I had to live with my dad until I was 24 and found the experience excruciating. Can’t imagine making it to 38
I moved out at 19 and it was the best decision I ever made. My 2 younger siblings stayed a lot longer and apart from the cheap cost of living (it was pretty late that my dad started charging them rent and even then it was barely anything) I really never understood how they put up with it
yeah, i had some friends who lived at home for a couple of years after college… all they did was complaint relentless about their parents. but they also just refused to move out because they didn’t want to pay rent or have roommates and would tell me I was a chump for paying rent and have roommates, and then I’d say how not living with your parents is the best. and they’d get so mad at me and not talk to me for a couple of weeks.
still, some people actually get along with their parents are are friendly with them and like being around them. blessed bastards, they are.
bout what Id expect out of a chan
OP was raised like an animal in cage and punished for any sign of having initiative. Now he lives in the prison inside his own mind
There is a lot of valuable materials inside flock cameras that can be sold for profit.
And if you get caught and end up with prison sentence, you get free food and shelter. Win-win
Ooh deadass? I don’t think they have them in my city let alone country yet, but when they come, I’ll be ready
Lots of copper.
May a person never become this incompetent. ☮️
I moved out at 17, got married at 20, bought a house at 22. I also have been working since I was 12. After forty years of working, I still have nothing saved except some home equity.
go to work for wallyworld. aint much but better than nothing
this happened to me at only 19. I was homeless for 4 months after.
I’m in the same boat. Plus I was “unschooled” with neglectful mentally ill parents so my education REALLY suffered. Funnily enough I’ll be turning 38 soon… but I’ve been working hard for decades and have a career and family of my own now thankfully
It sucks at 19 and isn’t really fair because getting started is so much harder these days. Now imagine you were twice as old and had never tried to do anything with your life.
I regularly tell my parents that the reason I am not like so many Americans, is that I have a supportive family. I live with my parents, but I would likely be homeless if they weren’t here for me.
But like … You do work or go to school or at least try to do something besides just mooch, right? This guy never even tried, apparently for two decades after high school
The government has wasted at least 176 Billion dollars in Iran over the past three months, the leader of our society has siphoned at least 2 Billion in the past two years, data centers with near zero product are draining the water and electricity from communities all over the country while playing hot potato with hundred of billions more, and you’re calling your peer a mooch for feeling unable to participate.
I would like to think so? Even so, I do pay my parents 500 a month as rent.
Yeah, he would probably be homeless if he didn’t have an overly supportive family I think.
There’s a definite difference between renting below market rate from your family and being a 37 year old who’s never had a job, can’t drive etc.
Me at 22. Was homeless as well. I make decent money now almost twenty years later and I still look at prices and think back when I used to dumpster dive.
Back in the day, I used to eat pretty well out of dumpsters. Wasn’t really homeless, was living in an old caravan, but was proper broke.
These days, at least round here, they lock up the dumpsters, have security guards, or deliberately contaminate the food. Wankers.
Living out of a car or living on friend’s couches is considered homelessness. It’s why some people say unhoused instead.
The works of the roots of the vines, of the trees, must be destroyed to keep up the price, and this is the saddest, bitterest thing of all. Carloads of oranges dumped on the ground. The people came for miles to take the fruit, but this could not be. How would they buy oranges at twenty cents a dozen if they could drive out and pick them up? And men with hoses squirt kerosene on the oranges, and they are angry at the crime, angry at the people who have come to take the fruit. A million people hungry, needing the fruit- and kerosene sprayed over the golden mountains. And the smell of rot fills the country. Burn coffee for fuel in the ships. Burn corn to keep warm, it makes a hot fire. Dump potatoes in the rivers and place guards along the banks to keep the hungry people from fishing them out. Slaughter the pigs and bury them, and let the putrescence drip down into the earth.
There is a crime here that goes beyond denunciation. There is a sorrow here that weeping cannot symbolize. There is a failure here that topples all our success. The fertile earth, the straight tree rows, the sturdy trunks, and the ripe fruit. And children dying of pellagra must die because a profit cannot be taken from an orange. And coroners must fill in the certificate- died of malnutrition- because the food must rot, must be forced to rot. The people come with nets to fish for potatoes in the river, and the guards hold them back; they come in rattling cars to get the dumped oranges, but the kerosene is sprayed. And they stand still and watch the potatoes float by, listen to the screaming pigs being killed in a ditch and covered with quick-lime, watch the mountains of oranges slop down to a putrefying ooze; and in the eyes of the people there is the failure; and in the eyes of the hungry there is a growing wrath. In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage.
