The first and only good babylonbee article

  • shoulderoforion
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    19914 days ago

    At first I was surprised this was coming from the Fascist friendly Bee, but then I read it and realized they’re trying to sound sarcastic, but making the correct point perfectly. This is fucking meta.

    • magic_lobster_party
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      7914 days ago

      It’s like some kind of reverse Poe’s law, when the sarcasm of the outrageous minded is indistinguishable from a sane opinion.

      Also Godwin’s law.

      • @[email protected]
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        3114 days ago

        This whole thing is cracking me up. I can imagine them writing all sorts of articles like “Democrats want ALL people to have access to basic needs like food, shelter, education, and health care.” Then MAGAts reading that just laughing their heads off while the rest of us are just stuck wondering where the joke is.

        • @[email protected]
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          1013 days ago

          Unfortunately, democrats don’t really want that. What Bernie stated yesterday is correct, they have turned their backs to the working class

      • @PunnyName
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        1914 days ago

        We wanted it to “be funny later” during his first term.

        It wasn’t.

        • @Agrivar
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          414 days ago

          We’re ALL fucked, and it won’t be nice.

    • @samus12345
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      14 days ago

      It’s some real self-awarewolf shit. I guess the difference is that what they’re trying to say is that she said he’s a tyrannical despot, but apparently he’s not because she’s just fine with handing him power, but I read it as he is indeed a tyrannical despot, but she’s doing the Democrat thing of following the rules even though Republicans will do no such thing, ensuring the demise of freedom in the US.

    • Sabata
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      2114 days ago

      Reality got so bad that satire can only state fact.

      • @Wilzax
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        13 days ago

        There was a political realignment after the civil war where the democrat and the republican parties switched roles as liberals and conservatives.

        Now there’s a factual realignment, where reality and satire switch which one is absurd and which one is correct when taken at face value

        • @Agrivar
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          114 days ago

          Fuck.

          People using “literally” to mean “figuratively” really was only the beginning?

          90s me would be sadly satisfied with how shit’s going right now. Like, everyone prefers to be right, but sometimes the Schadenfreude isn’t worth the squeeze.

  • @Carrolade
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    6714 days ago

    Actually that was a JD Vance quote. Harris kept it more classy.

    Either way, he’s more of a Mussolini type. Less vision, more opportunism.

      • @[email protected]
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        14 days ago

        You joke, but vibes where and are an important part of how fascists took control. They understand that Aristotle was wrong, emotion and symbolism is simply a better form of rhetoric than logic.

        • @SpaceNoodle
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          1114 days ago

          Well, it depends what you mean by “better.”

          • @[email protected]
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            14 days ago

            Rhetoric is just Greek for the means of persuasion.

            A more effective means of persuasion is better rhetoric by definition, because determining truth is not the goal, getting them to do what you want is.

            But, yes, ideally rhetoric and epistemology would go hand in hand.

    • @samus12345
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      2114 days ago

      Let’s hope he remains a Mussolini type to his dying day.

      • @thesporkeffect
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        1414 days ago

        Specifically on that one day. I hope he is bedridden until then

  • @[email protected]
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    14 days ago

    I hate Babylon Bee, but a broken clock & all that.

    Either this situation isn’t as bad as they said it would be during the campaign (which is what Babylon Bee is implying) or it IS as bad as they said it is, and they’re letting it happen anyways.

    Either way, they’re spineless fucking liars.

    • @finitebanjo
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      414 days ago

      Theres two main reasons not to stop it from happening:

      1. It would make the DNC as bad as the GOP

      2. The people don’t really deserve more help, tbh.

      • Pelicanen
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        1613 days ago

        For point 2: What about people who voted for Harris and who will definitely be persecuted under republican domestic policy? What about people in other countries who will suffer and die from republican foreign policy? What about everyone on the planet who will suffer even more from climate change due to republican environmental policy?

        • @finitebanjo
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          413 days ago

          THE PEOPLE. All of them. THE MAJORITY OF EVERYONE. They chose as a country, as one whole. Imagine if that was you up there and they chose that old piece of dogshit over you, would you be in a generous mood to lay down your life for them?

          • Pelicanen
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            413 days ago

            Of the 261 million adults in the US, about 73.5 million of them voted for Trump. That’s about 28%. When factoring in non-adults, that number goes to just under 22%. That’s not anywhere close to a majority.

            • @finitebanjo
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              413 days ago

              Not voting when you are able to was as bad as voting for Trump. The sample size of 73.5 Million, not even including abstainers, is enough to draw conclusions about the mentality of the larger population of the USA.

            • @finitebanjo
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              013 days ago

              I’m not calling for the extermination of the USA. I’m calling for them to fix their own shit after rejecting the help they needed. The entire Biden admin don’t owe the people a single fucking thing.

  • مهما طال الليل
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    3713 days ago

    The Babylon Bee is unfunny right wing trash, but the Democrats walked right into this one. You can’t tell us Trump is a threat to democracy and then peacefully transfer power to him.

    • @RoidingOldMan
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      2613 days ago

      Refusing to peacefully transfer power would be the end of democracy.

  • @finitebanjo
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    2714 days ago

    From the article:

    “It’s my responsibility to make sure this tyrannical despot assumes power,” Harris told the crowd of supporters after officially conceding the race. “Though he will end freedom itself in this country, imprison anyone who disagrees with him, systematically murder all women, and go door to door kicking everyone’s dogs, I promise to make sure there is a peaceful transition of power.”

