- cross-posted to:
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- [email protected]
- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- [email protected]
- nottheonion
this country is so fucking cool
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Cool. Let’s see the legislature’s browser histories.
My money says this guy can’t even close his closet door anymore for all the skeletons.
He’s in there with them.
Getting boned
Hi-oooooooo
Mr. Skelington? What are you doing to my dad?
Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, loves talking about his creepy spy app he and his son have on their phone that alerts the other if they visit naughty sites. So the writers of this proposal and all that vote for it would be happy to put the same program on their devices and computers, right? And tie that straight to a public feed we can all see? Great Great.
See when I read this story it isn’t really that bad.
They believe porn is bad and use the app to keep each other accountable. I don’t really have an issue with that. You do you.
But when they start trying to enforce that view through the government it’s obviously not okay.
Aside from it being creepy as hell to do that with your son (who probably didn’t have a say in the matter) this is a massive national security risk. Spyware on a Congress member’s phone? Not a great idea.
I’m imagining they have government issued phones and private phones. The government issued one for sure wouldn’t be allowed to have that shit on it.
That sounds reasonable and so it’s probably not even remotely close to what actually happens.
The craziest thing about the Hillary Clinton private email server was not that she had it, but that her predecessors also used private email for government stuff as Secretary of State. Not a one-off, but the norm. Absolutely nuts.
I severely doubt they can install it on government equipment.
Can you imagine that IT request?
“In having trouble installing this app on my phone. It’s so my phone can be remotely monitored to make sure I’m not looking at porn.”
“Could you just not try to look at porn on that phone?”
“Sir, you have a federal government IT department. Which federal agency do you want to tell your family if you watch porn? Don’t worry they already monitor your personal devices too.”
Do you think Congress has the digital literacy and self discipline to keep separate phones and actually keep business separate between them?
Wasn’t it just recently that a congressman was found hoarding gold bars? What phone do you think he negotiated those from?
“Putin needs to make sure I’m not watching gay porn.”
It’s creepy because it’s his son, and he clearly is only doing it to control his kid.
You think the dad doesn’t have a second device that’s dedicated to wanking?
How dare you demand him by suggesting he has a masturbation phone.
It’s a Grindr phone…
Which only feeds his toxicity as no one on Grindr wants anything to do with this PoS.
I don’t have a problem between 2 consenting adults but monitoring a parent is creepy and weird. It’s likely a case of him trying to set an example and prove he too is compliant, to his son, but it’s just weird.
Just watched the Duggar documentary. This is shit they “voluntarily” do. If you don’t, you’ll likely suffer the ire of the elders and people in power.
And, as we learned from that same documentary, it’s pretty easy to get around it. If that homeschooled sicko Josh can figure out how to partition his devices, I’m guessing plenty of others have figured it out, too.
I don’t have a problem with their abstaining from porn, having personal feelings about its value or morality, or even using each other to remain accountable. I do think it’s a little dumb to put spyware on your device intentionally and to share with your child when you accidentally fall to temptation exactly what sort of smut you enjoyed. But that’s all them. Not my problem.
As you said the problem is when you’re legislating to restrict others from something you have a personal issue with, particularly when that thing is completely personal. So if they’re going to butt their way into the personal habits or desires of the general public, surely they have no problem sharing their own habits and desires with the public in return. And, in real time. I want to see what senators are jerking it to on their potty break during session.
Sure, you do you, but it’s still fucking weird.
Most people are weird.
Yes but there are varying degrees. This is way out there.
creepy spy app
The only thing that spy app is making them do, is hiding a second phone from everyone. Guarantee it.
pubic feed
hehe
Oops, a Freudian
Giant Cock In My Ass.Slip.
That’s why this will never pass.
It’s just virtue signalling from whoever is introducing it.
They’ll be exempt, obviously.
I’m sorry, I didn’t know we lived under Sharia Law.
It’s hilarious and ironic that Christian nationalists hate sharia law whilst wanting their own brand enacted.
They don’t hate sharia law because it’s abhorrent. They hate sharia law because it’s not Christian based.
But the differences are slight. Maybe won’t go as far down the oppression of women rabbit hole, but not for lack of trying. Merely because, I hope, our society is to far past that for them to drag us back that far.
Merely because, I hope, our society is to far past that for them to drag us back that far.
These women in Iran just before the Islamic Revolution in 1979 probably thought they were too far past it, too.
And guess which country caused that revolution…
Iran. Even if the British and American interference was abhorrent, an Islamic Fascist state wasn’t the only alternative they had.
Putting all the agency (and therefore responsibility) in imperial powers is also a form of imperialism.
Iran caused that revolution. They were fed up with a leader seen as a western puppet so they replaced him with religious extremist.
