• @[email protected]
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    1614 months ago

    As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you’re buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.

    • @Mpatch
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      1034 months ago

      You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you’re cruel.

      • @[email protected]
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        564 months ago

        Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.

    • @Buddahriffic
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      244 months ago

      Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it’s a middle aged person who clearly doesn’t understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you’re on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don’t recognize?

      • @[email protected]
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        54 months ago

        A bit less, partly because it’s easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one’s phone, if one can figure out which language it is

      • @[email protected]
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        24 months ago

        In my Walmart there is one in every aisle directly in front of what I want scratching their ass and adjusting their teeth.

    • @[email protected]
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      44 months ago

      You’re going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone

    • Flax
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      14 months ago

      Put the gun in the lunchbox and the lunchbox in the backpack

  • @[email protected]
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    4 months ago

    bleach, ammonia based cleaner, mixing container.

    uh oh, accidental chloramine gas bomb

    reminder people, do NOT mix bleach with ammonia based cleaners to “speed up cleaning”. youll accidentally speed up life

      • ✺roguetrick✺
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        4 months ago

        Brother if you’re pissing straight ammonia you’ve got other problems. Your body specifically coverts ammonia to urea because it’s toxic to you and it’s usually bacteria that converts it back.

      • @[email protected]
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        34 months ago

        It does happen, you just don’t get that much of a reaction because it’s diluted. You definitely don’t want to stick around the fumes that it gives off though.

          • @[email protected]
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            14 months ago

            Huh, the ones I’ve seen always say to flush thoroughly, and I’ve been told it’s to prevent a potential buildup of residue from clogging the toilet or bursting a pipe. Maybe that’s outdated info, or because of a different formula? Wouldn’t be the first time some old wisdom doesn’t apply to modern products anymore.

            • @[email protected]
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              24 months ago

              Clogged toilets are unheard of in Australia, so don’t know lol

              Can’t see bleach blocking any pipes

  • @[email protected]
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    264 months ago

    I’m good at this

    Alligator clamps
    Belt
    Laxatives

    Shipping boxes
    Meat cleaver
    Adult diapers

    Birth control
    Bucket
    Bleach

    Night vision goggles
    Fingerless gloves
    Bubble bath

    Massager
    Leather boots
    Farady cage EMP bag

    Zip ties
    Meat grinder
    Swim goggles

    Funnel
    Butt lifting suit
    Rope

    Prescription strength deodorant
    Dog crate
    Sorry for your loss card

    Wooden cross
    Ammo
    Jock strap

    Okay, actually it’s just a script I wrote.

  • SGG
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    244 months ago

    The easy-way-to-end-up-with-a-police-visit classic:

    1. Plan B pill

    2. Giant “9” balloon

    3. Vodka.

      • SGG
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        14 months ago

        It’s what some people will pickup before going to a house and getting a surprise visit from Chris Hansen.

  • @Jiggle_Physics
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    4 months ago

    I once bought 50 cans of butane. That caused a stir. Managers got involved, I was asked a whole bunch of questions about what I was doing, it was annoying.

    Oh yeah, also had a similar experience with spray paint.

  • @[email protected]
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    224 months ago

    I think some of you have never been to Walmart and give the employees way too much credit in the intelligence department

    • TheHarpyEagle
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      484 months ago

      I mean it’s more likely that they just don’t give a shit anymore.

      • @[email protected]
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        164 months ago

        Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don’t care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn’t have any idea.

    • Dyskolos
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      94 months ago

      Do you feel good being so vastly intellectually superior to those dumb fucks serving you? Must be awesome 😊

  • @Maggoty
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    164 months ago

    Car battery

    Jumper cables

    Duct tape

    If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!

    • @[email protected]
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      224 months ago

      None of this would attract attention, this is what you would buy to work on an old car. You don’t get out much do you? 🤣

      • @Maggoty
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        34 months ago

        Are you working on the car or doing a patch job until you can work on the car?

        • @chiliedogg
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          74 months ago

          There’s nothing more permanent than a temporary fix.

          • @[email protected]
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            14 months ago

            If you think the mechanics you go to aren’t cowboys, you’re wrong.

            If you think the guy who wired up your home wasn’t a cowboy, you’re wrong.

            If you think the guy you would hire to wire up your home now isn’t a cowboy, you’re wrong.

            It’s cowboys all the way down.

            • @chiliedogg
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              24 months ago

              I’ve inspected enough homes to realize that the people with the least respect for the dangers of poorly-installed wiring are electricians.

          • @Maggoty
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            14 months ago

            Yeah that hurts just right.

          • @Maggoty
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            14 months ago

            Right. I’m just having trouble imagining a scenario that would require a new battery and duct tape but not fasteners of any kind or bolts…

      • @[email protected]
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        24 months ago

        Went out once to buy movie tickets, get back to the old big screen to experience it properly again. But it was very noisy and busy so it was more than enough with just the one time.

    • @jagungal
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      44 months ago

      I’d go for jumpers, tape, and a tarp. Using the car battery makes it seem like your car battery died. Rope would also make it creepy.

      • GratefullyGodless
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        24 months ago

        That’s also all stuff you can use while working on your vehicle.

        • @jagungal
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          34 months ago

          True, zip ties would also fit in that category