I am also willing for you to go to jail.

And I’m guessing the judge also plays racquetball or something.

  • Uglyhead
    link
    English
    1821 year ago

    “If I lose to [Joe Biden], I don’t know what I’m going to do – I will never speak to you again. You’ll never see me again.” —DJ Trump

    “I Am Willing to Go to Jail”

    The master spinner of lies and deceit shits out just another lie.

    • @Dressedlikeapenguin
      link
      321 year ago

      He’s a tease, never delivers the goods. Well, he did get fastfood delivered to the White House that one time. Food orders taken, food orders delivered.

      • Piecemakers
        link
        English
        91 year ago

        When “food” is appended to describe something, the item in question is not often food. See: “cheese food”.

          • Piecemakers
            link
            English
            3
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            One example of why using absolutes isn’t accurate. 🤪

            Ironically, “Mexican food” tends to imply actual food more often than, say, “Chinese food”. 😬

            • @jaybone
              link
              51 year ago

              Dog food isn’t even real dog.

              • Piecemakers
                link
                English
                11 year ago

                Depends on your location, I think.

                • @jaybone
                  link
                  11 year ago

                  Hot Dogs near your location. Click here.

    • @Eldritch
      link
      2
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      I can think of maybe one way to get him to actually go through with it. Have NBC get in contact with him. Tell him they want to do a new season of the apprentice. Apprentice Reikers island.

    • @ClamDrinker
      link
      2
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      DJ Trump - “Master Spinner of Lies and Deceit”

      I can’t help but read that like it could’ve been the name and motto of some alternate universe DJ that can’t stop scratching those discs in the club.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    137
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I’m down for seeing it. I’m betting he will sob like a fucking baby.

    “But he has a Secret Service detail! It can’t be done!”

    Sure it can. Solitary confinement with a Secret Service agent right outside the door in rotating shift.

    • FuglyDuck
      link
      English
      731 year ago

      Heh. I’m not sure the secret service even needs to.

      At a certain point, “we’re withdrawing protection” needs to be on the table.

      • @BradleyUffner
        link
        English
        711 year ago

        Unfortunately, secret service protection isn’t just about physically protecting him. It’s also about protecting the information that he knows.

          • @reagansrottencorpse
            link
            331 year ago

            Didn’t some of them even assist in covering for Jan 6th and or the documents fiasco ?

            • @RaoulDook
              link
              English
              141 year ago

              Deleted texts on SS phones say “yes”

            • @CharlesDarwin
              link
              English
              11 year ago

              Yes. Maybe he goes to a Supermax to ensure no more leaks.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          111 year ago

          Seems like the simplest method for dealing with traitors goes back to a long drop and a short rope.

          If done right it can be relatively quick and painless. I have never felt the need to learnt to tie a noose, but I’ll give it a shot for that piece of filth.

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            English
            61 year ago

            I’d prefer that he die alone in solitary confinement, or a botched lethal injection.

            A quick death is too good for him.

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            01 year ago

            It’s not hard. Every good fishing knot is also a potential noose. Get out there and teach your kids and friends how to fish, young sailor!

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              11 year ago

              Been a long time since I went fishing as anything else than a chance to hang with a friend, and kill a six pack on a nice sunny day.

              Hell, I’ve just sat with him while he fished and we shot the shit for a couple hours.

              It was in a public park, catch and release system. So a little chatter wasn’t gonna spook the fish anymore than a playground of kids screaming.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          71 year ago

          I’m willing to gamble on him not actually remembering anything useful to those who would pay for it, hence the document hoarding.

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            21 year ago

            Anyone with half a brain should know not to trust a thing he says. Yeah, if I were looking for intelligence info from him, I’d want the documents, too, not his word.

        • FuglyDuck
          link
          English
          61 year ago

          Ah. Good point, yes.

          Though… I can think of cheaper ways to protect that information. We won’t talk about that, though. Don’t need a visit from the FBI.

          • 520
            link
            fedilink
            14
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            In a normal situation yes. The protection is there to deal with leaks via kidnapping and interrogation.

            Trump is, at least in semi-recent history, the only president who believes that the rules of state secrets do not apply to him.