Everyone says “that’ll never happen” and then it does.
Inaction means suffering. Apathy is death.
Tomayto/tomahto, sharia/christo-fascist. Different pronunciations of the same thing.
Simple FYI… it should be just “Sharia”. Not “Sharia law”.
We aren’t speaking Arabian. It’s like “naan bread”, sure, naan means bread but not in this language and we’ve lots of other breads…If you just say Rye a Canadian will hand you a glass of whisky not a loaf of bread.
The language is called Arabic, but otherwise agree
Quiet, you, or I’ll start responding in Italic
People know what Sharia is referring. If not, they’re not worth a conversation.
That’s still a bad example. We don’t say that “I drive a XYZ car” since car is implied and we can just say “I drive a XYZ”
Check with any XYZ standing for a manufacturer like Toyota, Tesla or a model like Corolla, 911, etc.
If there’s enough understanding of the concept, no need for clarification. Everyone knows naan is a bread. Unless you are asking a question in Japanese, just drop the bread (and law for Sharia)
I drive a chevy truck
🤔
Sex dick? Really Oklahoma? Are you guys OK?
They want to ban porn because it might tempt those who desperately want to be one of the straights.
But seriously, that congressman is so scared of being gay that they want everyone else to give up porn so they won’t be challenged by easy dick.
I’m switching my VPN server to Oklahoma before my next wank.
Idk I’m more concerned about Minnesota with tickling
It’s the most polite form of sadism dontchaknow.
It’s… demented
Really living up to the shape of the state borders
Those poor, lonely Alaskans.
I like that of all the states, Hawaii and Utah remain on-brand.
It’s almost wholesome in a pornhub sort of way
Nevada too
The Dakotas sure are a pair.
It’s so dry there. They crave moisture.
So lonely they can’t even imagine porn with two human beings in it 😭
I’m in Wyoming. There’s only ten of us here. The goth search was mine. The rest didn’t bother with PornHub after I explained that “bear sex” wasn’t going to give them the result they were expecting.
Idaho’s “dildo ride” absolutely tracks. I have been wearing a Bad Dragon cap for weeks (it’s an amazing hat) and it was a ~50 year old woman on the Idaho side of the mountain who recognized the logo.
EDIT: I am not joking. The caps are sick.
Damn, that IS a killer hat. Almost tempted to get one myself. But having no other actual affiliation with BD, it would make things super, super awkward once someone actually recognizes the logo.
Just smile, wink and walk away. I don’t own any of their proper products but I wasn’t going to pass up on a hat that nice, at that price.
I mean it can get them the result they’re expecting if they use the furry tag.
I am a guy whose proclivities are such that I’m probably never using a Bad Dragon. Still, I need this hat.
Same. Got the all black hat though.
Lmao.
Sex dick.
Also, damn Arkansas. You nasty.
I’m proud to represent Illinois instead!
Florida finally gets a break. Unless the fantasy is involving both Oaklahoma and Arkansas.
Arkansas can get a pass given what Tennessee is doing.
Nudist for Oregon and Sensual Sex for Washington make the PNW seem so wholesome and well adjusted. I wonder what BC is.
Sex dick. Jk it’s apparently Asian, here’s the link for canada (NSFW obviously)
“Nova Scotia likes “facesitting”.”
Welp, I won’t be watching Oak Island the same way again…
I live in Oregon. You get neo-hippies or neo-Nazis, no in-between.
Portland sounds both awesome and awful at the same time. Like there was a rebellion during the BLM protests where they took over some city blocks, which is cool. But things were bad enough that they caused a rebellion during the BLM protests where they took over some city blocks, which isn’t very cool.
Hawaii: Hawaiian.
So they’re just walking around with their kink/preference in their faces all day? Sweeeeeeet.
Only about 21% of the Hawaiian population is actually native Hawaiians.
Wasn’t it recently that we hit the mark where more native Hawaiians were living outside of Hawaii than were on the islands? It’s sad how the way their economy and obviously real estate is set up makes it difficult to live on the islands.
*Sees people in Indiana search for ‘chubby.’*
*Looks around.*
Yep, that tracks.
Is the car sex in Arizona because it’s taboo to touch anything on the inside of a car in the summer? Like instead of the thrill of maybe getting caught that exhibitionists get, it’s the danger of accidentally burning yourself on the metal clasp of a seat belt?
Having lived there I will call that “plausible”
The inside of a car in Arizona is so hot!
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Texans like sausage gravy all over some biscuits.
Wtf North Dakota. I refuse to believe there are multiple people up there typing “loud wet sex” into their search bars.
Classic Ohio
Shout out to Colorado. I’m wondering why Ohio’s is “small dick” lol.
