• @[email protected]
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    1351 month ago

    For the love of God can’t we just make sex work legal, take the shame out of it, and STOP associating it with massage? PLEASE?!?

    I’ve been a massage therapist for almost 20 years now and have got the point where the sex jokes hit with about the same impact as asking the cashier if something is free if the item doesn’t scan at the register. I work in hospice, and not 3 weeks ago I had a patient’s brother in law giggle and ask me if I gave his sister in law a happy ending. My inside voice said “no, sorry, she’s still breathing so she has to keep dealing with you” while my outside voice pretended not to hear the comment.

    • @feedum_sneedson
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      781 month ago

      “Happy Endings” ironically being a great name for a hospice.

    • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥
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      1 month ago

      Hill, in his tribute, recalled one funny interaction that occurred when Sean Lock called him from a hospice.

      “I asked him what it was like, and he said: ‘It’s OK actually and the sex is amazing,’” Hill wrote.

    • @suction
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      1 month ago

      There used to be a “traditional” massage salon in my neighbourhood which looked extremely legit, medical, and had zero hints that “happy endings” were on the menu. For years I was convinced that it really was one of those shops where they do not offer the sleazy stuff. People I know went there to get massages, men and women. I never went because I’m convinced massages are snake oil and a waste of money.

      Then one day they were raided and closed down by the local authorities. Turned out despite the upstanding image, they did offer the happy ending version, you just had to know the “unofficial” phone number and codeword.

      So that didn’t exactly help to solidify my trust that there are massage businesses that are truly not offering any kind of sex work ever.

      Not judging it, but the image they have is earned to say the least.

      • @[email protected]
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        91 month ago

        Therein lies part of the problem. A large number of those places that disguise themselves as legitimate clinics are actually covers for human trafficking.

        Depending on where you are, becoming a massage therapist can take a couple years and cost thousands of dollars, require exams, and licensing. Legitimate massage therapists aren’t going to risk throwing everything away for a couple extra bucks for a handy. If sex work was legal, people wouldn’t have to masquerade as much behind legitimate business.

        As for massage being snake oil, I guess it depends on what the person is claiming it’s going to do. Like I said, I’ve been doing this almost 20 years now, and have worked in health clubs (mostly doing sports/injury recovery/rehab stuff), education (teaching massage, anatomy, physiology, pathology), and now working hospice the last several years. Massage can be great for pain relief, relaxation, and general comfort. For some people with circulatory issues like lymphedema, massage can help reduce the fluid settling in their extremities. Unfortunately historically there’s a lot of questionable and downright bullshit practices that have been attached to massage, but massage on it’s own? If you like to be touched, it can be a good thing.

        • @[email protected]
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          41 month ago

          people wouldn’t have to masquerade as much behind legitimate business.

          Yes, that’s the point - they’d BE a legitimate business anyway. Sadly, the concept of it being not so, is so ingrained in Western (American and British, at least) culture that even comments in support reveal an unconscious bias that’s hard to overcome.

    • @[email protected]
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      1 month ago

      I work in hospice, and not 3 weeks ago I had a patient’s brother in law giggle and ask me if I gave his sister in law a happy ending.

      WTF is wrong with people… “Hey did you jerk off my dying SIL?”

    • @[email protected]
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      31 month ago

      Eww, like the cashier joke is inoffensive but the the happy ending is just eww

      maybe I’m being too purist/prejudiced to feel that way?

    • @Mango
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      -661 month ago

      Legalizing it won’t take the shame out. There is no such thing as serious and dignified sex. We’re animals that have a really fucking stupid and silly desire that we’re aware of but can’t just not want anyhow. Best we can do is try not to take it seriously.

        • @Mango
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          -411 month ago

          Bro I have no idea what you’re on about, but you should smoke some shit that makes some sense.

          • @catbum
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            201 month ago

            They’re talking about how religions like Christianity make sex a “shameful” act that should never be enjoyed outside of anything but institutional marriage, even though it’s completely natural to desire consensual sex for myriad reasons.

            The fact that humans can recognize the biological motivations of sexuality and its various purposes (pleasure, connection, procreation) doesn’t make sex stupid, silly, or somehow undignified. Religious institutions try hard to make anything sexual a sin in order to shame adherents into not having sex because “only God can grant you that joy and only within marriage, anything else sends you straight to hell.”

            • @Mango
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              -291 month ago

              Removed by mod

              • @Xella
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                161 month ago

                Did … did you just say pedophilia is natural? Any and all arguments you have made are null and void. Your opinion is shit and you should feel like shit.

                • @Mango
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                  -161 month ago

                  You don’t think there’s an evolutionary advantage to getting at girls first when they’re young as possible before other guys do? You don’t think that advantage from that behavior got passed into genes? Why do you think it happens? There’s no rational sociably equitable reason for it. I’m not sitting here condoning it. It’s obviously bad. Youth generally comes with all the indicators of health. I don’t think you consider the word ‘natural’ the same way I do. You think of natural as being ‘okay and healthy’ and I think of it as ‘wild, competitive, and not consciously regulated’. Behavior is not generally without reason. Everything is because of reasons.

