• FinjaminPoach
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    2 days ago

    Lies! Anti-homeless this may be, but this bench was also created with the VERY noble intention of facilitating wheelchair-bound men to receive a handjob from two women at once!

    • PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 days ago

      It’s 2026, Finjamin. The handjob could also be given by two men! Or a man and a woman. Or a nonbinary person and a woman. Or…

      • Fedizen
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        2 days ago

        But not two disabled people. Alas, this bench discriminates.

        • FinjaminPoach
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          2 days ago

          Three wheelchair users could give double-handjobs to two seated men.

          So the bench design still has you beat.

          It’s IMPECCABLE (im-pecker-ble), no slander that you level at this piece of ingenious public infrastructure will ever stick.

          • FinjaminPoach
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            2 days ago

            I see the vision now… “give a man a handjob and he’ll still be homeless. Give a man a station to perform handjobs in the park and he might be able to earn a place to sleep if he’s good enough at it”

          • SkyezOpen
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            2 days ago

            The xSlut by Elon Musk is on hold after several dicks were bitten off during testing. What’s that? Nevermind I just received word that they’re moving to immediate deployment.

        • fartographer
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          2 days ago

          My dad is dead, so zombie fan-fic fans can have a little treat

      • tourist
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        2 days ago

        I normally don’t read usernames, so I got fucking brain fried trying to figure out what a Finjamin is

        Like, it looks like a word I should remember but it isn’t even a word

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      Hmm. I’m seeing the person in the wheelchair giving two handjobs to people on the seats. I think they used to call this skiing.

    • homes@piefed.world
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      2 days ago

      Well, I’m sold. Except for the “women” part.

      Two guys could give just as good a hand job…

    • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In
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      2 days ago

      Why did you choose this way round? Surely a wheelchair-bound women taking ski lessons would be more common!

    • Shroomshroom@lemmynsfw.com
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      2 days ago

      Yes and the fact that they care about the comfort of the handjob givers so they can sit down. I mean who likes to get a handjob while the other person is complaining about knee or back pain.

    • starchylemming
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      2 days ago

      Lies! Anti-homeless this may be, but this bench was also created with the VERY noble intention of facilitating wheelchair-bound (wo)men to give a handjob to two men at once!

    • 0x0@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      Props to the wheelchair-bound well-endowed dude if he needs 2 hands to properly jizz.