I live in CO and a guy once (well, several times for months) told me I should be a dominatrix, not realizing my disdain was mostly exclusive to him, not men in general, but now I’m thinking I missed out on a lucrative career option. Well dang.
Is it ever too late to cash in on being a dominatrix?
No, I’m asking for real; I have no idea.
I’m not actually sure, but I’ll be 40 this year and I’m tired. I think I’d just end up being like, “yeah you were super bad, disobeying me and shit, your punishment is to fold the 4 loads of laundry I haven’t dealt with this week.” Also, there are a lot of things that can be dangerous in the hands of an amateur, and while I’m not opposed to hurting someone who wants it, I wouldn’t feel comfortable until I’d done a lot of training and practice, and ehhhh. I’d rather do other things these days.
@agent_flounder @frickineh I knew someone who made real good money running a dungeon. It was legal because there was no sex involved. Just guys willing to fork over money so they could be abused.
Considering the popularity of “dommy mommies” I imagine older women are accepted in those circles.
Lmao @ big ass cop in DC
I respect you, North Dakota
You know what, New Mexico, not gonna tease you, you’ve got a high native population and it probably does suck rarely seeing folks that look like you in porn. Same for you Hawaii.
Actually I feel like in a less sympathetic way Indiana gets the same treatment.
What about Ohio?
I can’t speak on Ohio. Most of the women I’ve slept with here that had one had a big one.
What the fuck is going on in Tennessee and Ohio?
…Smoking?
It’s a fetish. Some people enjoy seeing someone smoke while fucking and some people actually enjoy smoke being blown on them.
Virginia is also a giant tobacco producer.
https://encyclopediavirginia.org/entries/tobacco-in-colonial-virginia/
Actually looking at their other stats are shocking. Like I’m actually really surprised with how much lesbian content blows other searches out of the water women are significantly more likely to search it than men. Same for trans porn.
Also props to milfs for being the number 2 search term. Mom bods really are having their day
That guy watches so much porn
I don’t want to engage in slander, but just extrapolating from previous conservative projection, that guy has a 15 year-old Honduran boy chained in his laundry room.
15? A bit old for a guy like him, isn’t he?
😞 I really hope not. That’d be so horrible, yet the possibility lingers.
Let’s take bets on who’s getting caught first! Drag queens or some god-fearing dude??
Don’t pretend for a second itll actually be enforced against the in group
Everyone involved in pushing this law should be barred from working in government, and fined for wasting our time.
Just let them pass it then search their browser history. You know the only reason they’re so concerned about it is they’re ball’s deep into it.
“Balls deep” is sexting. I’ve called the police!
I wish I didn’t live in my COMMUNIST blue state where I can freely watch porn, read books, receive healthcare, feed hungry kids, breath clean air, turn around in driveways without getting shot and an abortion if I or my 10 year old daughter gets RAPED! I would MUCH rather live in a Red State where it’s only legal to shoot homeless people, go to church and breath fumes from the coal plant next door unless it gets too cold and I freeze to death!
I agree with most of this, but don’t act like your healthcare is enough if you live in the US.
My healthcare is though, it’s just ridiculously expensive
This guy is nuttier than squirrel shit. Total christofascist.
https://x.com/DustyDeevers/status/1734792445789884779?s=20
Besides banning porn, he wants to ban no-fault divorce, and ban abortion with no exceptions. He called COVID vaccines a"mark of the beast", called for the jailing of Fauci, and the virus was engineering by Bill Gates to decrease population.
Please consider posting Nitter links, so it doesn’t give Musk a single cent in advertising by using privacy focused Nitter: https://nitter.net/DustyDeevers/status/1734792445789884779
Didn’t know that was a thing. Thanks!
I gotta say one “good” thing about Xitter being so stupid is that I don’t doomscroll the site like I did when I was on. While I’m glad that Nitter exists because we need to keep an eye out for crazy, anyone who wants to avoid doomscrolling and losing brain cells might want to skip that link for their mental health’s sake.
FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOM 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟
Small government right?
Small enough to sneak into people’s private lives.
Funny how they paint the Muslim theocracy as the devil and proceed to do exactly the same without any of them batting an eye
If it wasn’t for the whole “brown people” thing, a LOT of folks in the US would love to do Sharia Law.
Gotta keep the competition at bay.
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Taking bets on how long it takes (not if, but when) this man is hacked and found to be absorbed in the exact thing he’s trying to ban.
mmmm, smells like freedom
Ah yes, the party of small government strokes again
strokes
Not if this law passes.
Rules for thee and not for me
Notice they’re leaning in on law and order
What is wrong with Americans?
a brand of conservatism driven by religion
People think the religion is fundamentalist Christianity, but actually the religion is unchecked consumerism.
