• @[email protected]
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    1031 month ago

    “I didn’t actually come here to free slaves.” Well then Qui-Gon, you’re a dick.

    • @[email protected]
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      661 month ago

      “The Jedi are against giving a fuck about anything unless it serves our interests.”

      Can’t imagine why Anakin rebelled.

      • @marcos
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        161 month ago

        The Jedi are against starting a war without the consent of the people that will actually suffer the consequences of that war.

        At least when it’s not one of them on the line, anyway.

        The thing is, if any of then gave a shit, they’d have her free shortly after leaving, without attacking anybody.

        • @[email protected]
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          121 month ago

          They can’t save everybody everywhere, but as you say, they could have used stealth to save people where they can without starting a war.

          • @LegoBrickOnFire
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            1 month ago

            Even acting stealthy would probably be known if they do it often enough. This would stain their reputation as neutral peacekeepers and hamper their ability to prevent conflict between worlds, even if it means not maintaining societal peace within a planet. There could be interesting arguments for saying that this kind of compromise is or isn’t moral. If you want to write an essay about it as a response, be my entertainer :p

            • @[email protected]
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              This kind of thing is why I’d expect there to be more “chaotic good” force users out there that act independently of the Order, instead of every rogue Jedi being super duper evil. Maybe Anakin wouldn’t have gone full evil if he’d had a less strict group to go to. It also would have made it harder for Palpatine to wipe them all out.

    • @[email protected]
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      161 month ago

      To be fair he tried to liberate his mother too. He just noticed that it was impossible without risking everything (the engine and Anakin).

      If he had survived I think he would have actually come back for the boy’s mother. Specially once he saw Anakin having a hard time about losing her.

      • @[email protected]
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        91 month ago

        There was also a weird chemistry there between Shmi and Quigon. I think he’d definitely come back for one reason or another.

    • @[email protected]
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      01 month ago

      We’ll see, this all happened long long ago. As we’ll all know slavery has been the norm through all of history. It wasn’t until America (fuck yeah) came along and we told everyone it wasn’t cool.

      Land of the free!

  • themeatbridge
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    1 month ago

    I always hate plot holes where problems could be solved with money, especially when a character is super rich. Obi-wan and Anakin had years to raise the money to buy Shmi’s freedom from Watto. Qui-gon had plenty of Imperial credits, but Watto wouldn’t accept them.

    So, Ani wins the podtace and then as soon as you’re off planet, hyperspace it to the nearest Republic outpost and trade the credits for some money. Go back, buy Shmi, or just cut Watto the slaver in half with a lightsaber. Obi-Wan cuts a dude’s arm off for much less.

    Or, like, Jedi mind tricks don’t work on Watto, but I bet theres a Durosian jeweler across the street that isn’t immune to Jedi mind tricks. Trade his Republican credits for all the cash in his till and the nicest Aurodium necklaces in the shop.

    And why couldn’t Harry take his best mate Ron shopping with him to pick out some decent dress robes or a new wand? Kid’s got a vault full of gold, and he basically lives at his friend’s house half the time.

    • @ch00f
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      321 month ago

      I feel like most adventure-style movie plots need to be run as a D&D campaign before final edit.

      • sylver_dragon
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        151 month ago

        So, you’re saying more big bad guy lairs need fire suppression systems? Or was only ever my players who restored to fire as a first, last, and often only, option?

        • themeatbridge
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          111 month ago

          You’re the guy casting fireball in a small room, aintcha.

          • sylver_dragon
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            91 month ago

            If the party didn’t want to get immolated, they shouldn’t have stood so close to the flammable, whatever that was that I just fireballed. Also, I cast fireball at it, again.

        • @ch00f
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          51 month ago

          It beats shattering glass and John McClaneing everyone as soon as you find out they’re barefoot.

        • @PunnyName
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          21 month ago

          So like Divinity Original Sin 2: The Floor is Fire

    • threelonmusketeers
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      why couldn’t Harry take his best mate Ron shopping with him to pick out some decent dress robes or a new wand?

      That would have put a strain on his relationship with the Weasleys:

      He would willingly have split all the money in his Gringotts vault with the Weasleys, but he knew they would never take it.

      - Goblet of Fire, chapter 10

      The few times Harry does buy stuff for Ron, Ron gets quite uncomfortable. Also, the first thing Harry does after giving startup money to the twins is to tell them to buy Ron some new dress robes.

