radishnt

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

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mothman-misato

y- you were putting it in cold water???

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boimgfrog

Radish. Answer the question radish.

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radishnt

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

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boimgfrog

#u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ???

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

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catsnraincoats

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf???” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

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boimgfrog

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

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catsnraincoats

Its takes less than a minute

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boimgfrog

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

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catsnraincoats

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

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boimgfrog

Like seven minutes

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catsnraincoats

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes
 less than that is u use a saucepan


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boimgfrog

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ??? On medium heat??? Ur stove is enchanted

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pidoop

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

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silverjirachi

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

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wizardlyghost

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS’N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff’rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS’N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS’N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS’N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS’N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS’N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev’ry single person in this group

must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

  • @[email protected]OP
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    264‱
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    2 months ago

    Guys this took me way too long to transcribe but I could not go without posting it. wizardlyghost wrote that shit in iambic pentameter. This is the first time I’ve ever seen someone use iambic pentameter when imitating Shakespeare, and they did it fucking flawlessly

    ETA Y’all magpiecrown illustrated this and it’s the best

    • Ashen44
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      56‱2 months ago

      I greatly appreciate you posting this. That was extremely impressive and absolutely hilarious!

    • Zagorath
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      51‱2 months ago

      I act’ly think they may have done better
      Than William Shakespeare often did himself.

      His lines are full of near approximates
      Of perfect iambic pentameter.

    • @[email protected]
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      5‱2 months ago

      Delightful. I love how catsnraincoats speaks through their phone, like they have to translate from meows or something rofl

  • Zagorath
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    119‱2 months ago

    To be honest I would use the microwave before I’d use the stove. Stove takes ages because it has to heat up the bottom of the mug before it actually starts transferring into the water.

    But holy shit guys. Kettles are literally designed for this purpose.

      • Zagorath
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        22‱2 months ago

        Fuck yeah. Love me a @[email protected] vid. As a non-American, before I first saw that one, I didn’t even know microwaving water was a thing Americans did.

        But since seeing it, I now actually use my kettle to boil water for other purposes, like cooking pasta, too. It’s great. Both much faster, and also uses less water than my old method, which was pouring hot water out of my kitchen tap (which required waiting a long time and a lot of wasted cold water for the hot water to get through the pipes from the water heater to my kitchen), then pouring that into a pot, then putting the pot on the stove and bringing it the rest of the way to the boil.

        • @grue
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          17‱2 months ago

          On one hand that thing is cool, on the other hand I don’t want to have to memorize a fucking Konami code to get it to dispense the right kind of liquid.

          • @[email protected]
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            4‱2 months ago

            It’s just pushing and turning. There’s no buttons on it or anything.

            I have one (though only for boiling water, not cold/filtered) and it’s really not difficult or complicated. I have friends with kids who have one and they know how to use it.

      • Flying Squid
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        6‱2 months ago

        This American uses an electric kettle. (Granted, I first had to use one in the UK to understand its glory.)

      • @[email protected]
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        5‱2 months ago

        Y’all catching up on kettles like it’s 1995 instead of getting your boiling water directly from the tap 😂

    • @[email protected]
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      11‱2 months ago

      I used to use the microwave because I was a kid and my family didnt have one of those fancy electric kettles. But then I moved to Ireland and never again can I live without one.

    • @[email protected]
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      5‱2 months ago

      My microwave takes 80s, my kettle takes at least double that.

      I use the kettle a lot for pre-boiling water for soups far more than using it for tea, unless I’m making 2+ cups.

      • Zagorath
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        5‱2 months ago

        Honestly some comments I saw made me think people were actually doing that, yeah.

        But me? No. Like I said, I use a kettle, that’s what it’s designed for.

        I did used to boil a pot of water on my stove, for things like cooking pasta. But these days I even boil that in my kettle before transferring it to the pot.

        • @Maggoty
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          3‱2 months ago

          I am decades old. And I just figured out I could use my kettle to boil pasta water faster.

  • Ixoid
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    62‱2 months ago

    That was a hell of a read. Both times.

  • @aeronmelon
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    60‱2 months ago

    “Boil by nuke?”

    I almost disturbed an entire hospital waiting room.

  • @CptEnder
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    54‱2 months ago

    This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read. The king at the end sent me

  • teft
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    43‱2 months ago

    I went in thinking no way would I think these people could all be lunatics. I was wrong.

