cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20091173

I’ve been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.

So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you’re unfamiliar with. It’s true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren’t only to be respected when you like the person you’re interacting with, or if their pronouns “make sense” to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn’t matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.

I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.

This isn’t a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it’s not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.

  • qazMEnglish
    18•1 day ago

    It’s fine by me, but I’m not sure how other moderators (or admins) feel about it

    • @Deestan
      33•1 day ago

      Not personally affected, but I saw someone instantly permabanned with reason “misgendering” for a comment talking about “drag”'s behavior but using “they”.

      Not warned. Not comment deleted with “please use pronoun at all times”. Just bam.

      If the general stance is that reaction can be “up to the admin”, that’s a bit… minefield-y.

      • qazMEnglish
        18•1 day ago

        If the general stance is that reaction can be “up to the admin”, that’s a bit… minefield-y.

        I understand that this might seem problematic. We (the mods of 196) are only partially in control of what is removed and who is banned, due it being hosted on blahaj.zone.

        • @Deestan
          10•1 day ago

          All good, thanks for explaining. :)

        • @[email protected]
          0•24 hours ago

          Lemmy.world admins are sociopaths mad with their own power, so that’s an awesome policy. This is why I block the whole shitty instance.

      • JackbyDevEnglish
        2•3 hours ago

        I’d have to see the comment and context to pass judgement, but I can see how a mod might see using “they” to refer to someone who doesn’t use “they” in a context about how that person doesn’t use “they” as intentional misgendering instead of accidental misgendering.

        • @Deestan
          1•4 hours ago

          Thanks. It was surprising to see it interpreted that way, especially given the context (talking about, not to, an obvious troll), but not a difficult rule to adhere to once it’s clear.

      • Ada
        -2•18 hours ago

        but I saw someone instantly permabanned with reason “misgendering” for a comment talking about “drag”'s behavior but using “they”.

        No you didn’t

        • @Deestan
          3•7 hours ago

          Why are you saying that?

          Just shitting on a discussion like that adds nothing.

          Or if you do know the comment in question I was referring to and I missed some context that wasn’t visible in the modlog, please let me know.

          • Ada
            3•2 hours ago

            I’m saying that, because I’m the instance admin, and I don’t permanently instance ban people for a singular comment using “they” in regards to someone who is explicitly ok with they…

            I have no idea which comment you were referring to, but I do know that your representation of what you saw is not what actually happened…