Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, in his first remarks after being elected Wednesday afternoon, told Members of Congress that “Scripture” and “the Bible” are clear that they have been “ordained” by God.

  • @baldingpudenda
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    2597 months ago

    Democrats should name all their laws after the Bible. Eye of the Needle bill: wealth tax and just demagogue that we need to pass this to save American souls. Mark 1:40 bill: universal healthcare

    • @[email protected]
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      7 months ago

      I legitimately and unironically would support this initiative. It’s a good idea.

      • @jarfil
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        127 months ago

        Vote YES on Joshua 6:25 and Ezekiel 23:20!

      • @Rukmer
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        17 months ago

        I’ve been saying this for a long time. I genuinely think this would yield better results.

    • @[email protected]
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      277 months ago

      It’s a great idea but unfortunately it has some significant flaws.

      First, I imagine quite a lot of the Christianity in American politics is performative. The politicians could just hand wave away the passages and say “That’s not what Jesus meant, he personally told me so”.

      The fundamentalists suckers would believe them and vote for them even harder and the ones that are drawn to religion for the excuse to abuse people won’t care as long as their abusive itches get scratched.

      The other problem is that if it did work, it’s comes across as more than a little Christofascist.

      The far-right and religious “in it for abuse” crowds would take to it like flies to dog shit and the bible has some horrific stuff in it that you’d definitely never want becoming law.

      Better to just pry fundamentalists and neoliberals from power so all they can do is seethe while progressives pass these kinds of laws. With genuine end times just around the corner, time is a factor.

      • @baldingpudenda
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        137 months ago

        Republicans will always find a way. Even if it contradicts what they just said a minute prior. You’re not gonna stop suckers from going along with ppl using them for power/money. We should just take the win.

      • @[email protected]
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        57 months ago

        a lot of the Christianity in American politics is performative

        That’s the point. Break suspension of disbelief and see the stage crumble.

      • @Daft_ish
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        27 months ago

        The biggest flaw is democrats have too much tact. They couldn’t possibly offend the people trying to oppress their constitutes.

    • @EatYouWell
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      137 months ago

      It wouldn’t work since none of the GOP has ever read the Bible.

      • Ænima
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        77 months ago

        When lemmy gives you lemons, make lemmy-nades! 💣

    • @[email protected]
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      97 months ago

      “The I Stand to be Counted as the Faithful of the Lord Spending and Appropriations Bill will now be voted on.”

  • @Gingerlegs
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    1827 months ago

    There is no place for religion in government. This is horrifying

    • @hansl
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      847 months ago

      Even Jesus thought so. “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s” means exactly that.

      • @EatYouWell
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        297 months ago

        Like these asshats have ever read the Bible. At least, nothing past the old testament.

          • GONADS125
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            Bringing up God summoning 2 bears to slaughter 42 children for calling one of his deciples a “baldhead” is always a fun tid bit!

            I would not call that a just or kind god.

            • @[email protected]
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              147 months ago

              Many of the OT stories are horrifying. Book of Job is probably the worst, where a petty God destroys a good and pious man to win a wager with Satan.

              Who would be interested in worshipping a God who would do such a thing to his own followers, and whose omnipotence is so limited that he can be tricked by Satan into performing evil acts?

      • @bemenaker
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        47 months ago

        Come on man, that would take way too much intelligence and critical thinking skill, for GOP voters to understand.

    • @[email protected]
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      167 months ago

      “Prosperity theology” often goes hand in hand with neoliberalism.

      If you’re not quite psychopathic enough for “I don’t care about the morality of using child slaves, only the profitability”, you can assuage that guilt with “If God didn’t want me to profit from child slavery, he would have stopped me doing it”.

  • @Furbag
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    1347 months ago

    What is the difference between this guy and a Taliban officer?

    I don’t care how much he enjoys talking about his favorite fairy tale novel, congress is not a book club.

    • @ExistentialKiwi
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      327 months ago

      Zero difference. They’re both the same shade of conservative, far-right, religious fundamentalist.

      • @Rakonat
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        267 months ago

        Not fair. The Taliban is honest witr his desire to oppress women, minorities and undermine all education. This guys pretends to stand for equality for all while in public

    • @[email protected]
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      267 months ago

      Oh, but that’s totally different! You see, their holy book is just a bunch of heathenish drivel, whereas our holy book is the one and only god given truth! How do I know? It says so right here in my holy book!