    The media hailed Harris’s brilliance and the leadership she displayed while conceding to a man who is literally Hitler.

  • @[email protected]
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    2614 days ago

    I wish this was the right community to post this. Unfortunately, it more properly belongs in nottheonion

  • @[email protected]
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    2214 days ago

    So… they are criticizing her for not trying to overthrow democracy? Like trying to pull a coup would have been the only rational, non-hypocritical response here? What a worrying attitude

    • @RubicTopazOP
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      2514 days ago

      Like trying to pull a coup would have been the only rational, non-hypocritical response here

      Yes. What kind of party hands over power to people they know is fascist?

      A liberal one, yes. Which is the problem, and why liberalism eventually gives way to fascism when a capitalist state is in decline.

      • @finitebanjo
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        414 days ago

        The real answer is the kind of party that a majority of voters chose a rapist felon over. I don’t even want to help them, anymore, I started learning German again just in case I feel like leaving.

    • @[email protected]
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      2214 days ago

      Why is that a worrying attitude?

      They’re criticizing her for saying “he’s facist hitler” through the campaign as the sole message, and then when they lose, shrugging and treating it like any other loss. “Oh well, better luck next time!”

      Babylon Bee’s point is that the rhetoric doesn’t match the actions. If he was Hitler, then why are you handing him the reigns like this is just any other election? Their implication is that the campaign dramatized his impact and demonized him. They’re right about the criticism but wrong about the reason.

      He DOES represent the evils they’ve been espousing, and they are laying down and doing fuck all about it except paving him a clear path. Babylon Bee has managed to accidentally write their most non-partisan headline ever by accident, and a scathing indictment of spineless liberalism.

      • @[email protected]
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        614 days ago

        Why is that a worrying attitude?

        Because it seems to be pointed in the direction of a civil war and an end to the US republic

        He DOES represent the evils they’ve been espousing, and they are laying down and doing fuck all about it except paving him a clear path.

        What do you think should be done instead?

        • @[email protected]
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          714 days ago

          Be as petty as he was and do everything in their power to sabotage what they can and leave him a mess?

          • @theangryseal
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            914 days ago

            Isn’t it funny that a mere 4 years later, democrats forgot how to cheat and steal an election? /s

            God I want to punch everyone who voted for this moron. I really do.

    • @SmilingSolaris
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      1414 days ago

      Only if you don’t believe Donald Trump’s own words.

      • @[email protected]
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        113 days ago

        Since when did we start believing trump ?

        Isn’t he commonly understood to be a pathological liar ?

    • Rozaŭtuno
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      1313 days ago

      If you were alive in 1930s Europe, would you have said the same thing about Hitler and Mussolini?

      Time really is a fucking circle.

      • @[email protected]
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        513 days ago

        I often wondered how I would have felt if I was alive in the 1920s to 1940s and seen the rise of this shit. I now am confident that I would never have been a fascist, because I sure as hell fucking hate these people right now.

        • @[email protected]
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          312 days ago

          The question future resistance members must ask themselves is whether they start organizing now, or wait until prospective members won’t fuck things up by not taking opsec seriously.

  • @[email protected]
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    2113 days ago

    Libs before the election: Trump is a fascist! He must be stopped! He’ll destroy our democracy!

    Libs after the election: Congrats to Trump! We’ll be meeting soon to discuss the peaceful exchange of powers and our broadly overlapping interests.

  • @Clent
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    1814 days ago

    Biden is the one responsible for transferring power. Even right wing satire is full of ignorance. Not that there was ever any doubt.

  • @[email protected]
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    1414 days ago

    First and only and it looks like Babylon staff didn’t even come up with the idea - at the bottom it suggests this was a reader submission.

  • @[email protected]
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    1213 days ago

    It’s called leading through example, because the MAGA cult is so good at following the examples given to them.

    • مهما طال الليل
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      1013 days ago

      A millennia old Arabic saying goes something like: “If you honor the generous, you will own him… but if you honor the ignoble, he will rebel.” We all know leading through example is wasted on people like Trump.

  • @[email protected]
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    1113 days ago

    Good old right wing “humor” (punching down on everyone else because they consider everyone else beneath them). We’re all going to be seeing a lot of this type of “humor” (lynchings, book burning, singing about how wonderful being dictated to is) in the next 10 years or so.

  • @fleabomber
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    313 days ago

    Make sure Joe pardons the fuck out everybody on your way out. Also he should resign if only to fuck with their merch.

      • @[email protected]
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        113 days ago

        The genocide is only going to get worse. Though genocide don doesn’t have as much of a ring to it. Donny and Benny are best buds

    • @[email protected]
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      212 days ago

      I think the last few years have pretty much proven he doesn’t ‘need’ to do anything.

      • LustyArgonian
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        112 days ago

        Sure, because he is a foreign asset meant to transfer wealth to Russia from the US and destroy the US from within. It only benefits him to harm our country.

        But yes a competent leader would want things like info from those agencies and intelligence briefings etc so they are prepared on Jan 20.

    • Bakkoda
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      12 days ago

      It was required to be created before the election. So it’s pretty obvious they don’t care.

      I’m fact I’ll go as far as to say its intentional. They will scream that Biden is resisting the transition, trying to stage a coup, etc etc. The antics won’t stop just because he got elected.

      • LustyArgonian
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        112 days ago

        I assume everything Trump does at this point forward will be to benefit Russia and to start a civil war within the US.