I hopped up and I said
“I don’t know, do you want to get something delivered?”
She’s like "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don’t even like liver!"
I’m like “No, I said ‘delivered.’”
She’s like “I heard you say ‘liver!’”
I’m like “I should know what I said.”
She’s like “Whatever, I just don’t want any liver!”
And I can hear his voice / the song while reading this
My wife sent me this unbidden
Meanwhile i’m double-digit hours away from WDW
You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter The Scary Door.
Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a [indecipherable], but you’re not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he’s a little drunk. It’s remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.
Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.
“Nooooooooo!”
(sips beer) Ahh!
I have combined the DNA of the world’s most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all!
Turns out it’s mankind
Man*
cursed by his own hubris…
Did you do this from memory? I want you to have done this from memory. You will be as a god!
I thought for sure this was a sex joke.
It doesn’t have to not be.
Took me a second. Can relate.
“Where do you want to eat?” “Anywhere is fine with me. You pick.” “How about burgers.” “No, I don’t want burgers tonight.” “How about…” “No. Not there.” “Okay, you choose.” “I don’t want to choose.”
It took a couple years to get my wife to be more assertive about this stuff. I’d just keep picking places I knew she hated until she’d make a decision.
Just the other day she turned it around on me. Asked me which of two options I wanted, I said whichever she feels like and she came back with, “No, I want to know what you want.” So I laughed and gave her my preference.
My wife and I always give each other 2-3 options and take turns narrowing it down. Same with movies: We start out with our Trakt list and take turns narrowing it down until we get something we both want to watch.
I gave up playing this game.
“You hungry? ‘Yes.’ OK I’m craving burgers from X place I’m ordering two burgers in 30 minutes unless you tell me you want something else.”
So far it’s working well. Either she orders from where I want or somewhere close by.
‘I’m feeling Chinese.’ Baby you can get whatever you want. I’ll hit two spots or switch my order.
Not sure what went wrong or right in my marriage but I can’t relate to these common tropes at all. Maybe it’s a difference in culture (I’m not from the US), but my wife and I both actively work to find a consensus in any decision no matter how small.
You’re probably not in the boomer generation:
They have this ‘I hate my wife’ trope in their humor for some reason.
Don’t mind us X-gen over in the corner. Sometimes it’s better to not be part of the disaster anyway.
Gen X is just slightly less ancient boomers with occasional tattoos tbh
Some of us actually give a shit about other people, just not enough of a shit to do anything about it, but we care…
Shush
I feel like you can track this some in early TV shows. Way back when, you had shows like I Love Lucy and Leave it to Beaver, featuring loving, largely functional families. Once this became an expected trope, shows like The Honeymooners and The Flintstones subverted that expectation, but became such a hit that they became the formula to emulate - so it became common to joke about marital strife.
Sometimes you’d get a show like The Addams Family, that would again subvert this new expectation; but they didn’t start becoming the norm until much more recently.
Or, slightly earlier, the characterization of Socrates relationship with his wife.
Yeah I’ve never really understood the “my SPOUSE am I right?” bits. That’s your spouse. You ought to…work on that.
Women in America (other countries too I’m sure) have been (and still are to some extent) treated like objects or property of a man. It’s barely been over 100 years (1910) since they finally earned their right to vote. It wasn’t until the 60s that no-fault divorce was allowed, as well as women being able to have their own bank accounts.
Even the Charleston Heston movie Soylent Green perpetuated the property stereotypes by calling all women in the movie “furniture”.
We’re still fighting some of these same battles today (no-fault divorce seems to be on the chopping block, and abortion is banned again).
So we “1st-world” Americans as a country still have a long way to go to bringing women (and other non-white male groups) to genuine equality.
Don’t forget that being a divorcee was a bad tag to have hung upon you.
Like, “How dare you not submit to his every need, to the point he looked elsewhere and moved on!!!” Regardless of the facts in any situation. It had such a strong shame hold on society that you still hear of women lamenting being young divorcees
Think you’ll find ‘Charleston Heston’ was the dance number performed to, “Don’t it Taste just like your Mammy’s?”, in the musical version of Soylent Green.
Boomers are just at the (hopefully) tail end of a long tradition of bad marriages. No fault divorce has only been in the US since the mid 1970s, so a lot of boomer parents were kind of stuck with each other. Today, there’s at least the possibility of parting amicably, before it all really turns to shit. The parents of boomers were a lot more likely to be coerced into early, or even arranged marriages by social and economic power structures. So boomers were brought up in environments where shitty marriages were common fodder for comedy.
By the time Gen-X & esp Millennials are born, women get a lot more autonomy, both parents frequently work and have active interests outside the home to temper home stresses, and it’s much more common to break up bad marriages and try again.
It really is amazing how much better life can be if one is not locked into rigid social structures.
Divorce was socially unacceptable, no matter the laws. That was a big deal.
You married a man. /s
In all seriousness. I have a happy marriage. We’re awesome at communication and never argue. But things get indescivie during take out. It just happens.
