Just horrible in every way.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2908-Kennedy-Ave-Grand-Junction-CO-81504/13953108_zpid/
Jakscuse me?
I see a lot of theories here but, if we’re honest about it, there’s no making sense of this.
It’s wild that this room is basically the entire living space. There are two small bedrooms and bathrooms, and then this. They list the kitchen separately but if I’m interpreting the dimensions correctly it’s a 20x24 foot room with a kitchenette, a stripper pole, and a ten-person hot tub. And 8 TVs, 6 of them in the middle of the main window, although I suspect they might be photoshopped in.
Swinger house.
A group owned it for fucking.
It’s new construction.
This is an AirBnB party house. No one who owns this will ever spend a night there.
You can inherit it if you spend the night though
Thanks for the fuck shack
Is that a porn house?
It has a stripper pole in the kitchen
A vegas height stripper pole
I didn’t even notice that!
And why is there parking space for like 200 cars outside?
Airbnb party house.
The neighbors have probably tried to burn it down.
I kinda like the honeycomb lighting, but that’s it
Cool for a garage/gaming room. Not sure if it fits in a kitchen for me.
Yeah that is neat. Might be hard to maintain?
No one even commenting on the bathroom. Three miles of countertop for two sinks. A giant bathtub nook with an expensive but rather small tub.
The house that Dogecoin built.
This building was designed to make a statement and that statement is “I have tech money.” A detail that jumped out at me is the garage is connected to the kitchen via a large glass door; the cars parked therein are meant to be part of the decor of the house.
The state of the place makes another statement, and that statement is “I very suddenly don’t have tech money anymore.” The building itself looks 99.9% finished, there’s some wires hanging out of a wall in one picture which makes me think there should have been another television installed or something, and work on the yard was abandoned pretty early on. I doubt the guy who ordered this monstrosity has spent a single afternoon here before his stocks collapsed and/or he went to jail for wire fraud or something. Seller is a tech brosn’t.
Just pop in some cupboards ten feet in the air in case the fucking Harlem Globetrotters come round for a bath and a poledance.
I’ve brought up some of my issues in other comments, but here’s the rest of them:
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The front door doesn’t feel centered and the side panel really bothers me.
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Why do I need a massive clear wall into the garage?
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The jutting, unfinished bricks on the interior walls is just asking for people to scrape themselves on it.
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Those are relatively low doorknobs combined with abnormally tall doors.
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In the bathroom: why put the faucet for the tub there, where it blocks easy access to that big space by the wall?
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Why do you have such massive bathroom sinks, with the faucets struck way off into a tiny corner of them? Is it for doing the laundry, because there isn’t a washer/dryer shown anywhere, and I didn’t see a hookup for one, either.
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The second bathroom sinks seem more reasonable, but the pics of the second bathroom seem to leave part of the room out.
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It’s such a comparatively small bedroom for such a large place.
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They’re not showing the inside of the closets, which makes me think they’re very small. Or maybe they just forgot them.
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Literally half of the house is a drive-through garage!
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The little house to the left is also included on the property. There aren’t any pictures of the inside, possibly due to what looks like a collapsed roof.
And going back to comments I made elsewhere, but which still bother me:
Why is there a gap around the edge of the Jacuzzi? Someone’s going to break their leg!
AND WHERE IS THE REFRIGERATOR?!
The listing says the laundry is in the garage, although I don’t see it pictured
Yeah, I missed that part of the listing. Well, we can see the front half of the garage, and most of the side wall, and it’s not there. Looking at the picture of the outside rear, there aren’t any outside vents for the dryer. Which means the most logical place for it to be is on the interior wall of the garage, where those fixtures are, between the sliding glass door and the electrical panel.
It looks like the dryer vent would lead downward into an open square - what’s that about? It also slightly reduces the utility of the vaunted six-car / drive-through garage. This whole thing is just very strange.
They say you can subdivide and put in eleven townhomes, which I guess kind of explains the community clubhouse feel of this place, though it doesn’t explain the adult sex club feeling. Except – this is in Grand Junction, where a bunch of those inbred polygamous Mormons in Utah to when they want to marry their underage cousins. I wonder if this was intended as a starting point for one of those places and they had to sell it instead?
Also a nice TV too high in the sex room.
Also the random chandelier in the kitchen area.
That’s the formal stripping and lap dance room. If you had any class you would know chandeliers are in style right now replacing purple neon lights of the old
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is the stripper pole load bearing?
also if i didn’t know any better i would say that thing in front of the pool is a folding bed so the room also counts as one of the spacious bedrooms they advertise on zillow. but it’s hard to tell even with the listing and the additional photos. one benefit of the listing is seeing that the other massive room is an indoor basketball court though.
Looks like a mechanically deployed cover for the hot tub to me
reality is often worse than fantasy. i choose multi-track drifting instead.
is the stripper pole load bearing?
That may depend on the user.
For when you just gotta relax in a hot tub while watching a movie while your strippers dance on a pole and cook you dinner by the light of a chandelier and you also need rapid access to your small aircraft that fits in your garage.
