Remember to always practice CBT
Caring
Bout
The others
I’m just over here in the corner focusing on 5 things I can see 4 things I can hear…
Uh… No. No this is just wrong. I’m glad they’ve found enough outlets for their praise kink that they think the whole subculture is this, but man. No. Not even close.
once the leather, chains, and toys get packed up, wouldn’t you use the Dom voice to tell your loved one to eat their danged vegetables?
I don’t have to, I’m an incredible cook. She’s practically begging for my zucchini.
You’re really good at critiquing social media posts. I got another here. You’re good at finding shortcuts around this part of town.
I feel like there is a reference in that second one I don’t get :(
It’s a different subculture than the ones you know.
I will bet you one shiny silver nickle it’s not.
It’s nice that praise kinks are starting to get accepted (because man, they sure werent taken seriously for a long damn time), but to characterize this as “a lot” of the bdsm community is just comically wrong. It’d be like saying “a lot” of the community is into heavy rubber or petplay or ABDL - all very popular, but still minute fractions of the broad community.
Oh BDSM in general isn’t like that, sure, but I’m in a submissive focused discord and there are many people there who have lifestyle dynamics similar to the one in the post. Like yeah the poster doesn’t know what they’re talking about but those kinds of dynamics certainly do exist. They’re not something I’m comfortable with, self discipline has to come from the self and to me having discipline for life things like that come from your partner enforcing that on you feels like a crutch that I’m not ok with personally, but ykinmk and all that.
It’s honestly kind of interesting to me, I think dynamics fall onto a spectrum of being controlled to being taken care of. I mean that in a general sense, not specific things like aftercare. Like yes caring for and about your partner is an important part of any relationship but that end of the spectrum falls more under parental care in my mind. I’m certainly no expert, lifestyle dynamics aren’t for me, but I like lurking and observing because I think it’s neat.
Oh BDSM in general isn’t like that
That… Was their entire point?
Because the OP started with “BDSM IS” which reads as is “all of BDSM is like this” regardless of whether OP meant to generalize or not.
First comment then said “BDSM is not all like that”
Yeah, I said it was a different subculture… Then the dude was like no it’s not… Then I was like yeah, not bdsm in general, a subculture… Hope you’re caught up now buddy
Sorry not usually this much of a dick but I lose patience with those with people who won’t read
It’d be like saying “a lot” of the community is into heavy rubber or petplay or ABDL - all very popular,
I’m in this post and I
don’tlike it
This person has no idea what bdsm is
Being put down is a tiny subsect of domination, more related to humiliation than domination. Sadism doesn’t have to come with mean words, either.
So… if anyone doesn’t understand bdsm… it’s you.
There is a big difference between porn and 24/7 bdsm relationships. In real world 24/7 relationships a lot of it is care and enforcement of good for everyone rules.
Not saying porn style scenes don’t happen. It’s just a lot more than that. At least in healthy 24/7 bdsm relationships.
If you want to learn more about bdsm I recommend lifestyle blogs or even books.
as a very kinky person - it is in fact you who has no idea
and yet fetlife STILL doesn’t have a Praisegiver role
