• @[email protected]
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    15210 months ago

    As an American, I cannot legally touch any egg that hasn’t been ultra-pasteurized followed by continuous cold chain refrigeration and served in either a Styrofoam or pulped paper cardboard egg carton.

    • @RaoulDook
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      4310 months ago

      I think you have been misinformed. As an American, I can harvest eggs just like the pictured ones from my own backyard on a regular basis.

      They don’t even cost any money, they come out of chicken asses for free.

      • @joel_feila
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        3510 months ago

        You must have weird chickens. My lay eggs out if their cloaca.

          • @joel_feila
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            410 months ago

            Their colon is. The coloaca is their asshole, and pee hole, and egg hole.

        • @RaoulDook
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          -710 months ago

          Pedantic response, thanks for the great contribution

      • @Mr_BlottOP
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        2710 months ago

        What a noob. Ours come from shops. That way, our entire fuckin garden doesn’t smell like a crashed ammonia tanker

        • @[email protected]
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          1310 months ago

          As a side note, if your chicken coop smells like a crashed ammonia tanker you need to add more carbon in the coop. Dead leaves, cardboard, shredded wood or wood chips are working well.

        • @RaoulDook
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          510 months ago

          Sorry your yard is so small. Mine is large enough that the chicken coop is far away from the house and is usually not a bother. Summertime when the wind is just wrong can be an annoying stench, but it’s almost nothing compared to the smell of dumpsters in a big city during summer heat.

          • @Mr_BlottOP
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            2410 months ago

            We call our yards “metres” and they’re a little bit bigger than yours

            • @RaoulDook
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              -510 months ago

              Off topic pedantry, great response

                • @RaoulDook
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                  110 months ago

                  You have no idea how big I can live. What if I told you that I knew a guy who can turn you into a walrus?

      • JJROKCZ
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        210 months ago

        Let’s not pretend the acquisition and upkeep of chickens is free… if you eat a lot of eggs it is absolutely worth it, but there is some cost in setting up a coop, getting chickens, keeping chickens fed and safe from predators, disease, etc.

        Plus you have to have property to keep them on and be allowed to have them on your property. For most Americans that isn’t possible due to lack of home ownership or HOA restrictions on what animals you can have on “your” property. (HOAs are bullshit)

          • @EdibleFriend
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            1910 months ago

            I just noticed the mistake and I knew one of you smart asses was going to call me out before I message to fix it :(

            • @Mr_BlottOP
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              2310 months ago

              You message to fix it? What, you have staff to do it for you?

              • @EdibleFriend
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                1710 months ago

                I don’t even know how the fuck that happened. I give up.

              • @Alk
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                610 months ago

                Y’all are ruthless.

                • @Mr_BlottOP
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                  1110 months ago

                  Except the ones with girlfriends called Ruth, obv

    • aard
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      8510 months ago

      What kind of monster stores bananas in the fridge?

      • @nrezcm
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        2210 months ago

        Bananas in the US get washed and lose their protective coating so it’s fairly normal to see them in the fridge in US homes.

        • JJROKCZ
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          210 months ago

          I’ve never put mine in the fridge in all my decades as an American lol

          • @nrezcm
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            110 months ago

            Way to humble brag about your imported European bananas that don’t require refrigeration.

            (It was a joke btw lol)

      • Lenny
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        1810 months ago

        And tomatoes!!! Might as well eat ice cubes at that point

      • @[email protected]
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        1510 months ago

        Yeah, and I feel like someone’s gonna slam that door one day and get egg all over their bananas.

        • @[email protected]
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          1710 months ago

          If “get egg all over their bananas” wasn’t an euphemism before, I’m starting it now.

      • @DV8
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        1410 months ago

        Once they’ve reached your desired ripeness you can slow down them getting overripe in the fridge.

    • @garbagebagel
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      1710 months ago

      Bruh I’m not even European but that measuring cup got me shook.

      • @Zevlen
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        110 months ago

        deleted by creator

      • @Soulcreator
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        310 months ago

        I’m pretty sure that’s a stock image so I don’t think that’s a pic of anyone’s legit fridge.

        But to answer your question, you can keep bananas on the counter until they reach your preferred level of ripeness and then put them in the fridge to slow down the ripening process so you have a few more days to eat them before they turn to complete mush. I do it all time to ensure I always have bananas around at my preferred level of ripeness.

        • @Smoogs
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          110 months ago

          They brown more in the fridge. If anything cold speeds up the banana going gross.

