• @cymbal_king
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    1582 months ago

    Easy, buy up a bunch of land for conservation

    • @[email protected]
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      552 months ago

      Buy $20 for $100 million. If you can “buy” nft’s then Idk why you can’t buy something with less value.

      • @Blue_Morpho
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        472 months ago

        The $20 bill has a unique serial number just like the nft.

      • @Viking_Hippie
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        282 months ago

        If you can “buy” nft’s then Idk why you can’t buy something with less value.

        I’ll tell you why: because there’s nothing with less value than an nft.

        • @[email protected]
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          72 months ago

          I just remember the day, as a software dev with a solid understanding of Blockchain, my older dev neighbor started explaining how NFTs worked

          I thought he was confused or stupid or something.

          “Wait, so like you have these super rare images, proof you own it on a Blockchain, and a link to the place they’re all publicly hosted?”

          Him: “Yep”

          “And the only use for these right now is as a profile picture?”

          Him: Shrug, “yeah, people use them for discord and stuff”

          “But… Couldn’t you just download the image and use it anyways?”

          Him: “Yeah, it’s all publicly hosted”

          And it was about then my brain locked up. I did multiple hours of research later, sure I had to be missing something

      • @danc4498
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        22 months ago

        i believe the IRS would consider this a gift.

    • @[email protected]
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      272 months ago

      Property can take a while to close — offer to title in under 30 days is on the quick side.

      Of course, you could probably close very fast if you offered 100M cash on a 10M property…

      • @Baphomet_The_Blasphemer
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        212 months ago

        If you’re buying vacant land and paying cash, you can close really quickly as there’s nothing in need of inspection, and loan processing times aren’t a factor… I have a buddy who just purchased 100+ acres of vacant land from a logging company. He paid cash and was able to close in just a few weeks.

        • @Omgpwnies
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          52 months ago

          yeah, usually closing time is just buffer time for people to get their affairs in order, move out, inspections, lawyer stuff, etc. If you offer straight up cash and pay a boatload to the lawyers to get the paperwork done up ASAP, you can close likely within a couple weeks

    • @[email protected]
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      142 months ago

      In “Bewster’s Millions” he also had to have nothing of value at the end.

      So yes that is a good method for this formula of the question.

  • @[email protected]
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    1272 months ago

    Easy! Just spend the month in a US hospital without insurance

    Hopefully the billion will cover the rest of the bill

  • ditty
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    1002 months ago

    Sent this to my friend at AWS and he said it was already all-over their internal Memes Slack channel. At least their engineers and project managers are in on the joke. 😁

  • slazer2au
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    2 months ago

    Create a serverless function on AWS that calls a serverless function on Azure, which calls a serverless function on gcp which calls a serverless function on Oracle cloud which loops it back to AWS.

    Now stick CloudFlare in between each step of that.

    • @_stranger_
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      Dude, you only have 100 million.

  • DrDominate
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    482 months ago

    Genie never said they’d give me a 100M to spend in the first place. No way I’d be able to spend 100M that I don’t have.

      • I Cast Fist
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        32 months ago

        I wonder whether Eve has more or less scams per capita (player) than Roblox or Runescape

    • @[email protected]
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      122 months ago

      Find someone rich who would believe you have this pact with a génie, and promise them a 100% ROI.

      Thinking of it, that’s not the worst idea for a new sect religion…

    • @[email protected]
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      42 months ago

      First get the spending money then do it. In a non-refundable unable to be altered manner (ignoring the magicially manifesting money part)

    • @[email protected]
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      22 months ago

      Or worse if he does, how do you prove to all the anti-money-laundering watchdogs you got free money from a genie? Will you be able to gain control over your instantly conviscated money in 30 days?

