• @Bassman1805
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    2 months ago

    The lore is that the saarlac actually keeps you alive while digesting you. ~~Like, it puts roots in that act as life support so it has a constant source of protein or whatever. ~~ eh, that last but might not be accurate but there is some kind of enzyme in their stomach that keeps you alive? Whatever.

    • @Blue_Morpho
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      1442 months ago

      That makes as much sense as The Matrix using people for energy. You can’t feed people to keep them alive and get more energy out than just digesting (or in the Matrix burning) that food for energy.

      • @[email protected]
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        1092 months ago

        I could be wrong, but I think the original idea for the matrix was that they were using human brains for processing power and not energy. But someone in the movie making process decided people wouldn’t understand that and instead went with the battery analogy.

        • @[email protected]
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          582 months ago

          Studio executives made the decision, you know… because there hasn’t be a long list of projects they’ve fucked over the years with their notes. 🙄

        • @GraniteM
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          342 months ago

          Morpheus is the only one we ever hear the battery analogy from anyway. He might well be wrong about that interpretation, and the brain processors are what’s really going on.

          • @[email protected]
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            142 months ago

            My headcanon is that he tried the more technical and correct explanation, but most people he told it to started to go a bit glassy-eyed during that part, so he simplified his pitch.

            • @[email protected]
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              92 months ago

              The showing of the battery is a good visual to sell the explanation too, regardless of it not making sense “realistically”

          • JackbyDev
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            72 months ago

            I believe Switch refers to Neo as coppertop at some point which would be the battery analogy as well too.

              • @[email protected]
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                2 months ago

                Also there’s plenty of precedent for everyone being wrong about something big, like everything revolving around Earth.

        • @[email protected]
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          122 months ago

          The real reason is the machines are using all the human brains to fake generative AI responses to keep share prices going up in line with their original programming.

        • @[email protected]
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          32 months ago

          The humans blocked out the sun, and probably dashed all other power sources available to the Machines. What you have left are self-replicating humans. Makes sense to keep them alive and farm them just enough to tide you over before their next breeding cycle

            • @sandbox
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              32 months ago

              They just eat the other humans remains, duh!

                • @[email protected]
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                  22 months ago

                  Well they scorched the sky which created lots of wind and lightning storms. Maybe they harnessed those sources, or this being the future, used the scant antimatter generated from each strike?

      • @GraniteM
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        2 months ago

        Maybe you get “digested” in the sense that you get incorporated into the sarlacc’s body, like it’s using you in a parasitic sense. It makes you one of its internal organs, and it keeps you alive as it slowly uses you up over the course of a thousand years (assuming we take that phrase literally). I think acting as a gall bladder for an underground sand monster sounds like a fate worse than death.

        • IninewCrow
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          2 months ago

          Isn’t that basically the mechanism of how early complex cells formed millions of years ago.

          First it was just basic cells … they fed off one another and at one point … one cell became incorporated into the other and essentially evolved into an organ of the cell … like mitochondria inside the cell, isn’t it basically thought that it was one it’s own organism at one point and just evolved into an organ inside other cells.

          Same with the human body. I think the estimate is that we are only about 50% of our own generated cells and the rest is just other beneficial cooperative bacteria our body has evolved to take advantage of.

          So the Sarlac taking you in is just incorporating you into it’s body for some function and keeping you alive to fulfill that role … you just happen to be conscious of it and unable to escape the entire time over a thousand years.

      • JackbyDev
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        122 months ago

        It could be that their prey’s bodies are used for chemical reactions that their own body is incapable of.

      • @[email protected]
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        112 months ago

        Could be it’s using you for nutrients it can’t get normally, so it keeps you alive to milk you for your calcium or whatever for as long as it can.

        • Final Remix
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          82 months ago

          No, that’s exactly the original thing. “Wetware”, basically… But test audiences got upset and confused, so it was changed to “batteries.”

          • @[email protected]
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            102 months ago

            The batteries things was also Morpheus’s explanation, and not necessarily a definitive fact of the fictive universe. Morpheus could have been talking out of his ass, or deliberately over-simplifying for the benefit of Neo, who he knew was kind of a dumbass.

        • Björn Tantau
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          22 months ago

          I think that was the original idea but they changed it to energy because they thought the audience wouldn’t understand the CPU stuff.

      • @JusticeForPorygon
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        52 months ago

        You also can’t choke people with your mind so idk what your point is

      • @CitizenKong
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        12 months ago

        The original script for the Matrix had the machines use human brains for data processing, but the Wachowskis were told by the studio to simplify it.

    • RuBisCO
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      2 months ago

      Sarlac that lost the ability to grow ‘roots’ and instead worked out venom and energy storage (fat and muscle) would outcompete and supplant the sarlacs still producing energetically-expensive, overly-complicated stasis bellies.

      What happens if they momentarily fail to keep their meals alive, do they starve or become poisoned by the rotting meat? Do they have issues keeping a varied diet alive? How do they maintain a net positive energy balance after producing all that is required to keep organisms alive? Why not stun them and stash them, like wasps and spiders? Why not fatten up like -gestures broadly at all life-. Fat requires very little maintenance.

      Could one, in theory, rescue one’s friends were they trapped in a sarlac?

      Sounds like an organism that would quickly be out of business were there any competition at all.

      edit: How do they handle the waste produced by the meals-in-stasis?

      • @[email protected]
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        342 months ago

        As long as we’re coming up with overly convoluted reasons that a minor plot device from a fantasy space opera makes sense in a rigorous scientific way, why not assume that they were genetically engineered specifically as a torturous punishment for the Hutt syndicate? Bioengineering is apparently canon, so there’s in-universe justification.