          Avocados work the way you say. I wouldn’t do it to a banana

          • @Soulcreator
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            110 months ago

            Yes the outside goes brown, but the inside slows down it’s ripening process. Eventually they will all go to mush, but you can keep them at peak ripeness for a few days longer by putting them in the fridge.

            Then again most people won’t eat a banana if it has a single brown spot on it, so I’m probably wasting my breath by telling people they can prevent food waste by eating discolored but perfectly ripe food.

    • @[email protected]
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      10 months ago

      As an American I don’t condone this practice of microwaving the water, except in extreme circumstances.

      Edit: as a typical American, I’ve realized that I implicitly assumed OP is American, d’oh.

    • @Smoogs
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      110 months ago

      Oh. I thought you were deodorizing the microwave

    • @uis
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      -110 months ago

      Microwaved water for tea.

      This sounds so painfully long

        • @[email protected]
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          310 months ago

          It kind of depends on the “quality” of the electricity that runs your domestic property. In the UK there is some serious juice coming through the socket and the kettles there go hard and fast.

          • @[email protected]
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            310 months ago

            Yeah, I shell out for the premium electricity, the 99% electrons. The 95% stuff is fine but I have a lot of expensive devices; I want them to run as fast as possible.

            • @[email protected]
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              410 months ago

              Damn. I didn’t know they still manufactured the 95% electrons stuff. Probably left over stock that they sell at discounted prices.

    • @Zevlen
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      10 months ago

      deleted by creator

    • @SkippingRelax
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      -510 months ago

      This gives me the same vibe as Andrew Tate boasting about not recycling the pizza box. Not scared, sad

  • themeatbridge
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    7210 months ago

    In the US, there’s a concern for salmonella or other bacteria and viruses. Factory egg farming is a horror show in regards to overcrowding and hygiene. Sick birds are crammed in with healthy laying birds, and washing the eggs is one of the safest ways to prevent contamination.

    It does increase the permeability of the shell, decreasing shelf life and requiring refrigeration.

    If your eggs looked like this in the USA, there’s a small but non-zero chance that you’ll shit yourself to death. Probably not, but it’s scary enough.

    We could improve factory farming regulations so it’s not a like a Cronenberg movie, but then eggs would be more expensive. And even if we did, and stopped washing our eggs, Americans would still want them to look clean and would still keep them in the fridge because we’ve been conditioned to expect to die on the toilet covered in wet feces if we see bird poop on the eggs.

    • @echo64
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      3410 months ago

      Fwiw, the eggs wouldn’t have to be more expensive, the eggs cost what the market will pay.

      The only change is that the people profiting from your poor food conditions will profit slightly less.

      This is a common lie they tell everyone.

      • @[email protected]
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        610 months ago

        They won’t profit less, line must go up. They’d charge double the difference and blame immigrants and Obama.

        • @echo64
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          110 months ago

          sure they could charge more, but the market wouldn’t swallow it so they would sell less. if they could charge more for eggs, they would be doing so right now, for extra profit.

          • @Lemming6969
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            110 months ago

            They would collude. All eggs would go up just like during covid, and they wouldn’t lose any sales.

            • @echo64
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              110 months ago

              If they could do that, they would do that right now. If they could charge more there’s nothing stopping them from doing that today. We are already at the maximum price they can charge.

    • Justin
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      2010 months ago

      Keeping unwashed eggs in the fridge at home helps them last longer, as long as you don’t leave them out to sweat.

      But yeah here in Sweden, we rarely ever get salmonella recalls since the chickens aren’t strapped to a box here.

    • Semi-Hemi-Demigod
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      1010 months ago

      If your eggs looked like this in the USA, there’s a small but non-zero chance that you’ll shit yourself to death. Probably not, but it’s scary enough.

      Unless you got it from your own chicken coop

      • themeatbridge
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        10 months ago

        Right, but if you keep chickens for eggs, you already know all of this.

    • @buzziebee
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      910 months ago

      Chickens are vaccinated against salmonella (and a bunch of other things) when they are chicks in Europe. It means you don’t need to worry about shitting yourself to death, the chickens are slightly happier by not being sick, and your eggs stay fresher for longer.

      It would probably add $0.005 per egg, so US producers will claim it’s communism if a regulation is brought in to vaccinate chicken, but it would be worth doing.

      • themeatbridge
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        710 months ago

        You mean you put 5G tracking devices in your chickens?

        Really, though, getting poultry farmers to spend a penny per dozen eggs is like trying to squeeze water from a rock.

