“When the fuck do they expect me to do this?” Being replaced by “perhaps I should work later” is top tier military satire.
No fucking chance of working late voluntarily. Not paid for it. Only do when told to.
My favorite is “Ask me if I give a fuck” being replaced by “Of course I’m concerned!”
This feels like a chain email from 2002.
I do vaguely remember seeing this during the old web days
My favorite part is “Eat shit and die” is addressed to the enlisted (“excuse me” being the replacement) and “Eat shit and die, motherfucker” is addressed to officers (“excuse me, Sir”), because you wouldn’t be saying “sir” to enlisted members.
My favorite layer on top of this is that the “excuse me, sir” maps back to “eat shit and die, motherfucker” regardless of intent
Aint no way thats real right? Thats like shooter games with blood and death being concerned about swearwords in chat.
We were passing this around the office in the 90s as “business etiquette”.
It is a very, very old joke. At least 20odd years old.
Are you asking if the meme in shitpost is real?
That’s “Eat shit and die motherfucker, sir!”
Where the fuck is that leading Sir! It’s “Sir! Eat shit and die motherfucker, Sir!” GUESS WHO’S GETTING AN EXTRA 30 LBS ADDED TO THEIR RUCKSACK ON THE NEXT HUMP!
“I don’t think you understand.”
“I’ll try to schedule that.”
A) it’s fake. The specific squadron would be called out explicitly on that memoradum. Paragraph 1 would definitely have to referenced at least 3 AFIs and paragraph 2 would have definitely (especially being an SFS Memo) disclosed punishment via the UCMJ.
B) that copy paste memo indicates it is from a local security forces commander and definitely not the USAF.
I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I figure I’d note the amount of fakery here since there’s always this kind of mythos that lives a long life.
Everything from the supposed sanctioned DOD standard of 7 wipes of a disk (never was a thing – The Orange Book/NISPOM on e referenced a study by Gutmann in the 90s), that basically training issues stress cards to trainees (been a rumor as if fact since the early aughts and I’m sure earlier), that’s there’s a single bullet and 9mm gun at the top of the flag pole at base command, that the Etherbunny was a thing that happened to a friend’s roommate, that the country will take care of you after you serve and perhaps worst of all – Marines don’t literally eat crayons and it is just a joke.
I believed you until the last point, I’ve seen it myself.
See, you invalidated that whole thing with the last line. Every marine has at least bitten a crayon. Some people have allergies.
Excuse me, sir
Interesting behaviour.
You don’t say.
Excuse me.
I love the challenge
We are committed to the plan
Ahhh I get it. When we would say the right side in pleasant company, we would really say the left side in reality.
“I wasn’t involved in the project” is unlikely to have ever been said out loud, but “it’s not my fucking problem” is the correct phrase.
“Really?” Has never left my lips. “You’ve gotta be shitting me” is something I’ll say 7-10x per code review.
They should sound like a british butler?
“there seems to be a disconnect”
is my favorite professional way to say what the fuck are you talking about?
Your great great grandmother cheated on your great great grandfather with this joke. So fucking old
Golly!
He was a marine not air force
Over Macho Grande?
I am afraid I will never get over Macho Grande. It wasn’t a great picture.
Good heavens!
For added effect, read the right-hand side in the voice of a British aristocrat.
I really need a full table of this. This translates really well to those of us who’ve had blue collar jobs, or anyone who has spent extensive time in the field.
As a former bushrat, this whole thing is so on point.
We had other version suited for the office. For example, “Nice tie!” meant “fuck off” or something. Still looking again for the specific one we used in IT 20 years ago.
I need a copy of that if you find it
