• @[email protected]
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    16617 hours ago

    I know candid HD photography isn’t complimentary to a lot of people, but holy shit he looks like a fucking zombie.

    • Diplomjodler
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      10717 hours ago

      That’s pretty much what he is. That fucker is kept going by nothing but malice.

    • Aviandelight
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      1313 hours ago

      Maybe if they actually used mortuary cosmetics on him he might look more lifelike.

      • @BoxOfFeet
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        116 minutes ago

        Like Frank in the “Frank’s Little Beauties” episode. He just needs a song about not diddling kids.

      • @WaxedWookie
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        11 hour ago

        There’s no doubt that he would.

        The makeup would at least be competently applied, and I’ve got to assume less fluorescent with none of the screaming contrast against the sickly transparent, veiny white skin of an octogenarian fuelled by hamberders, covefe, and hate - particularly for kamabla.

      • @Makeitstop
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        5016 hours ago

        That’s not fair. Liches are smart and competent, and had to earn their position through hard work and dedication.

        • NielsBohron
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          913 hours ago

          Oh, now I have an idea for a new BBEG: A lich that got to their position by taking advantage of their privilege and refuses to acknowledge it.

          Definitely should be fully fleshed out (no pun intended) by flavoring with historical Trump actions like blaming minorities for everything (“that jogger was violently assaulted by these 5 goblins that simply happen to be nearby”), refusing to pay contractors for services rendered (“great job building my phylactery, it would be a shame if you got deported before I paid you”), using populist rhetoric to blame progressives for the problems caused by capitalism (“Minions, I know your wages are low, but it’s those adventurers fault for donating gold to the orphanage and causing all this inflation”). When he flees the adventurers, they could be slowed by a magical spell called “malicious litigation” that functions like a web spell on anyone who is not of noble birth.

          Minions could also include a ghoul as diplomatic envoy whose hair dye leaks and who accidentally books an event at Four Seasons Total Castle Care and several half-ogre sons who think they are going to inherit his lichdom but are too dumb to see they’re first on the chopping block when the chips are down.

          • @grue
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            47 hours ago

            Wait till you find out what vampires are an allegory for.