      • @bemenaker
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        87 months ago

        I had some bible thumping baptist going door to door tell me almost exactly that. I had time, and decided to amuse myself in engaging these two guys. I talked to them for about 20 mins before they left. I kept asking them to compare their religion to various religions around the world, including eastern relgiions, and was quoting passages from many of them. These guys clearly had never studied anything but their version of christianity. Their only defense was, “But this was written by our lord and savior, Jesus Christ”

        • @[email protected]
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          157 months ago

          But this was written by our lord and savior, Jesus Christ

          Did they say which part? I’m no theologian, but I don’t remember mentions of any actual writings by Jesus himself.

          • @[email protected]
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            27 months ago

            The argument usually is that the authors, compilers, and translators were guided by the hand of God. Not specifically that Jesus was sitting down with an inkwell.

            Closest thing is written accounts by the men who traveled with him about Jesus’s actions and statements.

          • @afraid_of_zombies
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            27 months ago

            He didn’t exist so he couldn’t have written anything. If he had existed and was raised in Nazareth he would have been in a village so small that it didn’t even have a place to pray and in a region so backwards that the literacy rate was around 1%. There are no works that people claim that he wrote. Even that was a bridge too far for them. Walking on water was more believable than being literate in that region.

    • @seaQueueOP
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      187 months ago

      What is the difference between this guy and a Taliban officer?

      That’s an easy mistake to make, this guy’s a Talibangelical

    • @[email protected]
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      177 months ago

      Same God, different prophet. So not much really. Except maybe that Taliban don’t ban abortion as far as I’m aware.

      • @[email protected]
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        17 months ago

        Nope, the Taliban are like christo-fascist fundamentalists in ignoring or intentionally misinterpreting their scriptures to ban abortion.

      • @mihnt
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        07 months ago

        deleted by creator

    • @Aceticon
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      97 months ago

      Hypocrisy.

      The Taliban are way less hypcrite.

    • @jarfil
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      -27 months ago

      Didn’t know this guy was an officer.

  • @cedarmesa
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    1317 months ago

    deleted by creator

      • @yemmly
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        97 months ago

        Well, at least we’re not killing it in the womb—the only unacceptable place to kill things. Let’s just deprive it of education and healthcare.

      • @ogoflowgo
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        37 months ago

        I read that in John Stewart’s voice.

    • @Feirdro
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      207 months ago

      It’s a multinational crime syndicate masquerading as a political party.

    • @Illuminostro
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      177 months ago

      You know, 80 years ago, we used to kill Nazis. Well, until we let the smart ones who built rockets and bombs come live here.

      • @abigscaryhobo
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        137 months ago

        I feel like even the smart ones who built rockets and bombs saw us killing nazis and were like “yeah that’s probably for the best”

      • Ænima
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        87 months ago

        A lot of Nazis, the high ranking ones, fucked off to Venezuela and other places when they saw the end in sight and knew their necks were on the line (literally in some cases) if caught. I can imagine some used their stolen wealth to continue that brand of hate for the last 80+ years. “The smart ones” were intentionally sabotaging the Nazi war effort and defecting to the Allies with information on the Nazis’ attempts at nuclear weapons. A lot of those scientists were never allowed to leave or live past the end of the war in Nazi Germany.

      • @Eldritch
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        47 months ago

        They were inspired by our fascists. Bringing them here change things so little that even the number of fascists overall in the United States and barely had a bump in their growth.

  • @[email protected]
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    1137 months ago

    “I believe that Scripture, the Bible is very clear that God is the one that raises up those in authority.”

    Oh, so since God raised Biden to Authority that means you’re going to respect God’s plan right?

    Lol… Yeah… You’ll all continue to pay lip service to the Bible as long as it serves your purpose.

    • @CoggyMcFee
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      Yeah. This sort of talk in a lot of organized religion is a well-established cue to the listener that they can shut off their critical thinking. The intended audience is accustomed to hearing it and welcomes it, because they have the same goal as the one who says it: to have the thing they want be right.

      So their minds don’t start extrapolating to see if the words hold up to scrutiny. That’s the last thing they’d want to do.

    • @Adalast
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      67 months ago

      I move to change

      pay lip service to to manipulate and contort

      Especially considering religious leaders are taking Jesus OUT if their sermons because he is too liberal for them.

      • Eh-I
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        47 months ago

        If you take Jesus out aren’t you just back to Judaism?

          • @Drivebyhaiku
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            37 months ago

            Gods I hate that guy. Why so many people don’t question why they should listen uncritically to the guy who hit his head on a rock and hallucinated Jesus and used the whole thing as a thinly veiled reason to tell people how to behave is just…

            • @afraid_of_zombies
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              I am sorry but I think you are a woman and I don’t permit you to preach or led me. Go ask your husband at home to explain it to you.

