• @[email protected]
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    791 year ago

    Dog ownership is hearing a gag from the dead of sleep and launching out of bed to move the dog to the bathroom before she vomits on the carpet

    • Kioga
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      761 year ago

      This is also cat ownership. :(

      It’s hard getting back to sleep with all the adrenaline flowing.

      • @[email protected]
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        161 year ago

        I have a dust pan, like for sweeping, that I keep by the bed, I stick maxi pads to the flat part and use it to catch the barfs. Much easier than moving the horking cat.

        • Afghaniscran
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          201 year ago

          This only works if you don’t have a cat that turns his head at the last second to avoid the vomit catching device.

          • idunnololz
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            61 year ago

            Yeah why does my cat refuse to vomit on the floor and always does it on the carpet?!

            • Afghaniscran
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              31 year ago

              My only guess is that cats are disrespectful arseholes. That’s why I like them though.

      • danielbln
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        31 year ago

        Ours is polite enough to only ever hurl onto surfaces that are easily cleaned.

      • @ReiRose
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        11 year ago

        Is my cat broken? He doesn’t vomit.

      • @smackjack
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        11 year ago

        Just get yourself a carpet cleaner. Bissell makes some good ones.

    • PugJesus
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      201 year ago

      “HURP. HURP. HURP. HURP.”

      “OH JESUS CHRIST NO NO NO INTO THE KITCHEN PLEASE”

      • @Alteon
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        271 year ago

        We’ve got a husky that views this as a “middle of the night” snack. He hears that “Hurp, Hurp” sound and IMMEDIATELY runs over to where the cat is. Full run at 2am He wants to be the first to savor the delicious hair sausage.

    • ares35
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      51 year ago

      moments earlier, the cat hacked-up a hairball on the rug between the bed and bathroom for you to keep your feet warm with.

    • @xkforce
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      41 year ago

      This is also cat ownership

  • @paultimate14
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    401 year ago

    Butter Packaging: Keep Refrigerated

    Utterly deranged people: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that

    • Bonehead
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      111 year ago

      Small amounts of butter is perfectly fine to leave at room temperature…but only if it’s salted. Unsalted butter will grow mold quickly, but salt will inhibit mold growth for quite a while. Unfortunately exposure to light and oxygen will cause it to turn rancid after 2 days, but it’s technically still edible.

    • @samus12345
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      81 year ago

      Refrigerated butter: hard as a rock

    • @weariedfae
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      01 year ago

      If you keep it in a butter dish it’s completely fine.

  • @Limeey
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    141 year ago

    My cat is deaf and so you have to get up, EVERYTIME

  • 567PrimeMover
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    121 year ago

    Ours will jump onto the counter, and you can hear her because her back legs hit the cabinet door on her way up.

    She knows she’s being bad too, because I’d hear her jump, go pick her off the counter, and set her somewhere else. Now, I’ll go to get her and she’ll be sitting on the floor like “What? I wasn’t doing anything!”

  • @quinkin
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    121 year ago

    Parenting. It’s quiet… Too quiet.

  • @hakunawazo
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    1 year ago

    The preview looked promising ;)

    • @[email protected]
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      241 year ago

      Bulk butter lives in the fridge. This week’s butter lives on the counter in the dish designed for it, with the cover.

      • @doingthestuff
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        31 year ago

        Yes, the cover is essential, especially if you have a cat. Our winters are so cold here, even the butter on the counter isn’t at all soft.

    • @Maalus
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      161 year ago

      Yeah, so? A lot of people here do that, you don’t have to spread hard butter on soft bread. It doesn’t go bad because usually it’s eaten quickly and covered with a glass lid or something

      • @doingthestuff
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        31 year ago

        Also salted butter lasts longer on the counter than unsalted, and temperature is a factor. And salted butter makes delicious eggs!

    • @ReiRose
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      11 year ago

      Catflap on the fridge

  • ASeriesOfPoorChoices
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    61 year ago

    As your neighbour in the apartment complex, I hear this too often and I wonder.

    Just, out of blue. Completely quiet, then another butter fight.

    • @Caesium
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      41 year ago

      our cat knew there was butter under the lid so she tried to do the paw thing to like nudge it open

      but she just knocked it on the ground instead and broke the butter dish we had for 20+ years :(

  • @Emerald
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    11 year ago

    Image Transcription: Twitter Post


    they/themily, @e_davishale

    cat ownership is hearing a single soft *clink* from across the house and yelling GET AWAY FROM THE BUTTER

  • @[email protected]
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    01 year ago

    butter mixes with cat? how ODD! like gag me with a spoon odd dude.

    Far Out says this:

    Upon a Cats Meow what does you do?

  • @dlpkl
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    01 year ago

    The thought of having an animal that stands in it’s own shit, who then also walks on kitchen counters and beds and sofas, is disgusting.

    • @[email protected]
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      31 year ago

      You’ll never win, and you’ll never convince these people that their house smells like cat piss. Yes even if they clean it two times per day. No matter how often they clean the litter boxes - everyone who isn’t a cat owner can smell it.

    • danielbln
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      21 year ago

      I don’t know what animals you’ve had, but my cat cleans herself (including paws) pretty much right after leaving the litter box, and continues to clean herself all throughout the day.

      Wait until I’ll tell you what human children do with their hands before proceeding to put them all over the place.

      I bet your place looks like a Dexter kill room.

      • @dlpkl
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        -21 year ago

        Sorry what was that I didn’t hear you over the sound of THE PARASITE LIVING IN YOUR BRAIN THAT YOU GOT FROM YOUR CAT WALKING IN SHIT AND THEN WALKING ALL OVER YOUR FOOD.

          • @dlpkl
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            01 year ago

            That’s the toxoplasmosis speaking

            • @ReiRose
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              11 year ago

              I tested negative for toxoplasmosis :) I just love my abusive feline because I’m dumb. And feet beans are cute