• @[email protected]
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    3 months ago

    I’ll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please

  • @Thebeardedsinglemalt
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    1203 months ago
    • Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer

    • Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper

    • The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through

    • Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers…all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR

    • Nfamwap
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      343 months ago
      • Burgers are served on a scaffold board/shovel/roof tile

      • Coleslaw is always referred to as house 'slaw.

      • Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.
        Eg. Triple cooked fries 4

      • @[email protected]
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        113 months ago

        Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.

        “Gourmet bacon and cheese burger - 15”

        15 what? Pence?

    • Captain Aggravated
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      263 months ago

      run by four interchangeable lumbersexual white guys in their mid 20s who are having the time of their lives and one white chick in her late 20s who is just so over it.

    • @raspberriesareyummy
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      73 months ago

      Lol that is so spot-on I can’t believe the parallels never occurred to me. One exception though, I really had good burgers in such a place in Haarlem / NL.

  • @TexasDrunk
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    693 months ago

    There’s a bar here with that aesthetic. They do serve ok burgers at slightly reasonable prices, but the secret is to become friends with the cooks. Then tell them that you don’t care what the upcharge is, but you want them to make you the burger they’d want and to have fun with it.

    Now I can go in and say “Tell them TexasDrunk wants whatever burger they want to send out” and 9 out of 10 times I get a burger that’s delicious (and sometimes insane). Usually they just charge me the regular burger price.

    I don’t do it often, but I got good friends and good burgers out of it.

    • Rhynoplaz
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      253 months ago

      Hell yeah! When I worked as a server, I would ask the cooks to make me a burger of the day for my lunch break. There was no “burger of the day” they just went wild and often times they required multiple “load bearing straws”.

      • @TexasDrunk
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        183 months ago

        People who go into cooking generally enjoy getting to be creative. I love those insane creations that require load bearing anything (although I don’t think I’ve seen straws, usually it’s toothpicks, skewers, or pickle spears).

        My absolute favorite wasn’t the tastiest but it was definitely the coolest. The guy made a pretty standard bacon jalapeno burger, added some house made barbecue sauce, cut it into pieces, skewered it, and served it as the garnish for a pitcher of micheladas.

        Note: A michelada is kind of what you’d get if a bloody Mary went to Mexico on vacation and added beer and spices.

        • @sulgoth
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          63 months ago

          Kinda sounds like what people do to Caesars around here. Buy a drink basically get a meal on a skewer sticking out of it.

          • @TexasDrunk
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            13 months ago

            It’s so strange, around here there’s no real difference between a bloody Mary and a bloody Caesar. I know what the difference really is but no one seems to give a shit at brunch.

            However, folks around here are super proud of their micheladas. Everyone does the clamato juice with vodka, beer, and Tajin. But they all try to outdo each other with the other spices and presentation.

            Other than my friend’s pitcher that I loved, the place that does the best micheladas in my opinion is Captain Tom’s. It’s the most mediocre seafood joint that is amazing when you’re getting over being fucked up. If I hadn’t been to Taqueria Ruby tonight to fix myself I’d definitely be there tomorrow morning trying to feel normal.

  • @[email protected]
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    503 months ago

    The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade

      • @dvlsg
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        3 months ago

        The best of those that I’ve found are often restaurant/something else in the same building. Like restaurant/laundromat. Or restaurant/rug shop.

      • @Agent641
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        13 months ago

        An angry Turkish man who doesn’t say hello, just glares sullenly at you until you order.

  • @SendMePhotos
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    403 months ago

    I went to a place like this once. Had a bison burger (?) and it was avtually fucking delicious. The fries were just “fries” but they weren’t bad in any way. Above average in flavor and consistency.

    I’m guessing most places like this are garbage and the one time I went, I got lucky.

    • @[email protected]
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      433 months ago

      It just the generic “burger place“ design. I haven’t seen a burger restaurant that doesn’t look like this.

      So it logically follows that all the bad ones will look like it

      • @psmgx
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        183 months ago

        Yeah the good burger places look mostly like this too. Or they did, and everyone copied it.

        A lot of em make good burgers, too. Just not $35 with fries level good

        • @[email protected]
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          83 months ago

          I hate $20 prices for burgers as much as the next warm blooded American but they are usually great. It’s a burger after all. That said it’s all about that bun!

          I live in northern VA and all the burger and bbq joints look like this, mostly.

          • @Carrolade
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            53 months ago

            it’s all about that bun

            Who are you who are so wise in the ways of culinary science…?