              Now if you ask me I have a convoluted manifesto to write about the humanity of Jesus that proves that I can eat bacon. Let me send you 90 letters on the topic.

              • @Drivebyhaiku
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                27 months ago

                Ah well, half right. I definitely have a husband but am also not a woman so I think I am probably disqualified from discourse on other stupid rules that Paul completely made up.

                You got any extra bacon to share though?

                • @afraid_of_zombies
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                  17 months ago

                  Ah well, half right. I definitely have a husband but am also not a woman

                  Bad news about that. He singled out the LGBT freaken twice for hell fire. Lived in a world where slaves could be executed on a whim and this is the group he decided to go after.

                  You got any extra bacon to share though?

                  I would but Paul told me I would die if I didn’t give him all my bacon.

        • @[email protected]
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          37 months ago

          I read this as a Judas joke which I loved, hopefully I wasn’t correct or my comment is dumb for pointing out the obvious. Lol

        • @Adalast
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          27 months ago

          I think they are aiming to be left with capitalism.

    • @[email protected]
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      37 months ago

      What do you expect when your government is comprised of a bunch of greedy scummy lawyers.

      They will say literally anything to get power. Speech is rhetoric and they care nothing about reality.

    • @EternalNicodemus
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      167 months ago

      Lmao, God has nothing to do with those guys💀

      • Nima
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        277 months ago

        god isn’t a good guy. he’s a villain. they can have him.

          • @[email protected]
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            227 months ago

            Nah, just the Abrahmic god that decided to flood the world and kill nearly everyone on it innocent or not.

            • @[email protected]
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              7 months ago

              “Kill your son.”

              “What…?”

              “Do it, prove to me that you care more about doing what I say than you do about your own son.”

              “Are you serious? That’s horrible.”

              “Fucking do it. You want to spend infinite lifetimes in permanent anguish? Kill him. Now. Cut him open on that big flat rock over there. Gut him with a big fuck off knife, like a sword or something. Slice him up.”

              “But he’s my son, I live him.”

              “Sharpen the knife first then. Kill him, or I kill you, and him, and the rest of your family.”

              “Ok, but, ffs, this is insane…”

              “Haha I was just foolin, you don’t have to. I was just joshin. Just joshin with ya.”

              “Should I… Do you want me to kill my son or…”

              “WTF no! I was just messing around. But seriously don’t ever disobey me or you’re fucking done.”

              • @madcaesar
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                77 months ago

                God douche: It was just a prank dude! Since 7th centru AD!

              • Alien Nathan Edward
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                37 months ago

                Impractical Deities be like “Okay Sal, now tell him to bring his kid up to the top of the mountain and kill it.”

              • @Shapillon
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                147 months ago

                Hey you’re gonna die, it’s on you now wink

              • @[email protected]
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                57 months ago

                Noah warned some people, what about the rest of the planet? I’m sure native Americans enjoyed suddenly being drowned with no warning.

          • Alien Nathan Edward
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            197 months ago

            Nope, talking about the one who told his followers to rip fetuses out of the bellies of pregnant women and smash them against the rocks, and to take any virgin girl children they find as sex slaves

          • Nima
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            107 months ago

            yahweh’s murder count is well over 2 million. he’s pretty much the god of murder.

          • @afraid_of_zombies
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            87 months ago

            To be clear there is no god. Also to be clear the stories you have about your god describe a poorly written villain who even if it were real, again it isn’t, deserves nothing from humanity except contempt.

            • @twisted28
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              deleted by creator

    • Enma Ai
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      237 months ago

      That’s way to low of a dose for hallucinations.

      Start with 300mg XR and up the dose of necessary

      • CashewNut 🏴󠁢󠁥󠁧󠁿
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        107 months ago

        Jesus Fuck! I was put on 10mg for a month and it turned me into a fucking mindless zombie. 300mg would comatose me.

        • Enma Ai
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          57 months ago

          I think you’re misremembering. 25mg is the lowest dose for quetiapine

          • CashewNut 🏴󠁢󠁥󠁧󠁿
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            37 months ago

            Yes it did have that effect too! My memory of the month is fuzzy at-best. So it would have been 25mg. It was the lowest dose. I remember halving it after the first day it was so strong. :/

  • @[email protected]
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    917 months ago

    And the Constitution and its Amendments are very clear about a separation of church and state.

    • @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
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      387 months ago

      Some idiots think it means the government can’t do anything to regulate churches. There a bunch of laws that disagree.

      • @RGB3x3
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        237 months ago

        It actually explicitly doesn’t say you can’t relate churches.

