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pissing standing up
I sit on my throne like a king.
I sit down every time I go to piss because it’s one if the few places where I can be sure I’ll be left alone. It’s not about the piss. It’s about the break.
It’s also about not spraying piss all over my floor
Or having both hands for the phone, or not needing to blind yourself with a light in the middle of the night. So many reasons.
Mark your territory, boy.
Someone doesn’t just get followed into the bathroom I see.
Thank fuck, tbh.
And tuck them like a eunuch.
Yes, I too like it spraying urine on my balls and pecker as I piss like a racehorse and it ricochets off the front of the bowl.
Oh you’d hate to know about how when you shit sitting down you get Poseidon’s kiss.
That’s why I shit standing up like a real man
While standing, do you shit directly into the water so that all the women in your vicinity get aroused by the sound of the splash or are you a stealth shitting fuckboy like Anon? And how exactly do you aim? So many questions.
You face towards the toilet, stand right on the toilet seat, and aim the shit directly into the water.
That gives you highest drop distance for maximum splash sound and maximum bitches.
Only in a greentext will OP talk about their family members getting horny over little things
ok, sidepoint, but the other day I realized that urinals are just dedicated walls for people to pee on and I think that’s really sweet
I’ve got news for you, on festivals there are sometimes literal metal walls to piss on with a drain beneath.
Huh, so they abandoned the trough?
The what
Oh dear, now I can imagine the one dude with his diving mask at the end of that through…
I’ll be honest, since it looks like this thing is only used from one side it’s very similar to what I’m describing just without a backwall to piss against. Less material required though so it has at least that advantage
We had one like that used from both sides at our old baseball stadium. This was the closest I could find to that. It was wider so less risk of splashing those across from you, but almost nobody went to the other side for obvious reasons.
How is that sweet im curious
Well its probably sweet if you’re diabetic
Okay then explain to me why every time you go to stand in front of one, your boss walks in and stands next to you starts talking to you about quarterly projections while you’re trying to squeeze a single drop of pee as you sweat and pretend to be at all thinking or caring about work.
The solution clearly is to piss on her to establish dominance
You guys with your weird water-to-the-brim toilets. My first encounter with an American toilet made me think it was clogged. So I pissed outside to satiate my feral needs.
the hell kind of toilet were you using? they usually have water in like the bottom third and the water level only goes up for a moment when you flush.
That’s just because they don’t have water in European toilets, they flush by spitting into the toilet until the poo goes down.
I use a nice “watch-your-shit” toilet
weird that the hole is in the front. most American toilets have the hole directly under your butthole and the poop just goes straight in (most of the time) with the water breaking it’s fall on the way.
New German Toilets are the same, but if you have the luck of living in an older building you will find this versions.
huh, wish i could remember when i lived in germany but i was super young at the time.
We have an older style with a ton of water, as well as the new “water wise” version. More water is better, but honestly, flushing twice isn’t an issue.
do y’all not have the kind where you press one button for pee (uses very little water bc no solid mass to move) and one for poop (more water, but still less than normal toilets)? those are pretty common here in the states now bc they save a lot of water.
Nope, just the good old fashioned, freedom-loving single lever. I’ve seen the button one at restaurants and offices and whatnot, but never in someone’s home. I have three toilets in my house, my parents have three, and my siblings each have two or three, and all of them use a single lever. Some of them have less water in the bowl, but all of them use the standard flushing mechanism.
It turns out water is pretty cheap even in my desert state (Utah), the city just does a good job cleaning it up for reuse (I think it goes to irrigation, not completely sure). So while we have incentives for reducing gardening water (especially lawns), electricity, and gas use, I haven’t seen an incentive for those low-flow toilets for residential homes, probably because toilets aren’t user of water (showers use a ton more).
water’s cheap in my state too people just like feeling good about how much water they use.
Ironically, water is cheaper in my desert climate than the temperate rainforest where I grew up (PNW).
why sinks are more practical
it’s better to piss in the sink, than to sink in the piss
Yeah, but take the dishes out.
They’re in the toilet, so it’s fine
Try hearing all of your neighbors pissing…
I swear to Christ, I think I’ve stumbled onto the one apartment building with paper-thin walls that’s also filled to the brim with neighbors who aim straight for the water…
Short units make high pressure. Smart girls hear the Reynolds number and know
/r/sinkpissers
Not sure if we have a lemmy community for this yet
Is there a queue for moderators?
