I feel like I saw this on a nature doc, but can’t find any references now. Wild dog packs defecate before hunting, but not for the energy boost. The zoomies are to ensure they leave the scent of their poo in the dust, to minimize the chance of the scent causing them to spook their prey. But a dog doesn’t consciously know that, it’s just a naturally selected behavior that has made them better at surviving.

Do not quote me on this, my all natural intelligence may be hallucinating.

Yes I do and probably will again. Not that time though. It was a photo finish though.

Ah, the art of bushit-o

I’ll do you better, and someone out there may know it’s me.

I once was in a river,

downstream from many givers,

and then began to shiver…

I felt a slide go past my liver.

There I was alone;

the house far, and across stone;

and my south began to groan;

from my lips I droned, “oh no.”

I tried to climb the rise,`

while tightly clamping thighs,

but as I soon surmised,

I couldn’t hold the surprise.

All the river floaters watched,

as my privacy I botched,

there right upon the stony swatch,

what horror flowed right from my crotch.

4 sets of 12 reps each butt clenches, 4 minute static hold of the butt cheeks together, then fart until failure.