• Lvxferre
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    9 months ago

    If moons were cats, most planets would be the typical cat dad/mum, and Jupiter would be that crazy old neighbour with too many of them.

    …wait a minute considering how our Moon developed, even moon adoption is cat-like! You don’t say “I want a moon”, the moon just hits you and say “you know what, I’m living here now!”

  • @Cornelius_Wangenheim
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    9 months ago

    Not shown: Jupiter occasionally tearing one apart and strewing its innards all around or abducting random passerbys and eating them.

    • @Etterra
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      339 months ago

      It’s okay, must of their kids are adopted anyway.

      • @[email protected]
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        109 months ago

        If I’m not mistaken, Luna is the only moon of same stone and lava as it’s parent planet. Charon, too, maybe?

        • @[email protected]
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          49 months ago

          The verdict is still out on the formation of Earth’s only natural satellite, the Moon. But yes, it may be mostly composed of ejecta from Earth after it collided and merged with another protoplanet.

      • M137
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        -189 months ago

        Read what you write.

        • Fushuan [he/him]
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          119 months ago

          Ever heard of black humor? Their comment is intentionally heavy to create a clash in the reader’s expectations.

    • pruwyben
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      239 months ago

      I was going to say, just like the god it’s named after, but I guess it was Saturn who ate babies.

      • @Viking_Hippie
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        189 months ago

        Who amongst us haven’t snacked on some infant from time to time? Amirite, fellow atheists?

        • @AngryCommieKender
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          69 months ago

          I’d expect that more from Catholics. They do the whole “body of Christ,” thing

          • @Viking_Hippie
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            9 months ago

            I had a good reply to this comment, but an anonymous mod deleted it for being “adult content/inappropriate”.

            Apparently it’s fine to joke about literally consuming the flesh of infants, but alluding in a lighthearted and completely SFW way to the fact that the catholic church is amongst other things a factory that produces pedophiles is verboten 🤦

            • @AngryCommieKender
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              49 months ago

              I managed to read that before it was removed. No sense of humor

                • @AngryCommieKender
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                  39 months ago

                  Of course. Lol.

                  They’re not actually violating "free speech,’ it just feels like it, cause we’re used to having to deal with massive corporations, doing a fairly effective job at trying to control everything, especially the free flow of information.

                  Bit of a shame really. I’m pretty certain that most of our users would support the right to free speech, but I also suspect that most, like me, don’t want to have to host their own instance so that rogue mods can’t run roughshod over our ability to communicate

    • @[email protected]
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      269 months ago

      Well, he is the god of war. He wishes his kids to grow up strong and respected like him. Don’t be so harsh on the guy, he’s doing his best you know.

      • FuglyDuck
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        99 months ago

        You know. This could be hilarious as a premise. I’m thinking a monte python style comedy.

        • @AngryCommieKender
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          99 months ago

          It’s called Life of Brian, they just weren’t aware that Yahweh was originally a God of War

          • @samus12345
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            19 months ago

            I thought he was a storm god.

            • @AngryCommieKender
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              29 months ago

              I’m not an expert. I read that EL was a God of War, which explains the first several books of the Bible

    • @FooBarrington
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      9 months ago

      “The moons of Fear and Terror” sounds like an amazing crossover between DOOM, Fear & Hunger and Darkest Dungeon

    • @Buffaloaf
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      169 months ago

      Appropriately enough Fear (Phobos) is slowly getting closer to Mars and will eventually crash into it.

    • hallettj
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      49 months ago

      Other planets have moons. Mars has a pair of hamsters. So hamsters named Fear and Terror.

  • @lugal
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    69 months ago

    I would take one it it came along but the process of getting my first moon… not again

  • tygerprints
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    39 months ago

    Jupiter and Saturn are laughing their "G"asses off at us. Look at that stupid little pea-sized earth with its single puny moon. And they can’t even get a lander on it upright!!!

      • tygerprints
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        29 months ago

        : ) I could’ve made a ‘uranus’ joke also, but that’d be going a bit far.

        • @robocallOP
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          19 months ago

          Obviously it wouldn’t work because Uranus is an ice giant and not a gas giant.

          • tygerprints
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            29 months ago

            Good point, and that’s what makes science so exacting and hard - finding ways to incorporate a “uranus” joke whenever possible.

  • Cosmic Cleric
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    29 months ago

    Lol, those moons better watch out. They’ve gone over the number 10! They’ll be reclassified as minor moons at any moment now.

    (Yes, I still think reclassifying Pluto as a minor planet is scientific bullshit.)

  • M137
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    19 months ago

    None if the Martian moons are round.

    • @[email protected]
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      69 months ago

      Someone redo this comic with Mars’s tiny potatoes dwarfed by Moon’s glorious, massive tide-inducing, rotation-slowing hugeness.