I wish I never told anyone I worked or studied tech. Especially older family and friends, because their requests for help are relentless.
A lot of friends are chill with it, and I don’t mind doing a little bit of help, but sometimes people are who are OFFENDED when you don’t want to help. In the same way a contractor friend won’t remodel your home for free, I am not going to fix every single issue you have with your computer for free. I’m happy to give advice, but i’m not going to work for hours without pay to fix everything.
Someday, all your elders will be dead, and you might wish you’d spent more time with them.
“Why do you always help so-and-so and never return my calls?”
So and so knows to bring the fucking cookies when they fuck their shit up, sherlock.
Sure it’s annoying but I don’t mind helping grandma with her Word doc after she cooked dinner for everyone
I help out people where I can. Some are great, and grateful. Some break things much worse, or insist that the computer spontaneously deleted their data. You do need to set boundaries, and be candid about your own: “You call yourself a computer guy?” “No, I call myself an embedded software developer, I haven’t touched a Windows box in ten years, other than yours”.
Do realize that a lot of people are genuinely victims of their own tech, these days. There are people who’d probably rather not use a computer, but have no choice.
or insist that the computer spontaneously deleted their data
That can happen on windows
Windows - not even once.
My friends help me with stuff that I need help with, too. I’m the tech person and the person to help with organization. They’re the people with good backs!
Now if I do work for hours on something they compensate me more but we’re pretty chill.
Boundaries are important!
I’m quite surprised by the fact that so many people here seem to be bothered by that. To me, having friends and family also means helping each other when we can. I am good with tech, but I am awful with many other things, and I am really glad that I do know that my family and friends will also help me.
I wish I could be paid in more than not being yelled at for a while
Grow up. I don’t mean this as an insult. You’ll see how your attitude ages.
You can go the nuclear option. My mother used to complain constantly that her computer was slow, and could I take a look at it. This developed into a fortnightly ritual where I would remove the Internet Explorer toolbars she’d added that took up a full third of her laptop’s screen, then run an antivirus scan for 5 hours or so to remove the malware she kept re-installing. Eventually, I got tired of it and told her I would either install something she couldn’t mess up as easily, or she could fix her own problems going forward. She agreed to trying something new, and her laptop got a nice Linux Mint install. I guess she really loved her malware, as she soon lost interest in the laptop, despite offers to show her how to do what she wanted to, which really weren’t more elaborate than opening Firefox and going to her email, facebook, etc, but I guess a new desktop icon and no toolbars was a bridge too far for her.
I set my dad up with Ubuntu some years ago. He wasn’t the worst windows user, but he had some troubles.
Now he’s a big Linux fan. Updates his OS himself sometimes. He’s not extremely savvy, but he gets by enough.
When the laptop is configured as a Perpetual Engagement Machine, is it any wonder that stripping off all the flashy “CLICK ME! CLICK ME!” buttons causes your mom to lose interest in it?
Feels like you took all the bells and flashing lights off her slot machine. Why even pull the lever if its not going to overwhelm your senses with engagement?
“Oh, I wish I could help, but I don’t know anything about that. That’s not my area of expertise.”
Get good at variations of that theme or you will be miserable. That or start a side business where you charge for your services.
Honestly ive helped so much ive been completely cemented in everyone’s mind as a generalist. I worked IT at a computer shop, even doing logic board level rework, fixing iPad and iPhone screens, cameras and ports, I woodwork so I can fix, put together and install most furniture kits, and make some original stuff, with that you become generally handy so ive done basic electrical and appliance repair (fixed the dishwasher, vacuum cleaner and some smaller things) and even some light plumbing when fixing toilets and sinks and leaks.
“Good workers are rewarded with more work” right?😭
And as long as you keep sharing that information with your friends and family, they’re going to keep expecting free help. You need to get used to saying “I don’t know”, even when you do.
It stopped when I started asking for 50€ per hour. It was 20 years ago.
I’m a professional photographer which is sort of tech adjacent to people that don’t know much about tech so I get this too which is funny because my brothers career is based around helping people with their tech problems and they think I know just as much as he does because we both “work with computers”
Just goes with the territory
I’m vaguely the tech gal for my aunt, but she never wants anything complicated, it’s not like I’m capable of a lot, but she never demands it.
I was always really fortunate in that my family didn’t bother me too much with tech support requests - mostly because I didn’t really get into a technical career when I lived near them.
However, I did have the misfortune of becoming ‘the photographer.’ I always really loved photography, and when I could, I bought one of the first model DSLR’s. I shot mostly for myself. I’d sometimes do paid work, but generally, I just liked wandering around and getting pictures of things I thought were interesting. For about a 5-10 year period, I was just expected to be the photographer for every life event for everyone in my immediate family, and I found it really dehumanizing.
I was not Monument the friend, the brother, the son, the uncle, or whatever, but ‘the camera.’ I could not enjoy the experience of being at events, or even of taking pictures for myself unless I ‘forgot’ my camera at home, or flat out refused to take pictures for other people. I’ve had strangers interrupt me while shooting to take their picture - both with their camera (tourists, mostly) or with my own camera.
When my camera fell behind in technology, I more or less shelved it in favor of crappy cell phone pictures for documenting things, but I still sort of have bittersweet feelings about using a DSLR to make art. I feel like the expectation sort of ruined the joy of shooting for me.My dad tried to get me to fly out to his place in California to fix his printer issues once. I live quite a few states away. He didn’t even offer to pay or anything, he just was like “you haven’t visited in a while and I really need your help, please come soon.” I told him to call the geek squad.
My family have always been cool about it and willing to work around my schedule when they needed something. Usually they return the favor with some cash or baked goods even though I’ve never asked for payment.