            Everything else is just a really good sear and not overdoing the toppings too much. Don’t even need fancy beef, just 80/20 chuck can deliver top notch results.

        • Biezelbob
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          33 months ago

          Not in my opinion; for me its always the shabby looking shacks that have the best burgers. Mostly were the locals go

    • @[email protected]
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      93 months ago

      Most of them are mediocre. Most burger places were mediocre, and then the American gastropub trend saw burgers being made nice as opposed to diner food or bar food. They could also charge more money because they were making nicer food.

      Eventually a bunch of the mediocre places shifted to try to also be nice, but mostly just increased prices, changed decor, and started using the word aioli more than mayo. Oh, and pretzel buns on burgers that got taller without being bigger and are cumbersome to eat.

      In the plus side, if you like a Swiss burger with a garlic aioli, a burger with a fried egg on it, or a burger with 2 pieces of bacon, a spicy BBQ sauce, and fried onion strings and you’re in the mood for some fries with bits of peel on them and a garlic Parmesan butter, then you know exactly what they’re going to put in from of you and exactly what it’ll taste like.

      Mediocre. Not bad, but definitely not the best you’ve ever had.

      • @FederatedSaint
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        13 months ago

        Lol I was JUST showing this to my wife and adding, and they use “aioli” on everything haha

  • @Wogi
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    293 months ago

    So the city I live in has a few of these and they’re some of the best burgers in town, for fairly reasonable prices.

    There’s a fucking war on here for the best burger and I’m so happy for it. We don’t fuck around with burgers.

    They’re so good and reasonably priced that the first time I saw this meme I was a little confused. Like yeah the aesthetic is kinda lame but that doesn’t change the food. Maybe the stools aren’t comfortable but like, there are regular tables. Like what’s the problem??

    Then I went to another city.

    My friends, I am so, so, sorry. You don’t deserve this. Good burgers aren’t hard, they’re really not. Just stay home, invest in a griddle. Even if it’s just a small one for your stove top, you can make better burgers at home. Make friends with a local butcher, he won’t steer you wrong. I don’t know what caused that trend but I know the only way to stop it is to stop going.

    • @[email protected]
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      113 months ago

      My city has both, and they’re decorated the same. I just wonder whether a really good burger place did this first and then crappy ones showed up to copy the decor and forgot to make the food good.

  • @LordCrom
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    193 months ago

    Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I’m paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway

      • @Agent641
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        43 months ago

        Australian hot pot, you have to catch the sheep yourself.

        • @not_woody_shaw
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          43 months ago

          It’s not a restaurant but the sheep looks kinda hot.

    • Funkytom467
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      3 months ago

      Pretty common grilling meat yourself in Japan, but for a steak just asking for how you want it done makes way more sens.

    • @[email protected]
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      143 months ago

      Australian and it’s accurate here. I suspect the trend is common wherever there’s a market for hipster burger places

    • Funkytom467
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      63 months ago

      Yeah I guess the trend as been imported to Europe in general, French here.

      Although in France some aren’t bad, just mid. The problem is they are ALL overpriced.

    • @rao
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      53 months ago

      I’m Indian, it’s accurate here too in most cities lol

    • Rolivers
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      13 months ago

      Netherlands too. I’ve learned to avoid such places.

  • @Sanctus
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    173 months ago

    And its name is always like some suburbanite place: The Yard, Patio Patties, Culdesac Restaurant & Bar

    • @[email protected]
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      3 months ago

      Either that or it sounds like they chose 2 Monopoly pieces at random

      The Top Hat & Thimble

      The Boot & Iron

      The Wheelbarrow & Cannon

    • @BobbyGasoline
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      83 months ago

      They have one here! I just subbed to it! All we need is wewantcups.

    • bruhduh
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      33 months ago

      r/moreplatesmoredates

  • @[email protected]
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    143 months ago

    Sed Porttitor isn’t even that good, I dunno why they need it on their menu a half a dozen times.

    • @hOrni
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      53 months ago

      And a beard.

      • @psmgx
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        63 months ago

        Described like half of all restaurants.

  • @_stranger_
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    123 months ago

    Seen this meme tons of times and I never noticed the menu was lorem ipsum

  • @garbagebagel
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    123 months ago

    This is absolutely not true.

    Sometimes it’s a very mediocre $8 taco.

  • Dendr0
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    103 months ago

    Don’t forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It’s like bitch please, you’re demanding someone pay a day’s wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.