To be fair, this dude singlehandedly carried out a submarine attack.
A ballistic missile is a type of missile that follows a ballistic trajectory and is powered only during a relatively brief initial period—most of the flight is unpowered.
It’s practically an act of war if you think about it.
The DoJ is on the hunt, for bread October.
The Cunt for Bread October.
Hoagie handgrenade.
A real Hogans hero
The US Attorney prosecuting misdemeanors as a priority now? How much more desperate is this adminstation trying to appear?
It’s only a misdemeanor because the injuries sustained were only categorized as boo-boos. If they had been ouchies, we would be looking at felony charges.
You don’t understand, he could smell the mustard! He probably hates mustard!
Don forget about the onions!!
Only monsters don’t like- oh, right
It was French’s mustard, clearly an illegal immigrant sandwich. This Dunn guy was aiding an illegal alien’s assault of an officer.
Worse, it was Dijon Mustard, Communist Kenyan Mustard!
JFC these people are such fucking baby clowns.
Woops, put a whole hell of a lot of cayenne peppers in there!
Now… if that’s an attack with a chemica agent weapon… what is shooting someone in the face with a pepperball round?
They tried for felony charges. Multiple times. The grand juries (plural) refused to indict.
Yeah, this literally keeps getting laughed out of court.
Thank god they were wearing vest, they could have died!
Double parking is now a life sentence.
It’s not about the act itself, but about what it represents: resistance to the new regime. He needs to be made an example of just for that.
This is still the “faking it” phase of “faking it till you make it.” Their heroic victim narrative requires a criminal conviction, whatever the charge. So yes, they’re desperate, like every con artist is desperate to maintain the facade until they secure the prize.
Yes yes, we all know a conviction won’t disprove the obvious fact that they are hysterical infants in media tantrum, but like when she was still a screeching TV head, their Fox News anchor US Attorney is performing for an audience of one.
Sweaty.
3:00 beer goggles desperate
“What is the charge? Throwing a meal? A succulent cold-cut meal?”
“This is democracy manifest!”
I love that this meme will never die.
“…and you, sir- are you waiting to receive my limp sandwich?”
Assault with a deli weapon
::: spoiler
I blatantly stole this one from another user that I can’t find or link to, but thanks for the great pun, fellow lemming.
For those who thought this guy was past this…
A grand jury refused to indict Dunn on a felony assault count, part of a pattern of pushback against the Justice Department’s prosecution of surge-related criminal cases. After the rare rebuke from the grand jury, U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro’s office charged Dunn instead with a misdemeanor.
Technically, it was a “meat sandwich” thrown at “point-blank range” only to “explode” all over.
*actual language from the trial. Probably the hottest action meal-team 6 ever got.
“I had to smell onions!”
They were into that.
Clearly Trump is trying to make an example of him. A jury trial for a single misdemeanor? Either way, there’s good odds he’ll be financially ruined by the lawyer bill. A trial is a minimum of $15k to start.
This will become an exemplar for We The People to self police going forward.
If he hasn’t crowd funded his legal expenses it’s because he’s actively choosing not to. He could be grifting this so hard.
Is it a grift if you need the money for the stated purpose?
No, I mean he could raise way more than his defense will cost. He’s kind of one of the mythic figures of the resistance.
When the early revolution is recorded to history, we’ll remember such luminaries as the Portland Frog, Polka Dot Lady, and Sandwich Guy.
He probably could. IDK what people would do with the extra in that case, but even if they kept it I wouldn’t call it a grift. A grift is basically synonymous with scam. It requires being deceptive of either the purpose of collecting money or in the goods/service being provided.
Raising funds for self defense isn’t a grift. Do you not know what that word means?
Edit this comment and don’t call it a grift. Helping people fight fascist is not the same as biggots gifting after losing their job for attending Nazi rallies.
A jury trial for a single misdemeanor?
That’s your right. The defendant can choose whether to have a jury or bench trial.
Clearly in this case you want the jury. You want them to look at the ridiculousness of the case and throw it the fuck out regardless of the legality.
Felony Footlong
If corporations are people, then sandwiches are speech.
Assault with a deli weapon.
If you throw a soft fluffy pillow or a submarine sandwich the punishment is the same? What about intent? Does that come into play? Oh, I forgot, there is no law anymore, just retribution.
Same punishment as a brick, or acid, or a bunch of razors. Really makes you think.
How about feathers? Straight to jail?
I’m selling loose, dead D and C cell batteries. No reason, I just have lots
Found the Philly resident.
Just a Mainer that studied the Philadelphia School of Sport Win/Loss Celebration/Riot
While it is of course illegal to throw anything at anyone this should be treated as civil disobedience or an act causing negligible societal harm and be dismissed.
I feel like this should just be a fine. Seems like a waste of resources.
Shouldn’t even be a fine, it was a fucking sandwich.
I think the charges should be dismissed and he should be compensated for this bullshit
Even a bad example is a good example of a bad example.
I mean that sandwich could have ignited and sprayed out noxious chemicals that irritated his eyes and throat, oh wait that’s fucking tear gas those racist fascist cowards are actual using on civilians.
that sandwich had a REALLY HARD CRUST dude!
They need for this to be a crime, otherwise it sets a precedent of what can be legally done to a federal agent without legally sanctioned retaliation.
I keep wondering when people will start throwing rotten tomatoes at ICE chuds…