        • @JusticeForPorygon
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          132 months ago

          Tbf that’s totally something the Hutt clan would do

        • RuBisCO
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          72 months ago

          Wouldn’t Jabba being ‘stupid as fuck’ and making erroneous claims about nature be the less convoluted answer here? Bioengineering, canon or not, sounds like the more complicated explanation.

          • @[email protected]
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            2 months ago

            This is what I hate about Star Wars lore. Same with the parsecs gaffe (I think it’s even pointed out in the screenplay that Han is transparently bullshitting them).

            Both of these make sense, but no. They had to make super convoluted explanations in secondary sources and everyone treats that as gospel for some reason.

  • @danjoubu
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    702 months ago

    The worst thing about this is ‘threepio’

    • @JusticeForPorygon
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      2 months ago

      The worst worst part is that’s actually how it’s spelled in novelizations (or at least how they used to spell it). Artoo-Detoo and See-Threepio.

      • @andrewth09
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        2 months ago

        I’ve never read a Star Wars book but this makes me unreasonably unset upset.

        • @[email protected]
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          32 months ago

          If you ever decide to try it don’t bother with any of them that came out after Disney took over. Almost all of them are trash.

        • @JusticeForPorygon
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          22 months ago

          I used to have a copy of the original novelization of ANH I could post a picture of that had it but I have no idea what happened to it.

          • @andrewth09
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            42 months ago

            FBI not eff-bee-eye.

            NTP not en-tee-pee.

            RNC not arr-en-cee.

          • @[email protected]
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            32 months ago

            Because the only rational reason to spell it Artoo-Detoo and See-Threepio is if they got paid by the word and they wanted to bolster their paycheck? The alternative that they somehow thought this was a good idea is even worse.

            • @[email protected]
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              32 months ago

              I’m pretty sure it was so they would look more like real names, because Star Wars treated robots (droids) like actual characters which was rare at the time.

            • JackbyDev
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              22 months ago

              Threepio and theee-pee-oh sound different so I understand it in a script. That’s it though.

      • zeekaran
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        22 months ago

        I was seven when I learned this and I’ve always hated it.

      • @[email protected]
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        92 months ago

        Not just 70s and 80s, even 90s and 2000s. I grew up in 2000s thinking it is called Arturito, and I’m sure a lot of people (mostly non fans) think the same.

        • JackbyDev
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          52 months ago

          Pedro Pascal has said this in an interview too lol. It’s so cute! Lil Arthur!

      • @danjoubu
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        32 months ago

        This is hilarious

      • @gerbler
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        22 months ago

        I worked with an Arturo once and his nickname was R2

  • @g_the_b
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    482 months ago

    They absorb their prey into their own bodies

  • @[email protected]
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    292 months ago

    Well we know Tatooine orbits a pair of stars somehow and it’s still in the Goldilocks zone just enough to make it semi habitable still. My assumption is that these are white dwarfs or something smallish.

    Could this be explained that the local year is much shorter? Add in that Hutt is well versed in his own biology which assuming a he isn’t strangled by a tentacle, could be slowly digested alive for a 1000 Tatooine years? He probably forgets that about his pathetic cute biped pets.

    • @[email protected]
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      142 months ago

      Just gonna point out that Tatooine used to be green and blue then the ancestors of the Jawa and Tusken did a slave revolt, the Rakata took offense to that so they made it glass.

      Atleast thats true for legends and I frankly dont give a fuck what Disney has to say.

      • @[email protected]
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        2 months ago

        Speaking of which, there’s actually a fairly compelling theory that Tattoine is the human home world in Star Wars. We know a few things about the origin of humanity in Star Wars, but it’s all from the time humanity was an unimportant slave race to the Rakatan Empire. We also know Tuskens are later biological descendants of humans that genetically split after the Rakatans fell, and that the Rakatans directly raided Tattoine for slaves, meaning Tattoine was at least one source of original flavor human when it was still a relatively minor species in the galaxy.

        The other in-galaxy option is Coruscant but honestly that’s kind of boring. It’s also quite far from Tattoine so it’d be weird if Tattoine was just some random human colony.

        And the technically movie-canon answer is Earth and humans are an exo-galactic invasive species but that’s not as fun.

        • @[email protected]
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          42 months ago

          Honestly I go with the Exo-galactic refugee hypothesis kinda like the Vong for the majority of humans but that there is also a native human population in the galaxy as well. Though the reason for humanity’s supremacy in star wars has to do with the Pius Dea, which to summarize were basically when the Republic went full Imperium of Man and started purging xenos.

          • @[email protected]
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            2 months ago

            Well there’s no reason both theories can’t be true, Tattoine being the first major colony of the exo-galactic humanity and such. Or just convergent evolution, it’s not like Star Wars actually cares about scientific details.

            I wasn’t aware of the human supremacy era of the Republic. That’s a wild bit of history to casually drop as background details in a book about Darth Plagueis. I guess it explains where Palpatine got his idea of humanocentrism as a control mechanism from though.

            • @[email protected]
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              42 months ago

              It makes sense that a lot of lore is just kinda dropped, you aint gonna be making references to the 4th crusade unless it comes up vaguely.

      • @[email protected]
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        32 months ago

        Yeah, I can imagine the locals would tell the younglings “don’t play near the Sarlaac Pit! It’ll eat you for a thousand years!”

  • Rev. Layle
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    52 months ago

    God, Jabba, you stupid fuck. Don’t you know anything? I mean, fuck!