Fetterman is nothing if not amusing.

  • Bahnd Rollard
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    2501 year ago

    Why does Fetterman, the largest senator, not simply eat the other senators?

    • @PetDinosaurs
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      441 year ago

      That’s awesome, as is everything I know about fetterman.

      It is very strange how much life has changed since even this extremely dated reference was made.

      My kid just started kindergarten. The principal and some of his teachers have visible tattoos.

      My kindergarten teacher was an ex nun who refused to let me write with my left hand.

      • archomrade [he/him]
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        1 year ago

        One of my wife’s coworkers used to be in a death metal ska band and has the piercings to prove it.

        Though he is considerably less badass in a 9-5 office, but it does make you wonder what he has playing on his headphones all day.

    • @[email protected]
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      271 year ago

      I heard your senator went into the senate and ate everything in the senate and they had to close the senate!

      • @PetDinosaurs
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        251 year ago

        Am I out of touch?

        No! the constituents are wrong!

    • TechyDad
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      111 year ago

      They must be saving that for Sweeps Week.

    • @Foggyfroggy
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      91 year ago

      He already started, this is why he is the size of two mortal men. He hasn’t reached his final form

    • Evie
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      41 year ago

      Like eat him… to shreds… you say???

  • @[email protected]
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    1191 year ago

    I sometimes wonder if I live in an alternate reality where a significant subsection of the population has gone absolutely insane. The insanity all seemed to take off around 2016.

    • @[email protected]
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      661 year ago

      I blame social media. Mainlining outrage and confirmation bias through your smart phone is one hell of a way to get high

      • @RojoSanIchiban
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        251 year ago

        Social media is a turbocharger to the misinformation engine that is corporate media (especially Fox ‘News’ and shit like Limbaugh, Beck, Infowars, Rogan, et al) post-Fairness Doctrine.

        The idea that the FCC shouldn’t A) reinstate the doctrine, and B) have its regulatory boundaries extend to ubiquitous cable and streaming services is fucking nutballs. Thanks, Reagan!

      • @clearedtoland
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        161 year ago

        Some day we’ll look back at rage bait (and social media, in general) the way history looks back at opium. The tech and connectedness have remarkably advanced humanity - but unchecked, the algos and constant need for engagement have been ruinous and criminally detrimental to society.

        • @[email protected]
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          111 year ago

          As far as I’m concerned, tech companies are no better than Phillip Morris peddling tobacco to children. Checking your “likes” is the new age version of smoking.

          • @crashoverride
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            -11 year ago

            I’m gonna have to disagree. No one has died because they didn’t get likes.

            • @[email protected]
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              01 year ago

              Not counting the suicides, cyber bullying and countless psychological disorders amplified by social media…sure, nobody has died because they didn’t get “likes” lol

    • @[email protected]
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      1 year ago

      There’s a town hall video with John McCain around 2008 where an elderly woman tries to suggest to him she’s worried about Obama because he’s not white. John McCain shot her down and defended Obama and stressed we should only focus on the political differences of opinion, and his own supporters booed him. This all had been coming for so long.

      Edit: I was corrected, she did not exactly state what her problem was with Obama, but it’s clear that it was bigotry.

      • JamesBean
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        341 year ago

        If we’re thinking of the same clip, you’re slightly misremembering it. The woman was insisting Obama was a Muslim, and that’s what McCain was shutting down. But yes, the crowd booed him for clarifying that.

        • @crashoverride
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          1 year ago

          It was from at least Reagan. But it was when we elected a black man that got things sped up pretty quick, and then when we elected a fuckind Cheeto that’s when things really got super charged and turbocharged and all the other charging until what we have today

          • @[email protected]
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            41 year ago

            You could go back to Nixon and the Southern Strategy.

            Feb 4, 2004, was the beginning of Facebook and the beginning of foreign powers using the platform to undermine democracy.

    • @dmonzel
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      371 year ago

      It actually started really ramping up in 2008-2009. Tea Party, birthers, so on. It’s amazing what happens when someone who wasn’t white was elected president.

      • @[email protected]
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        1 year ago

        It actually started with Newt and his bullshit back in '96…well, actually it started with fucking Reagan and his trickle down bullshit back in '80…then again, maybe it started when

        • @[email protected]
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          111 year ago

          This is the correct answer. It’s just that the crazies, racists, and terrorists in the Republican party stopped being scared to come out in public around 2008 and even more in 2016.

        • @Cabrio
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          101 year ago

          From an outsiders perspective if you really want a catalyst point I always look to the failure of the Union to subject the slaver capitalists of the Confederacy to Nuremberg style trials for sedition and treason.

          Instead there was compromise and appeasement. The problem was swept under the rug.

          • @ultranaut
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            61 year ago

            There’s a lot of truth in this. The elites at the top of the South weren’t rooted out after their civil war and all of the bullshit going on in US politics today is a direct consequences of that failure.

