- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
Florida State Senator Ileana Garcia has introduced legislation to prohibit “weather modification” activities in the state.
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God the American public is so stupid.
Republicans: chemtrails bad
Unless it’s just air, land, or sea pollution from our chronies.
God they’re insufferable.
Their state might sink under the ocean, but at least the sky will be free of linear water vapor. Freedom!
Kids. Don’t do drugs.
Kids, don’t be morons.
Ok. Then they can stop all the measures taken to protect citrus from freezing. That’s weather modification.
Honestly, this is a good thing. Red states should all pass ridiculous laws like this. Get thing awful bill passed, and then go to Florida and call 911 on every vapor trail or especially long cloud you see.
The Disney spray nozzles during Summer are weather modifications! Get them!
Oh boy, political theater. Assuming it’s not their actual crackpot belief. Given the Orange Idiot’s cabinet picks though, I wouldn’t bet in that assumption being accurate.
Let them pass it, take it to the state courts and then claim (correctly with mountains of scientific evidence) that any combustion of fossil fuels counts as “weather modification”
It sounds like they’ve thought of that:
The “Weather Modification Activities” bill sets out that “the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight is prohibited.”
So it allows releasing pollution that causes climate change since it is a side effect of other things (transport, power generation, etc.), but forbids intentionally trying to mitigate climate change by releasing anything into the air. Sounds about right for Florida politics.
That said, there is a real uncertainty about the side effects of may experimental geoengineering techniques, so some regulation is probably in order. Preferable not from Republicans for ignorant or bad faith reasons though.
Does this make outdoor misters illegal? Not sure how Disney World lines would be bearable in the summer without those misters cooling things down. But maybe they don’t consider water a chemical?
Nah, cause the intent is to make more money. Just happens to be by making customers more comfortable, which also just happens to be by adding moisture to the air. See, it’s a law designed to do nothing. Florida tax dollars hard at work.
They ripped off Tennessee’s bill.
https://wapp.capitol.tn.gov/apps/BillInfo/default.aspx?BillNumber=SB2691&GA=113
That’s kind of dumb, no? Because what if we need weather control to reduce the fucking temperature?!
If they voted to be cook, cook em.
We won’t, we have AC /s
That said, there is a real uncertainty about the side effects of may experimental geoengineering techniques, so some regulation is probably in order. Preferable not from Republicans for ignorant or bad faith reasons though.
Well, there’s relative certainty that the absence of major geoengineering will result in climate destabilization not compatible with human life, so, we’re like half a century overdue for worrying about how to tackle this in a controlled fashion.
We’re in the press-buttons-in-a-pure-state-of-panic-and-fucking-hope-one-of-them-fixes-something phase of climate science.
Worse case scenario, we majorly fuck up and our corpses crisp up slightly faster than the track we’re on now. Fuck it. Might as well try.
Cruise ships will have to shut off their engines 200miles from shore and coast in with their engines turned off … don’t know how they will leave port tho? … rowing like a Roman Trireme maybe?
No, because the bill only forbids emissions made for the express purpose of changing the weather. Cruise ship emissions, they’ll argue, are done for the purpose of making the ship go.
… rowing like a Roman Trireme maybe?
How else are cruise ship guests going to work off the all-you-can-eat ice cream bar available 24/7 on the lido deck?
Human breathing lets out CO2, a known greenhouse chemical.
So to be safe, just stop the breathing of everyone.
They’re going after people who plant trees…
Water trees, but basically yes.
Let them keep the ban.
Lmao, enjoy dealing with all the nuts trying to report “chemtrails” now.
Hell, maybe giving them a reason to flood legal channels is the goal and not the side effect.
Lol, they’re literally the state that needs weather modification the most. Just ask the remaining home insurers.
This is hilarious.
Moron signaling
So what about when Florida crops are starved for rain?
“the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight is prohibited.”
🤔 a substance or device released into atmosphere for the express purpose of affecting the temperature or sunlight intensity
Are they trying to ban misters, solar shades, and umbrellas?
Sorry outdoor restaurants, gonna need you to remove the umbrellas from your tables. They’re classified as an apparatus used for the express purpose of reducing the intensity of sunlight.
Uh, how does that qualify as “released into the atmosphere”
I mean during a tornado it could potentially be within violation but at that point there’s probably bigger issues.
The atmosphere starts where the ground ends.
I guess that means your head is in the clouds.
Wouldn’t put it past our court’s ability to interpret it that way.
Truth
They are going to ban any reference to a round earth next
Don’t forget spray sunscreen, and possibly minorities having sex?
somehow, they will definitely have a loophole for private jets …
If you have a private jet then you will probably just pay the fine and consider it a parking fee.
Reminds me of an actor/comedian that claimed to have ran a stop sign in front of a cop during a torrential downpour. When the cop is standing outside the car in the downpour and asked if the driver knew why he was pulled over the driver replied, “yeah, do you know why I ran the stop sign?”
Wait until airlines get fined for “chem trails”?
Or all the airlines pull out of Florida. (I realize that will not, but a boy can dream)
Oh they could and the old people there would suddenly be on Florida’s ass about this stupid law and get it changed very very quickly.
And also the Florida cruise industry collapses.
I fully support this bill. In our laboratory of democracy I think states should have the right to idiocy themselves into economic irrelevance.
Eh, it’s fairly unlikely but not that far fetched. A lot of insurance companies have pulled out of Florida now. So why not airlines if they start getting fined for bullshit reasons.
Rockets also leave contrails.
