The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it’s left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand. </s>
Remove the /s, you are right and the commenter was ignorant of traditional American etiquette.
Can’t I be both right and sarcastic?
The best kind of sarcasm is right.
No, left side is correct for the breakfast gun.
A gun that size isn’t actually big enough for situations where you need a gun, it’s just meant to provide cover fire while you get a bigger better gun. You’ll be using your left hand to fire the cover gun, so that your right hand is available for picking up the bigger gun. This has the additional benefit of leaving your dominant hand free to eat with.
The correct answer, as they say, is always in the comments
You can drop a grown man or big game with a .22! Take lessons or give up the gun.
Serial number is on the other side so it’s that way for the picture.
Also, “lying”. “Lay” means “to recline”.
This picture is distinctly lacking in ultraprocessed sugary cereal and/or shelf-stable pastries.
Yeah, plus the cholesterol medication. Bonus points if the mobility chair is within sight.
They’re American. They can’t afford cholesterol medication.
No I haven’t eaten cereal or processed breakfast foods in decades. Just give me the eggs, bacon, sausage, toast with lots of butter and cheese. Where the fuck is the cheese?
Bacon is a processed food. A tasty one.
In a spray can somewhere
Don’t go talking like that near Wisconsin.
Well according to commercials from the 80s when I was a kid that’s part of a balanced breakfast.
Half the bacon is candy and the bread is a cake.
Shelf-stable pastries just never stops being an alarming phrase
One egg!? I’m sorry is this the USSR?
On its own single egg plate. So fancy
A real American would put the multiple eggs on top of the bacon
Close, but no, this is USSA. You missed by 4 kilometers.
Kilomet-🤢
For all times, for all people
Oh, wow! I am using that in political chats, given our current political climate.
Can you translate that to freedom units 💪?
No, this is clearly someone originally from Quebec. Because there, one egg is un ouef.
You mean USSA? Well the corruption is comparable.
You mean beaurocracy and nepotism? Because in USSR there were no traditional corruption because having money was not enough to get anything you want. Usually there was problem of not having enough stuff to spend money on.
AuthLeft: be fortunate you get the one egg
Not Our egg!
It used to be, but at this point in history, that’s like $300 worth of bacon.
From experience that is about $20-30.
Only one way to resolve this dispute: gentlemen, to your respective breakfast guns.
Ok, but can’t we just cook $300 worth of bacon and find out who is right and have enough bacon to stop my heart instead?
There’s not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where’s the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren’t savages.
Are you crazy? The safety will be on, clip in.
This is going to get so Florida, so I’m sorry. Most of the people I know who carry daily carry guns without safeties, so that just wouldn’t work. Also, it’s literally a mark of distinction between “responsible gun owners” and irresponsible ones that before the alcohol comes out all the guns are made conspicuously safe, unless the person is a designated non drinker. They would take on the unspoken responsibility of being armed and vigilant for the rest of the group. This will happen discreetly in mixed company, but likely conspicuously if everyone present carries a gun.
And anyone committing the faux pas of calling a magazine a clip would get a polite correction, and if repeated they wouldn’t be invited next time.
Army here. After getting out, it took me a VERY long time and a lot of mental struggle to start calling magazines “clips” in passing conversation, just to troll everyone at the range.
The toast is wrong for Florida though, we’d have Cuban bread.
The bacon though - we went to La Teresita here for breakfast, my kids ordered bacon and they brought them a whole bowl full of bacon to share.
They glory in the bounty of food. I went to a Cuban restaurant with a friend who was vegetarian. The staff just flat couldn’t understand the concept. Why wouldn’t you eat meat if it was available?
Constantokra? Could you have a word with my okra plants? They have not flowered yet, are flourishing in the heat but no okra. I planted fewer because in years past we couldn’t keep up with them, but this year they hesitate? We want constant okra.
Everyone wants constantokra, but only a select few can achieve it.
deleted by creator
I went to edit the post and fat-finger deleted it. Basically I said I’m not that far from Florida and regional differences are wild. More than that, but I just finished dinner after a brisk walk in not-as-hot but thick-with-humidity-and-mosquitos air and I’m going to be lazy while I enjoy cold water.
Sorry but toast is made from bread. That there would be legally called cake in large swathes of the planet
No it wouldn’t.
Even in France, arguably the biggest of the bread snobs, they call American style white bread: pain de mie (soft bread) and they call it pain grillé (toasted bread).
This is just standard regular sliced bread.
Actually American stuff is illegal in the EU, preservatives, bleaches, dyes, whatnot. What’s allowed to be called what will differ from country to country and you are not the biggest bread snobs, you’re just the most vocally snobbish.