      • Flying SquidOP
        link
        161 year ago

        I believe legally the President and their family get SS protection for life.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          321 year ago

          We also have never had a president end up a convicted felon. Personally I think that should warrant withdrawing secret service protections. Obviously he probably should keep the detail. But also fuck his traitor ass.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          6
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          Huh I thought it was changed to 10yrs, but it was reverse in 2012 to be permanent.

          For those who thought like I did.

          • @afraid_of_zombies
            link
            11 year ago

            The spouse is authorized until they remarry

            Her last name changes and this was pre-internet?

        • teft
          link
          fedilink
          11 year ago

          USSS is the abbreviation for US Secret Service.

          • @grue
            link
            English
            11 year ago

            Yeah, normally, but this is Trump’s guard we’re talking about.

    • @RampantParanoia2365
      link
      3
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      They probably don’t allow clown makeup or tanning machines in prison

    • @teejay
      link
      361 year ago

      He’s trailer trash that just happens to have money.

      Have had money. Past tense. He’s flat broke now and probably spiraling in debt, especially now that New York is deleting his businesses there.

      • GladiusB
        link
        91 year ago

        I just imagined the Sims and delete delete delete

      • @CharlesDarwin
        link
        English
        41 year ago

        I love reading that phrase: “deleting his businesses there”. I love to see it.

    • TWeaK
      link
      fedilink
      English
      151 year ago

      Growing up his mom got off on getting him to do crazy shit to end up in the NY tabloids.

    • @Daft_ish
      link
      41 year ago

      Add to it, this judge still has other cases. Just because baby use to be president shits his pants doesn’t mean judges get a vaca.

    • ZeroCool
      link
      fedilink
      English
      21 year ago

      He’s trailer trash that just happens to have money.

      That’d certainly explains his gaudy taste in… Everything.

    • @CharlesDarwin
      link
      English
      01 year ago

      He’s a nepo baby. All that money came from daddy. He is a gigantic failure.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        21 year ago

        What’s funny is watching his nepo babies slowly realize that their daddy is burning through all that money so quickly that they won’t be getting an inheritance. They’ve been showing up in the news and they just look completely deflated.

  • @Saneless
    link
    1051 year ago

    In his defense he has been unlikable for the entirety of many people’s lives

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      211 year ago

      When folks claimed, in 2015, that no one hated trump before he ran for president (also forgetting he ran a sweaty napkin of a campaign years prior) I always loved playing a couple songs by the Coup.

      They had someone pretending to be him rap in one from 1994 (the joke being that he’s hated even by other rich assholes): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrSk8Um2Sso (lyrics here: https://genius.com/The-coup-pimps-free-stylin-at-the-fortune-500-club-lyrics)

      And in a powerful line in a track of their 2001 album: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84bJG5qj96w (lyrics here: https://genius.com/The-coup-ghetto-manifesto-lyrics)

      I practice this like a sport, met Donald Trump and he froze up

      Standing on his Bentley yelling, “Pimps down, hoes up”

      • ZeroCool
        link
        fedilink
        English
        18
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        When folks claimed, in 2015, that no one hated trump before he ran for president

        Of all the absurd claims that Trump supporters regularly make that’s one of the most absurd. Donald Trump hates New York because the NYC elites didn’t accept him as one of their own. The dude was a social pariah that had to resort to crashing parties because he’d never actually get an invite. Even the average New Yorker on the street has known since the '80s that he’s nothing but a silver-spooned fame seeking circus clown.

      • @ChickenLadyLovesLife
        link
        English
        151 year ago

        folks claimed, in 2015, that no one hated trump before he ran for president

        In the late '80s and early 90s, Spy magazine did an annual “Top 10 Worst People” issue and Donald Trump always made it. Hilariously/depressingly each entry had a “mitigating factor” - Trump’s was always “at least he’s not in politics”.

        • @CharlesDarwin
          link
          English
          31 year ago

          Yes, I barely paid attention to such things, and I remember many people dunking on this asshole back in the 80s. I think Stern had him on later because just so many people hate this stuffed shirt daddy’s boy long, long before he ran in 2015.

          • @afraid_of_zombies
            link
            41 year ago

            I remember talking about him at work back in 2008 and people were shitting on him.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        141 year ago

        I’ve hated Donald Trump since he ruined our Christmas Eve in 1989.

