Disclaimer: this is purposefully obtuse.

Other effects in the game which explicitly state they kill you:

Shadows, succubi, massive damage, death saving throws, beholder death ray (notably not even their disintegration ray kills you), power word kill, vampires, mind flayers, night hags, drow inquisitors.

Clearly, if they intended for disintegration to kill you, they’d have said so. Since specific overrides general, and there is no general rule that disintegrated creatures are dead, I rest my case. QED.

  • Match!!
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    645 minutes ago

    that’s a lich that travels with his phylactery

  • @MimicJar
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    202 hours ago

    The spell specifies you turn into gray dust. Unfortunately gray dust has no listed stat block.

    Luckily it is mentioned in “Tales from the Yawning Portal”, “The floor of this room is covered with a layer of fine gray dust and ash, three inches deep.”

    Based on the rest of the description you are restricted to the room in which you turned to dust and the only action you may take is casting " Minor Illusion", with the added restriction of all illusions must be humanoid.

    • Match!!
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      242 minutes ago

      if you get cast in cement and become at least 6 inches of stone your DR goes up to fucking 50 or something

    • @[email protected]
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      2 hours ago

      That’s probably the path I’d take as a DM if I had a player insisting on rules lawyering like OP. OK, you get to “play” as a pile of dust. Have fun sitting there until random wind currents blow you around.

      • @[email protected]OP
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        182 hours ago

        Crappy party mates you have if they won’t even scoop you up into a bag and carry you around.

        • Match!!
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          641 minutes ago

          buddy let’s start a campaign together you can be the pocket sand and i will be dale gribble

        • @[email protected]
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          22 hours ago

          If a guy is doing what you’re doing in this thread at the table, then yeah, I’d support them in leaving you there.

          • @[email protected]OP
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            52 hours ago

            Doing what? Trying to play by the rules? It’s a game! Games have rules. If you can’t accept someone living out their pile of dust fantasy, which is clearly supported by the rules, then I think you need to take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself who hurt you.

            • @[email protected]
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              51 hour ago

              You are 100% free to live out your pile of dust fantasy. I let you be a pile of dust. Isn’t that what you wanted?

      • @[email protected]
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        32 hours ago

        *ahem Subtle Spell has entered the chat. Cast any spell that doesn’t require a line of sight target and that doesn’t require material components or otherwise rely on an “attack” or similar action. Like say Guardian Of Nature. Or, if you want to get REALLY pedantic: Dimension Door.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      52 hours ago

      Nothing about the Disintegration spell says that your stats change. Compare to spells that do, such as Polymorph, or True Polymorph which even covers changing a creature into an object.

      • @MimicJar
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        72 hours ago

        I’m not changing your stats, you still have a 14 wisdom.

        You are however definitely turned into gray dust and I’m applying the rules as written about gray dust. The gray dust is restricted to the current room and can only form the shapes of various humanoids.

  • Tiefling IRL
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    21 hour ago

    I would argue that by this logic, your ability scores also fall to 0, killing you

      • Tiefling IRL
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        147 minutes ago

        Nothing in the spell says they don’t. By contrast, Wild Shape

        Your game statistics are replaced by the statistics of the beast, but you retain your alignment, personality, and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores.

        Also, a pile of dust doesn’t have a stat block because it’s an object. It’s not even sentient. But if you really really want to play as a lifeless pile of dust, knock yourself out.

        • @[email protected]OP
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          43 minutes ago

          Spells do what they say they do. So “it doesn’t say they don’t” isn’t a defense unless you think I could argue that Haste changes my Dex to 30.

          The spell also doesn’t say you become an object. Compare to True Polymorph!

  • @seaQueue
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    735 hours ago

    OP you appear to be committed to (not) dying on this hill and I applaud you

  • Sumocat
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    335 hours ago

    I see no flaw in this argument. Instead of dying, the character exists like the guy from “One” by Metallica, desperately waiting for a stiff breeze to end his existence.

    • @edgemaster72
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      112 hours ago

      Dust pan, imprisoning me, all I can be, a pile of fine dust

      I cannot live, I cannot die, turned into dust, scattered across the floor

  • @[email protected]
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    576 hours ago

    A disintegrated creature and everything it is wearing and carrying, except magic items, are reduced to a pile of fine gray dust. The creature can be restored to life only by means of a true resurrection or a wish spell.

    Why would you need to be “restored to life” if you weren’t dead?

    • @[email protected]OP
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      626 hours ago

      Because you could later die. So a creature that has been disintegrated, and then later dies, can only be brought back by those means.

      • Ahdok
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        If this was the intent of the rules, it would be expressed in explicit, unambiguous language. They don’t write contingency rules for possible future events that haven’t happened this way, and if you interpret rules documents this way, then everything becomes an argument.

        The implication of “the creature can only be restored to life by (x)…” is present tense. It applies to the current state of the game following the events described. The language “unattended objects catch fire” in fireball doesn’t mean “unattended objects in the area of a fireball will catch fire if someone sets fire to them.” it means they catch fire.

        Language in rules doesn’t ambiguously cater to a potential future state of the game that may not occur. It is describing the current state of the game, like the rules do in all other situations.

        • @[email protected]OP
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          2 hours ago

          To the contrary, if it were intended to kill you it would be explicit. See all the examples I included in the OP.

          The “present tense” argument doesn’t hold water when you look at how spells are worded. Let’s take a look at Alarm:

          You set an alarm against intrusion…

          Present tense. It describes a state change to the game world.

          …Until the spell ends,…

          Describes an ending to that state. We can conclude that the alarm state lasts until the spell ends.

