I need to get up without waking the wife and kids, I got a smartwatch to vibrate and it woke her. The alarm is always going to wake the house.

Is there anything else?

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2404 months ago

    I can’t imagine that you can get out of bed without waking your wife if your smartwatch vibrating wakes her up.

    • Otter
      link
      fedilink
      English
      204 months ago

      Depends where the arm is I think. When it vibrates under the pillow you’re using, it can sound very loud

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        224 months ago

        I assume that OP isn’t sleeping with the wrist wearing the watch underneath the pillow their wife has her head on.

        Pulling your arm from under a pillow someone is using seems very likely to disturb them and wake them. You’re not doing that, OP, right?

    • @ChexMax
      link
      94 months ago

      Idk, my husband can sneak out of bed, but his phone vibrating in the bed wakes me. Even if it’s just a little zzt to indicate a text has come in. I guess it’s one of the noises I’m “listening for”?

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    120
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    Vibrating butt plug with timer

    Realistically, your wife is your partner and some sacrifices need to be made. If she can’t sleep through a watch, she should consider earplugs or just deal. I’m sure you silence it and leave the room ASAP so, that’s just life of sharing a room with a spouse.

    Edit like literally millions of spouses have tolerated their other rising before them, it’s a normal part of the deal

    • @Agent641
      link
      394 months ago

      Plus you can make a side hustle by cheating at chess

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      3
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      My dad has had the single fucking loudest alarm clock for literally my entire life. It’s such a god awful racket. It had to be, because my dad has the worst snoring I’ve heard in my life. Man sounds like a chainsaw, and you can hear him clear across the house. My mom would sleep directly through it all. It’s wild.

    • shikitohno
      link
      fedilink
      14 months ago

      Damn, I was coming here to say this. All I can add is that maybe sleep on your stomach with one of these, otherwise it could wake her up vibrating the mattress, since she sounds like a light sleeper.

  • teft
    link
    704 months ago

    If your wife is such a light sleeper that a vibrating watch is waking her perhaps sleeping in a separate room when you need to wake up at a certain time would work?

    • @SquizzyOP
      link
      184 months ago

      Separate rooms is definitely not an option. It’s not so much super light sleeper just she is nursing and I’d like to get a workout in before everyone else wakes. If I wake the kids we’re all screwed if I wake her I ruin what peace she gets.

        • @SquizzyOP
          link
          -64 months ago

          Why because my two options are don’t get up early or sleep separately?

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            214 months ago

            Because it sounds like she’s sacrificing a lot to nurse a new baby, so maybe you could sacrifice a little bit for her so she can get at least a bit of sleep.

            • @SquizzyOP
              link
              -14 months ago

              Maybe mind your own business and stop making presumptions about my family life you self righteous prick.

              I want to wake an hour before everyone to do some exercising so I’m not eating into the family time. The time would otherwise be spent sleeping like everyone else.

              I honestly can’t believe the audacity of your reply.

              • @[email protected]
                link
                fedilink
                14 months ago

                “Mind your own business on a public forum where I chose to disclose information!” How rich.

                • @SquizzyOP
                  link
                  -14 months ago

                  It’s based on absolutely no information that I provided, just your apparent want for feeling superior.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        284 months ago

        Put the watch on your ankle? Probably idiotic, but that might be silent enough. And you’d have to do some work to make it stop, waking you up efficiently.

      • FartsWithAnAccent
        link
        English
        104 months ago

        Try a different watch or adjust the haptics to make it vibrate less? Casio sells an inexpensive alarm watch that vibrates if you can’t dial the watch back.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        64 months ago

        A split king bed did wonders for my wife and I. I never feel her move. Now, if it’s noise that wakes her up, a sound machine could help.

        • @SquizzyOP
          link
          44 months ago

          Split king? So, two mattresses and one duvet, is it?

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            34 months ago

            It’s essentially 2 twin xl mattress side by side. You can use one duvet, but we blanket fight, so we use 2 separate.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        54 months ago

        I was just at Microcenter and saw these headbands you can wear while you sleep that have Bluetooth. They double a blinder for sleeping.

        My thought is maybe this could work where the Bluetooth will begin playing music to wake you up but the sound only is audible to you.

        You could test this with her before sleeping by adjusting the volume to the point where she says she can’t hear it but you still can.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          44 months ago

          Lol I know the 5g stuff is a stupid myth but sleeping with a Bluetooth device strapped to your cranium feels like it’s putting the research conclusions to the test

          • BombOmOm
            link
            English
            74 months ago

            sleeping peacefully

            BLUETOOTH DISCONNECTED

            BLUETOOTH CONNECTED

            angry groggy noises

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              English
              44 months ago

              Oh God I didn’t even think about a rogue connection:

              10h train braking, pig fucking, garbage disposal sleep sounds ASMR vibe begins

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        44 months ago

        I don’t suppose there’s room for a bed in the babies’ room, so after the mid-night nursings she could sleep in there until they’re hungry again? Only if she wants to, of course. It can be more restful than trying to sleep with your ears on High for sounds of distress from the other room, which also makes you oversensitive to hubby’s alarm.

        • @SquizzyOP
          link
          14 months ago

          The baby is in our room, and the others have their own, but the house is old and creaky, so I tread carefully.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        34 months ago

        Literally or figuratively?

        Could you or her be occupying another room for a few weeks/months or is it worth a fight

        • @SquizzyOP
          link
          14 months ago

          What I’m trying to do is not worth sleeping alone, I just want to get a workout in before the day starts and waking anyone will just start the day earlier. But sleeping separately is worse than being out of shape.