    • macniel
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      232 months ago

      from 714 millions to 814 millions in one day. nice :D

      • @Dagnet
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        92 months ago

        Surely that will be enough for them to finally finish the game right? COPIUM

        • macniel
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          52 months ago

          I don’t think that money is the issue any more, time and scope would be the issue. Lets see if 4.0 actually arrives this year

          • @Dagnet
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            12 months ago

            Oh I know, but tell that to the people still pouring millions at them

  • Stern
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    402 months ago

    “Can I invest in crypto”

    “I already said no throwing it away”

  • @[email protected]
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    392 months ago

    I’d spend 100M in a month easily. Especially after I’ve bankrolled GrapheneOS, Ladybird and all my favourite FOSS projects. They also didn’t say anything about charity which IMO isn’t gifting. Once I feel like I’ve sufficiently contributed to society I’d buy a 50ft sailboat, pimp the shit out of it with solar and fuck off forever.

    With the billion I’d establish a fund that pays out monthly to any projects I deem worthy and funds all food banks in my local area indefinitely.

    • Jolteon
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      2 months ago

      Then maybe graphene OS would be able to get enough people to maintain non-pixel builds.

    • @[email protected]
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      42 months ago

      Especially after I’ve bankrolled GrapheneOS, Ladybird and all my favourite FOSS projects.

      According to the book The Starfish and the Spider, which is about decentralized organization versus centralized organization, the Spanish Empire was able to defeat the previously-undefeatable Apache resistance by giving gifts of horses to some of the Apache leaders. It provided them status, creating a hierarchy, turning the Apache society into the sort of thing that could be destroyed in conventional battle.

      Not saying it’s a very tight analogy, but I would be wary of changes in team culture resulting from a project going from volunteer based to well-funded.

      Obviously open source projects need resources, such as servers and github accounts and all that, but spirits change when resource flows change, and projects excel or flub on spirit.

  • @hOrni
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    292 months ago

    Buy a few houses? How long does that take if You have cash?

    • @Makeitstop
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      It’s taking the premise of Brewster’s Millions, which required that he not only spend the money, but that he has to have nothing left at the end, including assets. So, buying a house doesn’t work because you still own the house.

      Obviously there are still plenty of ways to drop millions on stuff without having anything to show for it. Hell, it’s probably easier now than ever before. Just become a whale for a mobile game and you’re there.

      • I Cast Fist
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        202 months ago

        Just become a whale for a mobile game and you’re there.

        I’d rather literally burn all that cash

        • @Viking_Hippie
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          42 months ago

          Well if taking the rules literally, that’s allowed too!

          As long as you resist whatever urge you might have to throw out the ashes before you get the billion, you’re not throwing them away!

          • @Makeitstop
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            82 months ago

            I wanna say they specifically called out property destruction as being against the rules. And overpaying as well iirc, so you can’t offer someone millions for a sandwich that you then eat.

            Plus, if we’re being pedantic, burning the money isn’t spending it, which is what he is supposed to do.

            The movie also has the advantage of having a contract that presumably covers any other loopholes the audience thinks of, but which they don’t explicitly address in the script. Once you take it out of a movie and start treating it like a challenge to be solved, you can no longer hide behind some unseen fine print.

            • @Viking_Hippie
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              32 months ago

              they specifically called out property destruction as being against the rules

              Not in this meme, which is what I’m referring to.

              And overpaying as well

              So that rules out spending them in the US and several other countries…

              In under-regulated capitalism, prices aren’t set at what’s fair, they’re at the maximum that they can get away with without losing too many sales/clients.

              That’s by definition overpaying from the perspective of the buyer/client.

              Plus, if we’re being pedantic

              We are indeed. Carry on, good sir/madam/cuttlefish

              burning the money isn’t spending it, which is what he is supposed to do.

              Damn, you got me there. Good point 😁

              The movie

              Again, I was referring to the meme only, not the movie that inspired the premise

              also has the advantage of having a contract that presumably covers any other loopholes the audience thinks of

              That’s a mountain sized presumption…

              Once you take it out of a movie and start treating it like a challenge to be solved, you can no longer hide behind some unseen fine print.

              Good. Genies have had it too good for too long 😛

      • @[email protected]
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        2 months ago

        Mobile game, uhg! Think of the services: a month’s worth of the best eats: 90 meals from the world’s 100 most famous chefs, each flown in to serve you. (Presumably 10% would decline even $1m for a single meal.) Concerts from semi-famous bands every three nights. Boom, $100m spent!