- The Grapes of Wrath
I get that we’re in the age of AI and fuck the artist but cite your sources man
glad you’re doing good now. just as a little secret, I still dumpster dive to this day honestly… it’s how I got every piece of furniture in my house except my bed. gotta save where ya can lol.
Is no one here going to tell me why this is fake and gay? WTF do I come to the greentext community for? Just serious comments about people’s own experiences? Fucking shameful
Is no one here going to tell me why this is fake and gay?
Given the type of person who frequents 4chan, it is likely the most heteronormative and real-ass thing ever posted in green.
Well it’s gay because OP has touched dick more than he’ll ever touch a woman.
Idk about fake though. It tracks pretty much with what I’ve known the average 4channer to be like.
my own experience is fake and gay.
Very very gay
Because it describes perfect average 4chan dweller. It can’t get any more real than that.
Poor guy, they failed him
Tamaki Saitō’s book Hikikomori is worth a read on this
Horrible parenting tbh. And their son reminds them everyday how they failed as parents so they’re just kicking him out.
Yep, I think kicking your kids out when they turn 18 is fucked. But, it’s better to do it at 18 than 38.
I don’t know what the solution is, but it’s not this.
I don’t know what the solution is
Teaching your kid independence from the start, primarily independence from you.
Yes, I guess I should have clarified, I don’t know what the solution is in this situation (person is already 38 and has zero independence).
Horrible parenting tbh
Yep. People aren’t getting broken like that randomly. They’re raised to be this way.
Depending on where they live in the us and assuming it’s real, all he’ll need to do is get to a shelter. Make it clear that he needs help, then do the things asked. This all assumes he is mentally stable and physically well. there are programs but they do not hold your hand. They are not great, they are not the best as compared to other countries, but it is something. If he clean on drug tests and criminal there are many places that will take him. It won’t be pleasant.
If he has any documented physical health issues, then he needs to get a disability lawyer going.
As many pointed out, this world is grossly difficult and Unfair, but as long as one is kind, truthful, and continues to try, people will at least attempt to help, or at least tell you honestly they can’t.
I don’t want my tax money being used to shelter 4chan users 😤
Do you believe that having a roof over your head is a human right? I certainly do. Yes even the most detestable people in the world deserve a roof over their heads, with a place to sleep, and a functioning toilet and shower and some space to store their belongings.
This should be the bare minimum that all people are guaranteed by society but apparently that’s a very high bar
Too bad. That 4chan dweller has same voting power as you.
Don’t assume that, you don’t know how much election fraud I do
all he’ll need to do is get to a shelter
Famously very luxurious, accommodating, and safe places to live long term. There’s never a space shortage. You get three squares a day of very tasty and nutrious faire, no questions asked. There’s never any kind of Kafka-esque bureaucracy to gaining entrance, much less obligations on the people in the shelter to maintain residence. It’s definitely not boring. Nobody is ever exploited. Mental health of all the residents is top notch and you never experience and physical violence or emotional abuse while there.
It won’t be pleasant.
Understatement.
If he has any documented physical health issues, then he needs to get a disability lawyer going.
“I’m broke, I have no transportation, and I’m about to be homeless”
“Have you talked to your lawyer about it?”
I feel like you are being a cunt on purpose, most of those points where addressed in the comment. Ok the lawyer one needed clarification. Disability lawyers are a little easier (not easy, easier) to obtain while in a homeless and jobless state. Starting off pro bono and eventually getting paid from the state in one way or another, or thro charities/non profits is not uncommon for them.
Yes it was a understatment about shelter life. But you got so dum and smarmy about it. Its still better that the fucking street. (at least in an american east coast city). Yea your still gonna get robbed, but their is a much lower chance of getting stomped, lit on fire, or just fucking raped.
What is this template?
Running on the assumption this is authentic and heterosexual, Anon’s parents massively dropped the ball creating an adult with no will to fly the coop. But then to cut them off cold turkey is totally fucked up. Anon is now permanently 15 years behind their peers. Not to mention zero retirement savings. That compounded interest takes 30-35 years to really start to matter. But Anon gets to miss out on 15 years of that, too.
I really hope things work out in the end.
My wife’s cousin is in a similar situation. She never left home or got a job or a driver’s license because she was always too scared, and her mom always let that slide, since she didn’t want to make her daughter scared or uncomfortable.
She thought her job was to protect her daughter from all the stresses of the world until she was ready, but failed to understand that she won’t be ready until she’s experienced some of those stresses in a controlled environment like most kids do when they’re in their teens and their parents push them to get a job and a license.
It came from a place of kindness, but ended up being a major mistake that now both the kid and the parent are paying for.