Oh my wife and I argue a lot. Sometimes we scream at each other. But we never stop communicating.
I think it’s healthy to argue. Just don’t go to sleep angry or let it fester. It’s when you start arguing about one thing and end up on another topic when you gotta watch out.
Why did you switch topics? Why didn’t you tell me X thing was bothering you?
Sometimes going to sleep is the best thing for your mood. Learn how to sleep angry
Exactly this. My wife and I work together, like the adults we are. Just be honest with each other.
After my wife heard a similar complain and we guessed that what they want is us being able to figure out their taste and preference, she now says: “CHOOSE MERE MORTAL YOUR FATE, know my heart’s desire wisely or perish”
Or something along those lines. She’s a Ghostbuster’s fan if you can tell.
I wanna marry your wife.
Seriously, is she single? Also, please don’t tell my wife that I asked.
I’ve allayed liked that the idea that if you say no to a suggestion in this situation, it is now your turn to suggest something.
Sounds like my wife.
(Oh no!) She's gonna rock down to *ELECTRIC AVENUE*Great now I gotta go listen to that song again.
Not that I’m complaining but it’s in my head now.
I’ve heard that the trick is to make it a guessing game.
We’re going to eat out tonight, but it’s a surprise. Guess!
Don’t always go with the first option, keep it random between options
You devious genius.
I hate this game, because I always try to pick their favorites lol. If they want something new, I have no idea, and we both end up upset
Oh I know a trick for that one too! Create some kind of pattern to the eating out that includes alternating on deciding a new restaurant without any input. This one works great if you do it intermittently along with the usuals with consensus
Wife bad
Why?
Saying “[thing] bad” on the internet is a way to ironically point out lazy boomer humor that relies on putting a particular group of people down in an unjustifiable way.
Boomer bad?
These two remind me of AJ and Miranda from the now defunct User Friendly webcomic. On the plus side, it would mean that AJ got his act together enough to be in a relationship with Miranda, but either she’s found a new favourite restaurant all of a sudden or he’s goofed something up and this is a subtle way of messing with him as revenge.
Guys, let me explain this weirdness. The woman usually expects you to lead, make the decision. You don’t ask, you tell.
“I know! Let’s go to $restaurant!”
Here’s the part where you’re expected to have a modicum of social skills, be able to tell if she likes the idea.
No? State another option. Don’t ask, state.
“Not liking that? OK, we’ll got to $restaurant2.”
Rinse and repeat.
Relationships require social skills, sorry guys, it’s true.
Yeesh. I like talking with my partners, not to.
PHP developer detected, fire the missiles
You’ve lost me. Why wouldn’t I ask my partner what she feels like? Is asking questions not a part of social skills?
Everyone hates on the guy, but he’s right. An average heterosexual relationship is between an overly sure person and a follower. There’s some hormonal explanation to it, I believe.
By observing perfectly normal happy heterosexual partnerships you’ll see exactly that dynamic. One person mostly decides, the other mostly accepts. And they’re both happy.
I had the luxury of asking some fairly smart and self-aware women why they behave like that with me, instead of trying to have an equal relationship, and their answer was that they simply like it that way. They like the comfort of things being taken care of and decided swiftly and confidently. And regularly their partner would do just that. They thought it was absolutely fine and actually pretty attractive.
Lemmy is a queer/progressive echo chamber, so the 95% of the population reality seems wrong and someone expressing its normality without over-explaining gets downvoted. Like the guy you were replying to. But in fact, it’s a solid dating advice for the majority out there.
Nah.
Holy shit. Andrew Tate is on Lemmy.
Nah, you’re just in a relationship with an immature person.
Wow! A real alpha male!
My gf would get real pissed, real fast if I acted like this and I love her for it.
See, this is why I like my relationships 50-50. We both agree on something and each one pays their own food and we’re back at the house bumping uglies. Done.
Where do we find these $resturants?
GET /Restaurants
Is the joke that he is smoking crack and hallucinating a world where the always stressful question “what dinner?” Is actually easily decided on?
No, the joke is that it’s The Twilight Zone.
I have never seen the twilight zone but the joke is on the people who downvote me cause “the twilight zone” is exactly the term i would use to describe the limbo feeling between “knowing i will require sustenance soon” and “knowing whats for dinner”
In the show, typically something out of the ordinary would happen during the opening scene, and the narrator would foreshadow how that small thing would have major consequences before declaring that the characters had entered The Twilight Zone.
In this comic, the narrator might say something like, “Meet Mrs. Anderson, a typical American wife who’s never quite sure where she wants to eat. But after a strong craving on a fateful night, she finds her next meal in The Twilight Zone.”
Anyway, he’s smoking a cigarette, not crack.
Also, the location is the Simpsons living room.
More or less. The man who appears in front of them is the narrator of “The Twilight Zone”, who frequently appears to explain that the events of moments earlier are happening in an alternate, impossible, universe.
