• @PunnyName
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    3461 year ago

    “Being a lesbian sucks sometimes. You tell another girl she’s a hottie, and she says, “thanks” like we’re being friendly. I ain’t just being friendly, I’m trying to fuck!”

    I think I translated it correctly.

    • @ladicius
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      1291 year ago

      Thanks for translating. As a non native English speaker I nearly got a stroke trying to understand these… words.

      • Zagorath
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        621 year ago

        To assist:

        • Lesbo: short for lesbian
        • Pish: an expression of frustration
        • Bangin’: hot
        • nd: and
        • ye: you
        • am no: I’m not
        • tae: to
        • yer: your
        • pal: friend
        • shag: have sex with
        • Punkie
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          1 year ago

          I got all of that except “shag ye x,” because it sounds like “shag (fuck) you x,” where “x” is the subject that is a bit vague. Like, “I’m trying to shag you, love?” or “Fuck your ex,” as in, the last person you broke up with?

          • @[email protected]
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            451 year ago

            “x” is a kiss, used as an informal “yours truly” in British English digital correspondence

            • Lemminary
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              111 year ago

              Wait, I thought ‘x’ was hug and ‘o’ was kiss. Have I been wrong all these years??

          • Zagorath
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            171 year ago

            I could be wrong, but I thought the x at the end was just a cutesy sign-off. Like “xoxo” type of thing.

          • @ZeroTHM
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            161 year ago

            Pretty sure it’s the x in “xoxo”, the old convention for hugs and kisses.

      • @x4740N
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        331 year ago

        As a native English speaker I nearly got a stroke trying to figure out what it said

        • @cmbabul
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          1 year ago

          I had to imagine Karen Gillan saying it

      • @ramenshaman
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        221 year ago

        As a native English speaker, me too.

      • u/unhappy_grapefruit_2OP
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        1 year ago

        Should watch still game. You’ll end up with a brain aneurysm trying understand the Scottish pensioner’s

          • u/unhappy_grapefruit_2OP
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            41 year ago

            Personally father ted takes the cake in my books I’ve still got father Jack Hacketts wise words ingrained into my head

            • drink feck arse girls

            .such words of poetry such words of expression these words are moving pieces of poetry

    • @[email protected]
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      221 year ago

      Isn’t “coming from you” a put down? Or does it more mean “you care about fashion and looks, so obviously you know”?

      • @captainlezbian
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        631 year ago

        It’s an amplifier. “You’re hot” makes it mean “someone as hot as you thinks I’m hot? Damn”, “you smell terrible” makes it mean “how the fuck do you of all people even notice my small with that rank odor”

        • @x4740N
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          1 year ago

          “You’re hot”

          Reminds me of that one scene in arcane

          You’re hot, cupcake

          • @PunnyName
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            21 year ago

            Can’t wait for a second season. That shit was too good!

      • @jpeps
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        51 year ago

        It’s ambiguous, but the 👸 emoji solidifies it as a positive comment.

    • @CobblerScholar
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      161 year ago

      …And she says, “thanks” knowing I’m a lesbian and appreciate female beauty sexually taking the complement more intensely. I ain’t just being…

      ITIFTFY?

    • Phoenixz
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      91 year ago

      I think gays and straights have the same problem, though.

    • @dejected_warp_core
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      31 year ago

      That’s how I read it too.

      Also, this is how a girl politely turns you down. I take heart that lesbians are in the same boat as hetero guys when it comes to this struggle. I read this and think “oh, girls are bad at this too!”

  • @Jackcooper
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    1241 year ago

    I swear Scottish people are the only ones who type in their own phonetic accent

        • @force
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          1 year ago

          yea and galician “looks like” a dialect of spanish, norwegian “looks like” a dialect of danish, and afrikaans “looks like” a dialect of dutch. hell, i can say english “looks like” a dialect of ulster scots. “dialect”/“accent” and “language” are meaningless words

          that being said the text in this post is scottish english, not scots

            • @[email protected]
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              41 year ago

              Wikipedia does explain that Scots and English are sister languages, they both descend from Old English. Neither is a dialect.

      • @[email protected]
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        191 year ago

        A geh, is doch iagendwie liab, oda?

        Übahaupt, jetzt wo si Hochdeutsch imma mea duachsetzt, und vü junge Leit übahaupt nimma richtig östareichisch1 redn leanan, missn ma doch schaun, dass unsa Sproch net oafoch ausstiabt, oda?

        Mia hom a a longe Tradition, wonns um Mundoatdichtung geht. Da Dichta von da obaöstareichischn Hymne zum Beispü, da Stelzhamer Franz, hot gonz vü in Mundoat gschribn.