        • lad
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          610 months ago

          Yeah, it helps one find them if they run away

          They’ve made a documentary about it back in the day: chicken run (2000) movie screenshot

      • @[email protected]
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        410 months ago

        Fuckin finally. The tryna high road the Europe and shit like they don’t have poor chicken treatment situations too. Its all down to vaccination requirements. They the treatment of chickens cause both places have issues lol

      • @fidodo
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        210 months ago

        Refrigerating the eggs end to end costs money too, possibly more. I don’t think it’s about ongoing cost but rather upfront cost to switching.

    • BruceTwarzen
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      310 months ago

      At what point do people not just think that maybe going vegan isn’t that bad of an alternative

      • themeatbridge
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        710 months ago

        But eggs are yummy. Baked goods, thickened sauces, omelettes and deviled eggs and egg salad, you can’t really replace them with vegan alternatives. Aquafaba is pretty close for some of it, but people like their eggs and don’t care about how much their food suffers before we eat it.

      • @afraid_of_zombies
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        010 months ago

        It is way too challenging in my mind at least. I do one meat meal a week and veg the rest. All the fun stuff has milk and eggs in it.

        But hey you do it if it makes you happy.

    • @Mr_BlottOP
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      4310 months ago

      I have a picture of my receipt for an incredibly reasonably-priced ECG scan I had the other day if you like? I think it was €9

  • @fidodo
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    4410 months ago

    The biggest reason eggs are refrigerated in the US is because they’re not vaccinated for salmonella, so refrigeration is needed to inhibit growth. The US was able to do that since they have the infrastructure for end to end refrigeration. It’s not necessarily wrong, it’s just another way to do it. Since salmonella can also be on the outside of the egg they need to be washed, and since they’re refrigerated the loss of the protective layer doesn’t matter. I guess in Europe with the vaccination it also lowers the chance of salmonella on the outside of the egg allowing the outside to remain unwashed and protective of the inside making refrigeration unnecessary. There’s just not enough of a reason to change things in the us now since the refrigeration method is already in place and switching would cost more up front. The main downside is that you can’t eat raw eggs in the US which means some dishes can’t be made, but the vast majority of the US isn’t interested in raw egg dishes anyways.

  • @MeanEYE
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    3510 months ago

    This probably goes without saying to anyone who has chickens but a message to rest DO NOT WASH your eggs. It’s the stupidest thing you can do. When you wash them you remove protective layer and they can’t last long outside of refrigerator. Even in the fridge chances of getting Salmonella grows very fast.

    • ChaoticNeutralCzech
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      4610 months ago

      DO wash them shortly before eating, though – they come out the chicken’s “universal back hole”.

        • ChaoticNeutralCzech
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          110 months ago

          They sometimes crack when boiling, and I don’t want my hardboiled eggs in water with dissolved excrements

      • @[email protected]
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        210 months ago

        As someone who has been eating eggs out of our own production for several years now:

        I’ve never washed an egg. Ever. When we get eggs from our hens, we mark them with the date and they go into the fridge. When we want to eat them, we take them out and do whatever is required.

        We mainly consume eggs in boiled, fried and scrambled form, but also sometimes in a carbonara pasta, where they’ll get heated but not cooked.

        None of us have ever gotten sick from consuming those eggs, in whichever form. We don’t consume eggs that are significantly older than one month, but that’s pretty much our only safeguard.

    • @Buddahriffic
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      1710 months ago

      If you must wash them, do it right before using them.

      • @MeanEYE
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        710 months ago

        Yes, this is okay.

  • Jo Miran
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    3410 months ago

    Not Americans that are used to eating farm fresh eggs from the local farmers market. I lived in downtown Austin until recently and getting freshly picked produce from local and urban farms every Saturday was one of my favorite parts of my week.

  • @eek2121
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    3110 months ago

    My guy, I grew up on a chicken farm. This does not scare me.

    • @Mr_BlottOP
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      10 months ago

      Well obviously if you’re an actual chicken, it won’t. How was your cage growing up?

        • DrMango
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          1610 months ago

          Hold my shell, I’m going in

      • @BetaBlake
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        -1210 months ago

        Why are people upvoting you, you aren’t funny, it feels like a 13 year old got ahold of someone’s account and is doing their first try at shitposting

        • @Buddahriffic
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          910 months ago

          What are you talking about? He’s just making polite conversation with a chicken.

  • @RememberTheApollo_
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    2810 months ago

    I grew up raising chickens among other animals. Poop and feathers on eggs was the norm. This ‘50s processed white bread, white sugar, clean eggs, etc. that was the sign of “progress” I guess IMO has done more harm than good in some ways.