        “Shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”

        If we’re going strictly by what the words say, as long as the people are still legally allowed and freely allowed to practice their religion, Congress technically has the right to regulate religious institutions to their hearts content.

        It’s not like it says “shall make no law regulating an institution of religion.”

        • @GraniteM
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          87 months ago

          The Vermont Constitution has a much more explicit freedom from religion:

          Article 3. [Freedom in religion; right and duty of religious worship]

          That all persons have a natural and unalienable right, to worship Almighty God, according to the dictates of their own consciences and understandings, as in their opinion shall be regulated by the word of God; and that no person ought to, or of right can be compelled to attend any religious worship, or erect or support any place of worship, or maintain any minister, contrary to the dictates of conscience, nor can any person be justly deprived or abridged of any civil right as a citizen, on account of religious sentiments, or peculia[r] mode of religious worship; and that no authority can, or ought to be vested in, or assumed by, any power whatever, that shall in any case interfere with, or in any manner control the rights of conscience, in the free exercise of religious worship. Nevertheless, every sect or denomination of christians ought to observe the sabbath or Lord’s day, and keep up some sort of religious worship, which to them shall seem most agreeable to the revealed will of God.

          • CashewNut 🏴󠁢󠁥󠁧󠁿
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            107 months ago

            Everytime I hear of Vermont it feels like the only sane, progressive state in the US. It almost feels like a seperate country compared to everywhere else.

            What’s the opinion of it in the US?

            • @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
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              27 months ago

              I’d move there if y’all had better winters and beaches.

            • @afraid_of_zombies
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              It is entirely composed of a coat factory, an ice cream factory, and B&Bs.

              • Doubletwist
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                57 months ago

                A few more brown folks here and there wouldn’t hurt.

                Be the change you want to see in the world.

                We’re the thinking of Vermont as a possible destination once my wife is eligible for her full retirement pension, and we can get out of this christo-conservative, handmaid’s-tale-wannabe, craphole of a state (Texas).

                We’re not ‘brown’ but it would still be nice if Vermont had some more diversity by the time we get there.

        • @afraid_of_zombies
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          27 months ago

          “no law” is not literal it is aspirational. At least according to what I have heard. If it was literal there could be zero rules about speech which breaks the constitutional ideas of oath of office and treason charges.

          The aspirational would be a government that doesn’t even know religion exists. It is taxed, regulated, and given the same respect as any other institution.

      • @[email protected]
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        47 months ago

        A bunch of states don’t tax church property and both states and feds don’t tax earnings for this reason.

      • cannache
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        -27 months ago

        Who watches the nightwatchers? Who or what systems could regulate the government? Ask yourself

        • @HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
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          47 months ago

          Oh yeah the churches are the group that I’m gonna trust with that.

          • cannache
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            17 months ago

            Can the argument not go both ways? I’m not saying I would trust the church to watch over the government or vice versa I’m simply making an observation that tyrannical government overreach etc is plausible and a potential cause for concern for any person that places a degree of their trust in the systems or bodies around them

      • @[email protected]
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        7 months ago

        All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

        This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

        The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be Required as a Qualification To any Office or public Trust under the United States.

        Specifically, I like this line here, that was present in the third paragraph I quoted from the Constitution:

        no religious Test shall ever be Required as a Qualification To any Office or public Trust under the United States.

        Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that mean that we specifically don’t care if God, Allah, Buddha, or whoever says they are supposed to be in power?

        Edit: and since we both want to be dickheads, today, why don’t you show me where it says in the Constitution to base our laws around the bible?

        • @[email protected]
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          -157 months ago

          None of that says that church and state must be separate, just that there can be no religious test. There’s nothing in there barring him from saying “I think God blesses the people here”

          In fact, to really be edgy, that also doesn’t prevent the government from say donating $10B each year to some Christian church.

          To your second point, I never suggested that the Constitution says we should base our laws around the Bible.

          My only point is the oft quoted Separation of church and state is only an idea from the Jefferson papers. If you want to make sure church and state remain separate, and the new speaker doesn’t start using federal funds for his church, perhaps it’s time to actually put separation into the Constitution?

          • @[email protected]
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            If no qualifying religious measure can be used to install a person into office, it stands to reason that religious belief shouldn’t come into play.

            I would hope our (the US’) political system would be aware enough that writing private funding into any religious system would be seen as favoritism and the remaining belief systems would be righteously offended at the lack of consideration, or perhaps even the outright rejection of our beliefs.

