• @[email protected]
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    13316 days ago

    Imagine being an adult raised without all-you-can-stomach porn and suddenly getting access to the Internet.

    SO. MANY. BLISTERS.

    • @BobbyGasoline
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      7616 days ago

      " I can’t fire my rifle! My hand is cramped up!"

      • @[email protected]
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        3016 days ago

        We had a couple decades of slow acclimatization: crappy black and white scans, weird CGA scans, glorious 16 colors, all of which had to be painstakingly downloaded at 2400 baud or less, then finally lifelike 256 color images. And then tiny gifs or videos that would take all night. In the semi modern era, there was crappy filesharing where you could type search strings in and hope for the best (and enough seeds).

        But these poor bastards are going from zero straight to pornhub.

        • @Valmond
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          1116 days ago

          “Glorious leader was right, the west is depraved! Still not putting phone down though.”

      • @Passerby6497
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        1416 days ago

        Eh, y’all got that pornography sent to you 3 pixels at a time, that hardly counts as ‘all you can stomach porn’. Waiting between each line of your image is barely equivalent to today’s hard hitting porn problems such as videos buffering (though it’s an amusing comparison now that I think about it).

        A better comparison would be long term coma patients or people who’ve been in prison since the 90s.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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          2016 days ago

          Believe it or not, many of us grew up before you could even download porn slowly. The internet literally didn’t exist. Then it existed but was slow and empty. Then it grew, and here we are now.

          • @[email protected]
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            2916 days ago

            We found porn stashed in hedges and sheds, hidden in the woods, on playing cards, in the bottom of wardrobes. It was something you found rather than something you sought out.

            • @krashmo
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              1116 days ago

              It’s true. Everyone who grew up in the early 90s or before has at least one story about finding porn in the woods, including myself.

                • @krashmo
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                  316 days ago

                  No you either took it home with you and brought it back later or you saved it in your memory for future use.

          • @[email protected]
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            916 days ago

            My first experience with internet porn was after trying to download Fight Club from a peer-to-peer filesharing app and ending up with something unexpected that was merely named ‘Fight Club’.

            • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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              516 days ago

              That was well into the internet’s growth period. My first experience with it was a file saved on a 5.25" floppy disc. Then a friend showed me how he got it, and it was like that other person said. The picture loaded one line at a time and took like 5 minutes to download. We were amazed! It was amazing technology for the time.

          • @crank0271
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            516 days ago

            And here you are, also not invading Ukraine.

          • Echo Dot
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            415 days ago

            I remember when the internet first started, we were being told about it in school by some expert or something, I don’t know who they were. They were telling us that soon there may be 1,000 websites.

            I guess they were right.

      • @DogWater
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        315 days ago

        It’s a lot different growing up as the internet did vs discovering it in 1 day

    • @[email protected]
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      15 days ago

      Had 15 year old pre-internet me been suddenly handed even the internet of say 1996 with its far smaller quantity of available porn, but with no gradual transition between my near-pornless world and that, I may very well have found a way to masturbate myself to death before I ever made it out of puberty.

  • Diplomjodler
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    16 days ago

    “You now have access to the collective knowledge of the entire world.”

    “Nah, let me see the boobies!”

    • @PunnyName
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      6116 days ago

      That’s where it starts. Then once they find Wikipedia, it’ll be a game changer.

      • @shneancy
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        4916 days ago

        it might be the pessimist in me, or it might be the reality we’re living in

        but if sheer access to Wikipedia cured you out of being a cultist- i don’t think there’d be that many trump supporters

        • @[email protected]
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          3816 days ago

          My mom believes that Wikipedia is “influenced and censored.” She didn’t like Fargo when my uncle tricked her into watching it, so claimed that the Wikipedia article describing its awards (7 Oscar noms, 2 wins, etc.) were part of the demon-influenced liberal agenda.

          So no, Wikipedia doesn’t cure cultism.

        • @PunnyName
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          916 days ago

          There’s a difference between a cultist living thru the growth of the Internet and social media. It’s another when you have people completely cut off from the vast majority of the world and information for the last few decades.

