- cross-posted to:
- leopardsatemyface
- cross-posted to:
- leopardsatemyface
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He should just douse the fire with bootstraps.
“Why isn’t throwing money at the fire making it stop???”
This is fun. This is the moment in history when the fire department stops being an example of successful socialism.
The government made a situation in which there’s no water available. That’s the problem with socialism: it’s a monopoly without an incentive structure to continue providing services. It’s great until the government fucks up the service so badly that nobody can get access to it. Then the socialized thing becomes a nothing.
Jesus you’re dumb
This was a case of not being prepared for climate change. There was four times the normal demand for 15 hours straight. The water ran out because nobody anticipated needing the amount they did. That wasn’t because of socialism.
Is having a functional society with public services not a good enough incentive for you ? that’s your return on investment
Yes, let’s scrap the whole thing because of this one fire. /s
There are 50 wildfires burning in the US right now, and that’s a very low number, only because it’s winter.
Do you realize just even 20 years ago how many kids used to die in fires? We’re doing fantastic. 50 years ago, I’d wager everyone knew a kid that died in a fire.
https://www.fireweatheravalanche.org/fire/
https://www.statista.com/statistics/376703/us-civilian-fire-deaths/
Please seek the nearest high school and complete your education champ.
Get fucked Keith, Crassus and his shitty private firemen haven’t been around for a fat minute. But hey you should celebrate, this is your free market paradise right here. Meteorological markets shorted the value of your home’s existence.
He’s gonna get an insurance payout like almost everyone there. I wouldn’t be surprised if state legislature takes tax money from the masses to make the rich who live there ‘whole’ on top of it.
Then there’s FEMA/Federal tax dollars that they’ll get even if the state government doesn’t hand them piles of cash.
They always get their payday. They never actually risk anything, they just steal from the middle class taxpayers.
Well think of the shareholders. This is gonna tank some insurance companies.
Bah, insurance companies never lose man. They’re just gonna crank up rates come policy renewal time and earn a commission/profit on top of the increased rates.
I don’t know, but I was being sarcastic. Fuck ‘em.
Fuck 'em. Lol
Yeah, dude doesn’t understand that old “I’ll put out the fire but you have to sell me your house for $5,000” trick
Congratulations! After processing your payment of $1392.63, we have put out the fire on your house.
Since everything else around you is still burning, we will require another $1392.63 to come out again.
People need to realize the rich are not smart. And when they fuck things up, we all suffer.
It’s nice to see them fuck around and find out, but we cannot afford to keep watching them find out on climate change. They’re going to get us all killed.
What did “the rich” do to create this situation where there’s no water to feed the hydrants?
Is it bad I kind of want to con these rich fucks out of some of their money so I can afford to move away from this greed prison country?
No not at all, they don’t deserve more money than us.
I know! But I always bog myself down with moralistic, philosophical questions like “is that how they got started?” and “does that make me as loathsome as them?”
Questions they I doubt they ever felt the weight of.
Most of them got started with generational wealth. Be careful though. The only crime the rich people get in trouble for is stealing from other rich people.
Just send them official looking bills with obtuse language describing the billed work. Many will just pay them without looking further into things. I once did a landscaping delivery to some nouveau riche looking a-hole who bragged about being so busy and rich, that he just payed whatever bills came in. He also wasn’t that, but liked to look the part. Probably swimming in debt right now.
Wait this is unironic? Like not trying to troll the ancaps or something? I’d troll it on r/austrian_economics if I wasn’t banned.
Have you tried being a faith healer for the rich?
You need to know how to launder money for that. A lot of those psychic/faith healer types the rich use are just laundering money for them.
So you’re saying I need to be an Asian Nail Salon faith healer?
those poor rich people! gasp!
Posts like these are why the next regime in both LA and California will be more conservative, even if that just means centrist.
The way these fires have unfolded indicate a pretty big failure of state and local government. It’s not the first time both entities have been caught unprepared for stuff like this.
Instead of having an honest conversation, the liberal world is just going “Drunpf bad”. Eventually most people are just gonna vote for someone who promises to fix things.
Welcome to the days before professional police and fire. Where only the wealthy could afford to pay for their homes to be protected or crimes against them to be pursued. The poor had to hope for community to come to their aid.
The police have always acted mostly for the benefit of the rich. American police started out as slave catchers for wealthy plantation owners.
All true. They protect wealth.
