Like duct tape - my god, what is the world coming to

  • @tetris11
    link
    143 days ago

    ITT: people complaining about (virtually non-existent) people who didn’t get it

      • @tetris11
        link
        23 days ago

        I build my houses out of straw too

    • @AnUnusualRelic
      link
      43 days ago

      I would never have made the connection if someone hadn’t explained.

      I’m not that used to illiteracy.

  • fraksken
    link
    fedilink
    83 days ago

    And chloroform is freely available at your nearest chemist.

  • insomnia
    link
    fedilink
    314 days ago

    These are the same kind of people who freak out when you tell them everyone who has consumed dihydrogen monoxide will die.

    • Dale'sDeadBug
      link
      fedilink
      124 days ago

      I have a laser engraving machine at work that houses a class 3 fiber laser. The amount of people that lose their shit when you open the door to add/remove parts or straight up walk 50ft around the thing is insane. All because of a little sticker that says “Caution- Laser Radiation”. They seem to think it’s a reactor core or something. No matter how many times I’ve explained the difference between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation, and showed them the data sheet and safety interlocks, I get the same one line argument “It says radiation. It’s gonna give everyone here cancer.”

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        33 days ago

        It’s gonna give everyone here cancer.”

        Then they head off to the lake/beach for the weekend to work on their tan.

        • Dale'sDeadBug
          link
          fedilink
          23 days ago

          One of the ladies goes to a tanning salon. These people work with Tetrahydrofuran and Ethylene Chloride, but decided to make this the hill to die on.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        33 days ago

        Does your work have baseboard heaters or radiators? Maybe it’s time to start putting those little stickers on everything that radiates energy

        • Dale'sDeadBug
          link
          fedilink
          13 days ago

          I’ve thought about it, but decided it’s probably not worth getting sent to HR over. Chances are they’d be just as clueless and wouldn’t find the joke very funny. Would be hilarious to watch the chaos unfold though.

    • @nialv7
      link
      154 days ago

      kinda wondered why chlorophyll and chloroform have the same root, it’s not like there’s chlorine in chlorophyll.

      turns out chloro- means yellowish green. TIL.

  • @taiyang
    link
    915 days ago

    Why do the comments feel a bit whooshy on this one?

    That said, I bet you could find a kidnapper starter kit somewhere on the Internet. Fun fact, chloroform doesn’t work the way you think it does— it isn’t instant and it doesn’t last long enough to be of any use like this. Movies have lied to you. Keep this in mind if you have weekend plans with any CEOs near you!

    • @theangryseal
      link
      164 days ago

      Man, I might buy some coyote piss and spray my trash cans to make the raccoons fuck off.

      I don’t want to hurt them, but if that don’t work I’m going airsoft on those assholes. If that don’t work, paintballs.

      I’ve tried everything. I left them some food about 200 yards from my home and they’d eat that and still come and tear my trash cans apart.

      Even if I got the cans with locked lids, it’s an apartment so I’d walk out to find the neighbor’s trash everywhere and they just walk past it like they didn’t see it. I left it once to see how long they’d ignore it. For four days my yard looked like a landfill. No one bothered to touch it,

      It’s easy to see it’s your trash too. I see my one neighbor carrying 12 packs of sprite in every day. Sprite cans litter the yard? Yep. She doesn’t even care.

      Told me once that she would have cleaned it but she didn’t have gloves. I asked her if she had soap and she huffed at me and went inside.

      I’d chop my nuts off to live in a house again.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        64 days ago

        Had a skunk take up residence under my barn. I waited to see if she was gonna have some kits. She was huge! Sure enough I see her with her little ones. Waited for then to leave the nest before I put a radio with country going 24/7. Skunks are solitary generally and don’t like a bunch of noise.

        Racoon’s might need a little different motivation to get the hint. Might look into ultrasonic motion/sound machines.

  • @hperrin
    link
    625 days ago

    You can also buy mustard. Like, hello! All someone has to do is boil that, and they have mustard gas!

    • @nexguy
      link
      254 days ago

      Heinz DOES sound German…

  • @DigiDemiFiend
    link
    394 days ago

    The ratio of comments that get the joke vs comments that don’t is troubling

      • @lemmy_outta_here
        link
        224 days ago

        The amazon reviewer is confusing chloroform (an inhalation anaesthetic that, in movies, is used to knock out people for kidnapping) and chlorophyll (a harmless substance used by plants for photosynthesis)

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          -84 days ago

          There’s even some leaves printed on the product, how does one confuse that? And how am i expected to get that, with no hint to chloroform?

  • Zier
    link
    fedilink
    164 days ago

    People complain about the fake reviews on Amazon (which are illegal now), but it’s the dumb people that are the worst.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    13 days ago

    Chlorophyll doesn’t immediately put you to sleep! Also it burns to inhale, from what I have read.

  • @FreakinSteve
    link
    4
    edit-2
    4 days ago

    Civilization began collapsing after dictionaries were banned worldwide

    • Atelopus-zeteki
      link
      fedilink
      75 days ago

      Also giving us unintended chortles, thanks to our creative friends. And yeah, I do use AmZn to check prices and product availability, but avoid ever buying anything from there.

      • @MutilationWave
        link
        54 days ago

        I drunkenly bought four black balaclavas from Amazon a couple days ago. I was high on copium. Such a stupid decision.