“I came here to say it’s become clear to me that it’s not my time. So after much prayer and deliberation, I have decided to suspend my campaign for president effective today,” Pence said, to audible gasps from the audience gathered at the Venetian resort on the Las Vegas strip.

  • @Zombiepirate
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    17711 months ago

    So he eventually realized that he wasn’t winning a popularity contest with the people who were looking to hang him. It really shouldn’t have taken this long.

    • BarqsHasBite
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      6311 months ago

      He overestimated how many old school Republicans there were. Nope, most of the party wanted Trumpism all along.

      • @cmbabul
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        4311 months ago

        Additionally he underestimates how much the very few “old school Republicans” that do remain actually pay attention to politics or even current events at all. I’d suspect most of those voters are the type of folks that just show up and pull the R lever without ever thinking about it

      • @CharlesDarwin
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        711 months ago

        Yep. It turns out the True Conservatives ™ and the freewheeling “independents” are things that barely even exist, no matter how much the likes of David Brooks wants to magic them into being a majority in this country by feverish writing another column.

    • @grabyourmotherskeys
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      211 months ago

      The prayer took much longer than the deliberation which took about 12 seconds.

  • katy ✨
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    9811 months ago

    it’s past 14 weeks he should be forced to carry it to term

  • @DirkMcCallahan
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    8311 months ago

    It’s a shame. That recent picture of him speaking to half a dozen people in an Iowa drugstore was really inspirational.

    • @dhork
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      2311 months ago

      I mean, that big crowd did want to see him suspended

    • @jeffwOP
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      1111 months ago

      Took me a minute, ngl

  • Flying Squid
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    7011 months ago

    Watch him turn around and support the guy who wanted to kill him.

    • squiblet
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      3211 months ago

      That’s really the weirdest thing about these performative Jesus people. One, Jesus said to shut the fuck up about your supposed faith and not display it in public in an attempt to seem pious. But anyway, he can’t work it out logically? He needs supernatural inspiration to make any decision?

      • @CharlesDarwin
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        711 months ago

        Indeed, if they listened to their OWN religion, they’d literally get back in the closet, but they chose to follow the likes of James Robison:

        I am sick and tired of hearing about all of the radicals and the perverts and the liberals and the leftists and the Communists coming out of the closets! It is time for God’s people to come out of the closets, out on the porches, and change America! We must do it!

        I’d rather they go back to the closet, if they ever were in the closet at all. As instructed by their OWN holy book they talk about so much. How many of them have read it?

        But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

        • squiblet
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          11 months ago

          Modern christians are the hypocrites the New Testament warns us about. Actual Christians who adhered to the principles of Jesus would be wonderful people.

      • ivanafterall
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        1811 months ago

        Jesus was still feeling out the poll numbers, etc…and hadn’t decided until now.

        • @[email protected]
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          511 months ago

          For an omniscient and unchanging god, he sure does seem to not know things and change his mind based on human actions.

    • @charles
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      511 months ago

      Can’t tell which is worse. Either:

      • God: “bro nobody wants you to be prez just stop”
      • Brain thinking to itself: “bro nobody wants you to be prez just stop”
  • @jordanlundM
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    3511 months ago

    He suddenly realized he wasn’t the next Trump, he was the next Jeb! (please clap).

    • @jeffwOP
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      511 months ago

      A reference that never gets old

      • @very_well_lost
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        611 months ago

        Just like Jeb’s presidential campaign.

        • @jeffwOP
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          511 months ago

          Not sure who you’re referring to. Are you thinking of Jeb! perchance?

  • @xc2215x
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    2511 months ago

    He understood that MAGA hated him.

    • @Sterile_Technique
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      4311 months ago

      I had my suspicions when they called for his murder during the capitol insurrection.

      • @Dkarma
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        311 months ago

        Took Mikey over two years to realize.

  • @DocMcStuffin
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    1911 months ago

    I guess we won’t have a First Lady called Mother. Oh well.

  • @randon31415
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    1411 months ago

    I just want to know what will happen when Trump is convicted if it happens before the republican convention. Yes, he might be out on appeal, but if itbis a state charge and a handful of states say he cannot be on the general ballot, what is the gop leadership going to do? Go with the runner up?

    • squiblet
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      1711 months ago

      Probably still support him, and try to win on elections in large states and if that doesn’t work, they’ll try to overthrow the government like last time.

    • @jordanlundM
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      611 months ago

      It won’t happen before the convention. Look at the dates. The Republican Convention is July 15th to 18th.

      The trials will take way more than four months.

  • @eran_morad
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    911 months ago

    None of these shitbirds stand a chance against daddy trump

    • @jeffwOP
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      911 months ago

      Probably just counting on him getting locked up tbh

    • Magnor
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      1311 months ago

      Yes, away from the guys trying to hang him.

      • Maeve
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        011 months ago

        His sister couldn’t win South Carolina, so…

    • @psycho_driver
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      211 months ago

      Maybe just “Mike Pence Hangs” and then start with article with “It up.”

  • @CharlesDarwin
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    811 months ago

    Pence was probably the last to figure out that this was inevitable.

    • @Pasta4u
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      -2311 months ago

      Thankfully we have Biden running so we will always have at least one fascist

      • Nougat
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        1011 months ago

        They make it so easy to figure out who to block, don’t they?