It’s currently September 19th
Dude, you’re already part god. You don’t get to be raptured.
I also don’t want to go to work
Good news: you don’t have to! You may end up losing your job and eating out of a dumpster, but you don’t have to.
WTF! I missed it? Did every single Jehovah’s witness drink the juice so they could fly into the spaceship or what? Postponed?
Fun fact: Jehovah’s witnesses think only 144,000 men go to heaven and then all the good JWs get new bodies on Earth.
Shit! I had it all wrong! Okay but now that the rapture is over and not gonna happen anymore, then maybe everyone can go back to their regularly scheduled Friday?
The rapture probably did happen but nobody on earth was worthy.
ah fuck i missed the rapture again. guys how was it?
Kind of boring actually.
According to their own book, no man will know the day or the hour IIRC. So anyone who says they know, at all, is by default wrong, and you can guarantee that it won’t happen at that time.
I would get letters from my grandma - long, winding beseeching me to come to the Lord or whatever, with often a specific date predicted in the near future of the end times. I never kept them because I was embarrassed. She was lonely and mentally ill, and probably trying to manipulate people into visiting her, but she also believed the shit she was saying, even though it kept changing, IMO.
I think that’s a little bit of what is going on with these signs
Oh come on! I was gonna get a haircut today.
He’s got the wrong date.
To quote late musician Peter Steele:
April 2029, the final time The end my friends is not near, the hour in fact is quite here … It’s a Friday 13th of course you won’t live, to see noon. … Are you paranoid what’s on the asteroid has got your name tattooed on it? This stone’s called Apophis And it brings apocalypse.
wordington rapture
There were 666 likes to this post. I ruined it by turning it to 667!
Do we need any more proof that the rapture is over and we missed it?
Shit, I missed it.
Shouldn’t have taken that nap.
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I think the rapture happened a decade ago and this is hell
Everyone is a sinner. Especially the religious types.
Purgatory.
I didn’t get raptured, too much thc and alcohol in your system makes you too heavy for the angels to carry I think.
If all the good folk are gone though I sure hope for less traffic on my road trip this weekend. Praise jeebus? 🤷♂️
May you be toughed by thy Noodley appendage! - FIFY
I hope it’s during work hour. Would be shame to do whole days work just to get eaten by the rising dead.
