• the_weez
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    11014 days ago

    You move that gods damned line to include Michigan. Right fucking now.

  • @[email protected]
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    14 days ago

    On behalf of California, we accept this proposal, and we accept Canada as our new federal government.

    I also propose we officially refer to the remainder of the US as “Dumbfuckistan”.

  • @glimse
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    5914 days ago

    ITT: People pretending that Oregon, Michigan, and probably Washington don’t have a huge population of total fuckos.

    Carve a line down the coasts. You don’t want the whole state. And while you’re at it, take the lakes and Chicago

    • @WhoLooksHere
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      14 days ago

      Canada also has its own population of total fucks. We keep them in the prairies. However like those states, it might be leaning more towards wanting that?

      Disclaimer: not a source, just an ass on the internet.

    • @Atropos
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      14 days ago

      Yeah, East side of the cascades in OR and WA is extremely conservative. But they are currently hopelessly outnumbered.

      • @[email protected]
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        14 days ago

        It’s the same in BC, east of the Cascades is also extremely conservative while coastal west side is where most of the liberals are. Even a good chunk west of the mountains are pretty conservative, it’s mostly just directly within the Vancouver greater area that’s liberal and then the island.

        • @Velonie
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          114 days ago

          The Kootenays aren’t conservative either

    • @[email protected]
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      14 days ago

      We had to accept Oregon in order to draw a line down to California. We sure as FUCK aren’t accepting Idaho.

      • @glimse
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        214 days ago

        You don’t have to take states in their entirety, you know. No reason you can’t split them up

    • @blazeknave
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      814 days ago

      How about sky bridges between fortified independent city state enclaves?

      • @glimse
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        314 days ago

        I’d take it.

    • @TheDoozer
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      614 days ago

      Eastern Washington people have been wanting to separate from Western Washington for a really long time. Western Washington is like “well fuckin do it.” But nobody actually tries to secede because EW’s dependent on WW’s economy.

      • @glimse
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        314 days ago

        Exactly. Canada should only take the west half.

    • @[email protected]
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      414 days ago

      So…there’s a correlation between a lack of access to large bodies of water, and support for trump ?

      • @glimse
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        714 days ago

        Big cities tend to get build near water and denser populations (exposure to a greater variety of people) tends to make them people less conservative.

        The more remote you are, the more likely you are to be isolated in an echo chamber of xenophobia.

    • @KoalaUnknown
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      214 days ago

      Oregon is already trying to redraw their state border with Idaho. Could just do that.

  • @isyasad
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    5214 days ago

    Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I’ll also throw in Hawaii for free.

    • @RagingRobot
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      3514 days ago

      We should give Texas to Mexico just to spite them

    • @Qwazpoi
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      12 days ago

      Having Arizona would be a big L for Canada

      • @[email protected]
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        13 days ago

        You’d have to create a corridor through Southern Idaho and Northern Utah to join the new state of “New Mexirado” with the rest if you removed Arizona… Hard work, but I believe it could be done.

        • @Goodmorningsunshine
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          313 days ago

          As a New Mexican, I approve either of these options to join Canada

      • @Sweetpeaches69
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        414 days ago

        Yeah, but how else do they get Colorado and New Mexico?

    • @FanciestPants
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      1414 days ago

      Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.

      • @[email protected]
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        1214 days ago

        Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do

        Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.

    • @UnderpantsWeevil
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      14 days ago

      Y’all are going to regret taking Arizona. And, frankly, everything in California not in view of the coast.

    • @[email protected]
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      314 days ago

      Listen.

      MD will take Pennsylvania and bring it into new Canadania as long as we can bring West Virginia with us too.

      They’re dumb but they’re our dumbs.

      • @[email protected]
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        13 days ago

        You don’t wan the middle of PA… Maybe if they just turn everything between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh into a weapons testing site? Turn it into “no man’s land” like it was always mean to be.

    • @leadore
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      14 days ago

      A couple tweaks: Include Illinois and the eastern part of Pennsylvania. (edit: I see you did get Chicago, maybe just go a bit further south?).

  • arglebargle
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    4614 days ago

    I hate so say it, but you should grab Michigan and Wisconsin. Much like a girl I used to know: We can fix her, and she has huge lakes that I find appealing. Or something like that.

