• Zagorath
    link
    fedilink
    424 months ago

    The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.

    He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.

    • Skua
      link
      fedilink
      164 months ago

      For the entire duration, he can’t work out what it actually is because it’s such a weird shape and so ridiculously huge that it being a dildo never even crosses his mind

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      134 months ago

      And instead of Wilson, it can be called Doc, or Dr Johnson. (Having a name like bad dragon seems a stretch, maybe baddra?)

  • FlashMobOfOne
    link
    264 months ago

    Magic 8-Ball

    This time Wilson can kinda sorta actually talk back.

    • ChristianOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      84 months ago

      This is inexplicably the best answer yet. Everyone else is working so hard to think outside the box that the box is inside-out.

      • @Zachariah
        link
        74 months ago

        Plus, now you can include a love scene.

        • ChristianOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          34 months ago

          I have absolutely zero interest in making this movie political.

          • @Zachariah
            link
            24 months ago

            Then I’d go with airplane seat cushion instead.

            • ChristianOP
              link
              fedilink
              English
              0
              edit-2
              4 months ago

              The couch cushion works fine. Couch cushions appear in real-life situations all the time and simply having one in the movie cannot be construed as making a statement on the kind of conduct that we as a nation are willing to accept from our vice-presidential candidates.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    134 months ago

    A coconut. Those who know, will know. Those who don’t, may their innocence last forever.

  • @LouNeko
    link
    114 months ago

    Oh wow look at what the tides have swept ashore. A Pringles can, some rubber gloves and a few sponges.

  • @Num10ck
    link
    English
    104 months ago

    a super valuable in-the-original packaging giant boba fett action figure, he’s tormented by keeping it mint in case he ever gets back, somehow the rocket launcher ends up saving his life.

  • Dandroid
    link
    fedilink
    104 months ago

    A dakimakura, AKA a body pillow. Needs an anime character on it, obviously.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      44 months ago

      Of coure the large breasted, scarcely dressed waifu of questionable age shall still be referred to as “Wilson”

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    104 months ago

    Coconut would be believably available on the island, and you could have a whole arc when he runs out of water and fights over killing his friend to drink the juice, like a schizophrenic episode

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    94 months ago

    A pot plant which he might try take care of for a while before realising it’s plastic, but has already grown attached to it.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    84 months ago

    A bowling ball. Can change some of the script so he catches it before it rolls off the raft but he falls in the water with it. He’s too heavy and weak to make it back to the raft so he has to let go and watch it immediately sink or he’s taken under too (also a good reference how it’s hard to save someone from drowning when you’re near drowning yourself). Definitely thought of a dildo first till I saw everyone else put it up though.

  • @thirteene
    link
    84 months ago

    Wouldn’t the object need to be something of deep importance to the individual or be a poetic representation? I always assumed the volleyball was a symbol of everything he left behind. Things like recreation no longer mattered; only survival. :shrug: but I also thought the movie sounded incredibly boring. If you want a random item, go for qualities like “awkward to carry” or “gets hot when left in the sun”. Give your characters personality or force them to choose that object at a moment it’s inconvenient.

    • An oversized diamond/ faberge egg - it’s valuable, heavy or fragile and inconvenient, in a critical moment your character may need to smash it against something risking damage
    • Teddy Roxbury/furby - favorite toy growing up? Creepy voice at stalking moments? Mid point twist when the batteries die?
    • Harmonica - potentially a little Disney princess forest friend vibes
    • Bowling ball - Wilson prolly plays a little different when it’s not feasible to take him on a raft, prevents you from climbing trees and burns precious calories transporting. Mobility is now a plot point. Decent weapon tho
    • Toilet plunger/brush - everyday object that can be utilized differently, maybe adds that little bit extra reach to save the day?