By Asher Perlman

  • @TexasDrunk
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    11912 days ago

    Disturbingly accurate. I ain’t out doing midlife crisis shit because I suddenly stared into the abyss at my own mortality. It’s because I can afford everything I’ve always wanted to do.

    • @slaacaa
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      2612 days ago

      Yes, how do people not get this? It’s super simple

      • @kiwifoxtrot
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        1512 days ago

        They can’t afford to do the same.

        • @[email protected]
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          12 days ago

          I cannot afford it but I completely understand the situation. I’ve been unhappy with everything in my life since I started working 20 years ago. I’m not living paycheck to paycheck anymore but I cannot afford anything because as soon as I have some money there’s some fucking emergency happening. Roof on fire, car accident, heating pipes explosion, electric connection on fire, bike stolen… it’s like clockwork: I save some money, something happens.

        • @someguy3
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          112 days ago

          He’s saying why don’t people understand this.

      • @TexasDrunk
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        712 days ago

        A lot of younger people think it’s because older people are trying to look cool or recapture their youth. I think that’s because of years of sitcom jokes and commercials. I’m just out here trying to have a good time and I hope everyone else gets that opportunity as well.

        • @LovableSidekick
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          11 days ago

          People who think in memes seem to map everything they see onto one. I think it’s just automatic. They also don’t know what objectivity is, so if you criticize that mentality they assume you’re only defending a particular stereotype you personally fit. Now that I think of it, this level of brain function is so common it actually kind of explains how Americans just elected a convicted criminal for President.

    • @[email protected]
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      1612 days ago

      I have been saving up for a motorcycle since I was 20. Now I’m approaching 40 and there’s finally some money in that account

      • @[email protected]
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        11 days ago

        Scuse but I bought a bike in my mid 20s for a few grand wtf kinda bike you holding out for? Like 2300 all in. It wasn’t a beauty, it wasn’t in pristine condition but it got me in and I learned a lot. You have to be realistic with expectations.

        • @[email protected]
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          411 days ago

          There are always more important things or more immediate concerns. I had my first kid at 23. Plus 2300 is not something I have ever had as spare money.

      • @TexasDrunk
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        512 days ago

        I highly recommend it if you’re the kind of person who can be safe and keep your concentration on the road. I have a town hopper with small bags that I use more often than either my car or my truck and I’ve got a bagger that I take on long trips if the weather is pretty reasonable. It’s fun, it’s cheaper to maintain than a full size vehicle, and generally it’s quicker getting in and out of places.

      • @[email protected]
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        12 days ago

        I had a child just before turning 40. As soon as that happened my urge to ride around on 2 wheels vanished while the rest of traffic is oversized trucks and SUVs with “drivers”staring at TikTok videos.

    • @[email protected]
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      812 days ago

      When I was like three I watched the property maintenance dude plowing snow on our building’s front yard with a pickup truck and I thought that not only was it the coolest job in the world, but oh, how badly I wanted a truck like that too.

      Fastforward 30 years and there I’m staring at one in the used cars parking lot at the local dealership realising it’s what I’ve always wanted and I can actually afford it too. Now I get to stare at it every single day because it’s mine. I even ended up starting my own business later so now it’s not only fun to drive and beatiful to look at but also useful.

    • @[email protected]
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      712 days ago

      Yup. I’m still living paycheque to paycheque.

      I’m at a prime age for “midlife crisis” I just need my finances to agree that I can have.

      Got a new job last winter, I’ve gotten two raises since. Maybe I’m moving in the right direction? I hope so. (I’m a bit less than 5% above where I started after 11 months)

      I like the new job too. So IDK.

      • @LovableSidekick
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        611 days ago

        “Due to current economic conditions, midlife crises will be late-life crises until further notice. We apologize for any inconvenience.”

    • @LovableSidekick
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      411 days ago

      Funny thing, when I was due for a midlife crisis I got a Nissan Leaf. Still loving it!

      • @Valmond
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        111 days ago

        Kangoo gang checking in!

        • @LovableSidekick
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          211 days ago

          Woah, are those real? They are awesome. The bouncy shoes we had when I was a kid had ridiculous ineffective springs on them, no more functional than the propeller on a beanie copter.

    • @Lost_My_Mind
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      312 days ago

      I sure hope someone with “drunk” in their name isn’t going out and buying a motorcycle as a midlife crisis.

      Maybe go on an uber kick. Just take uber everywhere. Or hire a personal driver. The important thing here is if you fall asleep, you’re not also in control of a several ton killing machine that can affect the lives of innocent civilians at 2pm.

      …maybe buy a blender!

      • @TexasDrunk
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        1112 days ago

        I’ve ridden motorcycles since before I could legally drive. I can be a drunk and I can ride, I just can’t do both at the same time. I don’t get on one if I’ve had anything to drink.

        I’m a drunk, not a moron.

        • @Droggelbecher
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          312 days ago

          Man this would be me if I could afford both booze and a bike. I guess the health side effects of not drinking to safe money are nice though!

  • @[email protected]
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    6812 days ago

    Hey, that’s me. More or less.

    I have been living paycheck to paycheck for about two decades but things changed during the pandemic. I got a substantial raise, stopped smoking, and kept the same micro apartment in a high rise for years. I also live alone, refuse to pay for a car, and don’t have any children.

    So I was able to put some money aside in the last years and now, I take extended vacations (I took 8 weeks this year), I travel, and treat myself with what I want.

    My sister wonders how I can afford to take that much time off work to go to different countries and think that I just recently found interest in traveling but really, it’s just because I can afford it now.

        • ivanafterall ☑️
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          12 days ago

          With enough of them, you can build your own house, though. You’d be stupid not to buy as many as possible. That’s just good, common-sense investing.