    • @Jeremyward
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      213 days ago

      Huge, COLD, lakes mind you.

      • arglebargle
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        414 days ago

        Yeah, it sucks. But Look at that map. Those lakes are fairly important. Well either that or do a Robert Evans plan and just nuke them.

      • @knexcar
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        314 days ago

        No, I’m living there now, and the city I’m in feels like a wannabe California (aka liberal, techy, high housing costs, etc)

          • @Bgugi
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            313 days ago

            Wisconsin has three major cities with VERY different personalities. One of them is very Portland/silicon valley (in its own Midwest-y way), one is borderline detroit-y, the other is an overgrown suburbia.

          • @knexcar
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            213 days ago

            Yes, a city in Wisconsin.

      • @Jerb322
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        213 days ago

        What the fuck did you just say?! Are you suggesting that we are inbred? Alabama! Fuck you!

      • @Hoomod
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        213 days ago

        Wississippi

        Only state to have (I think) four presidential elections decided by less than 1%.

        The states motto is “Forward” and it used to be one of the most progressive states, but it was also the testing ground for the Koch bros media network, that plus the gerrymandering from 2010 really set us back.

  • Phoenixz
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    4014 days ago

    Seriously, why isn’t the Canadian government offering US states to join them? It would be the perfect response to Trumps bullshit.

    You want Canada to submit to the US? Hey Oregon, California, and the others, wanna join us instead?

    If California leaves the US it would fucking bankrupt the US.

  • @buzz86us
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    3414 days ago

    Oh man I’d love to see the civil unrest in the red States when they don’t have us new Yorkers to give them their welfare payments.

    • @[email protected]
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      1814 days ago

      Same from the west coast. If only cali oregon and washington could just be a west coast alliance separate from the rest of the problem states.

  • sp3ctr4l
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    14 days ago

    If you go by recent province/state wide election results:

    Alberta, Saskatchewan and probably Manitoba go to Jesusland.

    … And Colorado and New Mexico, and Illinois become exclaves like Kaliningrad.

    CO+NM is exceptionally fucked because its landlocked, and almost in a Lesotho situation (being wholly surrounded by a single other country) were it not for Mexico…

    Though I guess Illinois would not be much better off as Jesusland would likely claim it owns all of Lake Michigan beyond 50 miles of Illinois’ shore.

    And Virginia actually went for Harris, so that’s also part the United States of Canada.

    • @DaddleDew
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      14 days ago

      Actually, only 19% of Albertans would want to join the US according to this poll . I’m surprised too. It really looks like these people are a loud minority. Or that at least being more conservative doesn’t necessarily mean wanting to become part of the US.

        • @NotMyOldRedditName
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          414 days ago

          I want the Albertan’s who want to join the US to GTFO and go to the US, but no, I don’t want to split the country in two.

      • sp3ctr4l
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        14 days ago

        Im going by functional votes for a conservative head of state, not wanting to join another country… or seceede, cough Quebec cough Texas cough.

    • Phoenixz
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      514 days ago

      Colorado and NM should totally join Mexico, they’d be better off there

      • @Sweetpeaches69
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        114 days ago

        As a New Mexican, at this point, I’d be down.

        • Phoenixz
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          110 days ago

          Mexico is really quite amazing ina lot of things. Nothing you see in TV, basically

    • @[email protected]
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      114 days ago

      Last election turnout was heavily influenced by Netanyahu. Swing states in general are more open to better options than Trump, that Harris just failed to impress. Trade with Canada important to all of them.

    • Maple Engineer
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      14 days ago

      -Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).

      -Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).

      -Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).

      -Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.

      -Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.

      -You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.

      -Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.

      -Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).

      -The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.

      and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).

      (We couldn’t find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)

      • @[email protected]
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        13 days ago

        Imagine how much worse all of those statistics will get once they absorb large chunks of the US!

        • Maple Engineer
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          913 days ago

          I can assure you that the vast majority of Canadians are well aware of that fact and totally disinterested in become part of the US or taking on any part thereof.

