“Listen, your mon had a heatstroke. This isn’t a demonic attack. It’s common knowledge that this happens when doing hard work in extreme heat. I can’t be with someone who’s family believes that demons are behind common medical conditions. In other words: your family is insane and I can’t date you anymore. Bye”
There’s only one way: Anon should simulate fainting like the mom and then explain that god told them they have to break up.
Nothing pisses religious nutjobs more than telling them that God spoke to you and said you were holier than they are.
Speak it in Latin and claim you don’t know what Latin even is. Then use Google Translate like some time later and tell her.
If she ask any questions just say the usual, “God works in mysterious ways”, “maybe this is a test from God like in the book of Job”, or “are you questioning my faith or yours?”
I’d wake up and say “God says that he’s pissed that you keep doing dangerous stuff, and expecting Him to pull your sorry asses out of the fire. He says it ends now, and you’re on your own. If you pass out in the hot summer sun, you’re going to die, and your constant annoyances mean that your place in heaven is not secure. He’s not real thrilled about have to live in close proximity, whee you’ll be dropping by every day for coffee. He thinks Satan ought be able to settle y’all down a bit. Just something to think about…oh yeah, Sweetie? We’re over. Bye!”
I remember playing this 3 day LARP, the kind with pre-written in-depth characters and story that is played over 3 days strait in characeter, in Wierd Wild West setting, where I played a Trapper that was about to marry someone from the local village, my family was married into but my parents died shortly after.
It eventually turned out that the whole village is a cult that eats people to keep some kind of evil imprisoned, and my fiance’s family is the one spiritually leading it, and I still can’t forget the nights spent trying to reasonably argue and discuss with my fiance that it’s definitely not ok and we should just leave.
I obviously never had to have discussions like this in real life, but it was pretty interesting how extremely futile it is. They have so many arguments you can’t say anything against. Once they start with “But this is our purpose given to us by God, if we don’t do this the whole world will end”, or “It was God’s will, you will understand soon”, you really don’t have much to say to that to get through.
Of course, it was just a LARP and she played her character well, but now I can pretty vividly imagine that talking to someone who’s so much into anything like that is extremely difficult, to the point of being futile.
(I managed to convince her to leave, the winning argument was “Your grandmother tried to poison me, here is proof”, lol).
The thing with RPG worlds is, when the characters are saying these kinds of things there’s a good chance that this is actually and demonstrably how that RPG world works and they’re not just a bunch of grifters.
Oh, it was definitely how that world worked, and she played that role really well.
But, the experience (especially in multi-day nonstop LARPs, where you immerse into the world and your character really extensively) is pretty indistinguishable from real-life. At least in how you perceive it. For the few days, your life has these problems now. And you just accept it and get into it, and don’t even consider a difference between real and “imaginary” problems. It’s hard to describe, tbh.
I was not trying to imply that any of the involved people were grifters, I was mostly talking about the experience of being in a situation like that, where you have to actually talk to someone like that. I’m pretty sure that there wouldn’t be much of a difference between talking to someone who can roleplay well and has spend two days in their character, vs. talking to someone who spent most of their life being indoctrinated like this.
Or rather, the problem-solving part of it. I had literal days in that world to figure out how to approach this, what to say so it would work in that situation, how to argue with her. I didn’t come up with anything that would work, and things that I came up with were swiftly rebated by fanatic religious speeches. Just like she had a pretty easy time of coming up with arguments I couldn’t say much against, that would still be perfectly in-character, as she told me after the LARP.
EDIT: I may have misunderstood your comment, sorry :D. Yes, you are right, it was how the world worked - we did eventually all died because some kind of evil has been awakened, lol. But that doesn’t change anything about the experience of having to argue with someone who’s indoctrinated in a cult vs. you, who don’t believe in stuff like that. It’s difficult. From my point of view, they were grifters, because I had no indication of proof of what they are saying, so I did my best to figure out what to do or say, and I couldn’t come up with anything.
Oh, it’s too late for Anon. If he tries to leave her, the family will consider it a demon attack, and surround them both until they fuck in front of them. Then it’ll be brought up every thanksgiving.
I’d probably talk to the girl and see if she holds the same beliefs. She’s Christian, yes, but there are plenty of people raised in such families that use the term out of familiarity, but don’t share the extreme views of their parents.
Though with that said, even if the girl isn’t off the deep end, I’d understand that having her parents as potential in-laws could be a bridge too far.
Literally the same interaction between religion and reality as The Spirit Catches You And You Fall Down. Except without the language and cultural discontinuity.
As someone who grew up in a conservative, Baptist home, I can tell you that this 100% isn’t the most insane thing I’ve heard or seen, but it falls right in line.
When Anon breaks up with her they will claim he was a demon sent to test their faith.
Tell her you’re a demon sent to attack her vagina.
Hmm i don’t think demons would attack the most favoured by God. Or rather, not in that way - demons are supposed to be packaged up with every time that YOU sin, they can’t just randomly go “TURN EVIL! TURN EVIL! TURN EVIL!”
They can if you have a persecution fetish
Get on floor, walk the dinosaur
They don’t believe in dinosaurs though.
Get on the floor, walk the demonsaur
Heathens
I just asked if she really believes in all this. Answer was not really but you know, family ties and the community is nice.
Impossible challenge: have a greentext without it being about a ‘girl’
fake: anon talks to a girl
gay: self explanatorygirls are pretty neat tho
What about a grill?
There’s the one about a fan, but that’s also kind of about a girl
Christians shouldn’t be dating non Christians
It was called Missionary Dating when I was growing up in an incredibly religious family. The goal was to date a non-christian so you could convert them. Then you would be “equally yoked” before you got hitched. No joke.
Flirt to convert
Christians also aren’t supposed to engage in fornication, so you know. Expecting Christians in Western countries (don’t know about elsewhere) to follow their religion is generally futile.
Bell curve meme but it goes from very atheist to very christian rather than low IQ to high IQ
I think the epic Schwarzenegger high five one would be more fitting
