Here’s something to ponder. The next time someone accuses you of being gay for [insert lame reason here], ask them how they know that’s gay? Are they gay? Funny how some “men” are so obsessed with “gay” stuff. Always remember, and never forget, closets are for clothes.
I definitely employed this strategy in middle school
Doesn’t generally work because logic doesn’t work on these people
Know how i know you’re gay?
Wipe your ass.
Driving a red sedan
My wife and my buddy who is bi insist that I cannot have normal conversations with other dudes at the alleged gay bar we like to visit sometimes. They say that I am invariably being hit on, but I don’t notice anything like that.
I was told I’m gay because I like knitting.
I mean, yes I’m gay, but not because of that.Knitting is a form of computing and computing is women’s work. So yeah, super gay, just like all the other programmers. /s
There’s a knitting community, but it’s pretty slow. Crochet gets a little more action.
Use my fancy tea cup at work
Play a female character in an arcade game. Specifically the one in Golden Axe.
I usually play as a female character in 3rd person games because I prefer to look at a woman’s butt rather than a man’s. Seems like the opposite of gay to me, but apparently not.
old man ftw
I’ve always played as her. She was hawt. Turns out I must be gay. Who’d have known.
I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.
The 90s. Cross your legs, gay! Wear a shirt with a loop on the back, gay! Express any emotions, gay!
I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.
It’s okay, you can say “fatty” here.
Is this gay erasure?
It’s reality; this fat gay book nerd got called fat derisively MUCH MORE often than the f word
Haven’t heard “gay” as a pejorative in real life since high school in the late 90s.
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
Fellas, is it gay to not eat dirt
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.
Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.
Well it is called “homophobia” and a “phobia” is an irrational fear.
He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol
I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I’m back to normal an hour or so later.
I can’t image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I’ve ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.
They went in straight. All good then.
Wait… you’re not washing your asshole are you?
You can’t be having fingers near your butt, same with wiping
Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.
Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.
Real men know that there is a greater tactical advantage to backing out of a parking spot instead of pulling out.
If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you’d better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?
Rocket man
That really clashes with the reality of how truck bros actually park. Or does it…?
Truck bros park in the dead center of 4 spots.
Yeah, sorry, that was me today. Weird day. I’d back up 4 times and still not be able to see the lines.
Not sure if related, but my wife once told me it was hot watching me put my arm behind her passenger seat, look back and reverse out of a car space.
Now I need to know… are reverse cameras also for girls and gays?
Along those same lines, aren’t backup cameras becoming standard in vehicles?
They’ve been mandatory on all new vehicles since 2018
They’re puttin’ cameras in the cars to turn the friggin’ trucks gay! (/s for those who don’t know the reference)
Suck dick
Did you say “no homo” before doing it? If you did, that’s just a brojob between alphas.
Of course not i don’t talk with my mouth full. I was raised right
I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.
! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.
Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<
Are we talking gay or gay?
That word gets thrown around a lot without actually meeting homosexual. Most of the time it’s just used as a tasteless replacement for lame.