  • @Crow
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    2410 months ago

    But my fridge has a little spot just for the eggs. They look so cozy there. I actually don’t know where I’d keep something as fragile as eggs outside my fridge in the kitchen. Genuine question where do you keep your eggs safe? Do they often break?

    • @Mr_BlottOP
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      2510 months ago

      We don’t need an eggs safe, fuck me they’re not that valuable

      • @Crow
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        1010 months ago

        Well no. I’m Canada we keep the anlpha egg of the dozen in the egg safe. It’s not large enough for a full carton of eggs.

        • @Buddahriffic
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          410 months ago

          C’mon, you’re making Canada sound backwards like that. We have banks and they have safety deposit boxes large enough for several cartons of eggs.

          I also keep eggs hidden around the house in case I get a midnight craving for an omelette and don’t feel like doing a midnight heist on my own eggs. Though I do regret the ones I hid under the couch cushions.

      • lad
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        210 months ago

        It’s not that those are valuable, it’s that those are dangerous. Have you ever tried throwing one after getting it out of an egg safe where it was safely tucked away for the last decade?

    • @Vash63
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      710 months ago

      In a cupboard in their container? They don’t spontaneously combust, as long as they’re in the cardboard it’s pretty hard to accidentally break them.

      • @[email protected]
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        210 months ago

        I drop so much out of my cupboards resching for something else. I’ve dropped eggs before, and i would rather clean up a full sack of flour than half a dozen eggs.

        • @Buddahriffic
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          310 months ago

          Sounds like you might need to go through your things and ask if each brings you joy and get rid of whatever doesn’t.

          Does this egg bring me joy? Throws egg on floor, giggles yes it does. Makes note to replace egg

  • @Aermis
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    2410 months ago

    Am American living in the city with 8 chickens. The only scary thing is seeing eggs in the market go for $10/dozen

    • @Mr_BlottOP
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      3210 months ago

      I’d love to see this city that only has 8 chickens in it

      • @[email protected]
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        910 months ago

        I don’t know what you’re doing, but the way you can turn a phrase around is remarkable. You’ve gotten a few chuckles outta me this morning.

      • @Aermis
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        110 months ago

        Hah my backyard.

    • @Womdat10
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      510 months ago

      Only 10? They’re $13 where i live

    • @Vash63
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      10 months ago

      Wow, that’s crazy. It’s €4.49/10 here tax included for the fancy free range, low volume farm ones from a not-cheap supermarket.

      • @[email protected]
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        310 months ago

        3.2USD here for a dozen cage-free brown eggs!

        My folks’ chickens’ eggs have orange-r yolks tho.

      • @afraid_of_zombies
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        010 months ago

        Miss living near the Amish. They have these cute big families with so many children and agricultural stuff for low prices. I would love to convince them to somehow some way homestead in my city.

        • @[email protected]
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          210 months ago

          Funny, as someone who works intimately with them I find myself distrusting them. They are great at putting on the “old timey, super genuine sweet Christian folk” persona but don’t get it wrong. Their ideology spreads like a cancer around here. They breed like crazy, buy up all the private land, displace other locals with their farms, eschew environmentally friendly agricultural practice to save money, their buggies destroy the roads and cause terrible fatal accidents. It’s not to say they’re all bad but they’re absolutely a highly insular cult and they have no problem turning on outsiders to further their society.

          • @elephantium
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            210 months ago

            buggies destroy the roads

            How? I’d always heard that heavier vehicles do more damage to roads, so I’d expect buggies to be on par with bicycles or maybe motorcycles.

            cause fatal accidents

            I’m curious about this one, too. Do they tend to drive erratically? I’d think their slower top speeds would make it easier to avoid accidents.

            • @[email protected]
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              110 months ago

              Many Amish churches ban rubber tires and the buggies will at best use hardwood wheels, and otherwise they’ll be steel. Weight is of some minor concern but more principally the hard materials as well as the shoed horses wear away at the road. In high density Amish areas it’s common to see two deep grooves in the road from buggies.

              Buggies are not designed for modern roads. They have very little safety features (in fact they only begrudgingly even put reflectors on them, and maybe occasionally flashers for at night), and their bulky, dense bodies and slow movement make them pretty devastating targets to hit. They don’t crumple like a modern car. They explode. Car-on-buggy accidents are very frequently fatal. I know plenty of Amish who have lost family to accidents at relatively slow speeds.

          • @afraid_of_zombies
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            -210 months ago

            displace other locals with their farms, es

            Meh I am not sure how people stuck on old tech are so much better at farming that they can outcompete modern farms. How bad at your job can you be to have your ass handed to you by the 17th century?

