• @fireweed
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    605 days ago

    Me trying to raise kids

    Well there’s your first problem

    • Porto881
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      275 days ago

      Also “trying to excel in my work.” Put in the same effort that your boss compensates you for.

      • @remer
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        125 days ago

        The trick of to have a net worth of at least $10M. It’s easy after that

    • @Skullgrid
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      175 days ago

      I can’t exactly cut the baby in half and jam it back into my fucking urethra.

  • @Delphia
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    325 days ago

    The secret is to give up on having time for yourself and find the zen in the things you have to do anyway.

    You ever wonder why dads tend to become all about their yard, their bbq and DIY? Because if I have to mow the fucking lawn, feed my family and fix shit all the fucking time I might as well find the satisfaction in a job well done.

  • @Grassgrowz
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    145 days ago

    instead of trying to excel at work, just libreoffice calc instead! badum ts

  • @palebluethought
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    165 days ago

    I know this is the least important one on there, but I don’t get this thing lately where people talk about “staying hydrated” like it’s some big challenge they have to put effort towards. Like… get thirsty, drink water?

    • @[email protected]
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      205 days ago

      Look at this person, with their ability to tell what their body needs or when they’re thirsty.

    • @noyou
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      25 days ago

      The trick is that you need to drink more than just “im thirsty”

  • @peaceful_world_view
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    125 days ago

    That’s exactly where “they” want you. Too tired to lop off heads.

    • @[email protected]
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      45 days ago

      When your scare quote “they” it makes you sound like you mean Jews.

      It’s Lemmy. Just say billionaires.

  • @LaunchesKayaks
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    75 days ago

    Replace kids with pets and add handling multiple chronic illnesses and it’s my life.

  • @[email protected]
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    10
    edit-2
    5 days ago

    I have failed the last one, going to go get some personal time off from work today, then maybe I can finally get some sleep.

    Edit: got it, now I can rest, well shitpost on Lemmy as therapy.

  • @sunbrrnslapper
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    105 days ago

    Btw, this look would be after I put time into my makeup and hair.

  • @moistclump
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    45 days ago

    I’m only trying to do two of these things and I still look like that.

  • partial_accumen
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    5 days ago

    “excel in my work” would be using a spreadsheet. “accel in my work” would be improving your skills/effort.

    edit: corrected. I was wrong.