I knew a girl who had been “homeschooled” by her super Christian mom. Thankfully, the indoctrination didn’t take, she was intelligent, but wasn’t given the education she deserved. Moreover, she developed anxiety and would take ages to leave the house for planned events. Turns out that by babying her and never pushing her boundaries, she never learned that critical inner-push that all of us who’ve ever woken up and been like, “Ughhh, I don’t want to go to school/work today” have spent years overcoming. That sense of, “Well, I’ve gotta do it, so let’s just get up and get it done” didn’t develop, as she was allowed to just stay in or sleep or whatever instead of learning to tolerate the discomfort.
It always bugged me when parents treat their offspring as if they’ll forever be children, instead of treating them as future adults. These stories are the inevitably outcome of that.
A big reason why the western idea of every single person should always leave home and start a new household is fucking retarded. Its not the right fit for everyone. Hell its objectively fucking stupid in the VAST majority of cases. Many do it any ways for various reasons. But the whole normality of it being “the only correct way to live” needs to fucking die.
american society wants young people to move out and get their own house sothat housing prices go up (which is good for everyone owning / selling / renting out houses, but not for those who then have to rent them)
Sure, but being independent is still an important general life skill. You can rely on other people under normal circumstances, and that’s certainly not a bad thing, but there will always be scenarios in life where you need to figure things out for yourself. If you’re paralyzed with anxiety when that happens, that means there’s a skill you unfortunately were unable to learn that is now causing an issue.
And in these multi-generational homes what you see is the kids accepting the conditions based on them becoming the providers. I feel the comment is this is not happening.
I’ll take your thought process a step further here. I blame parents who raise children that dont leave for having children in the first place. Stop having children. Spay and neuter yourself. BOGO vasectomies for the people! Lol. Sorry, this one got a little away from me.
Again, assuming this has any basis in reality, I think it’s likely that the parents have made many attempts to get the guy to change before and this is the last resort. They probably didn’t wait 38 years and then one day just decided “this is it”.
yeah, this is likely more a case of fighting/ignoring mom and dad and them finally bringing down the banhammer.
or maybe mom and dad want to fucking retire… god forbid! since if he is 38 they are most likely 65+
in that case you arrange for a bachelor apartment for the guy. hes a human being after all.
The dude is 38 and never got off his ass. How long are you going to enable this? They already did for two decades.
His parents are almost certainly 65+ and cannot afford to support themselves and a leech.
Calm down, pal! I’m sure mum will bring the tendies soon.
My parents made sure to give me a will to fly the coop by making sure I couldn’t fucking stand to be around them
I almost think OP’s situation with 20 years of enablement is worse because it offers a persistent safety net, then rips it away
My parents made sure to give me a will to fly the coop by making sure I couldn’t fucking stand to be around them
yeah i get the impression too that some parents are intentionally abusive sothat their children leave the house as soon as possible
nevermind the money that could be saved by multi-generational households.
Something tells me they have been trying to get him out for the last decade (or two), and he decided to sit on his ass till the consequences finally hit. Worse, he appears to still be sitting on his ass even though the consequences are in motion.
to cut them off cold turkey
How are you reading it that way?
Having to “beg dad for money when I want a pizza” doesn’t sound like someone being coddled, it sounds like someone who’s been told a thousand times to get a damn job and move out. Plus they’re not even kicking OOP out immediately, they’re giving them until their birthday.
I mean it is obviously fake, but still
This situation may sound ridiculous, but I’ve got a cousin over 40 in essentially the same position. Never worked a day in her and still lives with her parents. No one really knows what’s going to happen when they pass, but no one appears willing to let her live with them. Myself included. Not that i’vd be her first choice anyway. I live half way across the country.
probably end up homeless
Even worse they raised a kid with no will to fly the coop AND they rejected a intergrated multigenerational house hold.
Most cultures on earth and for most of history you lived with your family your entire life, or moved to another house hold. To start a new household was abnormal.
So you either need to raise your kid to the new standard to want to stand on their own and start their own household. Or you embrace the old and stay together and create a multigenerational household.
To do neither is objectively abuse.
AND they rejected a intergrated multigenerational house hold
If he was living at home, paying a portion of all the bills, and overall carrying his weight, then sure. But, that is not the case, not at all.
No point in saving. The climate is fucked and we will unironically die in the water wars.
I think this year’s summer really drove that home
Yeah time to kick him out was when he was 20ish +/- 1 year. Since you get a very good idea by that point if that adult is able to take care of himself. I have 3 people in my life (2 cousins, 1 family friend). Who are in that exact situation. I knew even when they were 20 that they’re not given the right skillet to ever be independent. And have no motivation to be independent on their own. Now they’re all in their 30s. I always their parents talking to my parents about how to make them independent and refuse to still cut them cold turkey.