      • @idiomaddict
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        171 month ago

        We can have dignified sleep, food, and bathing, and those are silly animalistic needs. Why not sex?

        • @brygphilomena
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          31 month ago

          I’m into casual sex.

          I do it naked, what’s more casual than that?

          • @idiomaddict
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            21 month ago

            Casual and dignified aren’t opposites though, I don’t see the issue.

              • @idiomaddict
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                11 month ago

                I’d be interested in pressing that a little with people who consider them opposites. Do they think a plain T-shirt and jeans are undignified or formal? What about think fixing yourself a quick cup of tea or coffee?

                There will always be people who think differently, but if they view the above as undignified or formal, we probably have very disparate ideas of those concepts that we’d need to agree on before we could actually discuss the dignity of casual sex.

        • @Mango
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          -221 month ago

          Because sex is silly. Dignity is all about distancing yourself from the dirty and putting yourself above it. That shit just don’t work when I’m licking toes.

          • @idiomaddict
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            91 month ago

            A turducken is not more dignified than licking toes.

          • discusseded
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            51 month ago

            I’m sorry, but I have respect for a guy who can expertly sex up his partner. A guy who sees sex as filthy and indignant? Nope, I don’t respect that crap

            Through my eyes the first guy has dignity, the second has problems.

            • @Mango
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              -61 month ago

              Dignity is stupid and worthless for anyone not trying to control their image.

          • @feedum_sneedson
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            31 month ago

            Dignified sex sounds like an oxymoron, or at the very least, rubbish sex.

      • @angrystego
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        1 month ago

        Not serious does not equal shameful. You should not feel ashamed to have fun.

        Edit: You should feel very ashamed if you hurt someone while having fun, but that’s a different story.

        • @Mango
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          -31 month ago

          I’ll be embarrassed if someone walks in. That’s shame.

          • @angrystego
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            41 month ago

            Yep, that’s shame. But you’re not obligated to be ashamed of it. Not everyone is. There’s nothing wrong about having sex. It’s the culture around us that makes it feel shameful for many people.

              • @angrystego
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                11 month ago

                Exactly, no need to be ashamed of our natural processes. I know people who are physically unable to pee when they know there are people in the next room. And then there are people who can keep perfectly self confident even during those occasions and who don’t mind having a conversation while at the bathroom :)

      • @Duamerthrax
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        81 month ago

        Hey, FBI? Yeah, this guy. Keep an eye on him.

        • @Mango
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          -61 month ago

          People like you who look away from the bad shit are the ones who enable it. The pedos and rapists won’t seek help when you make them taboo. Instead they’ll hide and that’s where they do the most damage. It’s not people like me you have to worry about. All I do is approach the topic with honesty and keep my eyes open.

          • @Duamerthrax
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            61 month ago

            nah. You’re a huge waking Red Flag. Your premise is based on the idea that human beings have no sense of self control. You claim to be an atheist, but are using the same logic as theists do, but framed differently.

            • @Mango
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              -61 month ago

              You think everyone out there is exercising their self control, or do you think we just deleted our instincts? Either thought is stupid AF.

      • @Charapaso
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        71 month ago

        You’re getting dragged in the discussion below, and while I think I understand your more specific points below, I’d like to offer some perspective on this general point instead of continuing down those lines.

        Here you’ve set the tone by calling sex inherently shameful. Not being serious/dignified isn’t the same as shameful. For me, shame comes with some moral failing. I’m ashamed when I disappoint someone, or get angry for something petty, or act petty myself. Not because of being undignified. I’m not ashamed when I fart, that’s just my body. However, I am ashamed when I fart in a public place, because it’s smelly and few people deserve to suffer like that.

        So my counterargument to your perspective here: sex isn’t inherently shameful, but it can be because of context. Banging too loud when having guests over is shameful: not because of being loud, but because of the lack of consent - being too loud when everyone around consents to that kind of behavior is fine. No shame if you’re in a place where everyone is hooking up, and everyone knows the walls are thin. That’s just fun. Not dignified, not serious, but fun. So the sex part isn’t the problem. Not inherently.

        To the main point - if everyone would just be cool about sex work, I honestly think folks wouldn’t ascribe shame to participating in sex work. I’ve lived in small communities in the Amazon where there was essentially no shame associated with consensual non monogamy, outside of the religious folk. Different social structure and beliefs in that region made it much more open…so I heartily reject calling sex a shameful act. That’s too much moral baggage to ascribe to such a natural, zesty enterprise.

        • @Mango
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          1 month ago

          Would you brag about how many people you let fuck you for money? I didn’t say sex is shameful. The topic is prostitution. You have sex for money when you’re too lazy to do something productive or when you’re naturally good looking and wanna make a big profit on people’s lust. I don’t need religion to tell me that shit is lame.

          Sex is fine. Getting rich for your body count is gross.

          Edit: prostitution is lame for basically the same reason as music artists selling out.

          • @Charapaso
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            71 month ago

            Ok well there we go: I don’t think sex work is inherently “lame”, nor that it should be stigmatized.