Calling it: Trump will privatize those services to ensure rich people never have to watch their houses burn because the firefighters were busy saving poors
The poor will just get substandard service and usage fees vs the rich who will get it included in their insurance.
And then there’s California, where nobody gets access to fire response
I feel really bad for the lungs of all the Angelinos who don’t deserve this, but I can’t say I haven’t enjoyed the fact that this fire is centered around an area where a bunch of rich fucks have their mansions.
Don’t worry, they’re insured
Apparently not for enough or he wouldn’t have posted that.
Losing your shit sucks, even if you do get a payout
I feel the same.
Remember… these are the oh-so-smart Richie Riches that gets to be the de facto ruling elites in our capitalism-addled society.
Ancient Rome had privatized fire department. Caesar’s friend Crassus got the job and used it to extort people to sell their homes in a neighborhood when a fire broke out. As a result he became one of the richest people in history. He was also killed by the Persians who poured liquid gold (or silver, depending on source) on his decapitated head and sent it back to Rome.
Also, the fires that broke out were mostly ones he started himself.
America’s original firefighters were private industry as well. They were known to loot peoples property and allow fires to spread in order to charge more for putting out multiple buildings. So it sounds like we have about 2000 years of history telling us private firefighters aren’t a great idea.
Without any irony at all these people simultaneously demand deregulation of all industries
Beaten to the Crassus comment 😮💨
On an unrelated note, “crass” basically means fat
Interestingly “krass” and “fett” are both informal/ slang in German for something incredible
Crasse in frensh has a “really bad”/cheap&bad connotation.
He was also killed by the Persians who poured liquid gold (or silver, depending on source) on his decapitated head and sent it back to Rome.
we should bring that back. the persians were onto something here.
Best I can do is liquid poo
sold
Oh look! It’s time to play “Fire, Water, Burn” by the Bloodhound Gang on maximum volume again.
We don’t need no water let the mother fucker burn
Burn motherfucker, burn
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
The only part of this that aged poorly is the Penn Gillette bit. He’s come around.
Immediately thought of this when I saw the screenshot.
Fucking brilliant every time
I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
That line gets me every time.
Anybody who claims crypto is useful for buying drugs is a fed. The blockchain contains the transaction history, you can trace a coin back to every wallet it’s ever been in. Buy your drugs with cash, but make sure the cash has been places: cash from an ATM might have no history aside from you withdrawing it.
Did you have to put a coin in your computer to write this comment?
I’m unsure about the drug trade, but isn’t Monero preferred for ransomware because it’s harder to track than Bitcoin and other crypto? I would assume if it’s good enough for ransomware hostage, it’d be sufficient for illicit purchases.
“Harder to track” is still easier to track than wiring funds overseas to an account made with a stolen identity.
A lot of countries straight up do not respect the FBI and US Government, or have privacy laws preventing cooperation. A popular route would be Switzerland > Trinidad > Russia (but not right now because the Russian monetary system is fucked), it will take forever for law enforcement to get cooperation and then at the end of the line Russia tells them to fuck off.
When Crypto scammers steal from people, they don’t steal Crypto. They have you wire money overseas.
When Crypto scammers steal from people, they don’t steal Crypto. They have you wire money overseas.
That right there tells you everything you need to know about how useful crypto is as a currency
It tells you how useful it is for covert transfers and discretion.
As I have laid out to multiple people: those have never been what it was for and by design never will be. It is a digital multiple ledger system which replaces the need for a bank.
EDIT: and to be clear theres nothing wrong with banks, but they’re inefficient for a lot of things like payment gateways and can be unreliable.
Yes, by all means, just add wire fraud and identity theft to your portfolio when buying some weed
The user above me said kidnapping. Also it might sound complicated but you could probably set it up in an afternoon.
pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it
For the bullet of course
Somehow I read that story in my mind in the voice of Matthew McConoghey…
So when I read the alright alright part it definitely had three Alrights.
Great story, got me hooked.
Edit: ah shit, i just read down below that it’s a well known cooypasta. Got me good
Nice to see this one here. Was going to post myself if no one had already.
You should consider a career as a cyberpunk satirist.It’s a well known copypasta
It’s from The New Yorker
As I was reading it, I kept thinking how the writing was higher quality than a usual shitpost… this all.lakes sense now!
Huh. TIL. I’ve never seen it before.
Exactly why I posted it! Enjoy.
