• @AngryCommieKender
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    11010 months ago

    Why don’t they have Wi-Fi in Church?

    !They don’t want to compete with an invisible power that actually does something!<

  • @[email protected]
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    9 months ago

    Except Panera’s not even in the same league when it comes to completely unnecessary deaths… religion/ church has millennia & millions up on Panera.

    Edit: Panera also has far less sweaty-palmed, Father Feelgood kiddie-diddling accusations as well.

  • @afraid_of_zombies
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    4110 months ago

    You know what? That death lemonade isnt going to rape your kid so it is still better than church.

  • @TheJims
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    3910 months ago

    Ok but I’m still not going to church

  • @cosmicrose
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    3810 months ago

    I get a tasty lemonade, AND I get to die??? Sign me up!!

    • body_by_make
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      10 months ago

      I haven’t tried it, but I heard it’s not actually that great. Though that one person who died had three of them, so what do I know

      • @afraid_of_zombies
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        410 months ago

        I kinda want to try it and if I live go on and on about how that makes me invincible

      • @OrteilGenou
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        310 months ago

        As long as each lemonade is tasty/3 or better, OP is still golden

  • Erasmus
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    3610 months ago

    How many people have died because of organized religion vs. Panera charged lemonade.

    • XIN
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      2110 months ago

      Meth is more dangerous than caffeine

      shoots away

      • @EatYouWell
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        2310 months ago

        The weed drug trade only exists because of the legal status of weed. Nixon is ultimately responsible for everyone killed because of it.

        • @banneryear1868
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          110 months ago

          Cannabis has been associated in fatalities in countries where it’s completely legal.

          • @EatYouWell
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            1610 months ago

            Yeah, that’s an intentionally obtuse abstraction of the issue.

            You know better.

        • mommykink
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          -1310 months ago

          This might be the most Lemmybrained reductionist take I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot

          • @EatYouWell
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            910 months ago

            Expand on your problems with it, then.

            • mommykink
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              10 months ago

              Nixon is ultimately responsible for everyone killed because of [Marijuana]

              Richard Nixon did not invent Marijuana hysteria. He just used a pre-existing societal issue to sway one side (and punish the other). The Nixon Administration also didn’t force cannabis criminalization onto a pro-legalization country. Dispite what you might think, the majority of Americans polled against Marijuana legalization for most of modern American history -both before, during, and for decades after Nixon left office. You’re pointing fingers at the wrong person and the real ones responsible are laughing at you.

              I’m at work right now but if you want a more in-depth response, let me know and I’ll try to write one tonight.

              ETA: This doesn’t even begin to address the honestly hilarious Americocentrism and recency bias in that claim. Richard Nixon did not time travel back to 1378 and force Soudoun Sheikouni to make the private import of cannabis punishable by death in Joneima. King Andrianampoinimerina didn’t have a 300-year advance copy of the Control Substance Act when he instituted capital punishment for even possession. A ten-year-old Richard Nixon didn’t show up at the Palazzo Braschi and demand Mussolini outlaw maijuana.

      • LifeBandit666
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        1910 months ago

        Depends if you factor in all the decisions that people have made using caffeine to keep them awake, that they wouldn’t have made if they had just gone back to bed.

        But you won’t be counting them because it fucks your arguement, despite using it for weed.

          • @ieightpi
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            610 months ago

            What if you like drugs because it heightens music?

          • @afraid_of_zombies
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            110 months ago

            And? I don’t see how this is a gotcha. The baseline for humanity is to miserable. It takes effort to be happy. Which means that people are going to find ways to get it without effort. There isn’t some mystical force that makes sure that we are all capable of being happy and the process of being happy is always going to be in our best interests. Sometimes things are just going to suck and we can either feel how much it sucks or not.

      • @banneryear1868
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        710 months ago

        Yeah pretty much, hard to compare them because they cause problems in different ways. Under 100 deaths per year for caffeine overdose, cannabis is associated with more fatalities but not in a causal way. Caffeine isn’t a workplace safety issue and doesn’t harm judgement, cannabis has very measurable negative effects on cognition. Cannabis is, by no virtue of itself, associated with violence that comes with the black market.

        • @[email protected]
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          310 months ago

          Caffeine isn’t a workplace safety issue and doesn’t harm judgement

          Funny enough my old workplace had to start going in and taking the coffee maker around 11am because too many people were overdoing their coffee and ending up jittery and anxiety ridden in the short term (making mistakes) and then exhausted to the point of almost falling asleep near the end of work (more mistakes)

          Meanwhile my high ass was on a constant 7 speed the entire day (this was in an office so the worst I could do would have been to pay someone the wrong amount of money, which never happened)

          Though tbh neither is realistically that bad for you unless you’re going overboard, which is kinda the case for most things in life

        • @afraid_of_zombies
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          110 months ago

          I use cannabis about once a week. There is a guy at work that I won’t work near because he comes into work high and I don’t want to be injured when he screws up, again.

          Go ahead and get stoned, in your home, at night, when you can’t do anything stupid that hurts someone.

    • @[email protected]
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      1810 months ago

      Mosquitoes would probably beat them, but they’ve had a hefty head start. The church are aware of this, of course, which is why they double down on the paedophilia to catch up.

  • @son_named_bort
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    3010 months ago

    I don’t blame people for not going to church. They don’t even give you wine anymore, just grape juice. Jesus drank wine, why can’t I?

    • @Baphomet_The_Blasphemer
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      1410 months ago

      I thought Jesus was wine or something like that? I’ve never participated in Christianity’s cannibalistic rituals though, so I’m sure I’m a bit confused.

      • @[email protected]
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        1210 months ago

        the wine only becomes Jesus’ blood in your tummy unless you have an operation or autopsy then it turns back into wine just in the nick of time, apparently.

      • @HowdWeGetHereAnyways
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        710 months ago

        It’s only cannibalism if you believe you are the same as God.

        Arise, God-drinkers.

    • @[email protected]
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      510 months ago

      Jesus tasted the private jet life and doesn’t visit pastors without one anymore, so they need to save up for one, hence the budget cuts in your wine.

  • Norgur
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    2410 months ago

    So I either have to die from needlessly over caffeinated soft drinks or deliver my own son to a molestation orgy club? What fucked up kind of choice is that?!

  • @Viking_Hippie
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    2110 months ago

    To be fair though, church is many times more deadly and 0% delicious 🤷

  • @byroon
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    1610 months ago

    I must be out of the loop. What’s church?