      • @nBodyProblem
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        101 month ago

        Yeah I’ve been seeing this Ron and Harry meme all over the place. I’m not a potter fan, I don’t think the books are anything super special, but still

        It’s very clearly shown that Harry would be willing to help them out financially but they don’t want Harry’s money in the slightest

      • themeatbridge
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        41 month ago

        There are a lot of plot holes from the movies that are explained in the books. That doesn’t mean they aren’t plot holes for the movies, because those parts (holes) of the story weren’t included in the story (plot). Like the entirety of the titular mystery of The Half Blood Prince.

        Maybe there’s a novelization of the Phantom Menace that shows Qui-Gon going to all the merchants and failing to exchange his credits for local currency or goods. If it wasn’t in the movie, it’s a hole in the plot.

        The closest we ever get with money issues between Harry and Ron is when Ron tries to buy candy from the trolley, realizes he only has enough for a pack of gum, and declined Harry’s offer to pay.

    • Queen HawlSera
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      121 month ago

      I love how Dragon Ball of all franchises avoids this problem via Bulma just throwing money at every problem that can’t be solved by Goku just punching it really hard. And if she doesn’t do than Hercule aka Mr. Satan does it.

      Which is lampshaded by TFS’ End of Z dub “Man I’m glad all the people with money only use it for good!”

      And it’s hard to argue otherwise because weirdly enough, he’s right, in Dragon Ball excessive wealth is never actually shown to be a bad thing in and of itself. Even the characters shown to be dictators like Frieza are more concerned with causing violence than accumulating wealth.

      Heck the Nazis even show up (the Red Ribbon Army) and the only thing they really want to accomplish is making their leader taller.

      There’s a lot to criticize about Dragon Ball’s story telling, but weirdly enough it never occurred to me “Whitewashing of billionaires” is one of them.

      Even if we get the movies involved, only two DBZ movies involve money. One of them is a billionaire who hosts a tournament, and the only problem is he screws up and accidentally hires REAL aliens instead of actors for the space theme of the final battle, and the other rich guy we see uses his wealth to create super powered clones that obey his every whim… Their only intended purpose is to debunk Hercule/Mr. Satan’s martial arts prowess, which isn’t really an evil act since Mr. Satan is considered a major celebrity due to heroic feats he never did and is incapable of.

      • @Shardikprime
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        31 month ago

        Excuse me have you ever tried to appease a super powered, magical and immortal pink gum monstrosity with the external personality and impulses control of a 5 years old kid but with the inner sadism of a 12 years old kid?

        Dude deserves that celebrity status

        • Queen HawlSera
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          41 month ago

          He does, but for the record the movie I was talking about (Bio-Broly) takes place before Buu but after Cell, so he’s just a liar at that point.

    • @alekwithak
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      101 month ago

      Maybe this is /why/ Obi Wan is a little hilt happy in ANH.

        • @AugustWest
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          21 month ago

          If you are genuinely asking, they are playing on “trigger happy” using “hilt” to refer to the hilt of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. In the scene they are referencing Obi-Wan cuts off some ugly alien dudes arm in a bar in what could be perceived as a huge escalation in violence.

  • @[email protected]
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    1 month ago

    I don’t think I’ve seen this meme format where Anakin and Padmé are reversed. Love it.

  • Andrew
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    331 month ago

    Sadly, Anakin’s mum had already been claimed by Watto, and Padme didn’t know about unclaimsies.

    (for anyone confused, this is a reference to Skeleton Crew).

    • Queen HawlSera
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      11 month ago

      After Book of Boba Fett stabbed me in the heart right where my love of Star Wars is, and then Andor twisted the knife (and got applauded for it), I don’t watch those shows anymore. What’s unclaimsies and how badly does it break the lore?

      • Andrew
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        51 month ago

        What’s unclaimsies and how badly does it break the lore?

        Skeleton Crew is set in the world of children as much as it’s set in the world of Star Wars, and is concerned as much with pirate lore as it is Star Wars lore. “Claimsies” and “unclaimsies” is just “finders, keepers!” and another child’s attempt to reverse that.

        There’s a key moment in the show where it combines those two concepts - the made-up words and rules of children, with the made-up words and rules of pirates -

        spoiler for episode 7

        A droid decides that a call of “unclaimsies” is “close-enough” to pirate lore that it will let them re-take a ship that’s been commandeered by a pirate.

        It’s all very delightful.

        • graff
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          31 month ago

          Very very delightful. You could rip out star wars out of the thing and it would still make sense. I love it

        • Queen HawlSera
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          31 month ago

          Well, it doesn’t feel like a Star Wars show until the prison arc which is pretty good and I’d like it a lot more, but to get there you have to suffer through the Heist arc which… ugh…

          Also too much of it feels like filler. It’s called a “slow burn”, but these dinners, cereals, pointless scenes of marching, don’t add to anything or build to anything.