Well it’s whatever serves best at the moment ^^
They write articles about a bill some whacko proposed that has no chance of passing (and would be struck down in 5 minutes on first amendment grounds of it did) and pearl clutchers act like it’s the end of the world. Have you seen The People vs Larry Flint? That took place 60 years ago. This shit is nothing new.
The whacko still found his way into that position.
There’s 47 state senators in Oklahoma. You’re bound to get a stinker every now and then.
47/4000,000, not all that many realistically. You’d think you could find 47 sane people.
I think you’d struggle to find 47 sane people who want to work in state government
a bill some whacko proposed that has no chance of passing
A lot of the craziest shit in the lawbooks were things some whacko proposed “that has no chance of passing”.
and would be struck down in 5 minutes on first amendment grounds of it did
Current SCOTUS precedent is that the First Amendment does not protect porn if it contains “obscenity”. Specifically, any porn can be banned if it:
- Makes people uneasy
- Includes offensive sexual conduct - as decided by state law (?!?)
- “lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value”
It’s called the Miller Test
Notice the wording used in the proposed law. It’s already been pre-considered to have a solid chance of surviving a SCOTUS appeal. And the current SCOTUS wouldn’t dream of overriding Conservative jurisprudence.
pearl clutchers act like it’s the end of the world
Unfortunately, this is the type of anti-reactionary discussion that led to us being genuinely surprised when Roe v Wade got overturned. Clarence Thomas used the opportunity to signal that he would like to overturn Obergefell and Griswold as well. And he 100% has Barrett on his side and almost certainly has Kavanaugh. That means all he has to do is elbow Gorsuch and suck off Roberts and porn (and sex toys) could be illegal in some states, working towards a federal ban.
led to us being genuinely surprised when Roe v Wade got overturned.
Speak for yourself. I was not surprised when roe v wade was overturned, in fact I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did. The court invented a right that they wanted to be there and declared it had been there all along. That is not the judicial branch’s job. Roe v wade should have been replaced with a law, drafted by legislators, by like 1976. 50 years of Democrats dropped the ball on this and now innocent women are paying the price.
The court invented a right that they wanted to be there and declared it had been there all along
…here we go again. I feel like people bring this up without understanding it all the time. The Fundamental Right to Privacy used in Roe comes from Griswold, and is (and was) an absolutely defensible interpretation of the Constitution. Much of our jurisprudence comes from Common Law and Reading Between the Lines (which is different from inventing a right from scratch). If you have a right to do A and a right to do B, there is absolutely an argument that you have a right to do A#.
More importantly, DOBBS AGREED. They just said “There is a right to privacy, but fetuses are special. Bubye Roe”.
Roe v wade should have been replaced with a law, drafted by legislators, by like 1976
…which SCOTUS could easily decide is Federal overreach. A lot of people have argued with me (convincingly) that the best foundations of such a law are still not unassailable. The argument that the Constitution allows the federal government to protect abortion is just weaker than the argument that the Constitution inherently protects abortion.
50 years of Democrats dropped the ball on this and now innocent women are paying the price
Roe was decided by a largely pro-life conservative Judiciary, and the Right to Privacy was the weaker of two protections behind a clear 14th Amendment protection. Passing a law protecting abortion in 1976 is like passing a law protecting the right to Pray in your own home, or a law that forbids prosecutors from executing suspects during the arraignment. This is one of those things we really cannot justify blaming the Democrats for.
Well I don’t agree with you, but damned if you didn’t make a solid argument.
Sorry I started with “here we go again”. In retrospect, it’s not fair to treat a person who makes an argument like they are the argument itself.
It’s very common that I hear the “invented a right” complaint for Roe. There are a lot of valid criticisms for how jurisprudence works in America, but none of those valid criticisms started with Roe. Arguably they didn’t even fully start with Griswold, but the specific one in Roe did. People also often bring up Justice Ginsburg’s distaste for Roe. What they don’t understand (or conveniently forget) is that she was overridden in her 14th Amendment assertions by Justices that could be described as “Pro-life”, who came up with perhaps the most anti-choice interpretation of the Constitution as it was seen at that time. The “shaky ground” people talk about wasn’t Roe, but that Roe intentionally left a ton of room for states to add so-called “reasonable restrictions” on abortion, the kinds of restrictions the federal government would really struggle to justify limiting. If Oklahoma has a 3rd Trimester ban, get the abortion earlier or drive to a state without said ban. So long as they didn’t ban leaving the state to get an abortion, there’s not much for the federal government to write a law on.
Gen z, millennials, and The Gays. /S.
Edit: sorry I forgot the The Blacks, and Hunter Bidens Laptop.
Y’all Qaeda
This is like… Middle East religion police stuff.
So what do you think? How many of the politicians pushing for this are sexting with children?
