Not a specific one, but Cialdini’s book the principles of persuasion, is probably the best book on psychology, and it’s centered on a short list of these “tricks” that cause an automatic “click-whirr” response in humans.
Upvoting posts that really aren’t that great.
Thanks. …hey, wait a minute.
Allowing yourself to be wrong. Especially as a male.
Instead of trying to figure out a way to still kind of be correct, you just objectively reconsider the facts.
It made me a better adult. I prefixed a lot of my statements with “I think” or “I believe” to emphasis the possibility for me to be wrong. And I’m more inclined to ask questions. (Which sadly gets a lot of people riled up because they have a hard time believing I’m not doing it sarcastically.)
Try using “to the best of my knowledge”, I find it is indicating that your knowledge is not complete.
But it also indicates you have thought of the situation.
Good point, but it doesn’t have a natural sounding translation in my language, although I do use “as far as I know”.
Is bothers mehow intelligence is too often percieved as the opposite.
If you’re walking towards someone on the street and you want to avoid the whole “I’m going left you’re going right” dance - DO NOT make eye contact with them and glance toward the way you intend to go. They will automatically go the other way and you won’t bump into anyone ever again
Typically people of driving age move to the side of the road they drive on, ( in that country) in a pedestrian situation.
Where it falls down is tourists in your city when e.g. you are from US and they are from UK etc.
this also works for navigating large crowds! you look slightly down and the direction you want to go and watch entire crowds part for you. some people will be oblivious and you may have to walk around them, but for the most part, people being able to subconsciously see where you want to go will make them move out of that way for you.
Now playing The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony
@TehBamski the way having 2 eyes lets us see 3D
Seeing this comment once… was enough. But a second time? Sheesh. /j
People just want to be accepted and loved. Use this knowledge to get almost anyone to do what you want.
Observe their body language. Do they cross their arms a lot? How much eye contact do they make? Do they shift around when talking? Do their eyes dart around the room?
All these are clues about their personality and disposition and you can tailor your communication to them depending on how receptive they are. Do they laugh easily? What makes them laugh? Do they talk a lot? Do they talk about themselves?
Finding out to what degree of extrovert/introvert they are can go a long way into successfully manipulating anyone around you to do what you want.
It’s how I’ve made friends and how I’ve dated women with variable rates of success.
The power of “yes, and …”
Basically when you are being accused of something, or need to shift how someone is perceiving you, instead of saying “yes, but …” You should try 'yes, and…"
Not only does it take the attention away from the negative, but it’s helping in building up new ideas.
Lawyers hate this one trick.
Improv artists love this one trick
If you are in a debate and you want to nudge someone towards your opinion, or at least away from theirs, without triggering the typical emotional defence behaviour which ruins rational discussions, calmly ask objective questions which point towards problems in the arguments of your partner.
From my experience, I found this certainly helps to keep discussions civil and make people think rather than just judge emotionally, even though this is not a one-fits-all tool.
(A) Such questions can be used to inquire about the reasons for a statement or opinion, which can provide you with a broader argumentative “attack surface” and might weaken your discussion partner when they discover that their point of view is not as sound and good as they thought it to be.
This basically boils down to principles of epistemology. “How do you know?”
(B) Another use is to include facts or opinions in such questions which counter the argument of your partner and let them re-evaluate it.
Two simple examples:
- “Why do you think that wolves are dangerous for humans?” (A)
- “How does this fit with research which shows that wolves avoid humans and don’t see them as prey?” (B)
That way you don’t necessarily present yourself as an opponent, since your own opinion is not directly verbalized. Instead you hop into a more neutral role, where you ask genuine questions and show interest in the other person’s point of view. Combatative counter arguments are rephrased and hidden that way without the other person realizing it.
This is a good one.
Taking a walk every day helps improve the mood on my dopamine deprived brain.
Sometimes the person you really need to trick with psychology is yourself.
Procrastination.
When in an argument, wait for the other person to stop talking then maintain eye contact and say nothing. They’ll feel the need to fill the void and keep talking after a few seconds, but this move throws them off balance and helps calm them down. Also works great with angry customers at retail jobs.
Also, when you suspect someone is lying to you. After the silence, they’ll often try to cover up the lie because they suspect you’ve figured them out.
I can get people to tell me their life story and trauma within 10 minutes of meeting them.
Someone tell me what psychology trick I’m doing so I can stop doing it!!!
I get this too! I don’t judge them, I listen because they’ve probably been wanting to do that for a long time. Another thing that happens with me is that “tough” types will approach me and start acting really friendly with me, whereas with other people they’re always angry and intimidating. I think there’s something about me that’s really disarming but like you, I have no idea what it is!
I have no idea why but this happens with most people in my family and we can even trace it back to my great grandma.
I think it does come down to listening actively, but also by sharing a sense of openness and vulnerability. When you’re honest about yourself with others, they’re more likely to be honest with you.
It’s genetic?
Thank you for the reaction image and good luck with knowing too much about the people around you
u/Sharkeatingbreakfast
Autism is genetic, and many undiagnosed autistic children will become much harder to diagnose as adults because they will over adjust from their social awkwardness and become incredibly active listeners.
They’ll often be told they’re “easy to talk/open up to” because they maintain great eye contact, nod along and give little responses throughout a story.
I’m not saying you’re autistic necessarily, but the experience you’re explaining is one that I’ve had and many people I’ve known have had
I’m not saying you’re autistic necessarily
Lmao you don’t have to.
So all I gotta do is cure this gosh-dang autism and people will stop?
The 4chan version of autism doesn’t have this issue as much, I’d guess. You could give that a shot
listening
oh no…
“Langer demonstrated this fact by asking a small favor of people waiting in line to use a library copying machine: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?”
The effectiveness of this request-plus-reason was nearly total: Ninety-four percent of those asked let her skip ahead of them in line.
Compare this success rate to the results when she made the request only: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?” Under those circumstances, only 60 percent of those asked complied.
At first glance, it appears that the crucial difference between the two requests was the additional information provided by the words “because I’m in a rush.”
But a third type of request tried by Langer showed that this was not the case. It seems that it was not the whole series of words, but the first one, “because,” that made the difference.
Instead of including a real reason for compliance, Langer’s third type of request used the word “because” and then, adding nothing new, merely restated the obvious: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies?”
The result was that once again nearly all (93 percent) agreed, even though no real reason, no new information, was added to justify their compliance.”
Excerpt From Influence Robert B. Cialdini, PhD
Many of my friends are familiar with this study, and an inside joke of ours is to, when asking for something, end it with “because reasons.”
I managed to skip the entire line at Ohare security screening by just walking past people waiting patiently while I repeated “sorry, plane is boarding, excuse me, boarding, pardon me…” etc. Nobody bothered objecting and got out of the way for me.
My incoming flight was delayed, and immigration took forever, so once it was time to get to my connection the plane had started boarding. After security I had to run, and I got to the gate just in time.
This is more of an unwritten rule of airport security lines, the staff will let you through if you tell them you’re plane is boarding.
Better not argue with this idiot
“Sure”
Be kind and use people’s names. Also, just asking for stuff.
You’d be amazed how far it will take you just to ask for something, using a person’s name, and being kind about it. Demand something and people will be reluctant to give you a thing.
brygphilomena, can I have your full name, address, social security number, and mother’s maiden name?
brygphilomena, can I have your full name, address, social security number, and mother’s maiden name?
You forgot the magic word.
Sudo brygphilomena, can I have your full name, address, social security number, and mother’s maiden name?
Orillstabyou.
Being nice to people makes them happy to be around you.
Master manipulator. Needs to be contained
Love your sense of humour. :-)