I’m pretty sure that garage is designed to house and display 2 to 4 exotic cars. The big plate glass doors into the kitchen say to me “I wanna be able to see my Ferrari from the hot tub.”
It’s so the “companion” can see the exotic cars while she’s riding the guy in the hot tub and remind herself why she’s suffering through this ordeal, keeping focused on the large cash payout and continuing to pretend enjoying what she’s doing.
… It’s a drive-through garage.
Tbone steak, cheese, eggs, and Welch’s grape
Swimtertaining
The high ceilings add to the open and airy ambiance, while the living room takes center stage with a stripper pole for entertainment and a 10-person hot tub, perfect for relaxing or hosting unforgettable gatherings.
A person who wants to have more sex than he’s getting. I’m going out on a limb here assuming it’s a he.
You can’t do it in the tub. Besides whatever sanitary issues you might be thinking, having sex in water sounds more fun in your head than it is in reality. It tends to wash away all the natural lubricant and just doesn’t work. Doing oral on someone sitting on the edge works, but that’s about it.
Having sex on the hard tile floor next to it is super uncomfortable. Probably have issues getting a foothold, especially if you’re fresh out of the hot tub. Maybe do that once.
Having sex standing up is fun every once in a while, but not on the regular unless you’re really into that.
This is how you design a sex room when you haven’t had very much sex, especially not sex in kinky locations.
This is correct , we have a two person hot tub and sex is not something we do in it. We can just wait till we are out of it and have sex. Water ≠ lube
We did the hot tub on our honeymoon and really enjoyed it, but that was our only time. Haven’t gotten back to a place with a private one and just the two of us since then, unfortunately. It significantly increased my desire to buy one but I’d probably have to move someplace without neighbors to enjoy it that way.
I know, but in the kitchen. Really. There’s sanitary issues.
It is only theoretically a kitchen:
The kitchen, while cozy, is functional and ideal for preparing quick meals.
I’d suggest you reframe your thinking - that’s the main sex room with somewhere to prepare intercoital snacks.
You’d be surprised.
They needed a kitchen to meet the conditions of occupancy permit.
Well, that explains why there’s no fridge, or even space reserved to put one in.
You know… that’s probably all it is…
This is a bachelor party/weirdo sex thing rental space, and basically nothing else, isn’t it…? Or at least that’s what whatever dumbass designed it to be…
I assume it is built for profit generation, it is a $1.5m 2000sqft house in Grand Junction with a destroyed building next to it. Not that I would be interested, but it would be a pretty ideal place for a wild bachelor party or hedonistic hootenanny.
I just find it hard to see where the ROI rental price would be sane for the market in that area. The median income of that area is $35k with a stable population of 69k(nice) and median home value of $470k, they have one strip club that is only as good as the oilfields are doing and a small swingers population as far as I can tell.
Maybe their idea is being a stop over spot between Vegas and the front range or SLC?
The lot is already planned to have townhouses. That’s where the profit comes from to put a Ferrari in the garage that you can look at from the hot tub but never drive.
I’m more concerned about the acoustic issues to be honest.
And really just the complete unsexiness of this space on every level
I think you’re forgetting just how much porn is set in a kitchen!
And now I wonder how many of those kitchens were in an actual residence that was being rented out.
[They’re [REDACTED] people]([LINK FORBIDDEN])
Orgy house was the first thing I tough.
Is no one going to mention the horrific slip risk on that marble tile? Stepping on that with wet feet is a TBI waiting to happen
my first thought was “oh joys finally i can crack open my skull outside of the bathroom!”
Not to mention the gap between the Jacuzzi and the floor - someone’s going to trip and break a leg!
I’m hoping there’s a drain down there as well.
Is that a stripper pole on the middle?
The Zillow description straight up calls it a stripper pole.
I was literally just thinking that. Must’ve been built by a rich guy who likes maids and twitch streamers
I mean I’d be up for entertainment from maids and twitch streamers…
But I also wouldn’t create this grand room of hazards with the hopes of paying some of those women to entertain me. Seems excessive.
Actually, now that I think about it more, its weird to me that anyone would actually be entertained by whatever it is the designer was hoping to accomplish here. If it were me, I’d be far to paranoid someone would slip and die, or the inevitable flying booze would ignite on the stove. And to add to it, what is that entertaining about watching maids and twitch streamers do whatever this guy was thinking? Did he lose his dick so this is the closest thing he can get to what he used to feel with a woman?
And now that I’m done thinking about that I’m realizing the answer is far more obvious: cocaine. It’s the cocaine.
for once i think i know a valid use-case for mcmansions, all that openness actually makes sense if you want a bunch of naked people milling around for your enjoyment
I guess, but you could at least have counters, or maybe a railing, or hell, even steps. Or giant acrylic walls? Something to distinguish “general areas” to be aware of?
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And now you can be that rich bloke for a measly $1.5mil (USD, I’m assuming).
I think you’re supposed to swing around on it to dry off.
Not if you swing properly…
