if iam sitting like this iam not listening, because i am to busy trying to keep sitting like this.
give me atleast a deck of cards to shuffle and allow me to look around.
yup, it was so deeply annoying when teachers in school told me “stop doodling and focus!” … like- pick one, i can either keep drawing and be fully focused, or i can stop drawing and zone out after 30s
I’m 41 now. But I can remember being 14 in 9th grade. And I was sitting next to a window in math class. The teacher was writing on the board a math equation and explaining how to solve it. I was looking out the window.
After 5 minutes of explaining the concepts of how to solve it, he noticed I hadn’t looked at the board once.
He decided to try to publicly humiliate me by asking me to solve, with the idea being I hadn’t been paying attention. So when he asked someone to solve, and then called my name, without even glancing at the board once, I said “52”. He was taken back, because it wasn’t even a moment of hesitation. I didn’t even glance once at the board.
He thought I was somehow cheating, and got angry. He yelled “How could you possibly know that??? Is someone outside that window helping you???” And comes to look out the window.
So me, being a sarcastic, and now insulted teenager said “Yeah. I got a got man on the inside who’s bugged the room, running special ops surveillance of your teaching agenda. He’s using flag signals to feed me the answers. And when it’s time for gym class, you should see how he’s going to help me cheat running laps. It’s pretty elaborate. He works with the CIA.”
He storms over and sticks his head out the window. I THOUGHT it was implied that I was calling him an idiot for suggesting I was somehow cheating by looking outside. What he was looking for, I have no idea. Every student was losing their shit because they all got the joke. Somehow the teacher was on something else. Then he closes the window shades.
So he makes me stay for detention and calls my dad to school after the school day is over. School lets out at 2:30. My dad doesn’t leave work until 3pm. Which means he doesn’t get to my school until about 3:30. This whole time, him waiting an hour, furiously twitching waiting for my dad to get there. My dad walks in, and before he cal even say a word, not even hello, my teacher is like a chicken clucking it’s head off.
“MR (last name), YOUR SON IS BEING VERY DISRUPTIVE IN MY CLASS TODAY!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID? DO YOOOUUU KNOOOWWW WHAT HE DIIIIIID???”
Keep in mind, it was the late 90s. Cell phones existed, but not even most adults had them yet. And no kids had them. So there would be no feasible way for me to contact a factory worker during the work day, or the drive over. It should have been well understood that I’d have not had contact with him.
And my dad was already annoyed by his tone. He says “Well sure I know what he did. I just got here, you haven’t told me anything, why WOULDN’T I know what’s going on?”
And that just pissed off my teacher more. He says “EARLIER TODAY I WAS TEACHING CLASS, AND I WROTE A FORMULA OUT IN CLASS!!! YOUR SON DIDN’T EVEN LOOK!!! THEN HE JUST LUCKY GUESSED AND GOT IT RIGHT!!! HE WAS LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW, AND SAID CIA AGENTS WERE HELPING HIM IN GYM CLASS!!! I HAD TO CLOSE THE BLINDS!!!”
So my dad, knowing I had to focus on multiple things at once, just said “What were you looking at?” And I said “a cat”. And he says “and did you guess his math equation?” I said “No. He explained the concept for five minutes. I understood the answer in 30 seconds. Then I was bored for 4 and a half minutes.”
Teacher is now back on his bullshit. He writes another, different problem on the board, using the same concepts. He asks me to solve.
So I go up to the board. What he didn’t know was I went to the computer lab instead of lunch. I wrote down this long elaborate calculus problem. Then spent the rest of the day memorising it. Not how to solve it. Just how to write it down. And what the answer was. It’s like an actor reciting lines about topics they have no clue about. They’ll sound right, because they are, but they as an individual will have no idea why.
So he’s just written down that similiar algebra problem. And I walk right past him, and start writing this beast out on the board next to it. I’m just writing from memory, and all the while secretly glancing at his board to solve in my head. I almost screwed up the memorization for a moment, because I was trying to do too much, but they didn’t notice.
So now I’ve written this long piece of shit math out, far beyond a 9th grade level, probably on a masters degree level. Then walked over to his math problem and write “22” as the answer.
Then I said “I’ve solved your equation. Can you solve mine?”
And he just stared and stared and stared. And eventually said “Mr (last name), I’m sorry to have wasted your time.”
On my way out I wrote “48” under my memorized math problem. So that if he tried to solve it later, even if he fot help to do so, and got the right answer he’d see I already got it long before him.
On the way home my dad said “you have no idea what the answer was to the long math you wrote out, do you?” I said “I wrote 48.” And he said “ok, but you have no idea how to solve that on your own, do you?” And I said “Nope.”
brilliant! :D that’s what i’d imagine myself doing in the shower days after, nice quick thinking from your 14yo self
I see you take after your dad.
I swear you are me. Same fucking thing happened to me, except it was my mom that picked me up, and I had to use the library and a calculus textbook to memorize the formula, because 1991-1992 and so the computers were less than helpful for research.
I have a friend who pulled their kid out of public school largely because of posters like this.
The clincher was when they were going over some material about classroom / playground behaviour and bad feelings. They colour coded the feelings, like Blue is Sad and Red is Angry. Yellow was Wiggly, which described most fidgeting behaviours.