            • @[email protected]
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              1 year ago

              It would have existed regardless of who you got rid of. An argument can be made that fierce retribution by the North would have only further sowed anger in the South and a divide.

              There’s also the possibility that the chance at a productive reconstruction era likely died right at the start the minute Johnson became president.

          • @Cryophilia
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            21 year ago

            Nah, that shit was already bubbling over during the Revolutionary War. Remember the Three Fifths Compromise? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

            • @[email protected]
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              11 year ago

              People forget or never learned how much this country was arguing before it even began, and has been arguing since then. People who idealize the past and think there’s a period of peace where everything was superb (like those that point to the 50s) are showing privilege and ignorance of various affected groups that suffered and fought our entire history. We’ve never had a moment where we all got along.

      • @shalafi
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        61 year ago

        We can go back further, but that’s where I put my finger on the map.

        Fox News was a conservative news outlet until then. Overnight they went batshit crazy.

        Between them and social media, we spiraled down into where we’re at now.

      • babyphatman
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        51 year ago

        I think it was even earlier… 9/11 really broke the safety of America (and even the “western” world) and pushed so many people down the conspiracy rabbit hole. Social media amplified this fear and brought them together giving them power.

      • @[email protected]
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        41 year ago

        My head canon is that the fixed point event in earth history is that humanity should have ended in nuclear war with the cuba crisis and the timeline has been unravelling ever since.

    • @Mostly_Gristle
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      181 year ago

      Sometimes I think the end of the world actually did happen in 2012, it’s just that the fallout is happening over a longer time scale than anyone anticipated.

      • @sramder
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        31 year ago

        Rapture bombing wasn’t a prank, 99.99999999999999% of us just didn’t make it :-)

      • @shadowSprite
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        1 year ago

        That’s what I keep saying. That the world ended, but to save humanity some brave but misguided hero somehow ported us all into this slightly different but really fucked up reality. This is my explanation for the Mandela effect, that we remember our old timeline but when we look things up the research shows what happened in the new timeline so it’s all wonky lol

    • @[email protected]
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      171 year ago

      The most soul crushing part is when you realize it’s not an alternate reality; this is where you’ve been all along and you feel betrayed by everyone you’ve ever known for hiding it from you, even about their own stupidity.

      • @sramder
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        11 year ago

        Confirmed. The worst possible timeline.

    • @WHYAREWEALLCAPS
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      151 year ago

      As someone who came of age during Reagan’s presidency, y’all just ain’t been around long enough.

      • @sramder
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        11 year ago

        Good show just the right amount of Tony Shalhoub ;-)

      • prole
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        11 year ago

        That show was great, was pretty disappointed to see it got cancelled.

    • @Wrench
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      61 year ago

      Started to gain major traction around the Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck days. The Tea Party was the beginning of the end

    • @Mudface
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      41 year ago

      That evergreen college insanity clued me in

      I had to understand wtf was wrong with those people, now it’s like everyone is an evergreen state college student.

      This world fucking sucks

    • @dezmd
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      41 year ago

      I think it started the moment Obama was elected, or at least the moment the ACA was able to pass. It just took a time for the ‘batshit crazy’ to scale up to mass adoption among conservatives.

      • @[email protected]
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        51 year ago

        For me, it started right after 9/11. Republicans were quick to use the general fear and anger from the attacks to justify wars, spying on citizens, eroding personal freedom, etc. They’ve been using this same playbook ever since, just with a different boogyman, e.g. Antifa, BLM, trans people.

    • prole
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      11 year ago

      It really probably was all the lead.

  • @Hazdaz
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    1141 year ago

    I wish we had more of him. The OG can stay in PA and make a clone to be senator for every other state. I know I’d vote for him.

    Why the fuck can’t we get more elected Democrats like him? He’s personable. He’s down to earth, and he’s willing to make fun of the right wing wackos instead of cowering in fear. A good 3/4 of all the other elected Dems are a bunch of pussies who have the wit of a goddamn potato.

      • ChlorineAddict
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        161 year ago

        Why does Fetterman, the largest Senator, simply not eat the other 99?

        • @[email protected]
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          41 year ago

          No no no, it’s like postman or fireman. A fetterman is a man that works with fetters. Fetterman is a working man.

    • @chalupapocalypse
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      221 year ago

      Because at the heart of it most of them are still spineless corporate shills. Fetterman, AOC, Russ Feingold etc are outliers who snuck past the checks

    • justhach
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      211 year ago

      Because the whole damn system is designed to weed out anyone like that before they can even sniff at a senate seat.

      • @Hazdaz
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        151 year ago

        And yet here we are with him in Congress. So it actually is possible.

    • @rambaroo
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      1 year ago

      Because Democratic primary voters are gigantic cowards who think swing voters are only won over by inoffensive white corporate suits.