          • @shneancy
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            312 days ago

            arguably that could even be more difficult. I’m pretty sure in South Korea they have to keep North Korean escapees separated from everyone else for a few months as they introduce them to technology, re-reeducate them, and teach them how to live in a regular society.

            The culture shock and sudden information overflow can easily cause someone to shut off and refuse to take anything new in

    • @T156
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      16 days ago

      A surprising amount of technological development is for pornography. Video-casettes won out because pornography used them over laserdisc or betamax.

      • @CarbonatedPastaSauce
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        1616 days ago

        I think you meant VHS won out. Betamax was also a video cassette format.

        And yes, porn had a lot to do with why VHS won!

        • @gerbler
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          315 days ago

          VHS beat betamax because porn, dvd beat laserdisc because porn, streaming beat physical because porn.

      • @shalafi
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        616 days ago

        And secure online payments.

    • @ThePyroPython
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      1616 days ago

      As is tradition dating back to cave paintings.

      • @[email protected]
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        715 days ago

        Well with ai your choice is deeply flawed knowledge from a system that can’t recognise it’s own mistakes or semi-convincing generated pictures. It does one of these significantly better.

  • @[email protected]
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    6716 days ago

    Do you think they’ll fall victim to the ads since they’ve never experienced the internet before?

    Hot chicks in your local Oblast, click here!!

    • @[email protected]
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      1615 days ago

      The Russians have already been falling for it kind of, but then considering some of the reactions we saw from them at the start of the war to flushing toilets and the like, they might be new to this too…

    • @[email protected]
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      215 days ago

      In my experience using yandex, its a lot easier to find almost anything on the Russian internet

  • miak
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    2316 days ago

    You know, we really should have a world wide Fap For Peace day. Like those “Pray for [insert thing]” days you sometimes hear about people doing.

  • Pantsofmagic
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    1916 days ago

    Genuinely curious, what are they using to access the Internet? I’m struggling to believe they brought smartphones with them that are universally compatible with the cell networks? Do they have PCs in the barracks and the dudes are just huddled around having the time of their lives?

    • @j4k3
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      3916 days ago

      WiFi is a standard protocol. Russians are also clever with electronics. Gaining favor with the new guys is as easy as giving them an old phone. WiFi still works.

      I don’t think most people fighting for Russia are super indoctrinated on the Russian side; opportunistic, morally corrupt, maybe, but not super jaded. Even if you’re fighting in dubious circumstances, the level of NK dystopian cult insanity is next level crazy. I can’t picture anyone that is around those guys being totally passive about the extent of bowdlerization and disinformation present in NK. Like you’ve got a bigger humanitarian obligation to show those kids that they are living in The Hunger Games IRL.

      • HobbitFoot
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        416 days ago

        I would expect it would be some kind of landline unless it is far away from the front. A lot of people have gotten killed because they had a device that was transmitting that could be targeted by missiles and drones.

    • @PunnyName
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      716 days ago

      One computer, many guys was how the world of porn was for a while. Printed shit off for “personal care” later.

    • @[email protected]
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      315 days ago

      I can’t imagine why they would have phones of any kind, let alone smartphones. If there’s any truth to this article I’d say it’s the Russians who went like ‘Oh, you’ve never seen porn before? Well check this out!’

    • @Cornelius_Wangenheim
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      115 days ago

      Supposedly Russia’s military comms were so terrible that they ended up adopting smart phones en masse and use plain old cellular and messaging apps like Telegram instead.

      • @AnUnusualRelic
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        115 days ago

        The drones kept cutting the strings between the yogurt pots.

  • @VantaBrandon
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    1715 days ago

    Next week after they discover American food

  • @betterdeadthanreddit
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    1516 days ago

    We haven’t ruled out the possibility of Dear Leader porn. Also have the state-approved stuff like Debbie Does DPRK, Backdoor Kim Sluts, Taepo-dong and Juche Bottom Babes.

  • @wpb
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    315 days ago

    Quality journalism

      • @VantaBrandon
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        1715 days ago

        Never underestimate tankies throwing around terms like racism without understanding what they mean

      • @thawed_caveman
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        113 days ago

        I hear you, but unfortunately your username ends in .ml