I should preemptively block this. And you as well you filthy animal
Why? If you wash your hands (and you should), the soap would clean out the urine. I don’t see the problem.
Okay hear me out, the water splashes less. It makes sound but if you piss on the ceramic the piss moisture comes back at you which is disgusting.
You gotta improve your angle so the piss whirlpools around the bowl
Trick-pissing champ here, the real homies bank their shots off the shower walls first before swirling it around the bowl for the finale. If I’ve been drinking heavily the night before, I’ll piss fakey or throw in some yoga poses to up the challenge. The only way to be great is to push yourself a little farther each time you step up to the bowl.
Behind the knee and then over the shoulder has always been a crowd pleaser for me. I’ve had friends recently get into the long distance bracket, they often practice with their backs against the wall and piss hitting the urinal in a public washroom. They often score for distance and duration.
Start/stop rate and laminar flow is the real trick.
The main reason to aim for the water is as contingency for split streams. Aim for center so that split streams have less chance of breaching the toilet bowl perimeter
It’s the 3am total darkness pisses. You use the sound to locate your stream and angle. Then you can hit the water/bowl interface and then fire for effect.
As the stream lessens you micro adjust to stay in the sweet zone.
Nobody wants to hit the edge, spray all over your shins then bend over to wipe it up and slip in your own piss spray slippery floor and knock yourself out on the pissy rim only to wake up to all your family looking at you in distain as you lay on the pissy floor.
Nobody wants to hit the edge, spray all over your shins then bend over to wipe it up and slip in your own piss
This is why guys get married, to escape this hazaed… Night piss everywhere and ignore it, have the wife clean it up and complain endlessly.
This is also the leading cause of divorce apparently, according to the Wikipedia article on the matter.
Oddly specific but also very relatable. Well done.
Lol +1
Yeah, I start the stream slow in the center, then move to the ceramic as I increase the pressure. As the stream weakens, I move to the center-back so I don’t drip on the seat.
My wife wants me to sit down, but I sometimes sneak in a standing pee and she never notices w/ this strategy.
No, the main reason is establish dominance with your loud, heavy flow piss stream. The splashes on the seat you intentionally kept down are there to mark your territory against any pissers that wish to challenge you.
I’ve found the opposite. Due to the angles of the sides of the bowl, a majority of rebound splash inside the toilet still, whereas directly in the water you get the pee waters vouching back chaotically and making their way more on the rim and out of the toilet.
Just sit down to pee you idiot
I hope this was a joke.
I dont like to hold it so i pee many small amounts a day. Its hard to code with a full bladder
I piss many large amounts a day. Drink a glass extra, good for your brain and health
Nah, I code faster when I have to pee. Quality goes down, but quantity skyrockets. It’s also why I chuck water endlessly at my desk.
My mom used to say it sounded like a horse pissing onto a flat rock whenever I went to the bathroom. To which I would say “Gross! Why are you listening to me use the bathroom?!”
So that’s why some “men” piss standing, despite soiling the toilet each.fucking.time.
Get your shitty genderwars outa here
I’m saying don’t soil public toilets out of a sense of masculinity or some shit like that.
I’ll add that I currently live in a house full of women, I’m the only male and women can absolutely fucking DESTROY bathrooms. I’ve never cleaned so much piss, beauty care debris, hair and blood in my whole life. Maybe lets chill on the gender bullshit before you get yourself so hyped up you have to retreat to your friendly discord server of mindless, performative people who support your every stupid idea.
Whoa, feeling personally attacked?
And stop trying to pull that in a gender thing. I’m only saying, please sit down if it’s a toilet, piss standing in a pissoir. Fyi, i have sisters too.
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Why do you put men in quotation marks? Almost seems like yer trying to stir up some trouble, pardner.
If the men around you can’t aim or clean up after themselves, that’s a them problem. And I guess a you problem if you have to deal with it, but even more so if you’re too chickenshit to call it out. I’ve never left a bathroom less clean than when I went in, and a lot of people have this same attitude. A lot don’t, but a lot do also.
Those men sound like they:
- can’t aim
- don’t lift the seat
That said, I tend to sit out of consideration for my wife, but I’m good about etiquette when in a hurry.
About 1.: it’s always good aim until the pressure is gone and you’re about to finish.