        When I was young, we had a family tradition of buying a new board game every year for Christmas. It was the one gift we would open as a family on Christmas Eve, so we’d have something new and fun to do together for the evening. In 1989, Milton Bradley released Trump: The Game. My older brother, who has always been interested in ways to get rich, was a fan of Donald Trump at the time (he got better), and insisted that we get the game that year. It was awful. We played it once and I don’t think we ever opened the box again. It was somehow simultaneously too confusing and too simplistic to be fun.

        • Drusas
          link
          fedilink
          91 year ago

          I thought this was going to go in a different direction. I thought you were going to say that he ruined Christmas because he didn’t pay for work performed by one of your parents. It was a thing! People in South Jersey used to hate him because of that. Many of them now love him and somehow seem to have forgotten the damage he did in the '90s.

          • @afraid_of_zombies
            link
            21 year ago

            Why do people work for people like that? I have a standing policy, you back charge or pay late and we are done professionally. I got one customer at work who threatened a back charge, didn’t but threatened it, every single quote to them gets a 300% adder and I copy every department head. I call it the back-charge adder.

            • Drusas
              link
              fedilink
              11 year ago

              They didn’t know that he wasn’t going to pay them.

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            English
            11 year ago

            I’ll freely admit my reasons for hating him back then were petty and childish. But in my defense, I was a child 🤣

        • @MeekerThanBeaker
          link
          51 year ago

          Oh, God. I asked for that game as well and unfortunately got it. Worst board game I’ve ever played. Thought it would be close to Monopoly… or even Hotels which also came out in the 80s and was decent. Couldn’t be more wrong. I think I still have it in my childhood closet. I would sell it on eBay, but I think I’m just gonna toss it into the garbage… while also letting the pieces fall out so no one else can play it. He’s been grifting people his whole life.

      • @grue
        link
        English
        91 year ago

        Trump was the inspiration for alternate-1985 Biff Tannen in Back to the Future II.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        3
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Also, he just got finished fucking already-impovershed Atlantic City when he started running.

      • @CharlesDarwin
        link
        English
        2
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I think a great many people knew he was a gigantic douchebag in the 80s. People in the region - even sooner; probably knew in the 70s. It was clear he was a total asshat.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      201 year ago

      I remember seeing him in Home Alone: Lost in New York. I screamed at Kevin not to talk to creepy strangers.

      • @theuberwalrus
        link
        761 year ago

        Fun fact: Donald Trump is the only cast member of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York to be impeached twice by the US House of Representatives

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        91 year ago

        Yeah, as a French kid I was blissfully unaware of who Donald Trump was, the cameo flew over my head and I found this scene pretty weird.

  • @dhork
    link
    English
    851 year ago

    He really does seem to be trying to emulate Hitler, right down to running for office while in prison for an attempted coup. The only difference was that Hitler was not quite 40 when he did that. If Trump goes to actual prison (and doesn’t get some cushy house arrest), he is old enough that he doesn’t have much time left after that.

    • Talaraine
      link
      fedilink
      401 year ago

      This is exactly it, but he foresees becoming some kind of political prisoner ‘martyr for the cause’ that will ‘surely rally everyone behind him’ for the election.

      Unfortunately I’m not sure he’s wrong.

      • El Barto
        link
        131 year ago

        I guarantee you he is terrified of prison, even if it is house arrest.

        • JokeDeity
          link
          fedilink
          61 year ago

          And I guarantee you no one filthy rich faces a real prison sentence that anyone of us would face. He’d be living better than most of us in prison. Even if he’s found guilty of tons of crimes they’ll find a way he doesn’t have to go to prison though, because all bullshit aside, they’re all friends. Remember Clinton’s secret memo to boost Trump up in the primaries?

          • @afraid_of_zombies
            link
            21 year ago

            I fucking hate this. If I ever go to jail I am pretty sure it would be a hellish experience that would break me, even if I survived until release my life would be over. I can’t see any way he gets more than fines and house arrest.

          • El Barto
            link
            21 year ago

            Or Paris Hilton spending 24 hours in jail only.

      • @CharlesDarwin
        link
        English
        21 year ago

        Though it’d be interesting to see what happens if he’s put in prison. I say we put him in prison and see.

        I bet lots of ketchup is on the wall in his trash palace just beforehand, but he better learn really quick not to throw food in prison!

    • pbanj
      link
      fedilink
      101 year ago

      Back in highschool i studied ww2 specifically the Nazis. Was was astonished that anyone could pull that off. Used to think “how the hell was he able to get all these people behind his bullshit?” And “people have learned and hopefully it never repeats itself”. Then trump won and it became clear how hitler pulled it all off.