        Und weis ma grod eifoit: Es gibt a a eigene Wikipedia in unsam Dialekt: https://bar.wikipedia.org/ Oba do dua i ma söm schwah, dass i des vasteh. De is scho in da äagstn von de oagn Mundoatn gschribm.

        (So, jetzt woas i net, wöcha Sproch i im Dropdown do untn auswöhn soid… Wei wirklich Deitsch is des jo net…)

        [1] I am fully aware that the dialect I’m writing in is not called “Austrian”. The two big dialects spoken in Austria are “Alemannic” and “Bavarian”, and the one I’m writing is the Bavarian dialect. I’m only using the word “östareichisch” here, because that’s what I expect most people to use in spoken conversation.

        • @[email protected]
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          91 year ago

          Oh Gott, Oida. Ich habs gerade geschafft, den Text zu entziffern. Aber ernsthaft, ich glaub bei sowas immer auf den ersten Blick, dass da wer nen Schlaganfall bekommen hat und einfach mit dem Gesicht über die Tastatur gerollt ist lol.

          • @[email protected]
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            31 year ago

            War ja auch nicht ernst gemeint. Ich bin bei diversen Chats im Freundeskreis eigentlich immer der einzige, der auf Hochdeutsch antwortet 😉.

    • Stamets
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      221 year ago

      Newfies do the same. Was a whole fuckin thing to unlearn when I found the Internet lol

      • @Jackcooper
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        381 year ago

        I’m a northerner and I still had to accept the unimpeachable logic that y’all is a versatile and useful word

        • @[email protected]
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          161 year ago

          The English language is sorely lacking gender neutral pronouns so it’s nice that one is getting added

              • @HowManyNimons
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                1 year ago

                “You” is gender neutral, in its singular and plural form. “Y’all” is a useful plural form of “you” but as a New Zealand-English hybrid I do not have the accent to pull it off. If I could shift my accent further north perhaps I could get away with “thou” and “ye” for singular and plural forms, but only where they fit grammatically.

                • @[email protected]
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                  11 year ago

                  It is explicitly plural where ‘you’ is hard to pull off as plural because it leans heavily towards singular, just like ‘they’ leans heavily towards plural. At least in the US afaik the main competitor is ‘you guys’ for plural, which is one of those terms that is normally meant as gender neutral but the words clearly are not. So despite being from a place where that is the correct way to say it I’m in favor of y’all becoming the standard across the whole language, which it seems like it might be moving towards doing.

          • @SCB
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            61 year ago

            “ya’ll” is also American English’s answer to the problem of not have a plural form of “you” (see also: “you guys” or “you all” from which ya’ll is derived).

            Due to English being heavily influenced by Romance languages, but not taking its grammatical structure purely from them, we really had no single-word version of “vous” (I don’t know other romance languages aside from French).

        • @dejected_warp_core
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          21 year ago

          Easily America’s best contribution to civilization, after “right (turns) on red”.

          And I’m glad it’s catching on instead of “you’uns”, “yuns”, or “yous”.

          • @Demdaru
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            01 year ago

            Is it tho? I have to often times actually cool off people I know because they praise USA so hard without knowing shit.

      • Lemminary
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        191 year ago

        I’m not American and I will forever type y’all because it’s useful and I like it lol

      • @[email protected]
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        91 year ago

        Y’all is just a useful word, other ways of referring to a group of people are ambiguous, esp. now that They doesn’t always mean multiple

  • @shalafi
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    681 year ago

    It’s easier if you read it out loud with a Scottish accent. Works for novels as well!

    “Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna’ be fooled again!”

    ― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

    • @maryjayjay
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      181 year ago

      I had to read half of Trainspotting like that!

        • @shalafi
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          131 year ago

          Fucking. Genius.

          Welp. We’re friends now. What are you doing tonight?

          • @samus12345
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            1 year ago

            I actually never knew until I was looking that picture up that it was a direct parody of the Trainspotting poster. Makes it even better!

      • @shalafi
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        91 year ago

        One of, literally, 1,000 moments where I thought, “Wait. Why are they ‘pict…’ Ah hell no.”

        The most brilliant and entertaining series I’ve ever read. Plowed all 41 in just a couple of months.

    • @SirSamuel
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      61 year ago

      Ye gods, Wee Mad Arthur was bad enough. At least he’s inside pissing out

    • @[email protected]
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      121 year ago

      The least politically loaded and agenda-pushing peopletwitter. That sub encapsulates the lightheartedness of Scottish people.

