago

            Nicotine constricts blood vessels, and since boners need blood flow it will be harder to get hard, and if you do you won’t get as hard.

    • @Buffalox
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      422 days ago

      Wow that’s insane, even if it’s “just” about $20 in USD for the cheapest packs at $30 NZD.

    • @[email protected]
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      322 days ago

      Wow! Is there a big black market for cigarettes in NZ? And have these prices lead to a lower consumption?

      • @[email protected]
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        722 days ago

        Yes to both, it has unfortunately led to an increase in crime, because they’re so readily stolen. It has definitely led to a decrease in smoking as well, as a lot of smokers quit for financial reasons.

        It’s perfectly legal to grow your own, interestingly enough, but not many people do.

          • @wreckedcarzz
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            422 days ago

            buries like 20 cigarettes

            sprays water on the mound

            by spring I’ll be rolling in the dough!

      • @Valk
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        422 days ago

        Not really a black market for cigarettes here but you can grow your own tobacco legally if you really want to go down that road. Smoking tobacco in younger generations is very rare but vaping on the other hand is very popular. The government was touting a “smokefree by X” date that kept moving back as the dates came closer.

  • @CluckN
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    4122 days ago

    Yeah but imagine if the ninjas also gave handjobs

    • @wreckedcarzz
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      522 days ago

      Are we talking silky-smooth succulent hands, or those of a construction worker who doesn’t buy 30 grit sandpaper because he always carries his own brand?

  • @[email protected]
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    3722 days ago

    The “you’ll feel worse and worse” part is pretty blatantly ignoring the endorphin rush that exists here. Like yes you may feel worse on the level, but it’s accentuated with moments of feeling pretty damn great, which seems disingenuous to ignore.

    I’m not even a smoker, and I was happy as hell when I parents quit smoking, but let’s not pretend the choice is as simple as “poison or no poison” without any tangible upsides.

      • @[email protected]
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        222 days ago

        Perhaps, and I’ll admit this is overthinking a silly comic, but it seems to me that the coffee is a given assumption and it is only the addition of poison which is variable, so I think any implications of the coffee are entirely incidental

  • @UncleArthur
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    3222 days ago

    In the UK, for a pack-a-day smoker, that’s more like $140 a week.

  • z3rOR0ne
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    2622 days ago

    Does it come with nicotine? Cuz that’s kinda why I came in here…at least nicotine gives me a bit of a high while it slowly kills me. Rethink your new product.

    • @[email protected]
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      422 days ago

      Come to think of it, why is stuff like nicotine gum only marketed to people who wanna quit smoking? Couldn’t non smokers also just use it for a mild high?

  • @JohnnyH842
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    922 days ago

    Not me! I’ll take a pack of this Chewlie’s gum right here.

  • @njm1314
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    822 days ago

    Is there some kind of accelerated program I can join

  • @bitjunkie
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    322 days ago

    Man, that on-the-nose anti-smoking humor in 2024… So fucking fresh and edgy.

    • @pyre
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      22 days ago

      not your breath, but your entire existence. i can smell a smoker who just walks nearby. some from quite a distance. they’re disgusting.

  • @hardcoreufo
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    -222 days ago

    Just never go into a convenience store. Aside from the sparse selection of fruit everything else there is bad for you. Tobacco, energy drinks, shitty snack food, lotto tickets. The only convenience is an early release from your mortal coil.