• @[email protected]
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      3828 days ago

      I’m gonna start a rumor that there’s a different boss in a different division that does four.

      • @RizzRustbolt
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        1628 days ago

        Still better than the boss that drops an SBD, and then whispers ^“toot” in your ear.

      • @[email protected]
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        27 days ago

        Legend has it that the higher up you go, the deeper it gets. The penthouse doesn’t even have an office in it, just a single solitary toilet perpetually occupied by a mysterious being known only to the higher ups as The One Who Knocks

  • @[email protected]
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    18628 days ago

    While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.

    • @[email protected]
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      28 days ago

      I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in his repertoire.

      • @ivanafterall
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        27 days ago

        The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve woefully miscalculated.

      • @sfxrlz
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        727 days ago

        Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…

      • @buddascrayon
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        527 days ago

        I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.

    • @Glitterbomb
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      1327 days ago

      Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…

  • @[email protected]
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    10828 days ago

    Wasn’t someone saying “toot toot” and farting a part of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide? Lol

  • RandomStickman
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    10628 days ago

    It’s impacting my morale and performance

    I can’t think of a funnier sentence if I tried

  • AFK BRB Chocolate
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    9828 days ago

    I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he’d pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.

    She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn’t think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.

    • @[email protected]
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      4428 days ago

      Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I’m not sure how you’d prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying “fart face”

      • AFK BRB Chocolate
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        5228 days ago

        She wasn’t interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn’t know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn’t be tolerated and it never happened again.

        Some people are so weird and petty.

        • @SuperIce
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          927 days ago

          Some people never emotionally mature past 5 years old. Only sounds like something a kindergartener would do.

          • AFK BRB Chocolate
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            527 days ago

            Agreed, and it’s sad. I mean, I work at a highly technical engineering company. Everyone has at least a BS, and this guy was probably in his 60s with 30+ years of experience. Yet here he was repeatedly farting by a woman because they had a disagreement. It shows you that age and education don’t guarantee maturity.

    • @[email protected]
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      2327 days ago

      I don’t know which one was right or wrong, but my god… that’s legendary level, hilarious passive aggression.

  • @Agent641
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    9128 days ago

    We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.

  • @Olhonestjim
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    8528 days ago

    Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.

  • @Eczpurt
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    6828 days ago

    Straight up Beetlejuiced a nasty fart into existence.

    • @Jerkface
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      1128 days ago

      It was, in fact, showtime.

  • @Clbull
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    28 days ago

    deleted by creator

  • @buddascrayon
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    4527 days ago

    “he only ever does two, don’t be ridiculous”

    This is the most British response to a situation like this you could possibly get.

  • navordar
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    4428 days ago

    I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean

    • @BigPotato
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      2628 days ago

      I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.

      Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.

    • @EnderMB
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      1228 days ago

      Haha, I thought I was the only one!

      I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.