      • no banana
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        11 year ago

        Just don’t ask them about Brexit

  • @dylanTheDeveloper
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    281 year ago

    The names James, Bond James, Bond James is having a stronk call the bondulance

      • u/unhappy_grapefruit_2OP
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        1 year ago

        West country you say wes… Oh no oh lord not cornwall cornwall makes me want to bash my head into a wall I’ll rather watch paint dry on said wall than listen to someone from Cornwall describe Cornwall history OH DEAR GOD HE WONT BLOODY SHUT UP HELP ME THE VOICES… THE VOICES… the voices… THERE SPEAKING TO ME THEY WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT WHEN THE FIRST CORNISH BAKERY OPENED UP IN 1887 OH DEAR GOD NOT ANOTHER FACT ABOUT CORNWALL

    • @rockSlayer
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      91 year ago

      A lot of privateers were from Scotland and Ireland!

  • @Smoogs
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    121 year ago

    Is there a Duolingo for this particular language?

  • @Ddhuud
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    71 year ago

    I think I’m having a stroke.

  • @x4740N
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    61 year ago

    I can’t figure out what half of that says and want a translation

    • @[email protected]
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      1 year ago

      Being lesbo sucks. I tell a girl that she’s banging and you get “coming from you 👸🏼”. Literally no, I’m not saying that to be your pal, I’m saying it to shag you…

      Or something, I’m not Scottish

        • @TrickDacy
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          91 year ago

          I can barely understand the gist of what you wrote. I’m genuinely curious how English did this… I assume from mixing with Celtic/gaelic languages?

          • PhobosAnomaly
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            51 year ago

            No idea. The Doric branch of Scots is something else, it’s wild. Even if two people local to a particular area from thirty or forty miles away are gabbin awa to each other, I can just about follow the thread of the conversation but I couldn’t pick out every single word.

          • Zagorath
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            21 year ago

            I don’t think anything in @[email protected]’s comment is particularly Celtic/Gaelic-inspired.

            Banging is slang for hot. Pal means friend. Shag means have sex with. They’re all fairly common slang in the English language even outside of Scotland. Mostly in England, but elsewhere in the Commonwealth most people would be familiar with the terms, even if it wouldn’t be the first slang term they themselves would use.

              • Zagorath
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                41 year ago

                Ah sorry. I misread and thought you were replying to the parent comment of that comment.

                Anyway, I’ll admit I’m struggling with that one too. My best take:

                Maybes naw: I think this is literally “maybe no”, possibly used equivalently to the Aussie “nah yeah” (meaning “yes”)?

                ye ken: you know

                fit like: quite hot

                spot on: exactly

                min: ???

                But I don’t really see how they fit together.

                • PhobosAnomaly
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                  1 year ago

                  You’re almost there - “fit like” is an expression particularly unique to the north east of Scotland, and it’s super versatile. On it’s own, it’ll mean “what’s happening” or “how’s it going?” - then it can be used in various contexts like “fit like i day” as in “how are you today?”, or in this case “you ken fit like”, “you know how it is” or “you know the score”.

                  “Maybes naw” is pretty much spot on though, unless used in the context “maybes aye, maybes naw” where it’s less of an unsure expression, and more of a deliberate evasion of the question.

                  e: “min” is just a local substitute for “man”, as in “hey man” (“alright min”) or “nice job, man” (“quality, min”)

                • lad
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                  31 year ago

                  It seems to me that “fit like” means “kinda correct”

                  Beats me to “min”, though

        • Zagorath
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          41 year ago

          Do Scottish people use “fit” like that? I know it’s used in England, particularly the north, but I don’t think I’ve seen it from Scotland. Probably says more about how much exposure I’ve had to Scottish culture though.

          • PhobosAnomaly
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            21 year ago

            Yes and no - it can be used to express someone finding another attractive, but in certain parts (particularly the NE) it’s more of a nuanced “what”, with it’s specific meaning depending on context.

            Language is wild.

      • ChaoticNeutralCzech
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        11 year ago

        she’s banging

        “coming from you 👸🏼”

        Can someone explain why anyone would reply like that? I am not a native English speaker. I could understand “coming [to answer the door] for you, queen” but not anything “from you”.

        • eels
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          41 year ago

          It’s short for something along the lines of „that statement means a lot coming from you, as you are also very attractive“

          • @GelatinGeorge
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            41 year ago

            Not quite: it means “yeah, but you’re a girl so you would say that to be my friend”. Source: I’m terminally Glaswegian

        • u/unhappy_grapefruit_2OP
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          1 year ago

          excellent or impressive. “a beautiful celebrity with a banging bod”

          Scran is slang used to describe food,leftovers etc

          So I might say m8. For an example that’s some banging scran you made m8

        • @HowManyNimons
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          11 year ago

          Looks like you’re getting a lot of interpretations. I’d have thought it was more like: “Because you’re a lesbian and have particular appreciation for female attractiveness, your comment has made me feel like a princess!”