  • Pharmacokinetics
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    34‱2 months ago

    In a British accent: “Do none of you own a fucking kettle!?”

    • @[email protected]
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      7‱2 months ago

      They’re probably americans (doesn’t matter which flavour), their kettles are low powered because of that low 120V mains and not wanting to spend more on thicker wires.

      • @[email protected]
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        4‱2 months ago

        Thick wires? If we don’t make new construction out of 100% “builder’s grade” trash, how will developers pocket as much money?

      • Iron Lynx
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        3‱2 months ago

        Even on 120V, countertop kettles are still faster than stovetop. They’re quite popular in Canada, and the most likely reason they’re not popular in The States is probably because The States drink less tea.

        Relevant Technology Connections

      • @Wilzax
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        2‱2 months ago

        We use 240V mains with 120V wiring options for in-home outlets and 240V sockets reserved for larger appliances, in order to reduce the risk of sparking.

        • @[email protected]
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          2‱2 months ago

          Europe uses 230V as regular mains and 400V for larger applications, no sparking problems, maybe get some better sockets.

    • @AngryCommieKender
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      2‱2 months ago

      The Chinese and Japanese would be appalled at what these tea hethans are up to

    • @brygphilomena
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      10‱2 months ago

      We always did sun tea. Tea bags in cold water, then placed in the sun to heat up that way. Which could get quite warm in the summer sun.

    • @mojofrododojo
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      8‱2 months ago

      I wonder how different it tastes; even when making iced tea, I still use water from the hot spout (instant hot water from a small spout on the sink) to ‘brew’ the tea. Might have to try this but I don’t want to toss out a jug of tea lol

  • strawberry
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    25‱2 months ago

    omg I’ve naver seen this with the Shakespeare part

    absolute work of art

    • @GroundedGator
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      17‱2 months ago

      I’ve barely had my morning potion, almost shopped for a 3 phase kettle thinking it was some new tech. Then I realized it was the wiring being referenced.

      • @[email protected]
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        15‱2 months ago
        • GRAB!
        • FILL!
        • BOIL!

        There you go, every kettle is a three phase kettle if you’re in marketing.

    • @[email protected]
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      9‱2 months ago

      Yeah, right. 230V, 15A kettle here, but a three phase kettle? Yes please.

      Although I think, that the US don’t lay three phases into private residences. Only some kind of 180° 2phase stuff from a split transformer which they then call “240V” or something.

      Dunno, three phase, 400V, 100A service here at almost no extra cost (600€ or so when I built the place) and I’ve got 63kW available all throughout the house if I need it. I’m so ready for a three phase kettle.

      • @skyspydude1
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        13‱2 months ago

        3 phase is exceptionally rare in the US unless you’ve got a workshop or something, and even then some utilities will charge tens of thousands to run it.

        240V 200A service is the norm in most modern homes now, so the disparity really isn’t a big deal. Something that people rarely point out is that we do have standards for 16A 240V plugs, they’re just exceptionally rare. The cool thing is that because of the way our split phase system works, you literally just have to move a single wire and swap the breaker, and you can convert an outlet to 240V, assuming you also change the outlet to the 240V type so you don’t accidentally fry something.

        It’s kind of annoying that we never adopted some system where say, garages and kitchens were wired to have low amperage plugs with both voltages. I have a German friend that swapped a section of outlets in his house to 240V so he can use a bunch of his imported appliances, and it works great.

        • @[email protected]
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          8‱2 months ago

          It really is strange in the US how we have only utilized 240V for large appliances. It’s taken the power appetite of EVs to make extra 240V outlets start to be a thing.

        • @[email protected]
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          4‱2 months ago

          Fortunately, I have 220V (240V?) in my garage because the previous owner was a carpenter and needed the additional power draw. I think everything is also on a 20A circuit, so that’s nice as well.

          However, I don’t really want to run a tea kettle in my garage


    • teft
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      2‱2 months ago

      The radar unit i was stationed with had 3 phase generators for the radar. When we plugged a kettle in it heated up so fast. Loved it for my cup of noodles.

    • @[email protected]
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      2‱2 months ago

      That’s hilarious. Although i am a Bit disappointed that it seems quite impossible to write a script that actually tells a story since all the characters will end up doing is describing each other