          • @RBWells
            link
            14 months ago

            Having raised many kids, you have to take your extra time where you can actually find it. If your family is early to rise, work out before bed instead, after they go to sleep. I have done early morning workouts, late night workouts, lunch time workouts. It may be that you can’t have morning time alone right now.

      • @VelvetStorm
        link
        24 months ago

        And why is a different room definitely not an option?

        • @SquizzyOP
          link
          34 months ago

          Because this is an ongoing situation, and I don’t want to sleep without my partner.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      94 months ago

      Was there a scandal where a chess player had a vibrating buttplug controlled by another person giving him the answers? That’s….dedication I guess

      • @vortexsurfer
        link
        144 months ago

        I believe it was more like: a guy was accused of cheating (against Magnus Carlsen), and anarchychess on reddit came up with the buttplug theory. Now everyone thinks it actually happened.

      • @possum
        link
        44 months ago

        There was, and then some guy put it to the test á la mythbuster style. I’ll leave the conclusion for you to enjoy

        • @TheMinions
          link
          14 months ago

          With some sort of link I assume? Or no.

          • FuglyDuck
            link
            English
            14 months ago

            Considering that you can control Lovense toys (and others) from any where in the world, if they had no delay in the live feed, it would be simple to communicate moves, even to a complete novice.

            From there, all you’d need is somebody in the audience with a chess game open and set to the highest difficulty.

            That person “plays” as magnus and sends the moves the AI takes.

            The easiest way to prevent it is to prevent people in the live audience from having phones, and delaying the feed ~5 minutes for everyone else.

            which is normal, actually, since you want to cut the feed before a streaker… oh right this is chess.)

    • @edgemaster72
      link
      64 months ago

      If Lemmy had awards I’d give you one because I really thought I was gonna be original by bringing that up but no, you beat me to it, well done

  • Melllvar
    link
    fedilink
    English
    504 months ago

    Drink several glasses of water before going to bed so you wake up to pee.

  • @Boozilla
    link
    English
    444 months ago

    What if you put the smart watch on your ankle? The covers might muffle the noise but you still feel it vibrate.

    • @SquizzyOP
      link
      244 months ago

      I was really hoping someone had like a really low volume pillow alarm or something, but instead, you guys are just really creative. I wouldn’t have thought to do this.

      • wagoner
        link
        fedilink
        14 months ago

        Someone makes, or used to make, a pillow speaker that used bone conduction. It connects to a cell phone. Could try this and make your alarm only sound through this speaker and not your phone speaker. Or maybe try a basic flat pillow speaker. Good luck

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    444 months ago

    You could grab a brush and put a little make-up. Perhaps hide the scars to fade away the shake-up. But then why’d you leave the keys upon the table? Ah, here you go create another fable.

    Why do you want a discreet way to wake up? You wanted to.

    • @thorbot
      link
      94 months ago

      I don’t think you trust in my self-righteous suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die

      • @SkyeHarith
        link
        24 months ago

        Something clicked in my mind when I read the phrase self-righteous suicide and SOAD just popped into my head

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      -24 months ago

      Probably to be polite, and give his family more valuable sleep time while he does responsible things.

      • @Passerby6497
        link
        English
        84 months ago

        Gotta get to work and do that important maintenance so the Systems don’t go Down.

  • @TheBlackKnight
    link
    404 months ago

    Drink a lot of water before bed, your bladder will wake you up

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    37
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    Get a cat and feed it first thing every day when you get up. Soon you’ll have claws in your arm to wake you. Might it meow and wake the wife and kids? Perhaps, but wives and kids love cats so they won’t mind.

    • @SoleInvictus
      link
      174 months ago

      This works very well. Our girls get fed at 8 am, so they collectively wake up and start losing their shit, crying for food and rubbing all over us, around 6 to 6:30 am.

  • @ikidd
    link
    English
    314 months ago

    Have her boyfriend give you a shake when its time to get up.

  • @NeoNachtwaechter
    link
    264 months ago

    Kindly ask her to get used to your alarm sound, and not wake up then.

    This may seem harsh, but actually it isn’t. Every house has it’s own specific sounds, and it is quite normal to get used to them and not wake up. If you hear other sounds that are unusual, then you wake up. It is a natural thing.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      84 months ago

      I had a roommate in college that had trouble waking up even with an alarm, and had a much earlier class schedule than me. Never got used to it, just got sleep deprivation. Maybe it’s “natural” for you and my ex roommate to sleep through alarms, but as they are designed to not let you sleep through them, many people cannot.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          14 months ago

          It’s still obviously going to disrupt the sleep of anyone else in the same room. Maybe if the alarm sounded through headphones it would not.

    • @SquizzyOP
      link
      14 months ago

      Yeah, we’ll get used to the house for sure, but I’ll have to be quiet for the time being. It’s not worth losing what could be an extra hour or two of everyone’s sleep. We generally make an effort to not shield them from noise during daytime naps and such, but sleep is too precious these days.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      84 months ago

      I originally read it as “…discreet way of walking myself…”Was thinking: “What kind of question is that? Just stand up and start walking somewhere. No need to be discreet about it…”

      Then thought maybe the family dog was looking for advice from Lemmy?

  • @mojofrododojo
    link
    English
    254 months ago

    Get an enlarged prostate. You won’t sleep for more than 3 hours straight promise.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    254 months ago

    What if you got a battery and put it on a timer and hooked the electrodes to your toes? That way you get moderately zapped, and she doesn’t wake up. After a week or so, I would bet you have so much anxiety that your internal clock will wake you, even without the zap. The body is amazing.