          The Heist was just completely unforgivable, we get two episodes of the crew Andor joins being incredibly generic and unlikable. The only thing we learn about them is that they don’t like Cassian Andor because he’s “Not one of the cool kids”

          Then we get to the Heist and itself and we get a stupidly long marching scene before anything happens (Obvious filler is obvious)

          And the heist itself is just not worth the pay off, all these unlikable characters we spent so much time getting to know die. Only unlike Rogue One where my heart is breaking and I see how everyone is sacrificing themselves for a greater cause, I don’t feel anything because I don’t feel like the Heist accomplished anything, and I hate these characters (Except maybe the guy who was writing a book) so their deaths mean nothing to me.

          Oh and the Kyber Crystal which screamed Chekov’s Gun never got used for anything. I figured maybe he’d have to sacrifice it during the heist, maybe it’d get used to make a lightsaber, no it’s just… there and he gives it back after the arc ends. Another “Glad we accomplished something”

          Bullshit, garbage show. And what really sparks my hate for it, was that anytime when the show was running that I announced that I didn’t like it, I had tons of passive aggressive assholes on my case saying I wasn’t “Smart enough to get it” or “That’s okay, not everything can be pew pew.”

          I can handle a slow burn, I can handle movies that are light on action and full on character development, what I will not tolerate is a show that drags its feet because it feels that my time and attention are not important.

          • @[email protected]
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            21 month ago

            See, I feel that the slow burns show us the general resentment of the galaxy towards the empire. They show us the cultures that have been suppressed (I recently found at that the striking metal church thing is a quirk of Romania), and they show us some of the more bleak yet sensitive moments of how the characters spend their “down” time. I really like it for its humanistic approach to its characters. No real heroes or villains, just a bunch of people caught up in the tension of the time

            • Queen HawlSera
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              21 month ago

              And that’s cool, I like the idea. Especially since the movies don’t really show us much, they just tell us “Empire bad, Rebels good”, so I’d love to see a show that makes me say “Wow, life under the Empire sucks.”

              But… gestures to Andor This aint it Chief.

  • @qarbone
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    291 month ago

    I enjoy the meme content.

    I enjoy the appropriate inversion of the meme format more.

  • @Mojave
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    201 month ago

    … So very wizard of you???

  • @RedFrank24
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    191 month ago

    Technically Padmé did try to free Shmi. She sent Sabé (played by Keira Knightley in the movie) to free as many slaves as she could find about four years after Episode 1, and Sabé did manage to free 25 other slaves, including Anakin’s childhood friends, but was unable to find Shmi since she had already been freed by that point and had left Mos Espa. The only sign Sabé could find was the symbol of the White Suns on the door, who were a slave liberation group (and of which Beru Lars was a member), and unfortunately they wouldn’t tell Sabé anything because they didn’t trust her, since she’d decided to try to get information out of local gangsters and criminals rather than going to the White Suns directly. Padmé wanted to send Sabé back to finish the mission, but by that point she was appointed senator and Sabé had other duties to protect her.

    • @andros_rex
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      81 month ago

      Where is this story told? Books?

      • @RedFrank24
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        Queen’s Shadow (2019) and Queen’s Hope (2022). It’s actually a trilogy of books. Queen’s Shadow, Queen’s Peril and Queen’s Hope.

        • @LaLuzDelSol
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          51 month ago

          Officially though none of that is canon right?

          • @[email protected]
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            71 month ago

            Canon doesn’t mean shit and hasn’t since Disney bought the license

            It wasn’t in their minds at all when the film was shot, your own personal call if it counts 20 years later or not

          • @RedFrank24
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            No, it’s canon. Disney bought Star Wars in 2012, so everything after that point is canon (with the exception of things like the Lego games and Visions)

            • @jj4211
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              61 month ago

              Wait, everything is canon after 2012, so like I can just say the Ewoks were behind everything and it’s now canon because I said so after 2012?

              • @RedFrank24
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                61 month ago

                You know full well what I mean.

              • @[email protected]
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                11 month ago

                Why not? It’s fiction. The idea that some wealthy corporate board has more authority to dictate canon than people is absurd.

              • @[email protected]
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                11 month ago

                Not just that, everything after 2012 is canon. Harambe fucking died in the star wars universe

    • @[email protected]
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      191 month ago

      That’s worse.

      They know that having her half ass the attempt and then give up with an entire planet behind her is worse, right?

      • @[email protected]
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        111 month ago

        Well they did find Shmi, but by then she’d been freed and married to Cleig Lars. She did free a shitload of other slaves from Tatooine, but at that point there’s no reason to steal Shmi away from a reasonable life.