Teachers were telling kids that if you had any of the bad feelings you had to quietly sit by yourself until you’re feeling better.
My friend has ADHD and took exception to the idea that being fidgety was a ‘bad’ feeling. And in general, none of these are ultimately bad feelings to have. I mean, nobody really wants to be sad or angry, but telling children they’re bad for having feelings is fucked up no matter how you slice it.
I admit that if a child is disruptively angry, then a timeout is warranted. We have the same rule for adults, and if you can’t control your temper then you need to cool off before you can be civil again. But telling kids that they can’t hang out with their friends if they’re feeling sad or fidgety is just cruel and pointless. It has potential to cause a lot of harm to a child’s development for the sake of ‘classroom discipline’
Anti-human propaganda
I was able to sit still just fine. Unfortunately, I would dissociate to be able to do this and as a result I had no idea what the hell was going on.
I hate the disassociation so much, especially since I have no control over when it happens. I’m always missing the first few words of a conversation when someone starts talking to me and have to use context to figure out what they’re talking about. The worst is when it happens in the middle of a conversation. I’m trying to listen but then suddenly I just tune-out without warning, often without realizing it.
It’s beyond frustrating, especially when you’re trying to have healthy relationships. I come across as uncaring and selfish, which is the worst part. Nobody believes me when I say that I’m trying my hardest to listen.
Hard relate. It really sucks and “active listening skills” do help a lot but it’s no substitute for just… Being able to follow along without incredible amounts of effort.
I feel like sometimes I get grace by brushing it off as “sorry I spaced out what did you say about XYZ?” but that only goes so far.
This is why we invented the word “hello”. It means a conversation is about to start and it’s time to pay attention. When you initiate a conversation, you’re supposed to wait for the other person to say hello back, to indicate they’re ready to pay attention. If your friends don’t say hello and wait for you to say hello back, they’re using bad manners and it’s their fault you weren’t paying attention. Drag thinks this is an easy problem. “Hey buddy, you forgot to wait for me to say hi back. I missed the first five seconds of whatever you said and don’t understand the rest. Let’s try again. Hello, I am listening now.”
Language is actually pretty awesome and has built in accommodations for many disability use cases. You just have to understand how language is your ally, and educate those around you.
Sit still? Be quiet? Fine.
Consciousness falls inward, a galactic space battle with sapient dinosaurs ensues
ADHD-PI has no issues with sitting still and quiet. Focus and paying attention, not so much.
They beat shit like this into me in the 80s along with making eye contact, I can mask with the best of them!
Luckily, this is not a thing anymore. At least not in Canada. We’re in a small rural town in Alberta, so I have to assume we are in pretty much the worst place in Canada for it, too. But my niece has ADHD and they are very inclusive about it now. Chewing gum is allowed, music is allowed, fidgets are allowed, and wiggly chairs are allowed. And none of the other kids in her class are bothered by it, they have their own things too, and they are all learning just fine.
Still a thing in rural USA.
It’s school dependent even in US suburbia. The middle school near me regularly ignores IEP and 503 but the high school goes above and beyond and not only abides, but adlibs, finds things that help and circles back regularly.
I don’t have ADHD, but I imagine this is like showing a picture of a kid standing to one in a wheelchair saying be more like this.
A comparable poster for a regular kid would be standing and facing a corner as punishment.
This poster is describing pure torture for me.
Imagine telling kids to put high heels on for phys ed to help them with running and jumping and basketball. It’s bizarro world nonsense. That’s what this poster is like. This poster is instructions for how to completely zone out and dissociate.
They had posters like these in the therapy room in the special needs school I went to.
Along with the zones of regulation, posters about being assertive, and superheroes coded with different ‘desirable’ behaviours.
Remember: The current School system exists to churn out factory workers not create intellect people
‘twas ever thus.
The fuck is this? “How to be a good citizen” brought to you by Big Brother.
conservatives basically just dress that up to make it sound nicer, but in the end it’s precisely what they aspire to
go figure i’ve ended up on the polar opposite side of the political spectrum and only manage to refrain from shouting about unions because i’m good at masking
I’m pretty sure if my foot ever stops shaking I’ll explode. Church was the worst for me as a kid. My dad would hold my knee down the entire time.
Woof, that sucks.
The church I grew up in, which has a very “high church” liturgical style, just accepts that children make sound. There’s always a constant low-volume noise from anll the kids and people just ignore it. After all, Christ said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
Church shouldn’t be about rigidity or the appearance of perfection, it flies in the face of the core of the Christian religion. But I don’t think most Christians really think about their faith in living terms, they think about the trappings and appearance and going through the proper motions (as is evidenced by the evangelicals flocking to hate-filled shysters like Trump).
While there is certainly spiritual value in the ritual, it cannot be at the expense of the meaning. All rigidity does is make church suck.
Yeah church was terrible for us leg shakers. I still flinch any time someone makes a sudden movement and my leg is shaking because I’m still expecting a back of the head slap.
Brain - Buzzing like a hive full of bees with one person attempting to herd them
Also anti note taking propaganda apparently
in second grade the teacher put my desk on the other side of a bookshelf, separated from the rest of the class. :(