            Kinda getting tired of the whole “my life sucks because I am lazy let me get angry at people who are actually successful”. Tall poppy syndrome is running rampant, especially in rural America. You can thank me for paying for your roads btw.

    • @Mr_BlottOP
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      1410 months ago

      Would definitely lick those clean, 10/10

    • @NucleusAdumbens
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      810 months ago

      Wait, why fridge? I thought they last at room temp if they still have the chicken butt juice. Do they last longer cold?

      • @[email protected]
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        810 months ago

        I still put farm fresh eggs in my fridge because it’s just a lot more convenient to store eggs in the fridge than on my counter where I have more limited space

          • @[email protected]
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            10 months ago

            My fridge is designed to store food and has multiple shelves and drawers. My counters are a flat surface area and I’d rather keep them clear for active uses like cutting, prepping, etc.

            There are also appliances competing for space on the counter like coffee machines

            I guess there’s the pantry but it’s also just that I’m used to keeping them in the fridge and it’s not like it hurts them to go in the fridge.

            Anyway, point is it’s really not that weird to keep them in the fridge

          • @[email protected]
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            110 months ago

            If its anything like my counter then kinda, honestly ive knocked enough shit off the counter that its just easier to keep em in the fridge.

      • @[email protected]
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        610 months ago

        Yeah I suppose I could store them at room temp, but I figure they last longer in the fridge and I’m not really hurting for space.

    • @[email protected]
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      -2710 months ago

      OP, that’s what it would’ve looked like. Your eggs been industrially washed. What a moron is that OP.

    • @Mr_BlottOP
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      910 months ago

      Unless I’ve been horribly misinformed, so does honey

      • BruceTwarzen
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        1810 months ago

        It’s actually coming out of the cloaca. No idea about the chicken tho

        • Manucode
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          1110 months ago

          You’re both misinformed. Honey doesn’t come either out of a bee’s anus nor out of a bee’s cloaca. It comes out of the mouth. Bees don’t even have a cloaca. Chickens though do have a cloaca and that’s where the eggs come out.

          • @Mr_BlottOP
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            610 months ago

            So where do the chickens produce honey from then, smartypants?

        • @Mr_BlottOP
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          410 months ago

          No way a chicken would fit

          • @[email protected]
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            210 months ago

            So I’ve thought about the chicken and the egg issue. Wouldn’t it be the egg first since it contained an evolved spices that we currently call the chicken? The one that produced it doesn’t have to be a chicken, only that it produced a mutated offspring whose egg contained the chicken.

            • @[email protected]
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              10 months ago

              It’s more like the egg contained something slightly different from the mother, and that trend continues for thousands and thousands of “iterations” until eventually it’s completely distinct from that “first” one. There shouldn’t be any species that gives birth to something completely different where it’s protochicken straight to chicken.

              • @[email protected]
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                410 months ago

                That’s kinda what I’m getting at, in that at some point you draw the line on what is a “chicken” vs what isn’t a chicken.

        • @pigup
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          10 months ago

          Cloaca is its ass, just a multifunctional one

    • @Okokimup
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      610 months ago

      That’s ridiculous, chickens don’t have asses. When’s the last time you went to KFC and ordered a bucket of wings, breasts, and asses?

      Sidenote: my phone thnks the word breasts must be changed to breaststroke every time.

      • @joel_feila
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        310 months ago

        Silly every tgingat kfc is chicken asses.

      • @[email protected]
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        210 months ago

        The asses are like the sub-dogfood grade meat at taco bell. You don’t explicitly ask for it, but everyone just knows that’s what they are getting.

    • SVcrossDO
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      110 months ago

      But I eat ass for sport

        • SVcrossDO
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          210 months ago

          It is, but is not competitive yet. We are hoping to form a league.

      • @I_Fart_Glitter
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        3210 months ago

        They use metric egg cartons, we use freedom cartons.

      • ChaoticNeutralCzech
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        210 months ago

        It’s comfortable for Americans but unheard of in many European countries. The point of this post is to make them uncomfortable.

        • stebo
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          810 months ago

          I live in Europe and I’ve seen packs of 4, 6 (most common), 8, 10, 12. It’s not unheard of at all.

          • @Nikko882
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            310 months ago

            In Norway I’ve only seen eggs sold in packs of 6, 12, 18, or 24. As far as I can remember, anyway.

          • ChaoticNeutralCzech
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            10 months ago

            Well, I never bought eggs outside the Czech Republic, Germany and Romania, and they were only available in multiples of 10.