          Disintegration does not describe any such end to the changed state. We can conclude that this rider effect comes into play if the character ever dies in the future.

          • Ahdok
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            The “present tense” argument is that “the creature can only be restored to life” describes the current state of the creature. It’s currently possible to restore the creature to life using wish, and therefore they are currently not alive. This is a plain reading of the RAW, and it’s inconsistent with the entire cohort of the rules to claim otherwise.

            If that’s not good enough for you, then it’s also the intention of “reduced to a pile of grey dust” is that players will be intelligent enough to know that dust is an object, and not a creature. There’s no statblock for the dust because objects don’t have creature stat blocks.

            If THAT’S not good enough for you, it’s the intention of the rules that the players use common sense when reading them.

            If THAT’S not good enough for you, Crawford has explicitly stated that if disintegrate reduces you to 0hp, you’re killed - and he wrote the rule.

            Any of these four arguments should be enough for a DM to be able to make a sensible ruling here, although normally I don’t rely on an appeal-to-Crawford for rulings.


            If you want to play a slapstick comedy style campaign where your DM allows things to happen outside of RAW because they’re silly or fun or whatever - there’s nothing stopping you. The joy of DnD is you can play the game however you like, so long as your group are happy with that.

            • @[email protected]OP
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              Edited, because you edited your comment as I was replying: The “current state” of the creature is that it can only be brought back to life by the means mentioned in the spell, I agree with you there. But it does not mean that the creature need be dead for that to be a true statement about its state.

              Would you agree with me that the normal, default state of a creature is “can only be brought back to life by [exhaustive list of all reviving magic]”?

              Nothing says you become an object. Compare to True Polymorph, which has a section for turning a creature into an object.

              • Ahdok
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                2 hours ago

                It’s assumed that the player is clever enough to know that dust is an object, as the player’s brain is assumed to not be made of dust.

                • @[email protected]OP
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                  22 hours ago

                  I’m not looking for assumptions, I’m looking for RAW. I don’t know about you but at my table we play by the rules.

        • @[email protected]OP
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          265 hours ago

          I’m not misreading anything. “The creature can only…” applies a new state to the creature. After that state has been applied, or somehow reversed (unaware of any way to do this by RAW), then the creature can only be brought back to life by the means mentioned in the spell.

          • @[email protected]
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            45 hours ago

            Yes you are. You’re intentionally abusing a weakness in English language (present and future tense are often written the same way so must be inferred by context) to assume something clearly not intended by the 2 sentences considered holistically.

            It’s a funny joke. +1, but, ain’t no DM takin dis Hail Mary from a player seriously. 😂

                • @Adm_Drummer
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                  35 hours ago

                  It’s like this for all TTRPGs. Someone always be trying to rules lawyer away someone’s fun. 😎

              • @Gutek8134
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                14 hours ago

                Reminds me of that one barbarian subclass skill that doesn’t state when does you bonus to AC end, so you could argue (and lose) that it stay with you forever

            • @[email protected]
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              74 hours ago

              ain’t no DM takin dis Hail Mary from a player seriously

              I absolutely would, my players would need to be creative to allow this dust pile to communicate and do anything, but I’m quite sure they could manage

                • @[email protected]
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                  33 hours ago

                  I was legit imaging a pile of dust that learns telepathy to communicate with their party members and screams in an angry scotch accent to be thrown at their enemies so that their particles might sting the bastards eyes and blind them

                  They’d be deathly afraid of any and all cleaning staff, but also the party would have a broom and catch pan of some sort for when their buddy get a lil spilt

            • southsamurai
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              34 hours ago

              Wanna bet?

              I’d make it an absolute realistic pile of dust, unable to move, unable to cast magic, fight, or anything but be carried along by whatever picked it up, and when enough of the dust gets separated, death is automatic.

              But I’d still allow it as an interesting edge case once.

            • @thejoker954
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              14 hours ago

              I bet Brennan lee mulligan would lol.

        • Alinor
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          56 hours ago

          I’m sorry, I don’t know enough about the English language to recognise the difference. What would the phrase be in future tense?

      • @[email protected]
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        24 hours ago

        I thought you needed a body part to resurrect? I might be thinking Pathfinder, though cause I mostly play that.

    • @[email protected]
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      45 hours ago

      The difficulty of restoring to life someone who is already alive is why such high-level magic is required.

  • @ChicoSuave
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    84 hours ago

    You can be literally obliterated by a sneeze. And you’re so dusty, folks would need to make a Con check for allergies.

  • TipRing
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    135 hours ago

    I mean, from your characters perspective, death is preferable to being transmuted to dust, especially in a setting with a well established afterlife.

  • @cryptiod137
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    24 hours ago

    Well memed, but it’s no fun to try to argue with someone who will take everything in bad faith, even as a joke.

  • @xantoxis
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    6 hours ago

    deleted by creator

    • @[email protected]OP
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      5 hours ago

      Fireball doesn’t need to say it kills you. The rules for damage, falling to 0 hit points, and failing death saving throws say that.

      Edited to add, damn I refuted him so hard he straight up deleted it.

    • @[email protected]
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      226 hours ago

      We’ve made their point…a person can survive fireball by making the three death saving throws. Exactly how a fine pile of ash and dust can!

    • Fonzie!
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      56 hours ago

      I mean, the guy did roll for death saving throws

  • @AlexanderTheDead
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    15 minutes ago

    RAW, a pile of dust is not a playable character option. Sorry.

    RAW, you also cannot play as a dragon fairy princess. That would be homebrew.

    You REALLY want to play a pile of dust…? Well, okay, we can homebrew that for you.