            I’ve never had sex for money, or paid for sex, but I don’t see why it should be illegal or shameful. I’ve watched plenty of porn that’s shameful because of the exploitation of folks, but there’s good porn out there that isn’t that. As for literally prostitution, and not the broader sex work label…some folks are too anxious to have sex without it, some people want to engage in really specific kinks, some people are just bored and want no strings attached sex.

            Sex is as natural as eating, and I think being a good chef is something to be proud of.

            • @Mango
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              21 month ago

              I don’t think we’re gonna reach an agreement here.

              • @Charapaso
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                21 month ago

                Seems like we won’t, but hopefully we both learned something.

                • @Mango
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                  01 month ago

                  Meanwhile literal driving mods of communities are calling me a pedophile as if I’m promoting the shit.

  • @[email protected]
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    491 month ago

    Not that it’s that common I’m sure, but my university girlfriend’s best friend could think herself to orgasm. She inspired me to try it, and I’ve come (haha!) pretty close over the years, but never quite there. Might be because I’m a guy. It’s certainly not going to happen in my current middle-age.

    • cheesymoonshadow
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      231 month ago

      Woman here. I’ve had sexy dreams that led to me waking up while having a real orgasm, though I wasn’t touching myself or anything.

        • cheesymoonshadow
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          Yeah, what a neat trick it would be if I could bring myself to climax just from thinking. Reminds me of the headset things from Total Recall Demolition Man. (The original, haven’t seen the remake so no idea if it’s in that one too.)

          Edit: wrong movie

    • @captainlezbian
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      151 month ago

      Oh it’s a thing that can be done by some people, maybe even most, though very few can without training. The human brain is both very susceptible to inputs and the thing that controls physiological responses. I know training this is a pretty common goal among hypnosis fetishists

  • Jo Miran
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    431 month ago

    Here we have proof that ten years ago Facebook was still comedy heaven.

  • @Lawnman23
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    421 month ago

    The Man, The Myth, The Legend…Ken M.

  • My sister was drying out some mushrooms and it made the whole apartment smell like cum, which made me horny AF and almost bring me to orgasm just smelling it for so long.

    Does that make me a… Fungi? 🤔

    • @Tyfud
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      111 month ago

      No, just a Fun Guy.

      • @angrystego
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        21 month ago

        That was the point, friend.

    • @[email protected]
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      71 month ago

      Brilliant… Totally didn’t see that coming

      (it’s double entendre Thursday down here in the southern hemisphere, btw)

  • @KazuyaDarklight
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    351 month ago

    Or, according to Dune author Frank Herbert, from watching a man climb a mountain. (See Heretics of Dune)

    • @Wilzax
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      401 month ago

      To be fair, not a single character in the Dune universe is a regular human. They’re the equivalent of those plum-sized GMO strawberries at the grocery store.

      • @[email protected]
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        331 month ago

        You just gave me a new headcanon: the entire dune universe is just tiny people. The worms are normal sized worms being ridden by very small fremen

      • @feedum_sneedson
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        171 month ago

        Yes, I choose to believe she was rubbing one out with her prehensile clitoral hood.

        • @[email protected]
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          31 month ago

          I have read all the original books, and I don’t think a prehensile cliteral hood was mentioned, but I would have to read them again to be sure.

      • @[email protected]
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        61 month ago

        Better, stronger, and with additional erogenous zones in the largest sexual organ, the brain!

      • FauxPseudo
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        31 month ago

        There are no GMO strawberries for sale. There are none currently approved.

        • @[email protected]
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          11 month ago

          Well, they all are, just through the old-school methods of domestication and selective breeding.

          • FauxPseudo
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            11 month ago

            But that’s not what people mean when they say GMO in this context. Otherwise they would use GMO in front of every food item name unless they were referring to foraged goods with no domesticated equivalent.

    • @CptEnder
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      111 month ago

      Lmao those books got real weird after Children of Dune

    • @[email protected]
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      41 month ago

      I’m pretty sure that was in God Emperor. Heretics is the one where that same man acquires super sex powers that are so powerful he can overwhelm the sex powers of a clan of violent sex women and subjugate them to his will.

  • @AnUnusualRelic
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    1 month ago

    According to reliable pictures I’ve seen online, a lot of women can achieve orgasm through salad alone.

    • RedC
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      81 month ago

      “Really? Right in front of my salad?”

  • @masquenox
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    211 month ago

    Ken M strikes me as the type who should never be left unattended in any room that has a vacuum cleaner in it.

  • @psmgx
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    121 month ago

    So, uh, what article is this? Asking for a friend

  • @aodhsishaj
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    91 month ago

    Everyone loves a little horsey surprise

  • @numberfour002
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    71 month ago

    Usually just flip on some Murder She Wrote when I need to get my Dick in the mood. Been married 43 years come November.

  • @[email protected]
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    41 month ago

    Woah, can we get a tag for this or something!? I started to read the ribald words and almost got the vapors!

  • @norimee
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    41 month ago

    Every girl knows what KEN’s problem is…