          Americans joining Canada would have to give up their guns and other weapons, compete that training and licensing processes, and if successful would have the revocable and modifiable privilege of owning a very small selection of approved guns. They would have to accept that religious freedom in Canada, which is much higher than in the US, means that you are free to practice your religion in any way you choose as long as it doesn’t effect anyone else’s rights and you are free to have no religion at all. They would have to accept that it is settled law in Canada that a woman’s healthcare decisions are between her and her healthcare provider and none of anyone else’s business. They would have to accept that everyone has the right to marry, has had the right for decades, and that the only thing destroy traditional marriage is traditionally married people. They would have to accept that free speech in Canada does not include racism or hate speech. Most Americans would not fit in in Canada and we are not interested in becoming Americans and giving up the things that make us the best country in the world.

        • @Goodmorningsunshine
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          413 days ago

          Not really. Canada’s getting all the states that are doing the heavy lifting in those shitty numbers. If not for them, every metric would be worse.

      • Victor
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        514 days ago

        How are you now ✋

      • @pressanykeynow
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        313 days ago

        Wouldn’t you get most of the millionaires and billionaires by including California and New York and the stats will start going to the US level or worse?

      • @Snowclone
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        113 days ago

        How about prison pop? We making progress there?

        • Maple Engineer
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          13 days ago

          Canada is 85 per 100,000 and the US is 146 per 100,000. Canada is a world leader in Corrections. We are focused on rehabilitation and reintegration. That’s why whenever there is a breakdown of a government Correctional Service Canada is on the Nation Building team that the UN sends in to help rebuild. I worked at CSC for 25 years and knew a guy who was on the UN plane that crashed in Kosovo during the Nation Building exercise there.

        • Maple Engineer
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          413 days ago

          Because despite what the neo-fascists in the US (and in Alberta and the Conservative party) say it is very difficult to move to Canada. We don’t have open borders.

    • @Snapz
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      214 days ago

      Is this an unlabeled bad joke that’s too close to what an actual idiot would say in real life?

  • DankOfAmerica
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    2514 days ago

    lol @ New Hampshire

    Also, that would be about 37% of the US economy. California making the highest percentage at 14% of the US economy while New York would be in 2nd place at 8%. The least impactful would be Vermont with 0.2% (for got to include Rhode Island). However, I think this would wreck the world economy with the financial hub of the US (New York City) who manages the investments of world’s reserve currency (dollar) would switch from US Dollar to Canadian Dollar. The US would also lose access to the Pacific and a considerable amount of military force stationed in the West Coast states.

    • @Donkter
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      1014 days ago

      Not to mention half of the important US ports. The states left would face a harsh reality when everything tripled in price as all the goods that used to be subsidized by the rich states are now hit with import taxes as well.

      • @Agrivar
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        914 days ago

        As a resident of New England, I’m ok with all of these changes.

      • @[email protected]
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        314 days ago

        It would be harsh both ways when the US damns the Colorado River, and California really dries out.

    • @[email protected]
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      214 days ago

      lol @ New Hampshire

      fuckyouinparticular

      The US would also lose access to the Pacific

      donvict’s gonna invade panama to take the canal back, remember? nbd.

  • @[email protected]
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    15 days ago

    Excuse me but that incorporation of California, Oregon, Washington and British Columbia gets in the way of the glorious Long Chile Project. We shall be having words.

    (By all means do take MN, CT and WDC tho.)

  • nifty
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    2114 days ago

    WI and MI want in on that, for sure

    Well, MI at least

    • @piecat
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      1214 days ago

      Milwaukee and Madison at least…

      • @[email protected]
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        814 days ago

        I can tell you that a large part of that was as a spite non-vote against Harris due to her not speaking up against Israel. Less about supporting Agent Orange, and more about not supporting the genocide of Palestinians by the very large arab and Muslim population in SE Michigan.

        • @[email protected]
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          013 days ago

          spite non-vote

          lol… well that non-vote got you a president who is absolutely going to be a lot worse for Palestinians than Harris.

          I had and observed several arguments with single issue Palestinian crisis “voters” who flat out refused to hold their nose and vote for the obviously less damaging candidate before the election.

          so sit and spin, if you are an American and either didn’t vote, or you voted for trump; you have nothing to say worth listening to…

          I’m sure all the dead Palestinians will thank you while Trump is pouring petrol on the genocide fire

    • @[email protected]
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      314 days ago

      As somebody from Wisconsin I will say that I don’t approve of us being excluded, but I also can’t blame them.

      • nifty
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        213 days ago

        I’d include you