        Mobile games are easier and funnier though 😉

  • @EnderMB
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    262 months ago

    I would’ve thought that this could be quite simple.

    • A few flights in a private jet, or long-term purchasing for the whole month to take you wherever you want.
    • Several $250k-500k cars in each location to take you wherever you want
    • A private show from a famous band can set you back a few million. Do this each day.
    • Go to Vegas and get in a pissing content with some rich cunt where you send expensive drinks to each others table, until one folds. That’ll be a few million each night.
    • Trump spent a ton on sex, so high class hookers?
    • A few ads across multiple providers to promote something
    • Prize fights can be set up quickly, and have the best in combat sports ready in 30 days. Offer $1m per division for the winner, and do it across maybe 4-5 sports, pay for TV and streaming, set up a venue, and you’ll probably blow through it all.
    • @garbagebagel
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      102 months ago

      I would spend all 100M to get ads put up all over the country of people who have wronged me and my loved ones. They’ll just be like really awful pictures of them with really petty captions like “doesn’t help carry suitcases”, “laughed at a disabled person”, “sneezed too loud that one time”. That’ll show them.

    • @KrankyKong
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      42 months ago

      Single use luxury cars is my favorite one

    • @brygphilomena
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      12 months ago

      Buy a/some 737 and start an airline. It’s easy to spend $100m.

      • @[email protected]
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        12 months ago

        The lead times on aircraft manufacturing is measured in years though. It’s so bad that in many cases airlines will lease aircraft from other airlines to the point that it’s all meaningless

        • @brygphilomena
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          22 months ago

          You can still spend the required money even if the product isn’t delivered.

          • @[email protected]
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            22 months ago

            Honestly modern finance brings us to a point where you really have to ask what the criteria is to actually “spend” the money, given how many businesses that exist purely moving numbers around on spreadsheets and not actually doing anything tangible in the real world

  • @[email protected]
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    242 months ago

    Easy. Buy 100 homes in my city. Become a landlord. Barely ask rent so it’s technically not gifting. Use my infinite money to maintain the homes so people have affordable decent housing. Profit for all!

    • @andrewta
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      -192 months ago

      Short time later your homes are in ruins and your broke from continuously fixing your houses.

      • @[email protected]
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        312 months ago

        I sincerely doubt that the maintenance bill for 100 houses is going to exceed a billion dollars any time in for foreseeable future.

      • @[email protected]
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        2 months ago

        Found the idle rent seeker, or worse, a bootlicker for idle rent seekers.

        There is a reason why capitalists and socialists both hate landlords, they are a relic of feudalism.

        • @andrewta
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          -152 months ago

          You sound like you need a warm cookie and a glass of milk

            • @andrewta
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              -22 months ago

              So when someone calls me a boot licker and other names I should smile and be happy? Good luck with that

              • @[email protected]
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                If you don’t wanna be insulted, don’t simp for the oppressors. I’d insult you if you said “I love absolutist monarchy!”

              • @StupidBrotherInLaw
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                32 months ago

                You could always stop and wonder why they’re calling you a bootlicker, but most bootlickers are bootlickers because they lack the ability for introspection.

        • @andrewta
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          -52 months ago

          Tips will cover the furnace or the shingles when they wear out?

          Damn those would be some nice tips.

  • @brygphilomena
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    222 months ago

    Start a company.

    Create a product.

    Price it at $100m.

    Buy said product from my own company.

      • @buddascrayon
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        22 months ago

        They said $100,000,000 not $100,000. With $100 million you could start 10 companies easily and still end up profitable if even one of them hits paydirt.

  • @CheeseNoodle
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    222 months ago

    I feel like I could easily spend that in microtransactions on some scummy mobile game.

    • @Hobo
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      32 months ago

      Diablo Immortal entered the chat.

  • go $fsck yourself
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    212 months ago

    Just pay for a couple people’s cancer hospital bills.

  • @garbagebagel
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    182 months ago

    Can I do the lobbying thing to get a nice human rights or climate law passed or is 100M still too poor for that