In Germany there’s Toastbrot, actual bread though noone in their right mind would eat it without toasting first, then bigger and thicker and fluffier slices which are considered an “American-style” style of toast (again: don’t eat them raw ewww) but as said not the real deal. Those latter ones may or may not be legally bread, it’s usually hidden in the fine print while the big print is “sandwich slices” or something. Thing is the stuff needs to be made from 90% flour, sugar+fat together max 10%, and if you want something that’s recognisable to Americans as bread you need to blow that limit.
Oh and all are bound to use a proper sourdough process, over-engineered as it may be in an industrial setting they’re giving the dough enough time to actually pre-digest itself.
I actually looked this up; wonderbread has 2.5 grams of sugar per 30g slice!
Fuckin hell
The worst offender I could find in France was Harry’s American bread. 1.2 grams of sugar per 40g slice
In Ireland, if bread has more than 2 grams of sugar per 100g, it’s cake and is taxed as such
No, we’re talking America here. That’s not nearly enough butter. It needs to cover basically the whole face of the toast.
Unironically yes.
Indeed, as an American I feel it would only be exaggeration if the whole face of the toast was covered in so much butter that it’s white.
Why wouldn’t you want butter over the whole face of the toast? What kind of monster are you?
The kind of monster who toasts my toast on the lowest setting, but still uses a full coat of butter.
I was thinking the opposite: who needs the: toast, egg, or plates underneath - the coffee is mandatory though. Bacon on a paper towel needs less clean-up afterwards. :-P
The Breakfast Gun goes on whichever side the diner’s firing hand is.
Edits below!
After some discussion and reflection, I agree with @[email protected] that the Breakfast Gun would indeed go on the left, “to show you plan for a peaceful meal.”
Furthermore, presentation of Firearms depends on the level of dining:
At a polite table, guests are expected to lay their Meal Arms down holstered, so as not to soil the table linens. Placing a Meal Arm directly on the tablecloth is a sign of disrespect.
At a formal table, a Firearm Napkin will be provided for each diner. This allows diners to display their Meal Arms openly without soiling the linens.
At a “high table,” Meal Arms will be provided by the host. These Arms, while fully functional, are adorned with many engravings and flourishes, as a demonstration of the host’s status, and the diner’s status as a guest at the table.
Real shooters can shoot with both hands.
What’s this gif from? I NEED to watch this movie.
Kopps (Sweden 2003)
Sweden?! I was so sure that was gonna be Bollywood…!
Having seen it, I have to say that it’s inspired by India.
It’s not a very good movie, but it has those scenes.
Clearly it’s from Holy Wood.
Awesome, thanks.
I stand corrected.
It goes on the opposite side to show you plan for a peaceful meal.
Now that’s etiquette.
That isn’t an ambidextrous gun, so it belongs on the right.
Wait … I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ’ What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have ~ Ron Swanson
Ron, holding two cartons of eggs: “Is this all the eggs we have?”
Donna: “Yes. What are you making?”
Ron: “Eggs.”
Ok, first off…I usually have two eggs.
Second, it is with my Sig p365
So…checkmate!
Also, there’s only one starch. We have potatoes with our toast.
Three eggs. But yes. Sig P365.
I think it’s a 226?
Fork goes on the left; each has four letters.
Spoon and knife go on the right; each has five letters.
Gun goes… on top?
Gun goes on hip so that you don’t need to train on drawing while eating breakfast separately from training on drawing while doing anything else while sitting.
Gun goes on lap so when someone sits across from you and gets mouthy, you can shoot them in the dick.
Butters stop shooting people in the dick!
At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It’s considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.
That’s the ceremonical gun, the actual one is under the belt pointing at the owner’s testicles.
Safety off. Only protection is the hefty FUPA obscuring the weapon from sight
Have you seen the trigger “safety” on a Glock? Yeah I don’t have a safety on any of the guns I carry. Only one of them is a Glock, but that’s the closest to a safety any of them have.
Ya gotta do a desk pop.
Close. I keep a little league aluminum baseball bat handy for those rude individuals that like to interrupt my peaceful breakfast.
This is why I have a suppressor on my breakfast gun
Si vis pacem, para baseball bat
Muy verdades
It goes on whichever side your dominant hand is. Also, in the picture it’s flipped the wrong way: Handle goes out so you can pick it up easily for when you need to dispense freedom seeds.
Also^2, the coffee should be black.
I was gonna upvote you for the first paragraph, but had to rescind it for the second.
Black coffee best coffee and I’ll stand by that statement.
I assume you eat dry cereal without milk too, like an serial killer.
Nope, milk is fine in cereal.
Coffee black. Cereal with yogurt or heavy cream.
No donut?
That’s probably second breakfast.
Uh… Why is there only one egg?
It’s a light breakfast. It’d be a skillet if it was a full breakfast, with a stack of pancakes if it was a Sunday.