    • prole
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      11 year ago

      Because the venn diagram of people with those traits, and people who desire to be in an elected position is essentially two separate circles.

      • @Hazdaz
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        11 year ago

        And can you blame them? You get attacked from all sides if you enter the politics as a Democrat. You’ll obviously get attacked by Republicans, but you also get attacked by people on the Left as well. On the other hand, elected Republicans, to a large degree, don’t get attacked by their own people, and lord knows that Democrats rarely go on the offensive, so they’ll rarely attack their Republican opponents.

    • @RizzRustbolt
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      11 year ago

      He could just hire Michael Keaton to go to the senate and pretend that he’s Fetterman.

  • Ghostalmedia
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    811 year ago

    Anyone making season 6 Simpson references should be immediately put in charge of everything.

    • @foggy
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      181 year ago

      Come one over to /c/thesimpsons where we constantly play differing difficulties of “Guess The Episode” based on screen shots.

  • appel
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    581 year ago

    Can I just note, at the risk of venturing slightly off topic, that Fetterman is rocking that stash?

    • @luckyhunter
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      -701 year ago

      Joe rocked the same stash and killed 100 million.

      • Flying SquidOP
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        231 year ago

        Yes. Anyone with a mustache is obviously a mass-murderer.

        • @luckyhunter
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          -121 year ago

          Uncle Joe, yes of course. John is just Lurch in a Joe Stalin costume.

          • Flying SquidOP
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            111 year ago

            What people look like is definitely a statement on their character. You can always judge a book by its cover, as they say.

            • @luckyhunter
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              -111 year ago

              absolutely, you only have one chance at a first impression.

              • Flying SquidOP
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                71 year ago

                You’re seriously saying you can judge a book by its cover?

                • @luckyhunter
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                  -91 year ago

                  Of course. As I said, you only have one chance for a first impression.

  • @GraniteM
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    491 year ago

    Oh yeah, I’m sure there are plenty of body doubles available out there for 6’ 8" dudes with incredibly distinct facial features and skull geometry that would keep a 19th century phrenologist in business for years.

  • @[email protected]
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    1 year ago

    By this time next year we should 8 Fettermans Fettermen. And they, too, will be Senators. Then 16, 32, 64, 128 et celery et celery.

    Soon … no more Senators. Only Settermen.

  • Concetta
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    301 year ago

    Fetterman and his wife continue to impress me with how good at social media they are.

      • Beaupedia
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        41 year ago

        Didn’t you hear, she’s actually the one in charge, and he’s just a puppet who can’t think? That’s why she posts photos that have his face out of frame, not because it’s funny. /s

        • ZeroCool
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          1 year ago

          I heard it’s more of a Master-Blaster arrangement from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

  • @ChonkyOwlbear
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    291 year ago

    Fetterman for VP.

    Him and Biden together would be comedy gold.

    • FuglyDuck
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      271 year ago

      VP? Fetterman for Pres! Biden can be his VP. you know. to help mentor and guide him.

      • prole
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        11 year ago

        Fetterman for VP, then he can eat Biden to gain his strength and wisdom

        • FuglyDuck
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          11 year ago

          … he can do that? well. if he can do that. Fetterman for Pres, Biden gets eaten… and we have Bernie for VP

    • z500
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      11 year ago

      deleted by creator

  • @Jimmycakes
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    221 year ago

    Crazy how gop found so many people with the shame part of their brain disabled

  • Jordan Lund
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    211 year ago

    Imagine not understanding the difference between inner forearms and outer forearms…

    • @Late2TheParty
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      111 year ago

      I hate it when my tattoos disappear

      These people can’t be THAT stupid, right? Right?!

      Ugh. I want off this ride.

  • @nomecks
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    201 year ago

    How has he not had Terry Crews be his body double yet?

  • @profdc9
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    141 year ago

    To be fair, Krusty the Clown and Homer Simpson are body doubles. Maybe there’s a cynical clown version of John Fetterman somewhere.

    • @RizzRustbolt
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      41 year ago

      I’m seeing double here! Four Fettermans!

    • @[email protected]
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      41 year ago

      I honestly thought he was a former WWE performer for a decent amount of time, and by decent I mean I only recently found out that he wasn’t a former WWE performer. It was a wild assumption, but at the same time I can also picture him jumping off the ring to give the peoples elbow.

  • @[email protected]
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    51 year ago

    Maybe it is too obvious, I am not sure: You all know that his name originates from the German expression “fetter Mann”, which translates to “fat man”? I can vividly imagine his ancestors arriving at Ellis island and getting their new surname. :D

  • @son_named_bort
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    41 year ago

    He involved Guy Incognito, who is different than Homer Simpson. Gee, I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

    • @jcit878
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      21 year ago

      I like the theory that “guy incognito” was homer in a shit disguise and the “homer” looking dude is someone else entirely