• qyron
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    120 minutes ago

    Alcoholic beverages

    • white wine (but a dip into red would be interesting)
    • beer, for the carbonation
    • champagne, for the bubbles and the decadence of it

    Other liquids

    • sparkling water, a jacuzzi without one
    • rose water (for those who don’t know, it is sickly sweet smelling and very persistent and can be food grade)
    • oil, like sunflower, olive or any other of the like. After, just scrape you body, like the ancient athletes would do
  • @foofiepie
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    133 hours ago

    Water based lube.

    It’d have to be a communal bath though, and I’m inviting you all, even Hairy Steve.

  • Skua
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    677 hours ago

    Gallium? It’s solid at room temperature, but your own body heat will melt it, so you lie down on a solid block of metal and then slowly sink into a melting puddle in the middle of it. It’s non-toxic and six times denser than water so you’d be really floaty on it too

    • HobbitFoot
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      345 hours ago

      Sounds like something out of a horror film. Your body heat melts you into the material. Then, as heat gets distributed and you have more skin contact, you are no longer generating enough heat to keep the gallium melted.

      You either suffocate as the material solidifies around your abdomen or you freeze to death as the material pulls enough heat from you to kill you.

      • Skua
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        175 hours ago

        Well that does make it quite regrettable for most people, I suppose

    • Owl
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      33 hours ago

      You don’t want it to get in your body (holes, cuts etc…)

    • @[email protected]
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      6 hours ago

      It might act like a giant heatsink tho, making your body cool out as soon as it starts melting and creating proper surface contact. But chilling in 20°C water is also not really an issue so i guess it depends on the thermal conductivity of the skin/gallium interface.

    • lime!
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      25 hours ago

      the physical description also applies to butter

      • MaxMalRichtig
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        398 hours ago

        Don’t eat your bath salts. Don’t drink your bathwater.

        As a general rule: Just don’t.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart
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        198 hours ago

        You have to have 25% and 50% in your body fluids for it to happen, if you drink a glass of 50% heavy water you won’t drop dead a week later.

  • @9point6
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    318 hours ago

    Maybe coconut water or aloe vera gel, I imagine it’d feel weird but probably not regrettable.

    I guess we’ve got to beat Cleopatra as our baseline with her bath of asp milk.

    Marmite would probably veer into the regrettable category, and I’m saying that as a marmite enjoyer

    • @[email protected]
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      21 hour ago

      You’ve got two Cleopatra stories mixed up there.

      She was said to bathe in ass’s (donkey’s) milk.

      She killed herself by holding an asp (snake) to her breast.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      178 hours ago

      coconut water

      in a heartbeat

      aloe vera

      I can imagine this feeling really tingly after a while, though not sure why.

      asp milk

      what is this? I googled and found nothing

      marmite

      I too partake joyfully in that hellish sludge, and have wondered what depths of depravity I would willingly go to to satisfy that dark craving

      • @9point6
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        128 hours ago

        what is this? I googled and found nothing

        Ah I got my history slightly wrong, she bathed in donkey milk and just liked asps (a kind of snake)

        • @[email protected]
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          33 hours ago

          The asses’ milk would moisturize skin. I assume a water rinse though, because old milk stinks and could cause a yeast infection.

          The asp was legendarily her choice to commit suicide, though it was probably an Egyptian Cobra, if it was a snake at all. (Asp bite death is slower and much more painful than cobra bite death.) I have a theory that the asp legend depends partly on the fact it’s easier to rhyme “asp” than Egyptian Cobra. As for snakebite in general, I note that male artists have universally portrayed the snake biting her on her bare booby. That’s not actually a good way to get the venom quickly to the heart/brain/lungs, because boobies are mostly fat, but it makes good pornArt.

  • @[email protected]
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    4 hours ago

    Hand scrubber wash. You know the hand soap/lotion thing full of beads to scrub your hands clean? Love that. I’d get in a tub of that.

  • Phenomephrene
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    107 hours ago

    Vanta Black

    I’m gambling that the experience of it would mitigate how much of a pain in the ass the repercussions would be.

    Edit: I suppose I ought to have looked before, but this appears to be not the healthiest decision (who’d have though‽). Maybe we’ll go with some kind of closest equivalent nontoxic paint?

    • @[email protected]OP
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      7 hours ago

      On the morbidly curious side of things, I do wonder what such a person looks like. You would just notice the eyes and the hair. Everything else would just be stark contrast.

      There’s also the whole, “went vanta black face” issue

      • @[email protected]
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        15 hours ago

        Vanta black face is only 2d racism.Which is a measurable amount, but incomparable to 3d racism.

  • @tehfishman
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    228 hours ago

    Oobleck for the experience. It wouldn’t clean you, but you’d have a story. Possibly mild regret if it’s in a bathtub that you need to clean or a house who’s plumbing you’re responsible for afterwards.