      • @MutilationWave
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        112 days ago

        I switched brands at the beginning of the week. It’s going to save me $1300 a year. Now imagine if I quit… Nah.

        • @someguy3
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          512 days ago

          I think vaping is a good path to get around nicotine cravings.

          • @MutilationWave
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            312 days ago

            It’s not the nicotine. I swear. I can vape 0% nicotine and it’s the same as nicotine vapes. It gives me about a quarter of the comfort and anxiety reduction of a cigarette. Addiction to cigarettes is about the ritual and the motions of smoking. Nicotine is overplayed.

            • @someguy3
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              12 days ago

              People say vaping doesn’t hit as much as cigs (even with nicotine), so they do half and half and wean down until vaping is enough. So with respect to nicotine it’s the long term biological addiction.

            • @TexasDrunk
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              211 days ago

              I don’t think nicotine is overplayed, I think that is a sliding scale on how it affects you.

              To be fair, I feel exactly like you. I quit smoking a couple of years ago. It was never the nicotine for me. It was the breaks, the ritual, and something to do with my hands. The more anxiety I felt, the more ritual I’d use. So if I just wanted a break I’d light up and smoke. But if shit went down I’d light up with a match and be very deliberate with my inhaling and breathing.

              I still miss it. I wish I had something half as calming to replace it. But I still think a lot of folks have a serious issue with physical addiction to nicotine.

          • @MutilationWave
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            212 days ago

            Thanks buddy. I have quit twice, once for over a year. Both times by using vapes. Then shit goes to hell in my life and I pick it back up.

            • @[email protected]
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              211 days ago

              I hear that. It’s insidious how it whispers back at you when shit hits the fan, even if you haven’t thought about it in months.

    • Ethanol
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      1212 days ago

      That is great to hear! Good job on quitting smoking and building up some money!

    • @someguy3
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      612 days ago

      I had a classmate who stopped smoking. He said he took the first chunk of savings and spent it on a fancy stereo, so it would constantly remind him how much smoking cost.

      • @[email protected]
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        12 days ago

        Still does 0-60 in under 3 seconds, for reference my GSXS-1000 is about 200lbs lighter and is a tiny bit slower!

        • FireWire400
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          412 days ago

          Almost 180 hp is still A LOT for its weight.

      • @Viking_Hippie
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        512 days ago

        Probably even heavier, depending on your diet.

        • FireWire400
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          712 days ago

          They’re not that much louder than your average Harley tbf, at least here in Europe; they probably have to adhere to noise emission standards over here.

          • @[email protected]
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            12 days ago

            But Harleys are already really fucking loud. Legal road vehicles without specialized function shouldn’t be that loud IMO.

            • FireWire400
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              12 days ago

              I agree, although I’m one of those annoying people that likes big, loud, wide motorcycles; Harleys especially (apart from those shitty touring models with the built-in radios).

              • @[email protected]
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                412 days ago

                Sure I get it, making noise tends to be fun when you’re the noisemaker - personally I like loud music and I’m not the kind of person who goes to sleep early. But it’s the same as with anything else, you need to be considerate of other people.

                • FireWire400
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                  12 days ago

                  No, I fully agree with you. I both live near a main road and in a small village full of inconsiderate people that listen to loud music all night long. I know how annoying that is.

                  I love music and like to listen to it rather loudly but I tend to use headphones after 8 PM for that exact reason.

            • @Valmond
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              311 days ago

              Harley is shit quality though, so often it doesn’t make any noise at all.

    • @MutilationWave
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      12 days ago

      Wow that thing is fucking awesome. I’ve never seen a bike like that. I wouldn’t trust myself on it. I’m not a rider anyway.

      • @[email protected]
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        212 days ago

        I would love to ride one to try it but considering it’s no better on gas than my car I wouldn’t want to own it!

  • @Maalus
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    2012 days ago

    I think this is always the case. Buying cool shit usually costs a bunch of money. And people who get a shitload of it while young, often buy that stuff too - nobody calls them out for having a midlife crisis then

    • @Lost_My_Mind
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      1212 days ago

      “Billy…why did you buy four lifesize 6 foot tall statues of the teenage mutant ninja turtles???”

      “Because my parents have a lack of discipline towards their children, and an infinate source of currency”

      • andrew_bidlaw
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        112 days ago

        "Infenete! You hear it!’ William flipped off the closed door of a liquor store and brought himself up from the ground.

  • @qarbone
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    1812 days ago

    That’s…sad in a different way.

    • GladiusB
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      311 days ago

      That’s the capitalist Earth we live on

  • @lowleveldata
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    1212 days ago

    Hey who’s to say no if a bike makes you happy

  • @[email protected]
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    812 days ago

    I got a used motorcycle semi-recently because I was a bit bored and unsatisfied with my life, and I had a bit of money from internships. I’m a college student. Guess I’ve hit an early midlife crisis, huh.

    • @Valmond
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      111 days ago

      No no no you must buy a brand new gold wing or harley or you are not “rebel” enough.

      Sheesh, the younger generation doesn’t understand anything.

      • @[email protected]
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        211 days ago

        The next step of the crisis (if it continues) is probably a Harley… I’m already thrifting leather jackets to look cooler and be more confident…

    • @[email protected]
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      112 days ago

      We’re not in Fuck Cars, right?.. Okay.

      I bought my first new car in 1999. A friend of mine commented that she had no idea what I was going to do for a midlife crisis car. I figured I’d keep it 10 years, then move on.

      But here I am, approaching half a century old, and I’m still happy with my car and have zero plans to get rid of it, ever (it’s not a daily driver, so it doesn’t accumulate that many miles - we usually drive my wife’s car for most errands and driving to work).

      I am drooling over a new bicycle though…