    • @RizzRustbolt
      link
      61 year ago

      He already doesn’t have much time left. Based on his appearance and the news of his eating habits, I’d be amazed if he survives to the end of the year.

    • @Anonymousllama
      link
      41 year ago

      The similarities are usually astonishing. Like watching a trainwreck in slow motion every time I hear about this guy

  • @carl_dungeon
    link
    English
    791 year ago

    Maybe he should start the chant “lock me up”! At his events.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        15
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        At this point, his people would count it as a win. “He was in jail, just like Martin Luther King!”

        Four legs good, two legs better!

        • @Son_of_dad
          link
          31 year ago

          Guaranteed his supporters would compare him to Mandela

            • @Son_of_dad
              link
              51 year ago

              This reminds me of those mini Christian comics that always ended with some horrific cartoon of hell or people suffering damnation. I used to read those as a Christian kid, before I grew our of religion. they were made to get you afraid of god, and remind you that god loves you, but will annihilate you and toss you in a torture dungeon if you disobey him.

              • @[email protected]
                link
                fedilink
                21 year ago

                After the 2016 election, there was a panel discussion with all the creators of the top political TV dramas. Veep, House Of Cards, The West Wing, Scandal, and others. All the participants said the same thing; if they’d had a character who’d said that he didn’t think POWs deserved respect the networks and sponsors would have demanded that he be reviled and hated by all Americans.

    • @troglodytis
      link
      31 year ago

      You just coined the next “come and take it”. MAGAs everywhere about to start flying “Lock Me Up” flags.

      Ok, somebody go out there and make your millions off these rubes.

  • ZeroCool
    link
    fedilink
    English
    791 year ago

    “I am willing to go to jail”

    Narrator: He was not.

    • Chuckles
      link
      51 year ago

      Read the Narrator as Bill Hader doing his impression of Keith Morrison from Dateline.

      • @CharlesDarwin
        link
        English
        101 year ago

        I heard it as narration by Ron Howard, doing Arrested Development.

  • JokeDeity
    link
    fedilink
    611 year ago

    God damn why do I still have to hear this giant orange toddler all the fucking time? Conservatives are the most pathetic morons.

    • @CharlesDarwin
      link
      English
      81 year ago

      The most amazing thing? This is THEIR guy. This guy is more Republican and conservative brand than any conservative or Republican, in history.

      This whiny nepo baby loser. Their favorite one. Let that sink in.

  • @Carvex
    link
    55
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    His only vision past 2024 will be three white walls and a steel door. Our whole lives aren’t about hating you Cheeto, you committed treason.

  • @kibiz0r
    link
    English
    471 year ago

    24 hours ago:

    The Associated Press notes, however, that “there would be no restrictions on statements criticizing the Justice Department generally or statements about Trump’s belief that the case is politically motivated.” Chutkan remains a permissible target for Trump’s public ire.

    You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!

  • @snekerpimp
    link
    451 year ago

    Every new picture of him in public I see he gets darker and darker. Doing a reverse Michael Jackson.

    • Flying SquidOP
      link
      181 year ago

      Maybe he has vitiligo too and parts of his skin are naturally orange?

      • @afraid_of_zombies
        link
        11 year ago

        Been a long time since I saw that show so I might be wrong. Uncle Ruckus actually worked right? He did odd jobs but he did those jobs.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          21 year ago

          Yeah, but he was also poor. I could see Ruckus acting exactly like Trump if he shared a similar life situation

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    451 year ago

    Quote from article "Trump then declared, “But what they don’t understand is that I am willing to go to jail if that’s what it takes for our country to win and become a democracy again,”

    No most Americans understand that him going to jail is good for the country and democracy

    • @grue
      link
      English
      161 year ago

      Isn’t that what he said? It sounds like he accidentally told the truth, for once.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      41 year ago

      I am willing to go to jail if that’s what it takes for our country to win and become a democracy again

      Yeah, I agree that it would be a big win for the country and improve the state of democracy in America if Trump went to jail.

      Since everybody seems to agree here, why not go ahead with it?

  • @TryingToEscapeTarkov
    link
    391 year ago

    He’s like the loud drunk being “escorted” from the bar by security.