• @[email protected]
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    17 hours ago

    My kid probably got pretty close to that number. He’s fine.

    Good kid. He’s got my wife’s eyes and my eating disorder.

  • @[email protected]
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    91 day ago

    My friend, Santa eats mince pies and sherry in Britain. A few cookies on the other side of the moat barely soaks up the alcohol.

    • Flying SquidM
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      417 hours ago

      Honestly, it’s amazing he doesn’t fall out of the sleigh.

  • @[email protected]
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    251 day ago

    Actually, there is only 1 Santa who gets cloned into every Santa believing household on earth. But this clone has a deadly allergy to milk. The body gets removed by an elf afterwards.

    • @ummthatguy
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      1 day ago

      Could also be the result of transporter shenanigans. Chief O’Brien has a regularly updated copy in the pattern buffer and releases a few handfuls every holiday season… then a quick memory scan and into the matter recycler 'til next time.

      • @jaybone
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        21 day ago

        What a coincidence, every holiday season I also release a few handfuls.

  • Sabre363
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    191 day ago

    That doesn’t seem like that many cookies. Assuming an average of three cookies per household, that’s only ~100 million houses visted. Santa is either racist or he’s being paid off by the elven mafia to exclusively visit certain homes, only logical explanation for the discrepancy in the cookie consumption to global household ratio.

    • @FooBarrington
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      11 day ago

      Gotta imagine not every house puts out cookies. And since there are ~127 million households, that seems to work out pretty well.

      Tho I have heard he leaves out Milwaukee for religious reasons.

      • M137
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        -216 hours ago

        Congratulations, you’re an American stereotype. Forgetting all of the world except the US, and being dumb as fuck.

        • @FooBarrington
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          215 hours ago

          Only Americans have to pay for Santa to come visit

          Happy holidays from a German :)

      • Sabre363
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        31 day ago

        Ahh, but that 127 million only accounts for the United States or perhaps a few other nations. There surely are at least a couple other countries in the world that are the ‘Santa Visit Roster’

  • @[email protected]
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    51 day ago

    I need sleep. I read this as three numbers in an array and was curious why Santa split them over three days.

    • @[email protected]
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      117 hours ago

      Thats why i always write bigs numbers without any separators

      336150386 is so much more readable

  • M137
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    -316 hours ago

    So OP did the classic 'Murican thing of thinking only the US exists. It never stops being disturbing how common that is. Absolutely idiocy.

    • @LifeOfChance
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      815 hours ago

      The alternative is they include the whole world then it’s “not everybody celebrates christmas!!” It’s a lose/lose situation. It’s so easy to be upset and take things to serious. Lighten up enjoy the joke and move on. It’s not that deep. People aren’t gonna sit down and analyze the probable statics of who does and who does not celebrate then make a meme.