I mean parents fucked up for sure, but it’s not too uncommon unfortunately. All I ever remind those parents is, I will not help someone who isn’t trying to help themselves. I’m not even close to them. But 2 out of 3 have tried asking me for money.
You’ll never make it without a good skillet
Skillet is the secret of a good life
Yeah, even when I was on good terms with my father I knew that as soon as I finished schooling there was a timer on how long I was allowed to stay with him, and it certainly wasn’t years. Like a week or two after graduating college I moved in with my now ex
authentic and heterosexual
Is this a phrase I’m unaware of? Or what does his sexuality have to do with it?
It’s an older 4chan/internet meme where everyone calls an original post and the poster “fake and gay”.
Ahh got it, thanks for clearing it up!
Its not “cold turkey”, because hes had 15 years to work on it. If he hasn’t, then it’s kind of left over Turkey from last weeks thanks giving which has already been re-heated several times.
The best time to kick him out was 15 years ago. The second best time is now.
How’s the state pension over there? Here in the UK its pretty good, if you have paid off your house anyway. I would be richer than I am now from working if I had a pension but no mortgage.
If you also had to pay housing then it could be kinda rough, but I have lived alright on less.
You get a pension in retirement (called Social Security), but you need to be of retirement age and have had a job in the past. You get full benefits if you were employed for at least 10 years.
You can also get disability payments if there is something preventing you from working.
State pension, in the US? A laughable concept. Best anon could hope for is Supplemental Security Income (SSI), a program for people who are disabled, are unable to work, and have never worked. There’s a lengthy application process involving clinical records of the disabling condition, not everyone who applies is approved, and the maximum benefit is about $950/month, relegating you to extreme poverty forever
It’s also worth mentioning that you have to reapply for disability benefits regularly, justifying yourself with several page paper forms every time. Even people with permanent disabilities have to reapply, as if the nerve damage from an accident or the congenital condition they were born with might suddenly go away. My girlfriend can’t write more than a few lines before the pain from her disability makes it too difficult, and they expect her to fill out what is practically a small pamphlet by hand every couple years. If it were at least a digital form, she could use speech-to-text to help her get through it, but as it stands she needs somebody else (last time it was me) to hand-write her answers.
The hoops the government puts out for disabled people to redeem benefits are straight-up cruel. They really want people to just give up, not apply at all, and… I dunno, just die, I guess?
I’m sorry your girlfriend is having to go through that. I gotta be honest, I’ve never heard of someone having to reapply for benefits unless their benefits were turned off, either due to incarceration or failure to utilize their money so it piled up in an account until they had too many assets and were disqualified from the program. Also, all the correspondence for this benefit is typed and printed, I’ve never heard of anyone having to hand write anything. This is in reference to SSI (Supplemental Security Income).
The government totally puts up all kinds of blocks to obtaining SSI though, most people genuinely cannot do it themselves due to the complexity of the process
The forms state you must reapply every year and do so promptly or risk not getting benefits. No matter who you are or what your disability is (except maybe the terminally ill?). At every turn they remind you not being prompt enough may result in a delay or outright rejection of your application.
All of the handwriting together probably amounts to a 1-1.5 page paper/essay equivalent with freeform questions about the disability, background, what you can/can’t do, a detailed description of what you do day-to-day, doctor contact information, etc, and they’ll just call you for it again later when you already detailed everything in the application itself. And yeah, this is all mailed to you after the online application process that can take a couple hours.
It’s pretty awful, even considering how bad bureaucratic process can be.
Are you able to figure out exactly what benefit this is for? I’d be interested to hear. It’s def not SSI
It is, SSI for disability
I might be confusing the yearly reapply with medicaid, but there are regular hoops to jump through, once you’ve already been accepted, to maintain disability benefits. Iirc terminal illness and the elderly are excluded, but not permanent disability. Like you have to keep telling them you’re missing a leg or some nonsense
£700/month without a mortgage to pay would be great. Its comparable to what I was earning from an apprenticeship when I first moved out once adjusted for inflation…
Sorry, you’re going to have to pay for housing too lol.
Oh, and if you work just a little, your benefit is decreased by the amount you earn, and if you earn more than $2500 in a year, the benefit is totally taken away.
So there is no incentive to get a part time job? Lol, what a dumb system.
It’s not dumb, it’s intentionally designed to hurt people
It also goes away if you marry someone