      • @Zorque
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        111 month ago

        She wasn’t a queen in the traditional sense, it’s an elected position on Naboo. Hell, even on Earth it’s not necessarily an omnipotent position. Just because they hold a high position doesn’t mean they can wield that power for whatever whims they want. They have a whole planet to take care of, first.

        Revolutions tend to overthrow monarchies that ignore the needs of their populace.

        • alaphic
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          141 month ago

          I mean… C’mon though dude, we’re literally talking about ONE slave here. If you don’t have the political capital and/or diplomatic savvy to secure the freedom of a single, solitary piece of human chattel from an old, racist stereotype alien then are you even really a politician at all?

          Besides, if memory serves (which, granted, it’s been awhile), wasn’t Watto pretty taken with the sweet, chromed out hot rod they waltz in on to begin with? Cuz I’m no businessman or anything, but I’m reasonably sure there’s some sort of deal to be made there…

          • @Zorque
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            31 month ago

            Provided he would even be willing to trade that. His entire business seemed to depend entirely on Anakin (who was taken from him), so holding on to the one slave he had left, even if just out of spite, was probably more important to him than a little bit of bling that would be fleeting.

            • @Blue_Morpho
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              81 month ago

              He was doing business ling before Anakin was ever born. He was paid well for Anakin. His business didn’t depend on Anakin tinkering with broken robots.

        • @Blue_Morpho
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          101 month ago

          She didn’t need to conquer an entire planet. Qui-gon bought a slave with the earnings from one pod race. She could have pawned one of her dresses for more money than Watto had ever seen. He was literally living in a dump.

          • @Zorque
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            11 month ago

            And I’m sure he wasn’t a bitter resentful fuck who’d keep the slave just to spite the person who took his livelihood from him…

            • @Blue_Morpho
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              61 month ago

              He was a businessman. No one took his livelihood. He’d be getting more money than he’d ever get selling her to Lars.

              • @[email protected]
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                21 month ago

                Plus, you just kill his slaving ass if he says no.

                Should do it regardless but whatever it’s Lucas logic.

    • @aeronmelon
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      61 month ago

      Just like she tried to survive childbirth.

      • @Shard
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        31 month ago

        Maybe she would have survived child birth just fine if she wasn’t forced choked to within an inch of her life just before giving birth.

        • Queen HawlSera
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          I love that a fucking robot, a literal soulless machine, is the one who makes the “Broken heart” diagnosis

  • @[email protected]
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    The Jedi order didn’t want Jedis to have any attachments. They probably would have try to block Anakin reuniting with his mother, or expell him from the order if that happened.

    Qui Gon, as he was close to almost rebelling against the order, was probably the only one who understood that the kid needed his mother and that there wasn’t nothing bab about that.

    Maybe that’s why the Emperor send Maul to kill Qui Gon, he needed Anakin oppressed by the order so he can turn to the dark side.

    • Queen HawlSera
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      111 month ago

      Maybe that’s why the Emperor send Maul to kill Qui Gon, he needed Anakin oppressed by the order so he can turn to the dark side.

      This is actually why the song for the fight is called Duel of the Fates, because its outcome actually decides Anakin’s ultimate fate in falling to the dark side due to Qui-Gon’s death occurring in it. Had it ended differently, Anakin would have been trained by Qui-Gon Jinn, and likely found himself confiding in Qui-Gon instead of Sidious.

    • @UnderpantsWeevil
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      Qui Gon, as he was close to almost rebelling against the order, was probably the only one who understood that the kid needed his mother

      Qui Gon wasn’t in rebellion against the Jedi. Just the opposite, he was all the way into the Kool aid, chasing fantastic prophecies about Jedi Messiah.

      His final wish wasn’t to see Anakin grow up with his mom, but to see Balance Return to The Force (a problem that’s never properly illustrated in the movies, just mentioned as a philosophical hang up).

      Maybe that’s why the Emperor send Maul to kill Qui Gon, he needed Anakin oppressed by the order so he can turn to the dark side.

      Maul wasn’t sent to kill Qui Gon specifically, just to eliminate the Jedi interfering with the plot to spark civil war.

      Anakin was one more useful idiot for Palatine to exploit. Only useful until he couldn’t kill that last lingering Jedi.

    • @Pilferjinx
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      41 month ago

      The Jedi do seem to have a huge attachment to no attachments. There’s got to be a middle way, right?

      • @[email protected]
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        21 month ago

        “Okay you can join the Jedi order, but you can only have one sketchy garage full of your stuff locked in there. One! And no moving in a bed and bringing family members to live in there, kapeesh? Skywalker I’m looking at you!”

  • @Allonzee
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    111 month ago

    “Ani… I would have… but Tatooine is so very… far far away, and I was so busy constantly restyling my hair!”