            This nation was built on immigrants (and the blood of natives, but that isn’t what we are discussing) from every walk of life, every religious circle. To disregard others in favor of your own belief SHOULD be political suicide. These elected officials, after all, supposed to be elected to help with the concerns of the WHOLE populous, after all, not just a specific subset.

            Playing religious favoritism has a high potential to try to convert the country into a religious state, as funding continues to be funneled into these specific religions, and in turn the churches funnel money back into the candidates as lobbying.

            Coming to that point, does anyone who wants to to fund the church with government money which would be better used to take homeless off the streets, feed homeless children, or making people’s lives in general, don’t have the people’s, or even God’s best interests at heart?

            Do they tithe their first ten percent, as the Bible says? Surely it would be in their tax records as charitable donations? If not, that would make me even more suspect of their intentions.

      • @[email protected]
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        117 months ago

        “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”

        • @[email protected]
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          -77 months ago

          That’s really more a bar on state religion, that again doesn’t really prevent our new speaker from say proposing a bill that donates Federal funds to his favorite church, so long as the government isn’t in control of said church.

    • @seaQueueOP
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      1397 months ago

      The French invented a wonderful device to cure sufferers of the divine right delusion:

      • @Dkarma
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        457 months ago

        Leaders claiming divinity leave the proletariat no choice but to demand proof

  • Carighan Maconar
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    Imagine if religious fundamentalism wasn’t acceptable for a statesman. What a crazy modern world we could be living in.

    Although I guess in the case of the US, the country was founded out of religious fundamentalism in its entirely, and from a clean slate. Much more difficult to untangle it.

    • qyron
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      347 months ago

      Unless my history lessons are evading me, your country was founded by deists running from fundamentalists.

      • @jarfil
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        427 months ago

        Fundamentalists running from people not letting them be as fundamentalist as they wanted.

        • @orrk
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          87 months ago

          only some of the people were fundamentalists running from people who didn’t let them be fundamentalist, they also had a great many wars with the government because of it

          • @paintbucketholder
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            17 months ago

            Anabaptists had an end-time cult, took over cities, instituted religious law, legalized polygamy for their leaders, and publicly beheaded their opponents. They were basically the ISIS of their day.

        • Cethin
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          87 months ago

          Some of them, especially during the colonies founding, and especially up north. Jefferson, for example, was a deist though, which believes God (the one from the Bible) exists, but he doesn’t interact with anything.

        • @Eldritch
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          You’re both right. Though the diests tended to be the ones more in the government itself. We had our fair share of fundamentalists to fundamental for back home.

        • qyron
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          37 months ago

          The sad part is that your constitution was considered groundbreaking for the time and some say it influenced the french revolution.

      • @RaoulDook
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        67 months ago

        Yes the USA was founded by deists, after the fundamentalists had settled the frontier land. It’s both basically.

  • ohmyiv
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    He did it. He said the magic words that turn on a neverending money tap from “christian” conservatives who aren’t smart enough to tell when they’re getting grifted.

    • @EatYouWell
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      117 months ago

      Well, that’s because they’ve been indoctrinated since birth into a cult that exists to gift people.

  • @[email protected]
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    697 months ago

    “I don’t believe there are any coincidences in a manner like this. I believe that Scripture, the Bible is very clear that God is the one that raises up those in authority. He raised up each of you, all of us. And I believe that God has ordained and allowed each one of us to be brought here for this specific moment in this time. This is my belief. I believe that each one of us has a huge responsibility today, to use the gifts that God has given us to serve the extraordinary people of this great country and they deserve it.”

    That includes the Democrats, right?

    • @captainlezbian
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      407 months ago

      On but that includes like Stalin too, like does he not hear his words?

      • kase
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        117 months ago

        God totally “raises up those in authority,” he just makes oopsies here and there all the fucking time.

        Or maybe he’s evil. Or he changes his mind a lot. Or maybe, possibly, y’know… the dude doesn’t exist.

        • @abigscaryhobo
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          87 months ago

          Nonono you see God raises up all the “good” people, all the “bad” people were godless heathens.

          See the “good” people appeal to Gods followers by claiming to be a prophet of gods wisdom and telling them to vote for them on faith. The “bad” people tricked and manipulated others into gaining their power by posing as false prophets and liars.

          Do you see the difference?

          • kase
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            47 months ago

            they’re the same picture .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠⁠·⁠.

    • @teamevil
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      117 months ago

      Jesus tap dancing on a cracker Christ maybe just maybe it’s Satan‽

      • @bmsok
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        17 months ago

        I prefer the simpler Jesus Backflipping Christ but I love yours, too

        • @teamevil
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          27 months ago

          I felt I needed to chose violence